Crossroad To Love (Fab Five Series) (23 page)

“No, I guess you didn’t. That was some kiss. But you said
you wanted to talk, so I am ready to listen now.”

She took a deep breath before beginning.

“Ryan, in the past week, we have become close, am I right?”
she began nervously chewing her lip as she watched his face.

 “We have. You came into my sorry life like a Texas tornado.
You really turned me around, little lady.”

Katy giggled at the thought of being compared to a tornado.
“I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Oh, you bet it is. If we intend to pursue this thing,
though, and see where it leads us, we are going to have to discuss the distance
factor, you know.”

She looked into his eyes and began to speak again. “But we
need to talk about something else first.”

He smiled down at her. 

“Have it all figured out, don’t you?” He touched her cheek
softly and leaned over to kiss her.

She responded to his kiss again, not wanting it to end. But
end it must, so she pulled away and tried to speak again.

“Ryan, there is something else I have to tell you. This is
very serious and I have been debating how to tell you ever since we had dinner
the other night. Do you remember our conversation about Marnie and the
accident?”

He sighed as he said, “Yes, I do, but why do we have to ruin
tonight by bringing her up? I thought the other night was the end of that
subject.”

“I had hoped that it would be the end of that subject, but
something you said that night absolutely stunned me. I was so shocked that I didn’t
know what to say at the time, but I have given it a lot of thought, and you
have to know.”

“What in the world are you trying to tell me, Katy?” Ryan
asked, a puzzled look on his face.

She took a deep breath and finally spoke the words that she
did not want to say. The words that would end her newfound relationship with
the first man she had met in ten years that was worth getting to know.

“Ryan, remember when you told me how you’d tried to locate
the widow of the driver of the other car, but you decided against it?”

“Yes… Oh, my God, Katy, I forgot… He lived in Chicago… Did
you know them?” Realization was slowly beginning to dawn.

“Ryan, this is so hard for me… My given name is Kathryn…
Katy is a nickname.”
There, I’ve said it
.

Ryan was silent for several minutes. He rose from the couch
and ran his hand through his hair. He turned to look at Katy crying on the
couch and gasped, “It’s you?”

She nodded silently, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

“Ryan, it’s all right.”

“No. How can it ever be all right? My devious, cheating wife
and her lover were in the car that crossed the center line and killed your
beloved husband and your precious little girl. How can that ever be all right?
How can you even stand to be in the same city with me, let alone start a
relationship with me?” Ryan asked angrily, hating himself for being a reminder
to her of what she had lost.

“It’s not your fault, Ryan. You had nothing to do with the
accident. I don’t blame you in any way. Please believe me. I had no qualms
about starting a relationship with you. I wanted to spend time with you, get to
know you, see where this leads us. But what we thought was love at first sight
may have been nature’s way of getting us together so that both of us could have
closure with the past. I just don’t know what to think.” A single tear rolled
down her cheek. Ryan reached over to wipe it away and kissed the spot where it
had rolled.

“But, can you say that in time, you wouldn’t grow to resent
me, Katy, darling? And what about your son, surely he would resent me?” he
asked gently. “You may be right. We may have been meant to meet and that was
all. We were meant to be friends and to work together. Maybe that was all it
was. We could be misreading the signs.”

“Ryan, I really thought I was falling in love with you. You
asked me if I believed in love at first sight. Well, I never did, but after
meeting you, I did. There was something about you the first time my eyes met
yours. How can that not mean something? How can I feel the way I do when you
kiss me if it doesn’t mean anything? I’m so confused.”

“What about your son? What will he say when he finds out who
I am?”

“He knows, Ryan. He feels the same way I do. It’s not your
fault. He wants to meet the man who’s turned my head after all these years. He
wishes us well. He believes we are starting a relationship. I don’t think he
considers the accident to be a factor in that.”

“You have had a few days to get used to this. I am, as you
said you were, stunned. I need to think this thing through. Katy, you do mean
the world to me, you know that, but I just can’t even begin to wrap my head
around this right now. I need some time to put it all into perspective. Can you
understand that?” Ryan looked down at Katy sadly. 

“I will give you all the time you need, Ryan,” she replied
simply. “I need time to think, as well. In time, maybe we will find a way to overcome
this. In the meantime, we’ll be working together somewhat, although most of my
work will be with Chloe. We can still work together, can’t we?”

Ryan came over to the couch, knelt in front of Katy and took
her into his arms.

“Baby, I am so sorry. Sorry for your loss. Sorry that it had
to be my wife in the other car. Sorry that this had to come between us. I am in
love with you, it was not a fantasy. And yes, by all means, we are two
civilized adults. We can work together and we can be friends. Anything beyond
that… I just don’t know. I love you, but I don’t know if I can be with you.
There would always be the accident in the background, standing between us.”

“But it doesn’t have to come between us, my love.” Katy
gently touched his face.

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, his cheek, and
finally his mouth. He hesitated for just a minute and then returned her kiss
with all the love that he felt for her.

“Katy, please forgive me. I’m going to take you back to the
hotel now. We need to say goodnight before we go further than we intend to.
Very many more kisses like that and we may easily lose control. That wouldn’t
be a good thing right now.”

“Or it might be the best thing to happen to both of us in a
long time,” she replied softly, her eyes willing him to make love to her.

“Ah, my yellow rose, don’t look at me like that. We have a
lot of thinking to do and we’re both going to be very busy with our businesses
in the near future. So, you get on that plane in two days and you fly home to
Chicago. You think about everything that has happened this week. You think
about the past. You see if you still feel the same way about me after you put
some distance between us, and I will do the same. When you come back to Dallas
to work on the project, we’ll talk again. That’s the best I can do for now, my
sweet love.” He looked sadly into her eyes before turning away and reaching for
his keys.

“If that is truly what you want. I do believe I love you,
Ryan. But I will think about it and I will give you the space you need. We came
into each other’s lives for a reason. I’m not sure what that reason was. That’s
what we need to figure out.  Neither one of us can deny the strong feelings
that we share for each other. That kiss just proved that.”

“I wish things could be different for us. But, Katy, you
have to be sure that months or years down the road, you won’t resent who I am.
I’ll take you back to your hotel now and I’ll call you soon to make
arrangements for you to fly back out here to work.”

Katy sadly gathered her things and let Ryan lead her out of
the condo and back to his car. Things had gone pretty much the way she had
anticipated, but it did not make it hurt any less. At least there was still a
chance that they would be able to come to grips with it all. He had not ruled
out a relationship with her. She would just have to wait patiently. The ball
was in his court now. She had waited ten years for him to come into her life,
what were a few more months? If he came back to her, then she would know it was
meant to be.
If we’d made love
,
maybe he would have decided to stay
with me
. She’d never wanted a man as much as she had wanted Ryan tonight.

The ride back to the hotel was a quiet one. When they pulled
into the parking lot of the Prava, he parked the car and turned to her. “I do
love you.” He took her into his arms and kissed her one last, sweet time. When
he released her, he said, “I’ll call you. Think about what I said. I won’t say
goodbye. I can’t.”

“I’ll wait for your call, then.” 

He walked her to the elevator and then he was gone. Katy
rode the elevator up to her floor. She held the tears in check until she
reached the door of the suite.
Everyone is going to get a happy ending but
me. It just isn’t fair.

As she unlocked the door and entered the room, she fell into
the waiting arms of her three closest friends. They allowed her to cry until
she could cry no more. Then they led her to the couch, fixed her a drink and
proceeded to listen as she told them the events that had taken place in Ryan’s
living room.

Angie was the first to speak. “Honey, there’s still hope.
Just give him time to come to grips with all of it.”

“Yes, Angie’s right, all is not lost. He’s in shock,” Lizzie
agreed.

Marianne thoughtfully added, “Don’t give up, Katy. He did
say that he loves you. He just has to find a way to deal with the guilt. Not so
different from me and Jon.”

The girls got ready for bed. Lizzie whispered to Katy, “I’ll
see Ryan at the meeting tomorrow. I’ll see how he’s doing, and if I can get
Chloe alone, I’ll see if she’s talked with him.”

“Thank you, Liz, I’m so worried about him. I know that my
feelings are not going to change, as he’s afraid they will. But I’m so worried
that this has come between us forever.”

“Pray and have faith. It will all work out. I know it will.”

The girls said goodnight and turned out the lights. Sleep
was a long time coming for Katy. She finally fell asleep in the early morning
hours, dreaming mixed-up dreams of Bill, Bree, and Ryan.

Friday morning dawned bright with the Texas sunlight
streaming brilliantly into the window of the bedroom.

Lizzie decided to let Katy sleep in, as she knew she had
been awake most of the night tossing and turning. They shared a bedroom and Lizzie
had heard her talking in her sleep from the next bed. Lizzie slipped quietly
from her bed, showered and dressed for her meeting. When she went to
kitchenette to make coffee, Marianne and Angie were already there. Angie poured
a cup, handed it to Lizzie with a sweet roll, and inquired about Katy.

“She was apparently having nightmares all night. She tossed
and turned and I heard her calling out for first Bill, then Bree, and finally
for Ryan. I also heard her tell Ryan she loved him with all her heart,” Lizzie
relayed sadly.

“Why in the world can’t Katy have any happiness in her life?
She is the best person I know. She always is the one who helps all of us. She
pulled herself up by her bootstraps when Bill died and went on with her life.
She raised a wonderful son. Now, just when her life should be beginning a new
chapter, she gets slapped down again. It’s just not fair,” Angie spouted
angrily as she poured herself a second cup of coffee.

“I know, it doesn’t seem fair, but those two really do have
a lot to work out before they could even begin to think of starting a
relationship. There is a lot of baggage there. But all is not lost. Katy is
starting an exciting new career,” Marianne replied.

“Take it from one who knows, a career does not keep you warm
on a cold, winter’s night,” Angie answered with regret in her voice.

“Well, I need to get going. You guys keep an eye on her
while I’m gone.” Lizzie prepared for her meeting with Rex and the O’Gradys. She
grabbed her bag and the ads and went to meet Rex. Marianne and Angie agreed to
stay with Katy until Lizzie returned. It was their last day together and they
had made plans to do some last minute shopping later, but right now, Katy was
their priority. The shopping would have to wait.     

Katy was awake in the next room but not ready to face the
day yet. She lay in bed thinking about each of her friends. They each had new
plans to look forward to in the coming days and weeks. Michael and Angie were
leaving early in the morning. They were driving back instead of flying. It
would give them some time together before starting their work together. They
were going to stop in Shreveport and tour a hotel at one of the casinos to get
some ideas. They intended to spend the day there and head back to Iowa early
Sunday morning. Angie had intended to be back at work on Monday, but really was
not scheduled to be back until Tuesday, so she and Michael had decided to take
full advantage of the extra day to be together. They were going to have a very
full work load once they got back, so they might as well relax while they
could. A road trip would be good for both of them.

Lizzie and Rex had discussed possibly taking a few extra
days off. Rex had cleared his calendar before coming to Dallas. He was in need
of a few days of rest and relaxation. They were flying out tomorrow afternoon
to St. Louis and staying there for a few days and then flying home. That would
give them some much needed time together before Lizzie began working at the
agency.

Marianne would be taking Katy to the airport since it looked
as if Ryan would not be. Katy would fly home on Saturday and begin working on
her designs. There she would wait for Ryan’s call so she could make
arrangements to come back to Dallas. She was glad Marianne had invited her to
stay with her and Jon when she came back. She was sure she would need the
support of her friend during that stay. Katy also would be making a trip to
Iowa to meet with Angie. So she would have work and travel to fill her time
while she recovered from this traumatic trip to Dallas.
Would it be enough
?