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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

Currant Events (12 page)

BOOK: Currant Events
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 “I believe I do,” Clio said
firmly, though her own backside was none too comfortable. Had it not been
insulated by the curvy nymph bark, she could have been burned. “It is
quite possible that whatever mischief is besieging you is the reason I was sent
to meet you. We merely have to establish what it is.”

 

 “Maybe so,” he agreed.
“I'd certainly like to know what's wrong with me.”

 

 They found separate stones to sit on.
“Please describe exactly what effects you have noted.”

 

 “That's hard to do, because
they're all different and they don't make any sense I can see.”

 

 “Start at the beginning. When was
the first untoward incident?”

 

 “I'm not even sure about that. In
retrospect things I took for coincidence seem not to have been. Maybe it was
the beans.”

 

 “Beans?”

 

 “I harvested some garden-variety
beans from the garden and brought them in for the communal pot. We elder Black
Wave folk don't have magic, though our children do, so we have to do things the
mundane way. But when we started eating the beans, we all went into violent
coughing fits. They were coughee beans.”

 

 “Why in Xanth would you harvest
that kind of bean? Didn't you recognize them?”

 

 “I do recognize them. What I
picked were ordinary beans, not magical ones. I'm sure of it. But somehow they
turned out to be the wrong kind. Some thought I did it on purpose, and others
thought I was incompetent. I wasn't allowed to harvest beans anymore.”

 

 Clio glanced at the couch-sized hot
potato, which seemed to be cooling. “I am sure that was a couch potato
when I sat in it. It changed when you touched it. So I can believe that the
beans changed.”

 

 “Thank you. But how? I couldn't do
such magic if I wanted to. I don't think there's an evil Magician following me
around; why would he bother?”

 

 “That is a good question.”
She considered. “I have two friends, one of whom you met: Drew Dragon.
They are telepathic. They can check to see if there are any other minds nearby,
and what their intentions are. Dragons?”

 

 “On it,” Drusie said.

 

 “Meanwhile,” Clio continued,
“what else has happened in your vicinity?”

 

 “Another day I harvested onions.
But when I brought them in, they turned out to be credit onions.”

 

 “I am not familiar with that
kind.”

 

 “It's not edible. It's active only
on weekdays,nine to five. You have to open an account, and there's a penalty
for early withdrawal. So we couldn't even get rid of them. After that I wasn't
allowed to harvest anything. No one believed I hadn't done it on purpose. I
don't even know what a credit onion is, just that it's supposed to pay
interest. How do you pay interest? You're either interested in something or you
aren't.”

 

 “I believe they have ways in
Mundania, where a person may pretend interest in order to flatter another. This
certainly looks like magic. What else happened?”

 

 “We had two grand trees by the
entrance to our settlement, that made anyone who touched them feel good. One
was the loyal tree; the other was the royal tree. I was feeling rejected, so I
went out and touched them both. After that they were a disloyal tree and a
peasant tree. That was when I was asked to leave the settlement.”

 

 “Did that solve the problem?”

 

 “Perhaps it did, for them. Not for
me. I had not gone far before I encountered a man and a woman, twins. The man's
talent was to manipulate bodies, while the woman manipulated minds. But after
they met me, he found he couldn't handle demons, and she couldn't affect the
minds of nymphs or ogres. They were most annoyed, and refused to have anything
more to do with me.”

 

 “Perhaps that was just as
well,” Clio said. “Those talents could be dangerous if they lacked
limits.”

 

 “Maybe so. They were planning to
conquer Xanth, but now are afraid they won't be able to do it. I really didn't
mean to interfere, but somehow I must have.”

 

 “We have found no hostile minds
within range,” Drusie reported. “Just several human girls having a
picnic. We think they're harmless.”

 

 “We had better be sure,” Clio
said. “Who are they and what are their talents?”

 

 “They are the sisters Lon Leigh,
who stops loneliness for others, and Luv Leigh, who makes anything lovely.
Their friends are Re Joyce, who gives folk joy-”

 

 “She's very pretty, for a
human,” Drew said.

 

 “And Inertia, who makes things
stay at rest, or stay in motion. That's an odd talent.”

 

 “But not one that would account
for the mischief Sherlock has encountered,” Clio concluded. “The
others seem innocuous also. There are no others nearby?”

 

 “There's a child and an
animal,” Drew said. “Do they count?”

 

 “They may. Describe them.”

 

 “One is a six-year-old Mundane
girl named Stephanie. She had- they took knives and cut her throat-”

 

 “They do that in Mundania,”
Clio said. “It's called surgery.”

 

 “To take something out. But they
weren't supposed to, and she kept on bleeding. Then she found herself here
without her family. She was very confused. But then a horse named Angel found
her, and gave her a ride, and she's feeling better now. They're both lost, and
looking for their homes.”

 

 Clio felt a chill. “They won't
find them. They live in Xanth now.”

 

 Sherlock glanced at her, and did not
comment. He understood. The two dragons read her mind, and understood.

 

 They heard footfalls. The horse was
coming this way. They paused in their dialogue, sitting on their stones.

 

 The horse appeared, a mare, walking
carefully along the path. A chubby child with pigtails was on her back. The
horse saw the people and stopped, sending a glance at Clio, as if asking
directions.

 

 “She knows the child is as lost as
she is,” Drusie said. “She needs to know where both of them should
go.”

 

 There would be time enough for them to
learn the truth. “Continue the way you are going,” Clio said.
“You will intersect an enchanted path. You will be safe on that, and there
will be rest stops with all you need, including places to eat, wash, and sleep.
Continue until you reach Castle Roogna. Three little princesses there will help
you.”

 

 Angel Horse nodded and walked on. In
Xanth, animals could understand a lot more than they could in Mundania. They
would get there in a few days, and the princesses would be glad to help them.

 

 Now they got back to business. “So
we have ascertained that there are no hostile influences in the
neighborhood,” Clio said. “That means it must be something associated
with you. Have you any idea what it might be?”

 

 He laughed. “Not unless I'm
haunted.”

 

 “Have you considered magic?”

 

 “You mean, magic I do? Remember,
I'm from Mundania.”

 

 “There is something you may not be
aware of, as it isn't widely known. Mundanes who remain in Xanth for a
sufficient time can develop magic talents of their own. It can take a decade or
so, but it happens. Often they don't realize it because they are so sure they
lack magic that they never look for it. So, like the centaurs of Centaur Isle,
they live in ignorance of their true abilities.”

 

 He stared at her. “You're telling
me I may have a magic talent?”

 

 “I believe it likely. This would
account for the effects you have been experiencing.”

 

 “I find this hard to
believe.”

 

 “I appreciate that. If you wish,
we can experiment to see if we can identify its nature.”

 

 “Well, I wouldn't want to take
your time.”

 

 “I believe that for the moment you
are my business, Sherlock. So I need to take the time to ascertain the
situation.”

 

 “In that case, thank you, and I'll
try to cooperate to make it as efficient as possible. I know you have other
things to do.”

 

 She knew he wasn't being facetious; he
was a nice man, and she found herself liking him. “Now these effects have
been significant changes in the natures of things you have touched, like beans
or onions as well as the potato. And of course there were the problems in the
ogre's garden.”

 

 “Ogre's garden? Oh, yes, the
little dragon told me.”

 

 “I did,” Drew agreed.

 

 “Things were changing, even
becoming the opposites of what they had been.” Clio paused as a bulb
flashed over her head. “Opposites: that suggests reversal. Could there be
reverse wood? Do you carry a chip of that?”

 

 “Like this?” Sherlock asked,
a chip of wood appearing in his hand. Then he stared at it. “How did that
happen?”

 

 “I believe you conjured it,”
Clio said. “That may be your magic. Can you do it again,
intentionally?”

 

 “I'm sure I can't. Maybe it just
dropped into my hand from above.”

 

 There was nothing but sky above them.
“Try, Sherlock.”

 

 He concentrated-and a bolt of wood
appeared in his hand, so big and solid it dropped to the ground before him.

 

 Drew had been perching on the man's
shoulder. He dropped too, and lay on the ground, looking changed.

 

 “Drew!” Drusie exclaimed,
flying to him. Then she too dropped.

 

 “Drew! Drusie! Are you all
right?” Clio asked. They didn't answer. Then she saw that they looked like
lizards.

 

 “It is reverse wood,”
she said. “It nullified them. Quick, abolish it!”

 

 The wood disappeared. Sherlock stared
again. “I didn't know I could do that.”

 

 The two tiny dragons recovered.
“That was awful,” Drew said. “Suddenly I was a dumb
animal.”

 

 “So was I,” Drusie said.
“If that's reverse wood, I want nothing to do with it.”

 

 “That was a lot of reverse
wood,” Clio said. “I don't believe I've ever seen so large a chunk;
normally it's tiny chips.” She looked at Sherlock. “I believe we have
discovered your magic talent: conjuring reverse wood.”

 

 “I am amazed.”

 

 “It will surely be a useful
talent, as you learn to bring it under control. Since we have established that
you can abolish it as well as summon it, control should be easy.”

 

 “I'll practice,” Sherlock
agreed, looking dazed.

 

 “Certainly you will not want to be
aggravating ogres in the future; that's dangerous.” Clio considered.
“However, you should also be able to use your talent in self-defense. A
chip of reverse wood might make an ogre weak, so that he could not bash
you.”

 

 “I suppose that would help, but I
would prefer to stay clear of ogres regardless.”

 

 Clio smiled. “Of course. Perhaps
you have some private place in mind, where you can practice undisturbed.”

 

 Sherlock shrugged. “I'll find one.
This is all so amazing!” He stood, and looked around.

 

 “He's confused,” Drew
reported. “He has no idea where to go.”

 

 Clio glanced at her compass. It was
still pointing to Sherlock. She sighed. “Perhaps I can help you
further,” she said. “Would you like to travel with us for a
time?”

 

 “I don't want to be a-”

 

 “I'm sure you can make yourself
useful, as you did when traveling with Dug Mundane.”

 

 “But you have better things to
do!”

 

 “Sherlock, there is an indication
that I am not through with you. So it behooves me to follow my own course,
which seems at the moment to be to make a continuing effort to help you find
yours. Please travel with us, at least for today.”

 

 He shrugged. “I will, then.”

 

 “He's much relieved,” Drew
reported. “He believes that you know many more answers than he does.”

 

 Clio hoped so. “Then let's move on
and find a place to spend the night, as the day is getting late.” She
wasn't entirely easy about camping with a man, even one she knew to be decent,
but this was where her compass led her. Apparently only when she resolved his
problem would she be free to resume her quest for the Currant.

 

 They followed the path in the direction
Clio had indicated for the girl and horse, and in due course reached the
enchanted path. They followed it to the camping area. The girl and horse
weren't there; apparently they had elected to continue traveling, now that they
had a safe path and a place to go.

 

 Sherlock did make himself useful, while
Clio relaxed. He fetched wood for a fire, and foraged for suitable pies and
water. Soon they had heated pot pies, which were of course in the shape of
little pots.

 

 “Well, now.” It was a voice
from nowhere.

 

 “A demon!” Drusie said.
“That must be your danger.”

 

 “Hello, Metria,” Sherlock
said.

 

 “No danger,” Clio said to the
dragon. “I know her.”

 

 “Bleep, you recognized me,”
Metria said. A swirl of smoke formed and condensed into the shapely demoness.
“I had hoped to be isolation.”

 

 “Hoped to be what?”

 

 “Closeted, inmost, intimate,
privy, undefined-”

 

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