Authors: Connie Willis
“Yes, yes, we know,” Dr. Verrick said impatiently.
“Right, but look at this pattern.” C.B. showed them the diagram. “It starts with Lyzandra and keeps bouncing back to her. That could mean it wasn't just a cascade, that it's a feedback loopâ”
A feedback loop?
Briddey thought.
“âwhich would mean that each time it travels from one person to another, it intensifies the effect.”
“The effect of what? The overload?”
“Or Lyzandra's reaction to it,” C.B. said. “What if the incoming flow of telepathic signals didn't trip a breaker but triggered a signal inhibitor of some kind? Because everyone is linked, that action would be communicated to all the others, triggering their signal inhibitors, too.”
“But if it were a signal inhibitor, it would inhibit the voices completely. It wouldn't cause intermittent disruptions.”
“It would if it takes more than one inhibitor to cancel out the signals,” C.B. said, “or if the inhibitor mechanism was too weak to sustain that cancellation. With a feedback loop”âhe drew a continuous loop on the diagram, circling to each of their names in turn and back again to Lyzandraâ“not only does Lyzandra's information cascade to the three of us, but our reactions to it do, too. So with each circuit, the cascade's amplified, and the number of inhibitors increases, or the inhibitor response is strengthened, or both.”
And the disruptions would grow longer and more frequent. Which was exactly what was happening.
“But it wouldn't affect anyone else?” Dr. Verrick asked.
He's worrying about his other patients,
Briddey thought.
“They'd have to have been telepathically linked to you for it to affect them, wouldn't they?” Dr. Verrick persisted.
“Or listening in,” C.B. said. That was why Maeve had been affected. She'd been listening in, so she'd become part of the feedback loop.
Maeve experienced a blackout, too?
C.B. said, and when Briddey automatically shushed him, he told her,
It's okay. Lyzandra and Trent are both blanked out right now. How long was this disruption, and how long ago did Maeve have it?
Briddey told him and informed him of Mary Clare's catching Maeve watching
Brains, Brains, Brains.
Then she must be telling the truth,
he said, and she realized he'd suspected Maeve of being behind the blocking, too.
Yeah, it did cross my mind,
he said,
though I didn't really think she was capable of it, her moats and brambles and firewalls notwithstanding.
But you're capable of it,
Briddey said.
Not this, I'm not. I don't know anybody who is.
What about Lyzandra? We don't know anything about her. Maybe she's more telepathic than you thought, and she doesn't want any competition, so she's shutting us downâ
No, I can read her mind, remember? She's completely bewildered by all this, and terrified at the prospect of losing her “psychic spirit gift,” as she calls it. And if she had even rudimentary skill at blocking the voices, she'd never have let herself be hit that hard by them. Trust me, it's not her.
So it wasn't Lyzandra, and it obviously wasn't Trent. He didn't even have the ability to
hear
C.B. and Lyzandra, let alone block them. And besides, this was the last thing he wanted to see happen. Which only left C.B.'s feedback-loop theory.
But C.B. and I don't haveâ
she thought, and hastily shoved the rest of the thought away till C.B. blanked out again.
As soon as he did, she checked on Lyzandra's and Trent's statusâshe was blanked out, and Trent was worrying about how he was going to break the bad news to Hamiltonâand then went into her safe room and barred the door. Only then did she allow herself to finish the thought and consider its implications.
C.B. had said the cascade had triggered the inhibitors, but she and C.B. didn't
have
inhibitors. They lacked the genes. Plus, he had asked her all those questions in the testing room about what Dr. Verrick had said regarding the neural pathway being a feedback loop. Those questions and now this explanation couldn't be a coincidence, and there was only one reason for him to have lied about their inhibitors being the cause of the disruptions:
He
was causing them.
And the reason the disruptions were intermittent was because that was all he could manage for now. He was too exhausted to do all three of them continuously, so he'd come up with this intensifying-feedback-loop story, and tomorrow, after he'd had some sleep, he'd block everyone. Except Dr. Verrick's other patients. He hadn't heard their voices either.
And just shutting down Trent and Lyzandra wouldn't solve anything. And if he could block people, why hadn't he blocked Trent yesterday morning before Trent ever heard her? Then they wouldn't be in this mess.
And if he was doing it, why had he looked the way he did the first time he'd been blanked out?
He couldn't have faked that expression,
she thought, remembering how bewilderedâand frightenedâhe had looked.
I don't care how expert a liar he is.
But if he wasn't doing it, why had he lied about the inhibitors? And why did the timing of their disruptions correspond so perfectly with the scans? When Dr. Verrick took her and Trent for their fCATs, she blanked out before they even got her into the room, and Dr. Verrick wasn't able to get anything.
C.B.
has
to be doing it,
she thought.
Maybe he has some plan for getting Dr. Verrick to bring the other telepaths here to the hospital so he can hear their voices,
and hoped he had enough energy to carry it off. When he came back from a second unsuccessful fCAT, he looked utterly worn out, and she half expected the disruptions to grow shorter in duration because he lacked the energy to sustain them.
But they didn't. As the day progressed, they became longer and closer together, and by late afternoon they'd begun happening to all four of them at once.
“This is terrible,” Trent said. “Can't Schwartz do something to stop this? Start a second feedback loop to inhibit the inhibitors or something?”
Briddey stared at him in disbelief. “You honestly want the voices back?”
“No, of course not, but what about the project? What am I going to tell Hamilton?” He waved his phone at her. “He just texted me asking how today went.”
Briddey looked at C.B., who was going over his scan with Dr. Verrick, looking strained and exhausted. “Tell him it didn't go very well,” she said.
“Wonderful,” Trent said sarcastically. “We have barely two months till Apple rolls out their new phone, I've already told Hamilton we were on the verge of a breakthrough that would blow them out of the water, and now I have nothing to show for it. Everythingâmy future, my career, my
job
âis riding on this, and
you
think I should tell Hamilton it didn't go very well? How do you suppose he'll respond?”
“Better than he would if you'd gone ahead with your phone and then this had happened,” Briddey said. “Just think of the ads Apple and Samsung would air: âAt least our smartphones won't drive you mad. Or kill you.'â”
“Oh, my God, you're right! I hadn't thought of that.” He looked down at his phone again. “But that still doesn't help me with Hamilton. I've got to tell him
something
.”
“Tell him the truth, that the telepathy turned out to be too dangerous to use, that there were unintended consequences that made putting it in a phone non-viable.”
“I can't tell him that! I assured him it
was
viableâand perfectly safe. And âunintended consequences' makes it sound like I didn't think it through.”
Which you didn't,
Briddey thought. “Then tell him there have been complicating factors.”
He grimaced. “Everyone knows âcomplicating factors' is code for âunmitigated disaster.'â”
Then that sounds perfect for this situation,
she thought.
“Can't you think of something less negative-sounding?” Trent said.
“How about âinteresting developments which need to be looked into further'?”
“Oh, that's good. Interesting developments. Tell Dr. Verrick I had to make some calls. I'll be back in a minute.” He went out.
C.B. was still talking to Dr. Verrick. He looked like he was on his last legs, his face drawn, his whole body slumping with fatigue.
There was a knock on the door, and a nurse leaned in. “I'm sorry to interrupt, Doctor,” she said, “but one of your patients is on the phone. He says it's urgent.”
Dr. Verrick nodded. “This will just take a moment,” he said, went out, and shut the door behind him, presumably so he could speak to her in private.
Which either means he thinks we're all blanked out, or he still doesn't fully grasp the concept of telepathy,
Briddey thought. She might not be able to hear the person on the other end of the conversation, but she could hear Dr. Verrick's voice. And his nurse's.
She went into her courtyard and located Dr. Verrick's frequency on the radio, and then tapped the volume knob. “It's Michael Jacobsen,” she heard his nurse say. “He says he's lost all mental contact with his fiancée. Her voice suddenly went dead half an hour ago, and he hasn't heard anything from her since.”
“To be Irish is to know that in the end the world will break your heart.”
âD
ANIEL
P
ATRICK
M
OYNIHAN
Dr. Verrick immediately phoned his two other telepathic patients, the Dowds, and asked them if they'd noticed any difference in their ability to communicate. They hadn't, but half an hour later the nurse interrupted again to report that someone named Paul Northrup had just experienced a “momentary disruption.”
At that point Trent and Lyzandra were both blanked out and had been for the last half hour, and Briddey'd just come out of a twenty-four-minute silence she'd begun to think was never going to end.
Did you hear that, C.B.?
she asked.
Yeah,
he said grimly.
And in case you're still thinking I'm the one behind this, I didn't even know this Paul Northrup existed
.
Then howâ?
I don't know. Maybe they were listening when the deluge happened, too, orâ¦
Or it
was
a cascade effect, and the disruptions were looping from telepath to telepath, triggering shutdown after shutdown. And circling back with ever-increasing strength.
By the time they left the hospital, Briddey's blanked-out periods far outnumbered the ones during which she could hear, and she didn't have to worry about the fCAT scans Dr. Verrick ordered, or lie to get terrible scores on the Zener tests he made them take.
Just like that guy in the Duke experiments,
C.B. said after the second test.
Remember the subject I told you about, the one Dr. Rhine was convinced was telepathic? And how he got such high scores and then, all of a sudden, they fell off sharply?
You told me you thought he'd stopped cooperating,
Briddey said.
Yeah, but what if I was wrong? What if the same thing that's happening to us happened to him? What if Rhine gave him a relaxant to “enhance receptivity,” and it caused a deluge that shut down the telepathy?
Is there any way to find out?
she asked, but if he answered her, she couldn't hear him. Everything had cut out again.
And it apparently had for C.B., too, because he said to Dr. Verrick, “Look, I just lost it again, and both of us are shot. Maybe if we go home and get some rest, we'll be able to communicate again.”
“
No,
” Trent said. “By tomorrow this could be gone, and we need to get as much data as we can before that happens.”
“Forget data,” Lyzandra said. “You need to figure out a way to stop this,” so Dr. Verrick ordered an imCAT for each of them.
But Trent was still blanked out, Briddey and C.B. both experienced disruptions less than a minute into the scan, and Lyzandra blanked out before the tech even got her onto the table, so Dr. Verrick ended up sending them home after all.
“Come in at nine tomorrow,” he said, “and in the meantime I want you to keep track of the times and duration of the periods during which you can send and receive. And phone me if those periods increase.”
“What about me?” Lyzandra said. “Am I supposed to go home, too? You brought me here, you destroyed my psychic spirit gift, and now you expect me to just go back to Sedona? What if it doesn't come back? What am I supposed to do? I'll be ruined!”
Dr. Verrick turned to deal with her, and Trent said, already putting his phone to his ear, “I've got to get back to Commspan. Hamilton wants to see me,” and left.
Good,
Briddey thought.
This'll give me a chance to talk to C.B. alone.
But when the two of them had successfully escaped Dr. Verrick's office, C.B. said, “I really need to get back to the lab and see if I can figure out what's going on. Would you mindâ?”
“Getting home on my own?” she said. “Of course not. Do you think it
is
a feedback loop, like you told Dr. Verrick?”
“Maybe. I guess. I don't know.”
“But you said neural pathways didn't work like that.”
“Ordinarily, they don't, but⦔
“But even with a deluge and a cascade or a feedback loop or whatever it is, how could it trigger inhibitors we don't have?”
“I don't
know
,” he said testily. “Maybe I was wrong, and we do have them, and they just hadn't been activated before. Or maybe the cascade's transmitting not only the order to trigger the inhibitors but the instructions for constructing them.” He rubbed his hand tiredly across his forehead. “Or maybe it's something else entirely,” and left her standing there in the hospital lobby.
She called Kathleen for a rideâit no longer seemed to matter whether her family found out about the EED or notâbut Kathleen didn't answer. She debated calling Aunt Oona, but if she was laid up with rheumatism, Briddey shouldn't bother her, and she was in no shape to deal with Mary Clare, especially after a look at her messages, which demanded to know whether Briddey had let Maeve watch
Brains, Brains, Brains
on her phone when they'd gone to the park.
She called a taxi and tried not to think about the last time she'd left the hospital, with C.B. waiting for her, smiling and saying, “My lady, your chariot awaits.”
She was half afraid Mary Clare might be waiting at her apartment when she got home, but she wasn't, and there were no new messages from her. Or from Maeve. Not even mental ones.
The disruptions are getting longer for her, too,
Briddey thought, staring blindly at the phone.
She checked the rest of her messages, almost hoping there was one from Kathleen so she could call her back and hear a friendly voice, but all Briddey had was a text from Trent, telling her not to say anything about what had happened to anyone at work, and when she decided to try Kathleen anyway, she still didn't answer.
Briddey supposed she should try and get some rest, but she doubted if she couldâshe felt too wrung out. And too empty. She hadn't eaten anything all day.
Maybe that's part of the problem,
she thought.
C.B. said heightened emotional states could affect the telepathy. Maybe hunger can, too,
and went into the kitchen to see what was in the refrigerator.
Nothing edible, and the cupboard wasn't much better. All that was left after Maeve's raid for the ducks was a can of beets and a nearly empty box of organic MultiGrain Squares.
At least it isn't Lucky Charms,
Briddey thought, pouring a bowlful and taking it to the couch to eat, but the squares were just as tasteless as the marshmallows had been, and their shapes just as indeterminate. She thought of C.B. sitting across the table from her in the Carnegie Room, trying to guess what the marshmallows were: green hats, yellow dog bones, albino octopi.
Are you there?
she called to him, but either he was experiencing a disruption or he was too absorbed in trying to find out what was causing them to hear her.
Or he doesn't want to talk to me,
she thought, no longer hungry,
because I'm the one responsible for this. Lyzandra and her inhibitors may have triggered the cascade, but I opened the floodgates. I let the voices in
.
She took the uneaten cereal back to the kitchen, dumped it down the sink, and went back into the living room.
You need to go to bed,
she told herself, but she went on sitting there, hoping that C.B.âor Maeveâwould break in to tell her that the blanked-out intervals were lessening. But the only voice she heard was Trent's.
What in the hell am I going to tell Hamilton?
she heard him say, an edge of desperation in his voice.
Maybe I won't have to tell him anything. Maybe this is just temporary, and I can stall him untilâ
His voice cut out, but Briddey didn't notice. When everyone had been trying to talk her out of having the EED, Kathleen had sent her something about its effects being temporary. Could that be it? Could her EED have worn off, and since they were all linked together, it had affected the others? If that were the case, it might be possible to redo the EEDâ¦
“I thought of that,” C.B. said when she saw him the next morning at the hospital, “but that would have taken months, not days. And you would have had the first disruption, not Lyzandra.” He dragged his fingers wearily through his hair.
He looked even more exhausted than he had the night before. “Did you get any sleep at all?” Briddey asked.
“Not much,” he admitted, “but enough to know I'm not blocking the voices subconsciously, which I was secretly hoping might be the case. How about you? Did you get any sleep?”
“Some.”
“Are you still blanked out?”
“No, but the disruptions are getting steadily longer.” She showed him the time chart she'd made. “They're sixty percent longer now than the intervals when I can hear.”
“Yeah, mine, too.”
“C.B., I am
so
sorry. When I opened that door, I didn't realizeâ”
“I know. Don't blame yourself. That may not even be what did it. We won't know for sure what the underlying cause is till Dr. Verrick runs more tests. He wants to try to do another pair of imCAT scans while both subjects are still able to send and receive, though I don't know if he can find a window.”
He couldn't. Trent and Lyzandra were blanked out almost continuously now, and although Dr. Verrick waited till Briddey had just come out of a disruption to start their scan, she blanked out again almost immediately, and C.B. followed three minutes later. Dr. Verrick told them he'd wait to do further tests “until the situation improves,” and told them they could go.
C.B. stayed behind to go over the scan results with Dr. Verrick. “I'll call you as soon as I find out what they showed,” he told Briddey, “but it's looking more and more like the deluge is the culprit. I did some research on the saints and found a couple who heard voices several times and then had some kind of overpowering religious experience, after which they âfell down as one dead'âand after that didn't hear the voices anymore. Which sounds a lot like a deluge followed by shutting down.”
“What about Joan of Arc?” Briddey asked. “Did that happen to her?”
“I don't know. Look, I'll talk to you later,” he said, and went back into the testing room.
As soon as Briddey got out to her car, she looked up Joan of Arc on her phone and found to her relief that Joan had continued to hear her voices till the very end. But she was the exception. C.B. had played down the number of saints who'd abruptly lost their voices after a “vision” and never gotten them back. There were at least a dozen of them. Saint Brigid had “heard nothing more from that time hence,” and neither had Saint Bega of Turann, though she'd “begged most fervently for its return with penance, prayers, and much weeping,” convinced she had lost the ability to hear the voice because of a sin she'd committed.
Like me,
Briddey thought.
She drove back to Commspan, shut herself in her office, and tried to work on the still-unfinished interdepartmental communications report and not think about the fact that Maeve still hadn't contacted her.
Maybe she's continuously blanked out, like Trent and Lyzandra
, Briddey thought. But Maeve could still call her on the phone. Mary Clare's taking away her phone privileges wouldn't stop her, and at school she could easily borrow Danika's.
Briddey called Mary Clare. “Oh, good, I was just going to call you,” Mary Clare said. “Have you heard from Kathleen today?”
“No.”
“I haven't either, and I've been trying to reach her since Sunday night. She doesn't answer.”
Because she knows you want to interrogate her about letting Maeve watch zombie movies,
Briddey thought. “She probably forgot to turn her phone on,” she said. “How's Maeve?”
“Sulking because I called Danika's mother and told her Maeve was
not
to use Danika's phone or computer,” Mary Clare said.