Cry Wolf (15 page)

“What about you, morsel?” Damien asked, grinning. “I noticed you left yourself off the off limits list.”

“I thought it went without saying,” Renee said. “Do I need to write up a contract? Because Ki and I can whip that up for you.”

“I was just playing,” Damien said. “I never had any intention to interfere with you or your charges. Scout’s honour.”

“And you have control over your pack to hold them to the same agreement?” Renee asked.

“Oh, believe me, my pack obeys me,” Damien said, countenance darkening.

“Kelly, can I talk to you?” Renee asked, looking away from Damien.

“He’ll be able to hear us,” Kelly replied as Renee led them out of the loosely formed circle.

“That’s all right,” Renee said. “What do you know about this alpha? Can we trust him?”

Kelly glanced over at Damien, who waited patiently for her answer.

“He’s telling the truth, which could mean that he’s trustworthy or that he’s psychotic and believes what he says, even if he abruptly changes his mind later,” Kelly said. “All I know about him is from his reputation, and that’s as a fighter. That could be a good thing, because it means he never developed a bad reputation the way Grant did.”

“Do you trust him?” Renee asked.

Kelly only had to think a few seconds. “Yes. I get a generally good feeling. Regardless of what you think about the average werewolf diet, most of us aren’t intrinsically bad people, Renee. Grant was truly an exception.”

Renee touched Kelly’s wrist lightly but didn’t take her hand. “Do you want to go with them?”

“What?”

“If you trust him, why are you hesitating? Be honest, Kelly, this was only temporary,” Renee said. Her eyes were clear blue and intelligent when she let Kelly look directly into them. “You came here because you didn’t know where else to go. I would have let you stay here the rest of your long life. You know that. But we both know this isn’t where you belong.”

Kelly went quiet, not just in her silence—her body became very still. Renee, of course, had put a finger right on the thrumming pulse of the truth.

If it had been just her, the decision to go back to her pack might have been easier. Damien had already impressed her as a decent sort of alpha. Her life as a werewolf didn’t need to be as it had been with David. She could truly start over.

Her hesitation at this point wasn’t so much for herself.

“You’re right,” Kelly said. “I think I could belong with them.”

“That’s how I made my choice to not to go with Grant. No matter how bad the rest of the world is for me the way I still am, I belong here,” Renee said quietly.

“You made your choice knowing that you could make your world better in time,” Kelly said. “I think I could, too. But… I guess whatever I decide depends on Malcolm, and right now he’s not in a place where he wants to join the pack. At least let them stay around a little while longer to see if Malcolm wants to come along. I don’t want to just abandon him without knowing things will be okay. If I leave, I’ll be too far to run back in time to stop something bad from happening.”

Renee nodded. “All right.”

She left Kelly’s side and returned to Damian. “You and your pack can stay, but I do have to ask you to minimise your time and your numbers on the property. You’ll scare the dogs.”

Damien held out his hand to shake in agreement. Jake’s grip on the gun tightened and Renee held back, not out of fear of an attack but because she was leery to touch someone she didn’t know. But she reached out and took his hand. Damien stayed gentle, which Kelly appreciated.

“I don’t suppose I get a say in this,” Malcolm said.

“No,” Renee said. “You get to choose to stay or go. But it’s my decision to let
them
stay.”

“And that decision ended so well last time,” Malcolm said.

“That’s not fair,” Jake said, advancing.

“No?” Malcolm snarled, stopping Jake in his tracks. “It’s easy for you to say, Jake. Grant didn’t come after you. He didn’t bite you, he didn’t bite Britt and he didn’t bite Renee, all the people
you
care about. He bit
me
because he was making a point to
her
.”

Renee swallowed, but her eyes remained dry. “Like I said, you get to choose to stay or go. I’m not making you do one thing or the other. If Kelly thinks it’s okay for them to stay, I trust her judgement. I thought you did, too. Are we done here?” she asked Damien.

“If you are,” Damien said, nodding to his pack, who slowly relaxed. “We’ll head out of the sanctuary so you can let the dogs out. Kelly will know where to find us.”

Kelly nodded at Lily and Tanya as the pack started to leave the compound. Tanya smiled—Lily didn’t, but she rarely did. The male beta was the last to change and make his way into the forest. In spite of his hard face, she sensed no aggression in him.

In fact, as far as she could tell, Jada, Jeremy and Stephanie were the only ones with a history of aggressive tendencies—aside from the alpha, naturally. However, it was beneficial for a pack to have a few aggressives. Like a soldier carrying a few grenades in his arsenal.

Damien’s collection was a smart one, though unusual.

Kelly turned to Malcolm, who was still sulking quite unattractively. Kelly reminded herself that anger was closer to the surface of a new wolf, like a teenager. She had to be patient.

“You were doing so well,” Kelly said. “Have you ever given some thought about maybe moving past what happened to you a few months ago and working with what you got?”

“Gee, that never occurred to me, Kelly,” Malcolm replied. “You’ve definitely given me some food for thought.”

“There’s no need to be surly. All she’s done is try to help you, and all Renee’s done is not kick you out,” Max said.

“No one asked you!” Malcolm roared, whirling around to yell at Max. But Ki was there, too, her eyes fearful and reproachful, and Malcolm reeled back, half changed.

“Run,” Kelly whispered, her command reaching his sensitive ears.

His feet dug into the ground until they became paws and had better traction. He fled before he could do any more damage. Ki’s pain was evident at the sight of Malcolm changing in the daylight, now that she could really see what Malcolm was.

“I have to apologise,” Kelly said, touching Ki’s shoulder.

“Why?” Ki asked.

“You’re not the one having problems,” Max added.

“Malcolm’s never met an alpha,” Kelly said, “and that can sometimes cause some friction. Malcolm’s ambivalence about his lycanthropy mixing with his close temper… It was an already volatile situation. I should have prepared him better for it.”

“You tried,” Ki said. “You told him to brace himself.”

“I could have done more. But at least next time he’ll know what to expect,” Kelly said, rubbing her eyes. Juggling pack dynamics and a new wolf’s outbursts was tiresome.

Britt had changed back, and she was talking softly with Renee and stroking her arms. Renee was shaking, but her demeanour remained resolute. Jake still looked alert, but he had set down the gun.

Max tried to put his arm around Ki again to comfort her. She shrugged him off, not unkindly. She was just upset. Kelly wished that she could reassure Max with more than the commiserating look that they shared.

Kelly passed by him to tell Renee, “The wolves are out of the sanctuary.”

Renee nodded. Kelly headed to her trailer to shed her robe and go after Malcolm.

* * * *

Malcolm changed back into a man and faced her, parts of the wolf lingering. “Stop following me!”

“You want a real fight?” Kelly asked, holding her arms open as though she were asking for an embrace. “Come on. You can do whatever you want.”

“Stop doing that!” Malcolm screamed, literally tearing at his hair. Tufts of it came out in his hands. “Stop trying to bring the wolf out. I don’t know how much clearer I can be. I want no part of it, none. I don’t want to fight you again, and you can’t trick me into it like last time.”

“It’s no use,” Kelly said. “You’ve already seen what happens when you try to ignore it.”

“This isn’t the man I was, nor is it the man I would
ever
wish to be,” Malcolm said. He practically vibrated with anger, but he looked tired, tired of going over the same path over and over again.

“Malcolm, I want you to listen to me,” Kelly said sternly. “I’m sorry to destroy any illusions, but this
is
the man you were.”

She swept her hands through the air down the line of her body then gestured to his, the whole man. “There’s a beast in all of us. If they’re lucky, humans never have to know it’s there. But that’s what a werewolf is. Whatever you are, whatever anger you feel, whatever fight you feel you need to have, this is what you always were. The werewolf merely brings the monster to the surface.”

Her claws grew and her teeth went sharp, partially out of frustration with him, but also from self-frustration and shame that what she was saying was true. To look in a mirror and see the wolf and know it was as much her as the woman… That kind of knowledge was overrated. But Malcolm needed to hear it.

“You are the man who takes care of his partner,” Kelly said, speaking more gently. “You are the man who takes care of those in your charge. You’re still that man, which is why you could”—she swallowed before she could manage to say it—“make love to me and why you should be able to be that man with Ki. But you also carry all this anger and self-loathing and violence, because you always did. The beast who fucked me in the forest is the same beast you were before, but now it’s been brought out as strongly as the man you were.
This
is what people are, Malcolm. This is what they really are.”

She approached him, and although every inch of him quivered with tension, he didn’t run from her again.

“We can’t put on the mask like they can. We can’t pretend we’re civilised. But strip away all the trappings of civility and what do you have? It’s no wonder we fuck well. And it’s no wonder we want human flesh and blood. In the end, humans want nothing more than to consume each other. They cannibalize themselves in more acceptable ways, but our transformation makes us the predators that humans can’t be. And we’re allowed to enjoy every freaking minute of it if we let ourselves. I choose what I allow. I don’t eat humans, but that doesn’t stop the desire to do so.”

Kelly ran the tips of her claws over Malcolm’s chest, catching on his nipples and making him twitch, but he still didn’t back away.

“So,” she concluded, with an edge of a growl in her voice, “when I tell you to fight me, it’s because I
want
you to.”

Malcolm bared his mouthful of lupine fangs, but not from anger. Not anymore. Her words sank in and what she offered was too tempting for him to refuse.

“Come at me,” she whispered, raising her arm to rake her claws over his chest.

He didn’t allow her to get that close. He batted her wrist down and came at her.

She didn’t yield the fight.

By the time they were done, they were a collapsed collection of human body parts, still assembled but appearing random with the way they had contorted themselves.

“I want you to run until you’re near exhaustion tomorrow before you go in to Ki,” Kelly said, thoroughly satisfied and replete. “Do you have any objections?”

“I think you have a dismal view of human beings,” Malcolm said. He panted against her calf. “But yes. Sounds like a plan.”

“For a man older than me, you’re surprisingly naïve,” Kelly replied. “I only say what I know, what I see. I have a distinct advantage in that arena.”

“Maybe,” Malcolm said.

“And you’re the one with the dismal view of werewolves.”

That should give him something to think about.

Chapter Six

In spite of the events of the day before, Kelly noted Malcolm was in a significantly better mood at breakfast again, and he ran all afternoon. He stopped by Kelly’s trailer after he’d finished his run, but Kelly didn’t answer the door. She pretended she was asleep like a teenage girl. She smelt his gratitude the way she smelt the forest through the open window.

In spite of her efforts to stay no more than friendly, she had no wish for him to thank her for making him more palatable to another woman.

Ki was a wonderful girl. Like Max, she really
tried
for Malcolm. Kelly didn’t think it was enough. They couldn’t accept all of him any more than he could right now, which wasn’t helping. But Kelly should know better than to believe Malcolm wanted her for anything other than simply satisfying the werewolf. It was understandable for Malcolm to get attached to her, just as it was understandable for her to get attached to him, the only two werewolves in the sanctuary. However, it could never be anything more, not when Malcolm couldn’t embrace the same part of himself that was also in her.

“You are truly an idiot,” Kelly whispered to herself. She pulled her sheets over her head.

When her eyes closed, she saw Malcolm and Ki meeting alone together for dinner. Kelly couldn’t hide a slight smile, though, when she saw that
Ki had made herself a stew and cooked Malcolm a very rare steak
.

“This is ridiculous,” Kelly said, throwing back the sheets and forcing herself up. Butch Cassidy was still out doing whatever mischief he could before ten, which was usually when he came back in through the open bedroom window. It meant that her trailer was an icebox until she returned, but if Butch Cassidy got too cold, he could just crawl underneath the two quilts that Kelly kept at the foot of the bed for him. She was nothing if not a cat spoiler.

As
Ki got her first tentative taste of werewolf in a kiss—which was far better than how he smelt, a constant olfactory assault of
danger
that she had to ignore as best as she could
—Kelly walked into the forest. Her effort to put distance between herself and what was going on between Ki and Malcolm was as pointless as Renee attempting to get drunk. Her psychic abilities were extensive but unskilled. She usually didn’t make a point to peek in on other people, so she didn’t have the experience to take a more nuanced approach when she actually did.

This made it a little better, letting the forest swallow her in its sensory feast, the crackle of leaves, grass and twigs, the crunch of snow, creaking branches, the breeze rustling tenacious leaves and needles. Kelly tried treating the psychic channel as white noise. She focused instead on the swirl of the breeze over her naked body, the way it caressed her, and not on the faint sound of moaning in her head and the sense of other wary eyes on the couple.