Cupcake Couture (41 page)

‘Am I? Really? I’d forgotten for a moment. Is that why I’m pissing all the time and getting fat and craving coal sandwiches and Vimto?’

She sniffed the cigarette and rolled it between her fingers.

‘I don’t smoke it, I just fiddle with it. Something to do with my hands.’

‘Can I have one?’

She handed me the cigarette and took out a second. We fiddled with them in the darkness.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t stop and look at your cakes like. You know me, Chloe, I’m shallow as’ – she glanced at the pool – ‘well more shallow than that. I just get a bit carried away with looking the part sometimes. I’m sure the cakes are canny good and besides, it’s pretty dark in there so even if they’re shite you might get away with it.’

I blinked at her.

‘You won’t solve anything sitting out here like a chuffing gnome in the garden. I think you should come in, pet.’

‘Why? So I can be embarrassed in front of you all?’

‘No, because you have always faced things head on, Chloe man, you’re not the sort to run away, never have been.’

‘Maybe it’s time to start.’

I sniffed the cigarette and screwed up my nose.

‘Come in,’ said Roxy, ‘Hurley’s got a surprise for Heidi and I think you should be there.’

My shoulders slumped.

‘Now I feel guilty because I know I haven’t been there for her lately. I’ve been too busy thinking about myself and about twenty dozen stupid cupcakes.’

Roxy straightened up and held out her hand. I put down the bottle, slipped the cigarette behind my ear and let her pull me up.

‘Come on, one surprise for Heidi then I’ll get Thierry to take us home and make us hot chocolates or
chocolat chaud
as he insists on calling it.’ She rubbed her belly. ‘Howay, hot chocolate? Listen to me, I’m starting to sound ancient.’

I stretched my cheeks back with my hands.

‘I’m starting to feel ancient. This credit crunch has not been kind to me, Roxy.’

‘Then make the most of all the free shite on offer here, lass. Really’ – she began dragging me towards the glass doors by the hand – ‘you’ve got to learn how to make the most of a situation. Come on.’

I sheepishly entered the room and tried my best to stand at the back but Roxy kept on dragging me right through the melée and over to her table. She shooed Thierry towards Gary Lineker until they were almost sharing a seat and then pulled me down next to her on a cream throne. I looked around for Zachary but could not see him. I
was terrified he would spot me mingling with the guests and ask me to get backstage with the waitresses.

‘Has it started yet?’ she said to Thierry who shook his head and winked at her.

The noise in the room suddenly hushed when a gong was struck beside the top table and a spotlight shone on Hurley who was sitting in the centre between Heidi and Malachy. My heart squirmed uneasily in my chest when I saw Zachary at Heidi’s other shoulder beside the same “glamorous” girl with the cannonball boobs and big hair whose head was lolling precariously close to his shoulder.

Bitch.

Sienna Miller’s waitress doppelganger handed Hurley a microphone, which he tapped before clearing his throat.

‘My brothers and I would like to thank you all for coming here to our family home to celebrate Christmas, which will be with us in a few short days and to mark the end of a year that has not been easy for many people in this country.’

A murmur of agreement coursed around the room and some people clapped, their Rolexes and diamond bracelets jangling on their wrists (ironic, I thought).

‘We have held parties for most of you and we have had a wonderful time doing that so we want to thank you for being not only our clients but for becoming our friends in the process.’

This was greeted with a cheer.

‘I’m sure I’ve bored every one of you over time with my ups and downs since I lost the use of my legs but tonight I want to let you know the good news.’

There was a gasp. Jesus, he wasn’t going to jump out of the wheelchair and do a routine with Diversity was he?

‘No, I haven’t suddenly found out I can walk, the good news is, I’ve found something even better. I’ve only been with her two weeks but already I know I’ve found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with because she is a better person than I could ever dream of being. So if you’ll have me, Heidi, I’m yours forever.’

My hands flew to my face.

‘Oh and just to clear something up, honey,’ he carried on, ‘I have to come clean to you all now and admit that I was actually christened
Frank
Hurley Doyle. It’s not quite as glam but it’s my given name, which does in fact begin with an F.’

Dear God the crazy psychic from Spanish City who got hit by a taxi was right.

Tears welled up in my eyes, through which I saw Heidi leap out of her chair and throw her arms around Hurley’s neck.

‘Yes!’ the microphone picked up as she nuzzled his ear, ‘Yes!’

‘Fucking hell man,’ Roxy chuckled, ‘he’s as mental as she is. Do you think he’s got a wedding scrapbook too, the pair of bloody romantic weirdos?’

I turned to look at her just as she smiled and turned her head towards Thierry. He reached out and clasped her hand tight, his smile illuminating his face.

‘Je t’adore,’ he said softly before kissing her gently on the crown of her head.

‘Aye,’ I heard her whisper in return, ‘I love you too, pet.’

It was the first time I had heard her use those words with any man.

No smart comment, no retort, no sarcasm or swift defence, just a simple
I love you too, pet
.

My two best friends were in love and one was about to have a baby. I was so happy for them, it was more than we could ever have imagined this time a year before. I owed it to them to treasure this moment in their lives. I took my own feelings of jealousy and discontentment and locked them in a box for later.

Maybe I’d tie it with a bow and open it alone on Christmas Day.

‘I have another surprise for Heidi,’ Hurley continued.

He really was getting into his stride. What the hell was he going to do now, present her with a puppy in a box and two point four perfect children? I burped sullenly under my breath, the bubbles from the champagne filling my nose and making my head spin. I wished I had eaten at least a bread roll or two.

Or two-hundred and twenty cupcakes that would more than likely go to waste.

‘Heidi has been working very closely with a local charity for disabled children. Some are like myself and have been paralysed in accidents and some were born disabled. Heidi has worked with many of them in her role as an occupational therapist at the clinic where I first met her. Not as a patient I must add.’

I tried to join in the ripple of laughter but I couldn’t be bothered to muster the strength. Hurley glanced proudly at Heidi.

‘In her spare time, would you believe, Heidi worked in the Charity Shop that financially helped this fantastic cause, which very sadly fell victim to the recession today and closed its doors.’

Heidi nodded sadly and the crowd offered up its sympathy.

‘So, Heidi,’ Hurley concluded, ‘in a little while, after Diversity have performed, we will be holding an auction, the proceeds of which we have decided to donate to the childrens’ charity to make sure they get those presents you wanted to get them for Christmas and much, much more.’

Heidi looked like she might faint. Hurley laughed and waggled the microphone at the assembled guests.

‘We are playing host to some very rich people here tonight, recession or not,’ he grinned cheekily, ‘so I will be expecting some eye-watering bids from you lot, or else your next 3D events may well not run as smoothly as you hope.’

The crowd erupted in rapturous applause, which I joined in with, as did Roxy and Thierry.

‘Get your wallet out, pet,’ Roxy said, nudging her boyfriend, ‘and you, Gary.’

Gary Lineker nodded and immediately riffled in his pockets.

Heidi was beaming as if all her Christmases had come at once. She clapped excitedly like a child then pulled Hurley’s face towards hers and kissed him.

‘Good things come to good people,’ I said quietly to myself, ‘and Heidi is the best person I know.’

Heidi suddenly caught my eye. I forced a smile and waved at her across the room. She waved back and then frantically motioned for me to come up to the top table. I shook my head. The applause was dying down and Sienna II was passing the microphone along the table. Heidi waggled her hands and mouthed something then pointed at the screen masking my cake. I tried to read her lips but couldn’t. I shook my head. She waved frantically. Was she trying to tell me to go before I was embarrassed? I shook my head again just as Zachary stood up, tapped the microphone and began to speak.

‘Good evening everyone, thanks for coming.’ He dipped his head and flicked back his fringe with his hand. ‘Now I usually like to leave these speeches to Malachy because we all know how he loves the limelight.’

Everyone laughed as Malachy threw his hands in the air and gestured for Zachary to give him the microphone.

‘But tonight, I would also like to tell you about someone I met very recently too.’

My heart flipped.

‘Don’t worry, it’s not another proposal’ – he nodded at Heidi and Hurley – ‘congratulations you two and welcome to the family, Heidi, but we’ll do all that later.’

My heart twisted with envy.

Zachary stepped out from the table, after having pulled his leg from the grip of cannonball tits and began to walk across towards the corner of the room while he spoke.

‘I met a girl, a woman, a lovely woman in Tynemouth Metro station one morning. She was, and I hope she doesn’t mind me telling you this, very sad that day because she had been made redundant.’

I heard a murmur of sympathy. Roxy clasped my hand and squeezed it.

‘Now in these hard times, she was not the first and she certainly won’t be the last. She had worked hard and it had come out of the blue. When I saw her there, so sad and lost, I stopped to help. She was, I suppose, my good deed for the day.’

As Zachary said this, he touched the shoulder of an elegant older woman with thick, white hair and a smiley face. Her green eyes flashed up at him with pride.

Mrs Doyle, I presumed.

She patted her son’s hand and he continued to walk on towards the black screen. My toes curled with a mixture of fear and embarrassment.

‘I only expected to give this woman a tissue but then we got chatting. She, I suppose you could say, fascinated me. She even asked me for a job, although she didn’t know who I was.’

‘I bet she did,’ I heard a woman mutter to her neighbour on the table beside me.

‘I didn’t,’ I hissed back.

‘There were a few more chance meetings, the details of which I won’t go into…’

Thank God
.

I had visions of him spilling all the beans, handbag in the Metro door, Spanish footballer in my bed, food fight at the flea market, the lot.

Zachary stopped in front of the black screen.

I stopped breathing.

‘One thing I found out about this woman, Chloe…’

Roxy squeezed my hand again and Heidi waved.

‘… was that she had had a childhood dream to be a posh cake designer. As in’ – he chuckled, his breath reverberating across the microphone – ‘a designer of posh cakes, not a posh designer of cakes.’

An appreciative laugh rippled through the partygoers. I still held my breath.

‘I tried to encourage her to chase that dream because I suspected she had a talent. She resisted at first. She was a hotshot businesswoman and she wanted to stay that way because she was comfortable
and
because she is as stubborn as I am.’

‘You are that like,’ Roxy laughed along with the rest of the guests.

I blushed.

‘To me, Chloe epitomised what has been happening to determined, hardworking people in the ups and downs of this recession. She had given her all to her job, forgoing her childhood dreams so that she would have a steady, reliable career, but then finding herself turfed out without so much as a thank you.’

I blinked when half the room turned to the other half and nodded.

‘I wanted to help and thankfully she gave in and agreed to bake the cakes for the 3D Christmas event. I asked her for something’ – he touched his hand to his chin – ‘exceptional, unforgettable and fabulous.’

I mouthed the words as he said them before holding my breath again.

‘It was a tall order. After all, Malachy doesn’t like anything done by halves.’

Malachy whooped and thrust his champagne glass into the air.

‘But I think Chloe has a knack of understanding people and what they want and well, I think you may be clambering over each other for one of her business cards when you see her creation.’

‘If I had any,’ I whispered to Roxy.

Roxy winked and Thierry blew me an affectionate kiss.

‘I’ll stop blithering on now,’ said Zachary.

He peered across the room and gestured for the lights to be dimmed, which they immediately were. I inhaled sharply.

‘Ladies and gentlemen I give you, the 3D Christmas cake.’

The screen was pulled back, the crowd of Newcastle’s movers and shakers inhaled, I covered my eyes but slowly lowered my hands when the room erupted in a round of spontaneous, enthusiastic and thankfully generous applause.

‘Go, godmother,’ said Roxy, shoving me out of my chair.

I stood and, while the room blurred around me, I tottered unsteadily towards my cakes.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Add puréed strawberries

Even I had to admit that, despite my earlier crisis of confidence and thanks to a little help from Malachy (as I later discovered) my cupcake sculpture looked impressive, quirky, sparkly and befitting of the 3D Events’ Christmas extravaganza.

The metal and wire ‘Christmas tree’ formed the base of the installation. It stood approximately four feet tall and it had been fantastically revamped by Julian and my parents using huge black and white feathers, swathes of silver and black material and vibrant splashes of paint. It was a cake-stand to rival all other cake-stands. Around the branches of the tree, we had coiled every set of fairy lights I owned, which twinkled magically in the dimmed lights of the party room, the pink and white hues reflecting off the black and white marbled surfaces. At the top of the tree was a giant snow dome. I had made a blown sugar bubble into which I had squeezed three men lovingly crafted from fondant icing, all with hair the colour of Guinness and smiles as white as the froth. I had spent a little more time on the fondant man in the centre of the snow dome. He had broader shoulders than the other two and a pink hanky (which did in fact have a strawberry flavour if anyone dared to taste it) in his top pocket and rather hypnotising green eyes. Julian had attached a motor to the dome, which whirled edible silver glitter around the three tasty brothers. The glitter blew out of small holes in the bottom of the dome and now fluttered down the tree, settling on the two-hundred and eighteen cupcakes nestling in the branches.