Cries from the Heart (22 page)

Like many others I have quoted,
Clement of Alexandria says that
prayer is a conversation with God. The more I think about this definition, the more I realize how good it is; namely, prayer does indeed include both talking and listening, ongoing dialogue and periods of silence, moments of happy fulfillment and hours of doubt
and sorrow. The definition is also good because it helps to remind
us that our communication need not be formal or “fixed”; on the
contrary, it proceeds like a conversation: naturally, spontaneously,
and freely. The longing for it will simply be there, just like the natural bodily needs we call hunger and thirst.

Psalm 42 opens: “As the deer longs for flowing streams, so longs my
soul for you, O God.” This is a wonderful image of how the thirsty soul
turns to God – never satisfied by one drink, but continually turning
back to him, over and over, to gain new strength.

John, a fellow pastor, says that for him and his wife, Gwen,
prayer is not something they discuss or even need to remember –
and certainly not something to be fitted into a busy schedule. To
them it is simply second nature.

Ever since we were married, we have read something of a spiritual nature and prayed together – every morning and every
night. We take turns saying the prayer. Turning inward like this
has been a tremendous help to us personally, because it helps us
to focus on the needs of others around us and throughout the
world. The communal prayer of the church (including the silent,
personal prayer of its members) has also meant a great deal to
us, and we have seen remarkable things happen as a result of it,
though often in a quiet way. Prayers of intercession are very important, but I believe the constant, if largely subconscious, attitude of thankfulness to God – for all his gifts, his protection, and
his leading – is even more significant.
When I think about my life, I am deeply thankful to God for
his guidance over the years, in spite of the many times I strayed.
The sense that God is leading me step by step has always given
me peace of heart. It was nothing I earned; it was pure grace.
Of course, there have also been periods in my life when I
thought I knew where God was leading me, and then I found I
was on the wrong track.
Now I am old and feel I have gained little in wisdom, if any. I
still have my weaknesses. I am still John! The things I found
important as a young man remain important to me today:
economic and social justice, peace, and the brotherhood of man.
Yet there are a few things that have become increasingly
meaningful: prayer, faithfulness to my calling, and, most of all,
thankfulness. How easily I become selfish and concerned with
superficial things!
To me, prayer is by no means a matter of always going on
one’s knees. The essential elements are simply thanking God,
praising him, waiting for him to lead, and trusting him. Trust
gives me peace, for I know that if I leave everything in his hands,
his will, whatever it is, will become reality in my life.

We have no idea how much prayer can accomplish. Tennyson once
wrote, “More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams
of.” There is an incident told about Johann Christoph Blumhardt, whose life was threatened several times – as was to be expected,
some in his parish opposed his witness. One night a man slipped
into Blumhardt’s attic and hid, knife in hand, with the intention of
murdering him in his sleep. While lying in wait, he heard Blumhardt
pray and found his faith so disarming that he fled the house. The
next morning Blumhardt found a letter from the man on his
doorstep, confessing his intentions and telling him that this prayer
had changed his life.

Prayer is each individual’s contribution to his church and to the
world. If we care about the spiritual life, we will live in active
prayer. This should be a comfort for the sick, the elderly, and others
who cannot do much else but pray. I have often thought that what
they are doing for God and for the world is more important than
what we who are healthy and active do all day. Dick and Lois Ann,
neighbors for over forty years, say that as they age, they have begun to realize the same.

Prayer has always been part of our marriage, but in the last
years, as we have looked more often toward the end of our lives,
it has gained in importance. We have been much moved by the
writings of Thomas Merton, and through him, those of St. John
of the Cross. Our prayers have become more contemplative, a
more natural part of our daily life and work, and we have had
deeper experiences of inner quiet before God. We have learned
to use silence to praise God.
It has been said that at the end of life one stands between
time and eternity. In a sense, this is always true. But we have also
found that through prayer, the boundaries between life and
death, time and eternity, are taken away, and we can live in
direct contact with God.

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