Crossing Oceans (31 page)

“She’s better than you deserve,” I said, trying to sound more tongue-in-cheek than I was. We all knew it was the truth—I suspect even David.

He gave a toothy smile. “I’m still thanking my lucky stars.”

I cleared my throat, wanting to end this conversation. “I think we’re ready to go.”

Without warning, Craig slid his hand behind my neck, leaned me backward, planted his soft, cool lips against mine, and gave me a kiss that tasted of root beer. It was a kiss I wouldn’t soon forget. When I opened my eyes, everyone was studying the ground. Everyone except David. He stared at Craig as though he’d just caught him red-handed trying to hot-wire his car. Wrong as it was, the jealousy in his eyes left me almost as satisfied as Craig’s kiss.

As we made our way down the steps, a fat ball of orange fur emerged from the shadows of the porch. Sweet Pea’s tail pointed skyward as he sauntered up to Isabella. He rubbed against her leg, purring like a motorbike and leaving a trail of fur along her pant leg. She reached out to pet him, but I grabbed her hand in the nick of time. Though she was the one person he’d let touch him without retaliating, I didn’t want to take any chances. She looked at me. “We almost forgot Sweet Pea!”

I shook my head. “We can’t take him, Bells.”

“Why . . . not?” Mama Peg said through coughs.

I turned around. She smiled mischievously.

If I had been a nicer person, I’d have let David off the hook by giving Isabella a firm no. Unfortunately for David, I wasn’t that person. If ever two creatures deserved each other, it was Sweet Pea and David Preston. If they weren’t different species, I would have sworn they were twins separated at birth. “It’s okay with me,” I said, not feeling half as guilty as I should have, “but I think you better ask your father.”

Isabella’s mouth spread into an ear-to-ear grin before the smile suddenly faded—replaced with her best manipulative pout. She batted her lashes at David. “Oh, please, Daddy. Can Sweet Pea come? He would help me be less scared. Please. Please. Pretty, pretty please?”

Red spread over David’s face and neck as he glared at me, then at the cat, and finally turned his attention back to his daughter. “I wish we could, angel, but we can’t take your grandma’s kitty. She’s had him forever. I’m already taking her two best girls. We don’t want her to be lonely.”

“I still have Jack and Craig,” Mama Peg quickly added. “I won’t be lonely. Really, David, I insist. It will be my going-away present.”

David turned and gave her a weary look, then let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, thanks.” He still had a scar on his left hand where Sweet Pea had gotten him good our senior year of high school. “Fine, but I am not putting that thing in its carrier. You know very well that it hates me.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” Mama Peg said. “He hates everyone except Bella.”

Craig watched the exchange with his fingertips tucked into the pocket of his jeans, looking as though he were losing his best friend, which of course he was. “I’ll do it. I’ll bring him with me tomorrow when I visit.”

David rolled his eyes. “Great.”

Mama Peg winked at me. “I’ll see you soon, kiddo.” To the unbeliever, her words might have been interpreted as a little white lie meant to spare us each from the harshness of reality. After all, she seldom, if ever, ventured farther than the yard those days, and I would soon be bedridden. But I knew as well as she did that even if we never saw each other again in the confines of our ailing bodies, our reunion in heaven would not be far-off.

My crutches rubbed against my armpits as we made our way to David’s car. When he opened the door for Isabella and me to get in, I turned around one last time. Craig, Mama Peg, and my father all waved as if they were standing at a train station platform, sending us off with a happy little bon voyage. Not knowing how else to react, I waved back. I knew the second the car rolled out of sight, they would all break down.

I, however, would not have that luxury.

From the back window, I watched Craig bring his fingers to his lips to blow me a kiss. I did the same, chanting a mantra in my head not to cry. Isabella turned and waved both hands at them, squealing with delight at everyone’s attention fixed on her.

To my daughter, this was not the same sad farewell it was to me. After my death, per our legal settlement, she would see my family every weekend until she was grown. This move with her mommy was nothing but another adventure. For me, it would be my last.

Craig’s shoulders slumped as he watched the car pull away, and I could almost feel his heart breaking. I reminded myself that he promised to visit me daily, even if it meant being nice to David.

My father, on the other hand, said he couldn’t make the same promise. He’d forgiven David’s father for the most part, but David was another story.

As we rounded the corner, I took a deep breath and turned around.

Chapter Thirty-seven

As David sat at his desk on the opposite side of the living room punching numbers into a calculator, I sat in a wheelchair by the bay window watching the wind blow through barren treetops. If he was aware of my presence in the house, you wouldn’t know it. How Lindsey could stand living with him was beyond me.

He was scarcely aware of anyone or anything’s presence except his beloved Lindsey, his stock portfolio, and the television set when the Virginia Tech Hokies played. Apparently I was the only one in the house it seemed to bother, so I kept my opinions to myself.

Sweet Pea meowed at his feet. David frowned at him and gently kicked the cat away with the side of his shoe. Sweet Pea’s orange fur shot up as he bared his teeth. David flinched and drew back his legs. When the cat sashayed away, not making good on his threat, David mumbled something about a gift that keeps on giving and dove back into his spreadsheet.

I heard a car pull into the driveway. The side of David’s mouth curled up, and I knew he was relieved to have his wife home. He needed her almost as much as Isabella needed me. After a few minutes, Lindsey fluttered through the front door, carrying department store shopping bags in one hand and holding my daughter’s hand with the other.

“Look, Mommy!” Isabella ran to me. She patted the hot pink earmuffs she wore and grinned.

“Wow,” I said, trying to keep my drooping eyes open. I’d been awake for only half an hour. I shouldn’t be as tired as I was.

“Mommy Lindsey bought them for me.”

My heart tripped on the new endearment. Lindsey couldn’t have looked more guilty as her gaze flew to me.

If I hadn’t been dying, the thought of my baby calling anyone besides me Mommy, Mama, or any derivative close to them would have broken my heart. But this, I reminded myself, was the goal of my being there. This was good.

Lindsey started to stutter an explanation, but I cut her off. “It’s okay,” I said. “That’s what we want.” A moment of panic overtook me. “When can we plant the tree? We need to do it soon before it’s too late.”

Her smile looked sad. “You already did. Your father helped you, remember?”

“That’s right,” I said, relaxing. “That’s right.”

Isabella’s gaze traveled between us, then settled on me again. “Mommy, can you come play Barbie with us?”

I reached my hand out to touch her, but my arm was so weak that it dropped back to my side. “Maybe after my nap, sweetness.”

Isabella crossed her arms. “All you do is sleep!”

Lindsey laid her bags down and hurried over to me. “Honey, your mommy’s sick, remember? Isn’t it nice that she stayed awake just so she could see your new earmuffs before she took a nap?”

Isabella’s scowl dissolved. “You stayed awake just to see my earmuffs?”

“Of course,” I said. “And they were well worth it.”

“Do you really like them?” she asked, patting them once again.

“They sure do look pretty on you,” I said with a yawn.

“Come on, Bells, let’s help your mommy to bed so she’ll have the energy to read you your bedtime story tonight.”

I mouthed a thank-you to Lindsey. She had become such a godsend. Without her and my hospice nurse, I don’t know how I would have survived the last few weeks. Mama Peg wasn’t strong enough to bathe me or help me to the bathroom, and I was thankful I didn’t have to let my father or Craig see me in such unflattering situations. But Lindsey handled it gracefully, affording me a dignity I know I wouldn’t have been able to keep had I stayed at my father’s house or with Craig at the saddle barn.

Lindsey wheeled the chair I occupied to my room, helped me pivot into bed, and covered me up. Isabella leaned down and kissed my cheek. Lindsey surprised me by doing the same. I would never have thought it possible, but somewhere over the last weeks, I’d grown to love this woman, who I knew had also grown to love me. I looked at them, my heart overflowing.

I studied Lindsey, with her doe eyes and sweet spirit, and finally understood why David had chosen her. I would have too, I thought without a twinge of jealousy.

Lindsey laid a finger over her lips to signal Isabella to be quiet as they started for the door.

“Wait,” I said.

They both turned.

“Lindsey, please make sure you wake me before she goes to bed.”

“I always do,” she said softly.

“I’d like for you to come too this time.”

She gave me a questioning look.

“Tonight’s bedtime story is going to be about the day I brought Bella home from the hospital. I thought you might want to hear it too. I tell her that story every year on her birthday. And since you’ll be pinch-hitting . . .”

She laid a hand over her heart as her eyes filled with tears. I could tell by the shape of her lips that she was trying to thank me, but the words wouldn’t come.

“I love you,” I said, making deliberate eye contact with both of them.

“I love you too, Mommy,” Isabella said.

Lindsey covered her mouth. Tears trickled over her hand as she closed the door.

Chapter Thirty-eight

Three weeks later, pain ripped into my right side. I tried to lift my head, but it throbbed so severely, I had no choice but to lay it back down. I must have forgotten to take my pain pill before I fell asleep. Lindsey was usually good at reminding me, but maybe she’d been distracted by Isabella and had forgotten.

I opened my eyes, surprised to find my father’s head resting on the mattress beside me. “Daddy,” I whispered. “Can you help me?”

His eyes shot open and he sat upright, looking shaken and confused. “What is it, pumpkin? What’s wrong?”

My throat felt like sandpaper, but that was the least of my problems. Every nerve in my body felt as though it were on fire. “It hurts.”

“It’s okay, Mr. Lucas. I’ve got her medicine right here.”

A woman with black curls and a round, chocolate face leaned close to me. She smelled like cotton candy. “Hey, sweet stuff. Long time no see.”

“Hi, Darlene.” I winced. “How long?”

“You were out about two days this time. It hurts bad, doesn’t it?”

“These tears aren’t from joy,” I said.

Her dark eyes filled with sympathy as she brushed the damp hair from my face. “I’ve been giving you your medicine as shots, but now that you’re awake, you may want something you can swallow.”

I ran my dry tongue over my teeth and tasted the mint of toothpaste. I wondered if it had been my hospice nurse, Darlene, or Lindsey who had groomed me this time. “I don’t remember any shots.”

Darlene smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment. So what do you prefer, injection or pill?”

I groaned in pain. “Whatever works fastest.”

She must have already been preparing to give me a shot because she pulled a syringe from her lab jacket pocket. “I’m only going to give you half of what I normally do because you have some visitors and I don’t want to knock you out again. It should be enough to take the edge off at least. Okay?”

I tried to look around the room, but the pain was so bad it had affected my vision. Before I could ask who my visitors were, I felt something cool wipe against my arm and a sharp prick like a bee sting. The pain was nothing compared to that which ravaged the rest of my body.

Within minutes, the fire began to cool and the throbbing dulled. I was finally able to lift my head. When I looked down, I noticed an air mattress pulled next to my bed. It had a crumpled afghan piled in the center of it. I recognized the blanket as the one Mama Peg had made my father the same year my mother died. I turned to him. “How long have you been here?”

He rubbed at the scruff on his cheeks. “Awhile. We all thought . . .”

“Wow,” I said. “My father sleeping at a Preston’s house.”

He shrugged, caught between a smile and tears. “I figured if you could stand to live with him, then I could tough out a few nights too. Besides, anyone that gave Bella half her genes can’t be
all
bad.”

I almost couldn’t believe my ears.

He leaned in and whispered, “But I have to say, I’m still glad you didn’t marry the fool.”

“Is that mine?” I pointed to a cup of water sitting on the bedside table.

“Mine, yours, what difference does it make? If you’re thirsty, drink it.” He picked up the glass and then the pillow behind my head.

The water felt so wonderfully cool sliding down my parched throat. “Where’s Bella?”

Mama Peg answered. “In the living room, kiddo.”

I turned to the far corner of my bedroom and grinned when I saw my grandmother sitting in a chair with her oxygen tank resting at her feet. “Mama Peg . . . you’re here.”

Darlene laid a damp washcloth on my forehead. “Everyone’s here, Jenny. I asked them to come.”

A moment later, Lindsey appeared in the doorway with my daughter in tow. Isabella moved to my bedside with a cautiousness that I’d never experienced from her before.

“Hey, sweetness.” When I reached out to touch her, she drew back. My heart felt the sting of rejection until I noticed that my hand was the same shade of mustard that my mother’s had been right before she died.

I brought my hand to my nose and cringed. It smelled of rotting fruit. “It’s okay, Bells. I may look and smell bad, but it’s still me.”

Isabella scrunched her eyes closed, puckered up, and bent down as though being forced to kiss a frog. I suppose it would have hurt my feelings had I not been through the same thing with my own mother. Under the circumstances, I took no offense.