Culture Shock (22 page)

Kevin came into the kitchen towel drying his curly hair. His unbuttoned, wrinkled shirt showed evidence of something recently packed in a suitcase. "Boy, Sis, your shower sucks. I've gotten wet faster by fixing leaks."

Alex gestured toward the table. "I know, but no one's in a hurry to fix it. It's not like there's a waiting list of people wanting to rent here."

"Well, I can see why," he said hanging his towel on the coat closet doorknob.

"Sit down and eat. I'm afraid breakfast is almost as dismal as your shower…I guess shopping is going to the top of my priority list.   I’m really sorry, but I'll make sure you get something good for lunch. I hear there’s a great seafood place on the wharf."

Kevin filled his bowl with cereal and hungrily picked up his spoon. "This is great. I haven't had corn flakes in years."

"Really?" Alex raised a brow then recalled his own daily menu. "Coffee?"

"No thanks, I'm not much on the taste."

Neither was Alex, but he'd acquired quite a caffeine habit while on the job. He sat in the other dinette chair. "I thought bachelors lived on boxed and canned foods."

"I'm lucky," Kevin admitted. "I eat at Sara's most of the time. She was so sorry she couldn't come and said to tell you you'd better not bow out on being her maid of honor."

Visions of wedding garb flashed through Alex's mind. Great...chiffon and another pair of feet killers. “When are you getting married?  If you told me, I forgot.”

Kevin swallowed a mouthful. "Next September. You are still planning to come, aren’t you?"

Next year! The vice grip on Alex's gut relaxed. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Come hell or high water, he intended to find a way to get back into his own skin long before a year passed.

"By the way, did you know that old Mrs. Stevens died last month?" Kevin took another bite of cereal.

Alex tensed. He didn't even know the woman, but perhaps condolences would satisfy the conversation. "I'm sorry to hear that. She was such a nice lady."

Kevin pierced him with a glare. "Are you nuts? That old bat.…"

A knock on the door stopped Kevin cold. Thankful for the interruption, Alex opened the door, peered out into the hallway and saw the super. The hair on Alex's arms stood on end. Everything about this man screamed phony.

"Can I help you?" Alex asked, suspicion niggling at the back of his mind.

The super didn't respond. If he wasn't mistaken, Alex believed he detected surprise on the man's face at finding someone at home.

"You wanted something?" Alex prompted.

"I...I just came by to see if your deadbolt is working."

Sure he did. What did he really want? "It's working just fine. See?" Alex clicked the lock open and closed as proof.

"Good," the super muttered as he spun on his heel and hurried down the hallway.

Alex closed the door and turned around.

"Who was that?" Kevin asked. "Strange looking bird from what I glimpsed."

"The building superintendent."

"Does he always hide behind that iceberg some might call a personality?"

"Yeah...and strange isn't the only word to describe him." Alex clucked his tongue against his teeth. If Kevin picked up on something with only one observation, then determination spurred Alex to find out more about the super and what he was hiding.

The same question kept restraining him. How?

Chapter
Eighteen

Kevin lounged against the wall while Alex rapped on the door. When Cynthia answered, she viewed them with wide eyes. "I didn't realize you'd be here so early. I'm not even dressed yet."

Alex fought the urge to laugh at her stubbly face and disarrayed hair, but restrained himself. Instead, he pushed the door open and waltzed past her. "We'll just come in and wait for you. You don't mind, do
ya?"

"N-no, of course not.” Cynthia stuttered. “Why don't you come in
...oh, you are in," she said glibly.

She turned to her brother. "Good Morning, Kevin. Did you sleep well? Have a seat, I'll be ready in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

Kevin's brow rose. "That's funny."

"
What's funny?" Cynthia asked.

"That's the same thing Sis says all the time." He glanced at Alex and smiled. "I haven't heard anyone else use that phrase in a long time."

Cynthia swallowed "Yeah...well...I guess I must be spending too much time with your sister, then."

While the siblings bantered back and forth, Alex scanned his apartment. It looked nothing like when he left it. The place was immaculate. He went to the window and looked down at the street, running a sly finger along the clean sill. "Hey, Alex, did you hire a maid?" he razzed.

"No, I just cleaned up after the pig that used to live here. Quite a difference don't you think?"

"I..." He struggled for a comeback.

"Alex, would you mind if I used your bathroom?"

Thank goodness Kevin erased the need to spar with Cynthia.

She motioned toward the bedroom. "Not at all. It's in the same place as your sister's."

As soon as Kevin left the room, Cynthia marched across and stood toe-to-toe with Alex. "Why don't you channel you energy toward finding a solution to this problem instead of being insulting?" she whispered.

"Me? Insulting? Who called who a pig?"

"Keep your voice down."  She glanced over her shoulder

"You started it," Alex muttered.

"Just let it go!"

He started to walk away and she grabbed his arm. "I've been thinking that we should tell Kevin about this whole thing. I want to come clean with him."

Alex's mouth gaped. "You've got be kidding. What good would come of it?"

"Maybe he could help.  Evidently we need some."

"Sure, and if he can't, maybe he could call in Superman or the Green Hornet," Alex hushed his biting tone.

"You're such an ass."  The man really knew how to get to her. She wanted to lash out, to stomp her feet and cry, but how ridiculous would that look? A macho man throwing a "pity-party". She choked back the lump in her throat. "He's my brother and I want to tell him."

"Tell your brother what?" Kevin asked from the bedroom doorway.

His appearance startled both of them. Cynthia glanced at Alex then back to her brother. "We ... we were just discussing telling him…I mean you, something important."

"Yeah, like what? I’m confused. What does Alex's brother have to do with me?"

She knew what she wanted to say but Alex's opposition kept her from admitting the truth. Lacking an explanation, she flipped her palm in his direction. "You tell him, Cynthia."

Alex gulped, anger thinning his lips. "Kevin...uh...well, I might as well spit it out. Alex has asked me to marry him."

Cynthia sensed the color draining from her face. What was he thinking?

Kevin turned, grabbed Cynthia's hand and gave it a hearty shake. "I knew it! I knew you two were more than friends. Congratulations, Alex."

"Thanks, Kevin." She glared over her brother's shoulder at Alex. "It was quite a surprise to me, too."

Alex wanted to swallow his tongue. Cynthia hadn't left him any choice and it was the only thing he could conjure up in a split second. He cleared the nerves from his throat. "How about we all get out of here and do some sight-seeing."

"Great idea." Kevin was the first to agree. "I'll treat us all to lunch to celebrate your engagement."

Cynthia strolled across the room and placed an arm around Alex's shoulders. "How grand. A celebration. Isn't that wonderful, sweetheart?"

He'd never get used to looking up at himself. He wanted to be Cynthia's sweetheart, but not like this.

"Sure is." He sidled out of Cynthia's embrace and stepped toward the door. "Shall we go?"

The sudden movement reminded him of his earlier toe-against-cedar chest encounter and he tried to keep from limping as he walked into the hallway. Why were things just getting even more complicated? He'd always heard lies came back to bite you, and he prepared himself for the big chunk of his ass that would soon be missing.

***

Crammed in the back of a taxi between Cynthia and Kevin, Alex felt claustrophobic. But the situation was his fault. After a cable car ride, a tour of Pier 39 and lunch on the wharf, he begged off any more sightseeing because of his sore toe.

All he could think of was getting home and kicking off Cynthia’s shoes. He was sick of this charade. The day started off poorly and had only gotten worse.

He'd had to defend himself to Kevin, suffer a stubbed toe, be dragged on a tour of a city he knew all too well, and pretend to be a lady, when all he wanted to do was lean back, let his knees fall apart and take a long cool swig of beer. To top it off, now he was engaged...well, sort of.

When the taxi stopped in front of the building, Kevin paid the fare while Cynthia and Alex got out of the vehicle. Cynthia must have sensed his foul mood; she nudged him. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm you, that's what," he whispered.

"That's nothing new. Don't tell me it's just now getting to you."

"What's getting to me is having to wear your clothes and stupid shoes."

"What's wrong with my shoes?"

"You've gotta be kidding." Alex tossed his head back and raised his arms to the sky. "I hate your friggin' shoes. They're feet killers. How in the hell did you stand them?"

Alex, realizing Cynthia's clenched teeth were not a result of his tirade but an indication that her brother stood next to them, turned and smiled.

Kevin stared at them with a furrowed brow and eyes clouded with confusion. "Wait a minute. I must have missed something."

Knowing he'd blown everything, Alex took a deep breath. "You didn't miss anything, Kevin. I just lost my cool for a minute."

"But why do you hate Alex's shoes...and how do they kill your feet? Did he step on your toe or something?"

Alex blew out a breath. "It's a long story. Can we just forget it?"

"No!" Kevin crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head. "There's something strange going on and you aren't being truthful." He pierced them with a stare. "What is it? I want to know. Things have been more than a little crazy ever since I arrived."

"Okay," Cynthia spoke up. "We'll explain the whole thing to you. Let's go upstairs and get comfortable. Like Alex said, it's a long story."

"Alex didn't say that, you did." Kevin shook his head.

"I know...I know. Let's go up, and we'll explain. But please be open-minded."

***

Cynthia's mind raced overtime while they climbed the stairs to her apartment. How in the world could she explain being locked inside this big, burly body? No doubt, her brother would think her crazier than a loon. Maybe she'd start with something like, 'I'm not who you think I am.'

She unlocked the door and stepped inside. The sun, hovering below the building across the street, provided very little light so she turned on the lamp.

With confusion written all over his face, Kevin followed his sister inside.

She bolstered up all six-foot-two of Alex's frame and faced Kevin. "Sit down, big brother, I believe you'll need to be seated to hear what I have to tell you."

Chapter
Nineteen

Cynthia patted her brother's hand. She'd watched his disbelieving, shocked stare throughout the explanation. "So, there it is in a nutshell. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Kevin rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I think you're making this whole thing up. Or, at least, I hope you are."

"Believe me, neither Alex nor I consider this to be a joking matter. We're locked in each other's bodies with no idea how to get back to our own. We're open to any suggestions you might have."

Kevin flashed a blank stare. "Why not ask for the moon? You're pretty much expecting me to believe the impossible, and as convincing as you make it seem, I still want proof."

Cynthia looked at him and raised her brow. "What kind of proof?"

"An answer…a simple answer that only my sister would know."

"Fair enough," Alex agreed.

Kevin tapped his forehead, appearing to summon a thought. "Okay,
Cyn, remember back when we were just kids and went to Granny and Pop's house for holidays? What happened that one Thanksgiving when she got mad at him?" Kevin faced Alex and waited for an answer.

The event appeared in Cynthia's mind as though it'd happened yesterday and she giggled. "Granny got angry because Pop drank too much wine and instead of emptying the dishpan, she threw soapy water on him. Now, do you believe us?"

Kevin's mouth dropped open. He walked to Cynthia's body, bent and stared into her eyes. He cocked his head and surveyed the face from every angle, then turned and gazed back at the man claiming to be his sister. "So, you're telling me that the person inside this body isn't you, it's Alex?"