Ctrl Z (14 page)

Still awake. Haven’t gotten home yet. Walking.
She
held her breath as she added the rest.
Can we talk?

Indigo chewed her lip, waiting for his answer.

Where are you?

A tremulous smile pulled at her lips, and she stopped on the
snowy sidewalk.

Just passing the park near the bridge. Heading to the
subway.

Jude’s answer was immediate.

Wait there. I’m coming.

She felt her chest ease for the first time since she’d
looked up and saw Jude watching her and Cal kissing.

I’m sorry.

Indigo hit send before she could change her mind, then
waited, counting the seconds.

Jude didn’t answer.

The lump in her throat returning, Indigo began to pace. She
knew there was relative safety in the light of the streetlamps but she still
found herself jumping at every noise. She didn’t trust that the night’s
misfortunes were over. And Jude might be coming for her, but he was angry.

She was certain of that.

Twenty minutes later, she heard the roar of an engine. A red
sportscar sped up, skidding to a stop on the icy street. Indigo peered in the
window, catching sight of Jude, unsmiling, in the driver’s seat. She pulled
open the door and climbed in.

“Nice ride,” she said cautiously, taking in the leather
interior and chrome detailing. “I didn’t know you had a car.”

“I don’t,” Jude muttered, pulling away from the curb before
she’d even tugged her seatbelt across her hips. “It’s Marq’s. I borrowed it.”

“Oh.”

She peeked at him as Jude slammed the car into gear,
swerving through the darkened streets, brooding and silent. For a long while,
neither spoke. Even the radio was turned off, the only sounds the thud of
cracks in the pavement, the hiss of wind, and the random noises of the
night-time city.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Indigo said.

Jude’s jaw tensed.

“Start by not kissing other guys,” he retorted. “That’d
help.”

“He’s not just another guy. We were together for almost a
year.”

Jude’s eyes jumped over, loathing twisting his features.

“He’s twice your age!”

“I know,” she said, wincing. “But I… I thought I loved him.”

“Woodrow’s a prof.” She could hear the accusation and
disgust in his tone.

“I know that too.”

“Were you in his class?”

“No,” Indigo admitted, “though he was married when we were together.
We screwed around, and things got messy… and... and he left me.” She swallowed
hard, forcing her voice to stay even. If she could play the role for Cal, she
could certainly play it for Jude. “Tonight I was upset, and Cal was there,
asking to get back together, and he kissed me, and…” She took another peek at
him. Jude was staring straight ahead, face tight, though a muscle in his jaw
was jumping. “And I let him.”

Jude was quiet for a long time, his face expressionless,
though the knuckles on his hands were white. In the hours before dawn, the sky
was an inky black, the streets barren. When they reached the road leading to
Indigo’s apartment, Jude slowed down, pulling into an empty spot near the front
doors. He put the car into park, not moving.

“Are you gonna say something?” Indigo whispered.

He let out a weary sigh, rubbing his hand over his face.
“Thank you for telling me, I guess,” Jude said.

For some reason, those words brought angry tears to her
eyes. She glared at him, blinking them away.

“Stop it!” she hissed.

“Stop
what?”

“Stop this! YOU!” she snapped. “Stop being so nice to me!”

Jude stared at her, annoyance deepening the lines of his
face.

“That’s a fucked up thing to say!”

“I… I can’t do this with you,” she said, reaching for the
door handle. “I don’t
get
you!”

Jude was faster.

 He caught hold of her fingers. He wasn’t hurting her,
as Cal would have, but he didn’t let go either.

“No,” he said. “You
don’t
get to walk away!” He held
her gaze, his expression hovering between fury and pain, the combination so
inexplicably comforting she had to blink back tears. “I came back tonight,
alright?” Jude growled. “That
means
something!”

Indigo slumped in her seat, fingers going limp in his.

“You should walk away, Jude, and never look back,” she said,
her eyes on the empty street. “You’re too nice for a girl like me.”

He reached out, turning her chin so that she looked at him.
His eyes glittered angrily, his mouth a slash.

“I’m more fucked up than you are,” he said. “I promise you
that!”

“No,” she said sadly. “You’re not.”

“Yes, Indigo,” he said, letting go of her wrist so he pull
her nearer. “I really am.”

His mouth was only a breath away, his eyes heavy-lidded, but
she put a hand against his chest, stopping him before he could kiss her.
Shireese was right. This couldn’t go on forever.

“Come with me tomorrow,” Indigo said. “Help me film. And
I’ll show you why you’re wrong.”

She’d give him some of the truth, and decide on the rest
later.

: : :
: : : : : : :

Officer Brodie’s shift ended just after dawn. He had
breakfast with two of the other officers, as was his routine, then drove toward
the suburbs while the sun rose, a golden disc in the sky. He veered west,
following the gravelled side streets until he reached the Mazda dealership.
There, he met up with the morning staff, flashing a badge and a smile as he
requested to see their closed-circuit footage from the previous night.

They complied without question.

He was able to get the make and model of the car – an older Matrix
– along with a rough description of the man driving. From there, Brodie headed
across the road to “Now or Never,” following the same routine. Their cameras
were much more helpful. In seconds, he had the complete license plate number
and a print-out of a single frame, showing a young man standing inside the
phone booth.

License number in hand, he walked out to the police cruiser,
typing the plate into the registration database. Brodie now had a name – Elliot
Baird – along with Elliot’s address. He searched for any police records. His
face grew concerned at the
lack
of information. Elliot Justin Baird, age
twenty-eight, had no priors. In fact, he didn’t even have any parking tickets.
He was just a good kid trying to do the right thing. Guilt rising, Brodie took
a slow breath, forcing himself to think of his
own
boys. Brodie might
feel guilty for what he was about to do to this man, but not enough to risk his
own children.

His final stop was at a small watch-repair shop downtown. As
soon as he walked in, the man behind the counter put a “back in ten minutes”
sign up on the door, pulling the mesh grate across the front of the store.
Brodie dialled the private number, his eyes on the street. His boys would be
getting up soon, and he wanted to be home in time to drop them off at school.

“Hello?” He didn’t recognize the voice, and was glad.
Anonymity made it easier.

“This is Brodie,” he said. “I have some information for
King.”

Jude tapped on the door of Marq’s room, pushing the door
open and peeking inside. Marq was sprawled across the bed, fully clothed, his
wallet and keys laying on the bedside table.

“Hey Marq,” Jude said. “You awake yet?”

“Mmmph… sleeping,” he grumbled.

“Marq?”

This time he rolled over, yawning.

“Whassup Jude?”

Marq’s eyes were bloodshot, his cheek wrinkled from the
pillow. Jude had heard him come in after four, but he didn’t know if he’d gone
to sleep right away or not. It was nearly noon now, and Jude had agreed to meet
up with Indigo at 12:30. He didn’t want to have to take the train today unless
he had to. He was still pissed at Marq for dragging him out to The Vault, and
he figured Marq owed him.

“Can I borrow your car again?”

“Sure,” Marq yawned. “What for?”

“I’ve got plans,” Jude said noncommittally.

The shorter this show-and-tell, the better. He’d barely
slept last night, his mind trapped in an endless cycle of resentment and pain.
He didn’t
know
what was going on with him and Indigo anymore, and that
bothered him more than anything. He needed to talk to Elliot, but he didn’t
have any idea how to rebuild that bridge.

“Plans?”

“A school project,” Jude said. “A student asked me for some
tech help.”

Marq put his hands behind his head, grinning. “This that
girlfriend of yours?”

For a moment he flickered to the moment in the car when he’d
tried
to kiss her.

“Don’t have a girlfriend,” Jude grumbled.

“Yeah, you do,” Marq laughed.

Jude glared at him.

“Y’know who I mean,” Marq said. “That chick you keep going
for coffee with.”

Jude clenched his teeth until they ached, forcing his words
to be calm. He’d spent half the night trying to figure out
what
he was
to Indigo Sykes. He was
something
, but after seeing her draped all over
Woodrow, he knew ‘boyfriend’ wasn’t it.

“She’s
not
my anything,” he snapped, anger from last
night spilling out like an over-full cup.. “Not that it’s any of your fucking
business.” He gestured to the keys. “So can I borrow your car or not?”

 “Go ahead,” Marq said. “No problem.”

He reached out, pulling the keys from the table. Jude
expected Marq to toss them, but he didn’t. Instead he lay in bed, fiddling with
the keychain.

“You should buy a car sometime,” Marq mused, “You’ve got the
cash now.”

 “I’m saving the money from this job,” Jude grumbled.
“Finishing it up, and getting out.”

Marq propped himself up on his elbows, squinting.

“Why in the world would you do that?”

“This can’t go on forever,” Jude answered sourly.
“Someone’ll notice. Someone’ll turn us in. Gotta get out while we can.” He
winced, recognizing Elliot’s warning.

“You worry too much,” Marq chuckled.

Jude sighed, lifting his phone from his pocket, and checking
the time:
12:04 p.m.
He was going to be late.

“You do what you need to do, but I’m done.”

Marq began to laugh. He flopped back against the mattress,
tossing the keys in the air and catching them.

“You never gave a rat’s ass about shit like this before,” he
taunted. “I remember you fucking around with the university grading program
back in third year. Told me it was for the greater good.” He smirked. “No Jude,
this is your
girlfriend
talking, not you.”

Jude stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Forget the goddamn car,” he barked. “I’ll take the train.”

“Oh, c’mon, Jude!” Marq whined. “I was just joking, man. I
swear!” Jude headed to the foyer, pulling on his shoes. Marq came out of the
bedroom just as he unlocked the front door. Marq had one hand pressed against
his temple, the keys held out before him, a grin on his face. “Don’t be such a
bitch about it,” Marq laughed, jangling keys at him. “I’m just sayin’ ‘
bros
before hoes’
!”

Jude snatched the keys from his fingers.

“Fuck off, Marq,” he snapped. “You’re not funny!” He slammed
the front door on the way out.

He needed to deal with Indigo, and then he needed to find a
new place to live.

: : :
: : : : : : :

Indigo was waiting on the front steps when Jude arrived. She
had a small backpack next to her leg, a camera in hand. She turned it off when
he pulled to a stop, putting it into her bag and walking to the car. Dressed in
blue jeans, a black tee, leather jacket and boots, Indigo felt more like
herself
this afternoon. She wasn’t playing a role for anyone, and the thought scared
her.

There was safety in being someone else.

The sportscar paused by the curb, but Jude didn’t get out.
Indigo climbed into the passenger seat, dropping her bag on the floor.

“You still want to go?” Jude asked coolly.

She felt herself rankle, worry turning into annoyance. So he
hadn’t
let it go after all.

“If you want to go, then let’s go,” she said indifferently.
“It’s up to you.”

Jude turned away, staring down the street, his hands tight
on the wheel.

“I said I’d help and I will.”

In minutes, they were flying along the ring roads that circled
the edge of the city. Jude didn’t seem to want to talk, so Indigo fiddled with
the car’s mp3 player, connecting it to her iPod and hitting play. The speakers
roared to life, a heavy bass beat of death metal filling the car.

“Turn it down!” Jude yelled, his words muted by the
thunderous sound.

Indigo fumbled with the controls, accidentally switching it
to another song. This one was even louder, bass shuddering the windows. Jude
was yelling, but she couldn’t make out any of the words. Ears crackling, Indigo
finally ripped the phone’s cable out of the car’s dash, swearing. Both of them
broke into laughter, tension broken. Jude glanced over, grinning, and for the
first time that day, Indigo felt herself relax.

“Sorry,” she giggled. “I didn’t realize it’d be so loud.”

“It’s alright,” Jude said. “Didn’t really want my whole
range of hearing anyhow.”

She smirked, plugging in the iPod once more, and lowering
the volume before turning it on. Music filled the car, and the drive continued.

It took them an hour to reach the far eastern edge of the
city. As the highway began to match the curve of the river, Indigo found
herself tensing. She hadn’t been here in years, and she felt like an intruder
as she returned. Reaching the overpass, she pointed up ahead, unable to speak.
It was an older neighbourhood, full of one-level bungalows, common in the
fifties and sixties. Indigo felt her breath catch, seeing them again. The trees
had grown up, but other than that, it was eerily familiar.