Crux (13 page)

“All of it. It’s one room, dude.”

“Me too, I hate you too, Birdie,” Kate says. “Just like my brother does.”

“Great, did everyone hear what I—”

“Yes! So now that we all sufficiently hate each other, could you just kiss her and get it over with?” Scud buries his face in Kate’s hair, muffling his words. “I want to get back to sleep.”

I scrunch down under my comforter, cheeks burning.
This is not happening.

As if in direct opposition to Scud’s order, Grey rolls away from me but throws an arm back over my hip. He says no more. The muscles in his body jump and twitch before growing still, which assures me he’s drifted off to sleep. Rhythmic breathing in the room suggests everyone has but me. Sleep calls me, washes over my body like warm water, drawing me under. Right before my lids shut, a shadow moves in the kitchen. I swear a man is standing by the nearer barstool. My eyes widen, and I bolt upright.

Grey moans, pulling his arm away.

My vision strains through the fog of near-sleep and darkness. “Who’s there?” I whisper.

Fenris’ nails click on the hardwood as he comes to my side.

I exhale everything in my lungs. “You scared me to death, boy.” My mind’s playing tricks, my thumb runs over the soft fur on his muzzle. “I don’t know if you can understand me, but you were absolutely stellar tonight. Thanks.”

The dog blinks and sinks to the floor with a sigh.

I lie down, drape a hand off the bed near my dog, and let sleep take over.

• • •

In the morning, I fold the last blanket, tuck it on a shelf in my linen closet, and head in the direction of the bathroom. Everyone left early, leaving me alone in the apartment. Scud’s dad had chores he needed help with. Grey had a Physics class. Kate was going shopping with her mom, Izzy, and Mrs. Bowen. She invited me to go, but I begged off. I didn’t relish more time with Izzy, and after what she’d said that day at her house, I worried Mrs. Mathews might not like me much either.

I scrub the tub and sink before turning my attention to the kitchen. I never knew what a mess four people could make getting ready in a small space—okay, maybe I did, but hadn’t experienced it in a while.

Fenris runs to the door a second before I hear a knock, and when I open it,
voila
, there’s Jeff.

My dog’s front paws hit his chest. “We have to stop meeting like this, Jeffy.”

“You called my cell.” He’s so dead pan, he’d make a perfect straight man in a comedy duo.

“It’s a joke, dude. Come on in.” I leave the door open and walk to the kitchen. “Have a seat. Would you like some coffee? There’s enough left for two cups.”

“No, thank you.” The man never seems to eat or drink—which ranks him even higher on the weirdo-meter. “Tell me what happened last night.”

“Before or after the dog you gave me went all lupine on us?” I prop my hands on my hips and shoot Jeff my best pissed-off stare. “You knew about him, didn’t you? It’s why you wanted me to have him. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to be frightened. I wanted you to get to know him first. I apologize, I waited too long to tell you.”

Uh, yeah.
“You gave me a flippin’ werewolf for a pet!”

“Fenris is not a werewolf. He is an ancient, misunderstood creature, Ms. Orin. Not like the ridiculous portrayals seen in the movies. He is Varou. No friend to Odin and the false gods of Asgard. Father to the wolves, he’s as old as the legends of Svartalfar.”

I rest my hands on my hips. “Svartalfar?” I have no idea what he’s babbling about. The guy talks like he’s from another planet sometimes.

“The dark elves. Yes, or even Dvergar, the dwarves.”

The dog-like creature is sprawled across my bed. I try to work up some sort of awe or reverence, but he looks so silly asleep on his back with all four feet stuck in the air, I can only smile. I’m waiting for Snow White to show up, maybe a Sasquatch, or some vampires for their morning Bloody Mary. It’s all too ridiculous.

“Fenris has agreed to help me … us … at Gunnarr Blot this year,” Jeff says. “I’m grateful. His assistance is an honor and difficult to obtain, though I’ve been trying for a long time.”

“Uh-huh. You two talk, do you?” I love my dog, but having cleaned up his monster poops, the word ‘honor’ seems a stretch.

“Not in the way you might suppose, but yes, I can communicate with Fenris.”

“Can I do it?” I want to talk to him about his drinking out of the toilet.

“No.”

“Don’t beat around the bush, Jeff, just tell me straight.” He slants his head as if questioning my intelligence. “I get it. I was just kidd … oh, never mind.” I scratch my shoulder. “So, a real live, honest to goodness myth come to life, huh? What about the other stuff? Elves and dwarves, are they real, too?”

“Would you believe me if I said yes?”

“Probably not.”

He folds his arms like he’s just won a point for the debate team.

“Okay, well, why is he helping us now, and what about you? Are you ever going to tell me who you really are?”

“Me? One day. As for Fenris, you actually had a lot to do with his decision. He has a weakness for females.” Fenris lifts his head. “Few women have taken the role of Wielder. Eleven in fact, though he seems especially attached to you …” Fenris growls, and Jeff and my dog regard one another.

Now they’re just showing off.

Jeff nods and faces me. “Moving on, I’d like to discuss your living situation. Although Fenris is formidable protection from Haddr, I wonder if it’s wise for you to remain in your apartment. Perhaps it would be better if you moved in with me.”

I push out my bottom lip. “I just got this place and spent
your
money on furniture and a non-refundable pet deposit. I don’t know if I’m ready to give that up.”

Jeff levels his gaze and meets mine. “Eventually, you will have to leave. Haddr is searching for you, Ms. Orin.”

“But he doesn’t know where I live.”

The frown suggests Jeff knows this. “From events you explained in your hysterical voice mail, your bond with Alarr is exceptional.”

Hysterical?
Okay, maybe a little.

“To control the wind as you have, with minimal training, is most impressive. We will continue to train, but we must work hard if you are to be ready.”

After last night, I can’t help but agree. The strength of Alarr sharpened my senses and made me powerful—something I’ve never been. I admit to better understanding those who’ve been seduced by that kind of power.

“All right, let’s go.” I toss my dishtowel in the sink. “Grey will have to squeeze in his practice around school—Mondays and Wednesdays are his busy days, with three classes each, but you can push me as hard as you like. I want to take this guy down. If it’s a fight he wants, then I say let’s give him one.

14

iPod headphones blast downloaded Push songs into my brain. I dance around in front of my bathroom mirror to the fantastic beat as Grey’s voice keeps me in a state of musical utopia. If I had any misgivings about him and me sharing the same taste in music—which is frankly something I never considered important—I have no worries now.

The concert at the Fox starts at eight. Only half an hour until Grey’s due to pick me up. Since he drives me everywhere anyway, I decided to put off buying a car until after the anniversary of Gunnarr Blot—especially as there’s every possibility I could die.

Dead people don’t drive Shelby Cobras.

A break between songs allows me time to apply the finishing touches on my makeup. I stare at my refection, unsure of the results. My Nordic locks hang in ringlets over my shoulders and bounce when I do. The blond shade compliments the gold in my silk, chiffon dress I’ve paired with Badgley Mischka’s bow back pumps. Grey’s stature makes the added height of heels a non-issue. I consider wearing leggings but decide against it as the hem of my dress is just long enough to cover the nasty, blue-black bruise I received during practice.

A ballad begins, Grey’s voice captivating my ears. Privileged to know the person capable of such vocal magic, I lean against the bathroom door and close my eyes. Three minutes and twenty-one seconds later, I claim Push as my new favorite band.

Another song starts, fast with a throbbing tempo. I step to the mirror, butt shimmying to the beat. Doesn’t matter that I don’t know the words, I grab my hairbrush and sing into the bristles anyway. The counter is a monumental disaster. Makeup, perfume and accessories get tossed in a travel case as I booty dance.

My peripheral vision catches something dark in the mirror, and I almost topple over in my spin to face Grey in the bathroom doorway.

I swallow air and cough. He’s grinning like a drunkard while I turn four shades of crimson and stammer, “How … when … ?”

His lips move, but I can’t hear him. He leans over and pulls an earbud from my ear. “I knocked, but when you didn’t answer, I let myself in.”

“Oh.”
Crap.
I had the music up too loud to hear him. “Sorry.” My cheeks are on fire, and my heart races. I assume he saw me dancing like an idiot and heard me singing, too. No. Sing isn’t a fair word to describe my attempts—more like the warble of a dying crow—and Mr. Golden Pipes just heard that. I want to disappear.

He’s still smiling.

“Oh, knock it off.” I blow past him toward the kitchen. My heart still thunders in my chest.

He grabs my arm, crooks his finger indicating he wants my iPod. “Sorry, but I have to know what could make you move like that.”

My head shakes so hard my curls whip around and stick to my lip gloss. “No.”

He breaks out laughing and lunges for the iPod. “Give it here, girl.”

I’ll die if he discovers it’s his band I’m listening to. “Let it go, dude.” I hold my iPod in the opposite hand and stretch my arm as far from him as I can. “You weren’t supposed to see that. No one’s supposed to see that … embarrassing …
Sheez
.” A fresh wave of heat erupts under my skin.

“Embarrassing?” He reaches over me and snatches my music away, popping an earpiece into his head and grinning wider. “That’s not how I’d describe what you were doing. Ooh, baby, you can shake that thang!”

“Whatever.” I stomp off so mad I can’t see straight. “Make fun of me. I don’t care. I’m used to it.” I grab my purse and coat from the nearby barstool and squat to say goodnight to Fenris.

Grey peeks around the corner of the kitchen wall. He puts the iPod on the counter and nods. “I’m not making fun of you, Birdie. I’m happy I could evoke such an … um … response. That’s a side of you I haven’t seen.” He isn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes twinkle like he might.

• • •

The first person I spot when I enter the lobby of the Fox is Izzy.
Perfect.
Conspicuous in a luscious red dress, her matching lips move in conversation as her brother, Dylan, throws his head back and laughs beside her. A little to the right, near the stairs, Scud and Kate bend their heads together, deep in conversation. The pair’s faces are solemn, and they’re both dressed in black.

My muscles tense seeing them again, and I wonder if the color of the clothes they wear makes a statement. Did they change their minds about my exposing Grey to harm, or thinking I’m bad for him, or a freak? My step slows, but Grey tows me along by my hand.

“I guess they let just about anybody in here,” Grey says.

Scud’s face splits into a big grin.

“Obviously.” Izzy smiles her plastic smile.

I’m so glad I came.

“Let’s get to our seats.” Dylan throws his sister a scowl before coming over and taking my arm.

We walk up the steps to the auditorium. Above us, the ceiling is painted to resemble the night’s sky, stunning and realistic, exactly the scene from my dream.

In a moment of panic, I glance down to make sure I have clothes on.

I let out a breath of relief. I do.

Dylan extends his hand to let me step down the row first. I pass Kate and Scud to sit on her left as Dylan takes the seat in between Izzy and me. I struggle to hide my disappointment when Grey’s forced to sit on the other end beside Izzy.

Stop it, Birdie.

How can I complain? I’m sitting in a gorgeous dress, next to a cute guy, in a fancy theatre, when not too long ago, I ate cat food from a can with a plastic spoon.

“So,” Dylan says. “Kate tells me you like music.”

“I’m not educated about music the way you guys are, not beyond what I like and don’t like.” I look past Dylan to Grey, who’s speaking to Izzy. His smile sends my pulse into overdrive.

“I can’t wait for Ray’s opening act, Brian Wright. His voice is amazing,” Dylan continues.

I try to refocus on him. “I only started listening to him this past week. Ever since Kate told me he was playing tonight. I like his stuff, though.” I shrug. “Guess I’m learning.”

“Kate says you’re curious about Push, too.” Dylan says. “What do you think of our music?”

“Truthfully? I think you’re all brilliant and should be totally famous, and on the radio, or playing the Super Bowl halftime … something big.”

“Thanks.” He lifts one eyebrow. “Hey, do you mean all of us … or one of us?”

“Aw, Dylan. I think everyone has the wrong idea.” I glance over at Izzy who is giggling at something Grey said. My stomach churns at the sight, but I’ve got no right to think any jealous thoughts. He’s going to end up happily ever after with someone else anyway.
I’m Jane Doe. I’m Jane Doe … I’m Jane Doe.

Dylan twists his neck, following my gaze. “Really? What wrong idea is that?”

“Your sister and everyone else seem to think we’re, you know …
a thing.
” My eyes dart the opposite direction. On my left, Scud takes Kate’s hand. “But we’re not. We’re just friends … honestly.”

Dylan shakes his head and slumps back in his seat. His lips pull up on one side in a smirk.

“What?” I lean toward him.

“Nothing, never mind.” He bites his thumbnail.

“You know I’m serious, right? We met by accident. He gave me a ride, and we have a few things in common.”
Very few.
“That’s all.”

He prods me in the arm with a finger. “That’s all, huh?”

I don’t like the direction our talk has taken, so I roll my eyes and take a stab at nonchalance. “Alright, I admit he’s pretty cool. I’m having a good time, but not only with Grey, with all of you … while it lasts. Then, you know, we’ll move on.”

“You talk like it has to end.”

I glance again at Izzy and lower my voice to a whisper. “I’m not trying to step on anybody’s toes, ya know? I think your sister has some prior claim anyway.” I play with the strap on my purse and hide the fact that last sentence slices my heart like razor wire.

“You’ve surrounded yourself with a lot of careful answers, don’t you think?”

I’m knocked off balance by his blunt observation. “I uh, I’m not sure what you mean?”

“I mean … maybe you don’t always have to be quite so careful.”

• • •

White marble covers the floor in the ladies’ room while gold, Italianate molding adorns everything else. Paid attendants hand out towels, soap, and lotion—whatever anybody needs. I stand in front of a mirror, reapplying my lip gloss when Kate comes out of the stall wearing a dreamy grin.

“Hey, Kate. Are you having a good time?” I ask her reflection behind me.

She smiles bigger. The crystal lighting overhead makes her eyes all but glitter.

“How’s Scud doing?”

I pivot toward her. She jiggles the bracelet on her arm, fidgets as she cuts her eyes to the only other guest in the bathroom. A thirty-something year old, blond woman washes her hands, filling the air with a clean, citrus scent, before drying off and exiting.

“Okay,” I whisper. “All clear, now dish. Things seem different with you and Scud. Are they?”

“Yes.” When she eyes the attendant, Kate tugs on my arm. We move away and stand in front of the stall at the other end of the room. She lowers her voice. “Our relationship’s totally changed since, you know, last night, and everything that happened at your house.”

“I’m super happy for both of you, girl. You two are the cutest couple ever.”
Did I just say that? I sound like a preppy cheerleader.
Next, I’ll ask her to be my BFF and dot my I’s with little hearts—not.
Yet I can’t contain my excitement for her. “What happened? You don’t have to tell me … unless you
want
to? I mean, I want to hear, unless—”

She laughs. “Of course I’ll tell you.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder and leans against the counter. Her smile fades. “I’ll be honest, Bird. I got scared last night. Really scared, I thought I might be robbed, raped, killed … whatever else you can think of. You probably think I’m a big baby.”

“No, Kate, I don’t. It
was
scary. I put us in danger.” My hand stretches out to squeeze her arm. “It’s all my fault, I’m so sorry.”

“Shush, stop apologizing. Nothing’s your fault. It’s awesome the way you’re trying to help people.” She waves a hand. “So, anyway, let me finish telling you what happened. Scud came to see me today. Turns out he got scared, too. Told me he’s had feelings for me for a long time and just didn’t realize. But that night, when he thought he might lose me, everything changed. Bird, he said he loves me, always has.” Her grin lights up the powder room. “Can you believe this is happening? I’m so happy.”

She throws her arms around me and hugs me tight. I don’t seize up, but I’m slow to hug her back, and pat her shoulder in an awkward attempt to reciprocate. When she pulls away, her eyes are all misty. I’m
not
going to cry with her.

“And I’m happy for you, too. I’ve been rooting for you guys, you know?”

“You have?” Her big blue eyes get wider.

“Yeah. I think everyone knew but the two of you.” I lift my palm and wave my other hand over it, miming a fortune teller with her crystal ball. “I predict your life is going to be good. You’re going to be deliriously happy, and no one deserves it more.”

“Thanks! It’s great. And, oh my gosh, he’s the best kisser! He does this thing …”

TMI.

The lights in the bathroom flash twice.

“Oops, they’re starting,” Kate says. “We better get back.”

Intermission’s over. Thank goodness.
“I’ll be right there. I’m going to try this lotion first.”

“Okay.” She waves and bounces out the door, leaving me alone.

I pump some creamy white lotion that smells like vanilla into my hand and rub it into my skin. A stall door opens behind me, and Izzy saunters out. My senses jolt. I hadn’t seen her come in and had no idea she’d been skulking around, listening.
Darn her.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the resourceful Ms. Orin. The ladies room’s been a wealth of information tonight.”

My tongue feels swollen as I try to speak. “Izzy?” The question is stupid. I know it’s her. I just can’t believe how sloppy I’ve become.

“Surprise!” She raises both arms and does a quick ‘jazz hands’ for me. “We don’t have much time, so I’ll make this quick. Though I’m still figuring out the details, from what I overheard, you’re in serious trouble. Then you exposed Kate to that trouble. Am I getting warm? You gave me what I need to finish you off and serve you on a platter, honey—even faster than I’d hoped. Thanks.”

The poison expanding my tongue reaches my brain. The useless pile of macaroni up there produces no idea, thought or pithy comeback. I stand and stare as if I’ve been frozen in a block of ice.

“You don’t need to explain,” Izzy says. “I can crack Kate open in less time than it takes to bust an eggshell.” She snaps her fingers with an exaggerated head bob.

Your swag needs work, Iz.

“Here’s my proposal, and you let me know if I use too many big words, okay? I’ll drop the whole thing. I won’t ask a single question. I won’t talk to Kate’s heartbroken and still grieving parents. I won’t share my concerns about what an unsuitable, even dangerous friend you are for their kids. And all you have to do is vanish.”

“Vanish?” I sound like a mindless parrot.

“See there,” Izzy says, “it’s a vocabulary issue. Maybe if I talk slower …” She leans in close. “Go back where you came from, and leave us alone.” She over enunciates each word for emphasis. “I don’t care what excuse you come up with. Just. Go. Away.”

Without waiting for an answer, she sashays past me and disappears out the door. I turn and look at my reflection.

What the hell is wrong with you? You just stood there.

The girl in the mirror doesn’t answer, but vocabulary is not the problem. Thank Mr. Bernie Dixon and the Fun Family Fact Game for that. Words pop into my head that wouldn’t a moment before. There’s contemptible, unscrupulous and vindictive, but honestly, I prefer Scab, Ho and Biotch.

• • •

On the apartment across the street, the windows wink and sparkle, reflecting my building and the sunny day. The cloudless blue sky looks like something from a Hallmark card, but I’m not happy.