Crow’s Row (34 page)

Cameron was up on his feet. He looked ill, but his expression remained otherwise even. He took a step toward me. Out of fear that I would let him take me in and in an act of devotion to the cause, I threw myself onto the bed and laid on my back, my body taut like a soldier.

When I glanced up, I saw that he had folded his arms and was waiting. His attempt at patience was disparaging.

“What are you waiting for?” My voice was pleading, almost begging.

He didn’t move an inch and continued to watch me, his eyes concentrating on my face.

A ball of tears was making its way to my eyes. I didn’t know what was worse: the fact that I had unclothed myself without much effect or the fact that he wasn’t even slightly interested in taking me up on my offer.

I took a breath, took my hands away, and posed myself on my side. I looked him in the eyes while tears carved a river down my cheeks. “I love you. There … I’ve admitted it. Now you can check that one off your list of things to do. Just know that I don’t have any experience with the next part … but I’m getting pretty good at taking orders from you.”

Cameron’s face remained impenetrable, though his glare never left my face. “Actually, you’re not. If you were good at following my orders, we wouldn’t be here. Now please put your clothes on so that we can talk about this … rationally.”

I shook my head in defiance and started to talk to myself. “I’ve been cooped up in this house, slowly going crazy, trying to figure you out … but you’ve just been using me. All this time.”

The tears were coming in steadfastly. Cameron had gone to grab the blanket that was over the couch, walked back, and placed it over me like I was a child throwing a tantrum. This only made me more incensed. I sat straight up.

“You treat people like they’re your personal property. I don’t even think that you can tell the difference between right and wrong anymore. Whatever makes you feel good is right. Everything else is wrong. You had Griff killed just because you thought that he and I might be more than just friends … or maybe because we were just friends …”

I was calming down, or I was running out of energy.

“I didn’t kill this Griffin guy. I don’t know why you would think that I did,” was all he retorted.

“The guard, Roach, told me.”

Cameron cringed. His lips thinned until all the blood vanished from them. “You would believe an idiot who takes his anger out on a girl, rather than believe me?”

“This
idiot
had no reason to lie to me. But you haven’t stopped lying since I got here. I just didn’t know that you were still lying to me until I overheard you speak to that woman today.”

“What you overheard me say to Manny wasn’t true, Emmy. If I told the truth … I’m just trying to protect you,” he stammered.

“Protect me? You bring me here against my will, order your guards to not talk to me or let me go anywhere, and you even leave your dog here to make sure that I don’t run away when you’re not looking. You’re not protecting me—you’re keeping me prisoner.”

The pain was now fully visible on his face. “Meatball sleeps here because he wants to, and I thought you would like the company at night.”

“Don’t do me any more favors,” I spat.

Cameron stood frozen in place. I wondered if he was faltering or just scrambling to come up with his next lie.

“You have to know that I would never hurt you …” He had almost sounded sincere, but this was nothing new and I was prepared for it.

“I don’t believe you. You’re a liar and I’m not buying it anymore.” I was weeping now. My whole body was aching and shaking—I was hot and cold, all at once.

I looked up through my saturated eyelashes. “Are you going to take me up on my offer?” I asked him in final desperation, my voice a whisper.

“Em …” he started again, slowly regaining control.

My hands covered my face and I wept while he calmly stood and watched. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Go away!” I ordered through my hands and turned my face away from him.

When he just stood there, I ordered him to leave again, but I sounded more convincing this time.

Cameron stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

I heard the thundering whack of his fist punching a hole through the staircase wall.

Then the whole house shook as the front door slammed shut too.

The room was spinning uncontrollably. My breathing was labored, and I was foaming at the mouth. And then my stomach lurched. I struggled out of bed as quickly as I could and sprinted to the washroom. I made it to the toilet on time. Too bad the lid was closed.

When I woke up, I was still lying on the cold bathroom tiles. I crawled back to bed and shivered under the blankets, squeezing my eyes shut. I slept very badly—there were nonsensical voices talking over each other in my head.

The next time I awoke, the room was exceedingly bright, and Carly was standing over me with the back of her hand on my face. I tried to pull her off but none of my muscles were responding to my brain’s orders.

“She’s burning up. Go get Cameron,” I heard her command.

“I did. He told me to go get you,” Rocco moaned.

Carly cursed under her breath. “Neither one of us can carry her.” She sighed. “Go fill the tub with cold water and I’ll go get him.”

My throat felt like it was on fire. I closed my eyes when it became too much work to keep them open. When I forced them open again, I saw Cameron’s stretched face. I was floating, and we were in the bathroom. He dropped me in the tub, and I cried out as my body hit icy-cold water. I flailed my arms, trying to get out, trying to grab hold of him, but he walked to Carly.

“She doesn’t want me here,” he said to her with a low voice.

“Fine!” She waived him off. “Leave. You’re just in my way anyway.”

She spoke, or cursed, in Spanish while she poured buckets of freezing water over my head. My body was trembling, and my jaw quaked so hard I was sure my teeth were going to shatter.

Rocco came through the door with his hand covering his eyes.

“Here,” he said as he blindly tendered a bucket over to Carly.

“Geez, Rocco! Have you never seen a girl in her underwear before?” Carly went to grab the bucket and poured its contents into the bath water. It was ice, and I wretched forward as the chill hit my skin once more.

“Please … stop …” I managed to voice through my teeth.

Carly laughed. “And she finally speaks. Must be a good sign.” She poured another bucketful over my head. “I come from a family of six kids, remember? Too bad for you, a cold bath is the only thing that will bring the fever down. I’m afraid you’ll have to suffer through it until your skin stops boiling.”

My body had graduated from trembling to full-out convulsions. Carly looked worried, but she continued to soak me, over and over. After a short while, she dunked her hand in the bath water to check the temperature. She cursed again. The ice was melting quickly under the heat of my skin. Rocco followed her shouted order and rushed back with another bucket full of ice.

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” she finally said softly. I was curled up in a ball and just stared at her while she continued to douse me. “Spider told Cameron that you would disappoint him—something about betrayal being in your blood. But I defended you … the whole time, I stuck up for you. Why you decided to mess with that Griffin guy is beyond me. I mean the guy had nothing going for him. He looked at us like we were trash, even though we’re the ones who put money in his pocket.”

“Just … friends,” was all I could stutter between shivers to defend myself.

“Right. Like I’ve never heard that one before.” Carly sneered. “I swear, people like you are way more trouble than you’re worth. Now it looks like I’m stuck playing nurse Carly just because you and Cameron can’t get along.”

“Can … take care … of myself.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I can see that.” She poured another ladle of water over me and placed the back of her palm over my forehead and cheeks. She contentedly hummed as she pulled the rubber plug. I watched the water drain out of the tub while she wrapped a thick towel around me. She walked out, and Cameron walked back in to carry me back to bed. I looked up at him. He kept his eyes out front and left the room like a ghost. Carly helped me get changed into my pajamas and threw all the blankets that Cameron had brought in over me. I gobbled down the pills and a few sips of the tall glass of water she gave me. Every bone and muscle in my body ached. I closed my eyes and fell into a comatose sleep.

The smell of food hit my nostrils, and I thought I was going to be sick again. I opened my eyes. Carly had brought a bowl of soup in. It was dark out, and the room was lit solely by the bedside lamp. I turned away in revulsion as Carly shoved the bowl under my nose.

“I’m not leaving until you eat all of this,” she announced.

My hand struggled to bring the spoon to my mouth. My stomach heaved. I dropped the spoon back into the bowl.

Carly grumbled and picked up the spoon. “It’s late, and I’m getting really tired of this babysitting thing. This won’t be a pretty visit if you don’t hurry up.”

She fed me the soup, and I ate as quickly as my stomach could manage. She gave me another round of pills, which I took without argument, and then she left. I laid my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes, focused on keeping the soup down.

The door opened and clicked back closed. I opened my eyes and confirmed my sick intuition.

Cameron stood by the bed with his arms folded. My head was pounding from watching him stand there. I couldn’t focus on him and on my stomach at the same time. I squeezed my eyes shut for a bit and felt him sit next to me on the bed.

When I slit my eyes open, I saw him leaning over his knees, looking at the ground.

He took a long ragged breath. “I know you’re not feeling well, so I’ll try to keep this short.” He looked like he was talking to the carpet. “I have no excuse to make for what you heard me say to Manny, except that you weren’t supposed to hear or see any of that. It was very dangerous what you did … for you to be there. I don’t know what I would have done … if anyone of them had seen you, found you there …” He shook his head in despair and recouped.

“I know you don’t believe anything I say, so there’s no point in me trying to defend myself to you anymore, even if it kills me to see you so disgusted with me. But there’s one thing I do need you to know: I love you Emmy. I’ve loved you for a very long time.” He turned his eyes to me for the briefest of moments, and I felt a crack in my newly erected armor. “To have you here, with me … I guess in some sick way, for a while, I thought that this thing between us could work. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, but looks like I managed to do that anyway.” Cameron took another breath. “This place is where I have to be, but it’s not a place where you can or should be. There’s nothing that I can do to change that. I won’t put this life on you.”

He looked at me, like he was awaiting some kind of response. But I wasn’t lucid enough to be able to come up with any response to what he had just hit me with.

With no reaction from me, Cameron sighed and continued his conversation with the carpet. “I’m leaving for work in a couple days. I’ll speak to Spider and make arrangements while I’m in the city to have an armed guard watch over you from your house instead of here. When I get back, we’ll plan for you to go back home. I’ll make sure to stay out of your way until I leave.”

He got up and hesitated over me.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

He kissed my burning forehead before walking out of the room.

I wanted to cry. I fell asleep instead, my thoughts in a state of shock.

In the night I heard Meatball whining at my door … Cameron shouted for him to come downstairs … but ended up having to come to the door to drag Meatball away by the collar when the dog defied him. Sadly, in my battle with Cameron, I had also lost my bedfellow.

I fell asleep again. Cameron’s face cruelly filled my dreams. But the monster never came back.

 Chapter Nineteen:
 Expecting the Expected

Over the next few days, Cameron didn’t have to put much effort into trying to avoid me, because I didn’t leave the room or the bed. Rocco came to visit regularly, but he would quickly get bored of me just lying there. He’d drop on the bed next to me and then venture to the couch to watch TV or leave altogether. Carly continued to sourly bring me my meals, and I slowly got stronger as the days wore on.

By the third day, I was able to walk around my room without feeling like I was going to vomit or pass out, and I took a long-overdue shower. After I got dressed, I went to the opened patio door to feel the fresh air on my face. There were voices down on the deck below. I peeked around the curtain to see Spider and Carly lounged on patio chairs while Cameron was slouched over the rail, facing away from them.

“Carly and I can’t keep this up for much longer,” Spider said.

“Carly and you? Did you really just admit that out loud?” Cameron’s voice was very bitter.

“We know that you’re tired, but we need a decision to be made on this before things get too out of hand,” Carly added in an almost whisper.