Cuts Like An Angel (13 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Josh

On his bed, Josh held one phone—the one that connected him to Rosie. The one where she had shown him the way—where he got to listen to her voice, was William’s phone. The one where he texted her. The one where just now, for reasons he didn’t even know, he had asked her to meet him … and on the bridge. He pressed the phones together between praying hands and allowed himself to sit for just a moment. What had he done?

The phones banged against each other–William and Josh banging heads and meeting somewhere in the middle of him. Josh’s phone rang, startling Josh enough that he nearly lost both phones in one go. He turned it over. Wiltshire House flashed across the screen. It vibrated in his hand, the name scrolling across the top. Josh’s defiance spread along his back. He wasn’t going to answer anymore. That time was over.

Throwing William’s phone on the bed without cancelling the call, Josh got up and changed his top for one with longer sleeves—darker. So that she couldn’t see the fresh wounds there. William’s marks … marks of a fucking idiot … marks of another person.

He dashed to the bathroom, heart thumping inside his chest, and splashed water on his face–washing away the William of his mind. It had been a brief moment of weakness. Message her
sorry
and then suddenly the echo of her voice in his mind had tugged inside his chest and he had wanted to see her … needed to see her. He needed to explain so many things to her, but where did he start?

The song Engal blasted out from his room, echoing through the empty house, making Josh’s heart lurch at the sound of it. He gripped the edge of the sink, fighting with himself not to give in. Not to answer her. Maria … she had destroyed enough. She belonged in the past now; like William did.

The phone was still ringing out when Josh raced down the stairs, forcing himself away from it. This was one pain he could push away, a niggle inside him that he could leave. Face your fears didn’t they say?

What if she has hurt herself, William. Then how will you feel?

No. The voice inside could shut the hell up. “Shut up,” he said clutching his head at the bottom of the stairs. He caught sight of the closed door. His mother in there, pressing in on him.
You’re a failure William. A failure.
“It’s all your fault,” he spat. “Everything. But not this one. You’re not going to take anything from me ever again.”

He raced out of the house, door banging behind him. His bike was parked around the side, helmets already clipped to it. No one came out here. No one interesting anyway. This house … big, magnificent. About the only thing his mother had done right opening her legs to that bloke. She’d thought she could make some kind of pretty woman sequel out of it. Didn’t she ever realise she was just a pretty thing on their arms?

Josh jumped onto his bike and kicked it into action. Driving to Guy’s Court bridge by memory. Memory of that night … the night when all hell had kicked off and he just couldn’t take it anymore. That night when he had finally snapped. A beaten dog will always bite eventually. You just have to find the snapping point and Maria had done just that.

Josh parked his bike down one of the side roads. He wanted to walk to the bridge. He wanted to see Rosie before she saw him. But she was there already, dressed in a light pink summer dress with the straps, chewing on her thumb as she paced. She wore her hair in a twist at the back and probably thought she looked atrocious. But she was truly beautiful. The way she walked back and forth ... something was wrong. Something agitated her gait, the way she spun when she reached one side. She chunnered to herself. He couldn’t tell what she was saying.

You’re an idiot Josh. She’s going to tell you to take a hike.

Josh swallowed hard, stuffed his hands into his pockets and idled over to her. She abruptly stopped when she saw him, her face lighting up. Any nerves he felt about her telling him to get lost dissipated the moment the light shone in her eyes. He smiled back, elation surging inside him.

Don’t get too happy. She’ll leave.

Shut up William. 

“Hey,” he said taking the five steps with ease to reach her.

“Hi,” she said back.

His brain went blank as he stared.  “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry,” he said finally, feeling like that had to be the biggest reason he dragged her there.

She giggled oddly at him, scoffing with it and almost snorting. His own smile twitched on his lips as he observed her. Unsure if she was laughing at him, or something else. She clasped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she said.

“Is everything okay? You seem a little …”

“Bat-shit crazy?” she spat out, laughing again. Josh tensed unsure what to say to her. “Sorry. I … Shit.” She paced again, going to the side of the pavilion overlooking a small stream that broke off from the main river.

“Rosie?” he followed her, concerned. He tried to shake the feeling that she was going to tell him to take a hike. Just building herself up for it.

She spun, leaning against the railing.  He liked her in dresses. She had dainty little feet, the kind that Josh imagined would have done ballet as a child. She wore tiny slip on shoes. Everything about her seemed to be placed just perfectly. “I’m sorry about earlier.” She swallowed. “Today I mean. I kind of just.” She took a breath. “I didn’t have a right to just flip out on you.” She looked away from him, almost bouncing where she stood. “I mess everything up.”

Josh stepped closer. “You don’t.”

“No,” she held out her hand to assure him. “I do. I came to your house with you today and I don’t … I thought. God, see even now I’m messing up? I don’t even know you and then I acted like a jealous girlfriend or something. Like weird stalker woman.”

“You mean you’re not a weird stalker woman?” he asked alarmed.

“No,” she shot out.

“God damn it.” He tossed his hands in frustration. ““I always find the wrong ones.”

“Josh. I …” her words cut off with confused panic it seemed.

“I’m kidding,” he hurried.

She pressed her hand to her chest. “Really?”

“You think I want someone who is a stalker?” She frowned at him, making him smile because the way her eyebrows knitted together made her even more attractive. “What’s wrong, Rosie?” He dared to take another step closer. With each one, the magnetism that existed between them grew stronger, calling his body to hers. 

“I feel like an idiot,” she muttered.

“Because of now? I’m sorry. English humour.”

Shaking her head, she pushed herself from the railing and took a few steps to look at a different part of the water below. “I mean today. I don’t even know you and I acted like some jealous girlfriend.  I spoke out of turn. I wanted to say I was sorry.”

Josh crossed the distance between them, leaning himself on the railing next to her. “I feel like I’ve known you forever,” he said. “Is that weird? Like there’s just something.”

“Inside?”

He angled his head at her, nodding. “It wasn’t a girlfriend on the phone today or anything like that. It wasn’t a friend either. I didn’t mean to lie. Just.”

“It wasn’t?”

“You caught me off guard. Maria she is called. She thinks she has rights to me. She calls me sometimes like that. All upset and demanding I go to her.”

“Did you go?” Rosie tensed with her question.

“No,” he said.

“You hung up on me,” she whispered, biting her lip. “When I called.”

Josh turned and faced the water, looking down too. Here, it ran between rocks.  “I thought it was her again. I didn’t even look at the phone.” He fixed her with his gaze, not taking his eyes from hers. He wanted to reach out and tuck the errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Something else is wrong. I can feel it.”

She went to look away from him, but he reached out, grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger, not letting her.

“Tell me.”

Chapter Twenty

Rosie

Rosie’s air and brains oozed out at his soft touch. And his words. Ohhhh, his words, his accent, all of it reminded her of some moment in a romance book she’d read before. Mr. Darcy, maybe. Only cuter, she was sure. And real—real cute and asking her questions, important questions by the concern on his perfect brows.

She let out a light laugh at remembering her predicament. “I should just come right out and tell you,” she said, nodding.

“Yes, you should,” he agreed, his concern not budging.

She nodded, unable to tear her eyes from his. “I’m going to just jump. Jump and say it. I just need you to not be angry with me.”

“Angry?” His sexy smile said that was not even possible. “You’re very cute when you’re nervous.”

Cute? Before she could wonder if that was good, he moved a little until his entire side touched against hers, sending his body heat through the summer dress. She felt a press of warmth across her back and realized he held the rail on the other side of her. He wasn’t technically holding her, but her body said shut up, yes he was.

She looked down at her feet, holding the rail tightly behind her. Organize your thoughts. Get it together. Even as she tried, her mind showed her the image of the two of them, standing there, side by side like a modern day Cinderella couple. The midnight bell tolling in her mind like an hourglass of doom.

Her sabotage instincts kicked into gear and she blurted it all, ready to bring her dreams crashing down. “My mother called today and she’s coming to visit me and I lied to her and said you were my boyfriend and that we shared the same home.” She held her breath, her eyes clenched tight as she waited for the dream to explode, blow up, vanish.

“You said I was your boyfriend?”

“Oh my God,” she cried, covering her face. “I’m sorry,” she said behind her hands, “I know that was wrong but my mother is a,” she yanked her hands down and looked at him. “If you knew her … why are you smiling?” she paused in confusion.

He chuckled and shook his head while moving his hand on the rail, forcing her tighter to him. “What other naughty lies did you tell, Rosie?”

Her stomach fluttered. He didn’t sound very upset in the least, and the way he stressed
naughty ...
almost like he … may have
liked
everything she’d just said. “And I … I told her you … were a doctor.”

His instant laughter rang out. She stared at him, waiting for the response, the real one that followed the laughter. She was pretty sure none of what she’d just said was funny. Even a little.

“And I told her we
live
together,” she reminded. “Me and you.
Together
.” Why wasn’t he getting the weight of that? The reality?

He angled a grin at her, making her feel like he wasn’t hearing her at all. “So let me get this straight. You told your mum that you live with me.”

“But not shacked up,” she hurried, remembering that part. “Like friends. Roommates.”

“But we’re dating?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, so we live together, but we don’t sleep together?”

“We don’t … have sex.”

“We live together, maybe even sleep together, but we don’t have sex. And what sort of doctor am I?”

“I never said.” She still eyed him closely, trying to understand his reaction and where he was headed with his questions.

“I get to pick what kind of doctor I am?”

It finally hit her. He was going along with it. “Oh my God,” she gasped. “You’re not angry?”

“God no,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m flattered, actually. That you would pick me to co-star in this little production of yours. Will there be cameras? Have you come up with a title for your soap opera?”

Relief made her erupt in a huge laugh as she shoved him with her shoulder. “This
is
a huge production, I assure you. I forgot to mention my sister, Miss Me So Fine America will be coming with her.” She eyed him to see his reaction to that. “She’s married,” she couldn’t help but pathetically throw in.

“Ah that’s too bad,” he said, stealing Rosie’s breath. “I was looking forward to making her jealous. Do I get to pretend like I’m your boyfriend in front of them?”

Rosie stared at him, speechless. She wanted to believe him so bad but it all felt too good. Way too good. “I’m not joking, Josh. I can’t believe you’re not pissed at least a little,” she said, still sure he had to be.

“Why would I be? I think it’s probably my first time being involved in this type of criminal activity.”

She shook her head slowly at him then snickered. “I don’t really have to
live
there; I just need to make it look that way.”

“I was actually needing a roommate.”

“You shit me,” she said, shocked.

“I’m not. And did you know I’ve always wanted to be a doctor? I’ve got some schooling under my belt too.”

Rosie gasped, smiling. “Wh-what … like what kind of doctor?”

“Philosophy.”

“Doctor of philosophy? They have doctors for that?”

He laughed like she was just the best medicine ever. “Yes, they do.”

“Wow. I probably knew that at one time.”

“Probably,” he said, a smile in his voice. “But if you want a more common doctor title, I can pick another. Gynecologist?”  He winked.

“Nooooo,” she said, shaking her head in shock and panic.

“I’m kidding. Doctor of philosophy it’ll be. That okay?”

Rosie nodded, relieved. She could just imagine her mother’s face at that. Wait no. Lacey’s face … maybe not face. She’d be opening her slutty legs and asking for a check-up. Philosophy was fine. Intelligently sexy. “She can take it or leave it, I don’t care.”

“You don’t?”

Rosie realized how stupid that sounded with her drama production
.
“I
assure
you I do not care,” she said. “I’m doing this to get my inheritance. She’s hanging it over my head like a sick lab worker person dangling cheese before the starved lab rat, making me run the maze, run the maze then when I do, she only gives me a little crumb.” Rosie ran a hand through an imaginary puzzle before pointing rapidly to her chest. “I’ve earned my cheese, don’t even think I haven’t. But now I don’t even
care
about the damn cheese anymore, I’ve lived without it this long.”

She slowly sagged in the silence as she heard the contradiction. “Maybe I can use a little cheese,” she admitted, angling her eyes toward him. “England is not friendly to American rats you know. No offense.”

“I don’t have a lot of cheese, but I’m more than happy to share with you.”

Her heart jerked in her chest and she looked at him. 

He stared back for many seconds. “Did I say something wrong?”

She shook her head slightly. “No,” she whispered. “I’ve never.” She narrowed her brows, fighting back emotion. “Thank you Josh.”

He shrugged and looked down at his feet. “It’s just cheese.”

“I honestly don’t care about cheese,” she said.

“I loathe the cheese. But we do need it to survive.”

“Yes,” she conceded, depressed at her situation. “I was supposed to be a lot farther along on my little adventure here.” She gave a little shiver when a gust of wind blew against them.

His warm hand slid over her arm a few times. “I’ll help you, Rosie.”

She shot her gaze up to his face and her heart pummeled her chest.

“What now?” he wondered smiling down at her.

“You just sound like …” She lowered her head and pushed hair behind her ear. “Just somebody.”

“Who?”

“Just a friend.”

“Hmm,” he said, giving light nods.

“What?”

“Not so sure I can tolerate you having other guy friends while we date.”

A smile slowly took over her face and entire body, making her giddy. “You’re a possessive boyfriend?”

He angled a look at her. “Very.”

Her smile faded a little at the serious tone and look on his face. “You’re very good at this,” she said. “I don’t have another boyfriend.”

“So this other person is just a friend and a guy?”

“He’s … he’s more than that, but not?” she tried, holding her shoulders up in hopes he understood what she meant.

Josh snorted, shaking his head again. “Sorry, none of those either.”

She giggled. “William is harmless.”

“William?
William?
Sounds like a girl’s blouse.”

Rosie shoved him hard. “Don’t say that, William is a beautiful soul.”

“And
definitely
no beautiful soul friends,” Josh said emphatically.

“What kind of male friends am I allowed?” she wondered, fighting not to laugh.

“Does the none kind work?”

Her laughter shot out. “I guess it has to.”

“And the same for you,” she said, holding her breath and waiting for the dream to shatter.

“Having more than you would be unthinkable.”

“Is that an insult?” she laughed. “I can’t tell, no fair.”

“Do you always take everything a person says in the worst way possible?”

She nodded with wide eyes. “Yes. I told you that.”

“When is your lovely family coming, anyway?”

She winced up at him. “Next week which could be
Monday
with her
.
”

“She didn’t say? My
God,
my home is hardly ready.”

“I can come help get it ready?”

“You most certainly will,” he assured.

Rosie laughed all the while assessing the outcome of this sure catastrophe. Somehow, life had shot its usual canon sized lemons at her and this strange new fate had turned it into spiked lemonade that had her feeling drunk.

“And I’m sure we’ll need to go over the specifics of our personal arrangements,” he semi-asked.

“Personal?” she wondered, her heart back to racing at that term. She wanted to get personal with him. Very. Naughty personal even.

“Well, I need to know just how much fun I get to have while pretending to be your boyfriend.”

Her excited laughter boomed out like a teenager talking about boys. God was this really happening? Was she really going to spend the next week with Josh pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend at his
house?
She fought the happy squeal that raced through her veins and made her smile nearly touch her ears. “Thank you,” she finally gushed in relief. Relief of so many things.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he warned, turning a half smile at her.

“I do thank you. Even if it flops, I thank you,” she whispered, suddenly emotional again. Oh shit, suddenly very emotional. She fanned her face. “Sorry, I just …” She nodded and wiped her eyes. “Don’t get so many breaks in life, or good friends, you know?”

Josh’s arms were suddenly around her, holding her to his warm body. The amazing feeling overwhelmed her as she absorbed the rush of it. “Let’s go home,” he whispered in her ear. “I want to make you a grilled cheese sandwich.”

Rosie’s laughter shot into his chest while her hands refused to stop touching the muscles along his back.

“You can finish that massage later,” he teased.

“Shit, right,” she gasped, pulling away.

“I do think we might need a touching rule.”

Oh God. She eyed him to see his face, to see if he was as serious as he sounded. 

“It’s a joke,” he helped, grinning like he might love her insecurity. “Kind of. As in, I’m very sure I will need physical boundaries.”

She was back to giddy smiles at the compliment. “I’m sure we can
both
behave.”

“Speak for yourself,” he said before raking a hand through his cute short hair and making it stand up on one side. “You remember where I live?”

“I do.” She could probably get there with her eyes closed.

“Good. Get your things.” He met her eyes briefly and lowered them with a smile. “I’ll be waiting. Don’t be late. I’m a jealous and paranoid boyfriend.”

She bit her lip while hugging herself. “Okay Dr.”