Damage Control (Valiant Knox) (24 page)

“I don’t have any blood disorder, so wherever you got that information, it’s wrong. You can get a doc in here and test me right now.” Lawler looked a little annoyed, but still not worried.

“Then you must have had some miraculous kind of recovery in the past ten years, because according to the records we have, it seriously impacted your sophomore year of high school,” Yang said, tone conversational as though they were discussing nothing more interesting than the weather.

Lawler passed a slow look between the two of them, then abruptly shoved to his feet and ran for the door. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t get any farther and slammed a fist into the hatchway when he realized he was trapped.

“Did he really think he could make a run for it?” Leigh shot the question at Yang, who almost looked amused. “Obviously he’s not that smart after all.”

Leigh stalked over and grabbed the back of the guy’s shirt, yanking him away from the hatchway and steering him over to the table. He threw the guy back into the chair and then clamped a hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting up again. It was all he could do in that moment not to let the fury loose and snap the guy’s neck.

“You sure as hell aren’t Nolan Lawler. So who are you?” The cold violence in his tone came out crystal clear, and for the first time, Lawler actually looked concerned.

But the guy tipped up his chin, putting on a tough front. “Torture me all you want. I’m not telling you shit.”

Leigh let him go with a rough shove and rounded the table to stand next to where Yang was still seated. “We don’t torture people, not like you sick CSS sons of bitches. But you will talk, because if you don’t, then we’re going to send you back to your own people with a nice explanation about how helpful you are.”

Fake-Lawler wasn’t looking so smug anymore, in fact, he’d started looking a little pale.

Leigh dragged the chair out next to Yang and sat down. They needed Lawler to roll over on his accomplice to see this situation resolved. “Now, I don’t know how accurate those rumors are, about what the CSS does to their own people who betray them. But even if just a fraction of that is true, then I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in your shoes right now.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

M
ia’s steps were measured as she left the transit on squadron level and headed along the passageway toward the officer’s wardroom. She’d seen Sub-Lieutenant Rayne at messdeck, and he’d told her she could find Lieutenant Brenner up here.

Despite going to bed early, she’d slept the night away deeply and soundly, as though her body was trying to catch up on all the sleep she’d missed in previous nights. However, when she’d woken up, she still hadn’t been sure what kind of transfer to request. All of the work she’d done for Leigh had made her realize she’d never be suited to Command Intelligence, and while she still wanted to be an aeronautical engineer, usually a person needed a few years experience serving on ship before moving into such a position. That would be her ultimate aim, but she wasn’t sure what to do with herself until she’d gained the necessary background. Still, a little voice kept telling her that staying in the squad might be the answer.

She didn’t want to be a fighter pilot. So why this lack of enthusiasm about cutting the ties? She had a feeling it came down to two things that shouldn’t influence her decision. First off she was more than a little competitive and quitting had never been her play, even though requesting a transfer after graduation technically wasn’t quitting.

Secondly, stupidly, it came back to Leigh and the trepidation that after giving up her spot, she’d leave the
Knox
and never see him again. He hadn’t been hers to begin with, so the fact that she’d gotten so attached to him was no one’s fault except her own fool self.

So she had to organize a transfer, work out where she wanted to go, and how to get there. This morning. Right now. Because the two reasons dragging her footsteps weren’t good enough to keep her here. She only wished there was some way to get out of the day’s sessions, because after the final exam, the remaining recruits would be taking their maiden solo flight in a jet. Maybe flying a jet would be fun, but maybe it wouldn’t be. Truthfully, she didn’t want to find out.

She arrived at the officer’s wardroom to a closed-over door. She tabbed the call icon on the inset screen and waited for Brenner to let her in. The hatchway cracked open and she pushed through, but had only taken two steps into the room when she stopped short.

Lieutenant Brenner was nowhere to be seen, but Leigh was standing next to the conference table, coffee in hand, a brief flicker of surprise crossing his features.

Her damned heart flipped out before simply stopping altogether, making her next breath impossible to find. Every time she saw him, her physical reaction to him became stronger. Her heart tried to tell her she’d made a huge mistake in ending things with him, becoming louder and more insistent every time. It was exactly why she needed to get away from him, before she did something stupid, like decide Leigh and everything he made her feel was worth the destruction of both their careers.

“What are you doing here? Class starts in a less than half an hour.”

She clasped her hands behind her back, glancing around the room as if it might give her some clue as to where Brenner had gone.

“I’m here to see the lieutenant.” The reason didn’t matter as a more pressing issue took over her thoughts. “What happened with Lawler?”

There were shadows in his gaze that hadn’t been there a few days ago, new lines of tension and strain around his eyes and mouth, as though this whole situation had started taking a physical toll on him.

“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. But you were right, he betrayed us all.”

She wanted to press him for details, wanted to ask if he was okay or there was anything she could do for him, but she’d given up the right to any of that days ago.

“So, do you know where Lieutenant Brenner is?”

Leigh set the coffee down and leaned against the edge of the table. “She just got called up to launch deck. I’m not sure why. But I doubt she’ll be back before you need to be in session to sit the exam. Is there something I can help you with?”

She hadn’t wanted to have this conversation with him, but there was no point in skirting the issue, he’d find out eventually anyway. She took a deep breath, pushing her shoulders back a little. “I wanted to talk to her about a possible transfer, instead of taking a spot in the squad after training is complete.”

Leigh’s expression gave nothing away as he stared at her for a long, silent moment.

“We both know it’s the right thing to do,” she continued after the silence started getting to her.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Its not a question of what’s right, it’s a question of what you want. Do you want to be a fighter pilot, Mia?”

The sound of her name, inflected with the slightest hint of intimacy, deflated the indifferent bravado she’d held onto. She let her shoulders drop as she glanced away from him.

“I don’t think flying is my thing, but I’ll admit, I don’t like the idea of quitting. Not to mention I have no idea where to go from here because even if I get another posting on board the
Knox
, it’ll be years, if ever, before I get anywhere near aeronautical engineering.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw him straighten and step toward her, sending her heart into an erratic pound. The closer he got to her, the harder it was to remember why they were supposed to be staying apart.

“Then don’t quit. At least wait until the end of the day. See if you pass the exam. Take the maiden flight. If you make it into the squadron, you could look at transferring in twelve or eighteen months when you’ve got some solid experience. Or maybe you’ll get into that jet and it’ll be like coming home. You’ll know you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.”

“Is that what it was like for you?” She shouldn’t be asking; she didn’t need to know anything more about him to feed the feelings she’d been trying to fight, but her weakness for him continually overrode her logic.

He gave a quick half smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. I’ll never forget the first time I slid into the cockpit and launched out into the black. It literally stole my breath. Until recently, I never thought anything else would feel better than that moment.”

Her breath caught as he took another step closer to her. Was he talking about— No, she’d already set her resolve when it came to them; she couldn’t let anything sway her, particularly the gleam in his gray-blue eyes as he stared at her.

“Leigh, we already talked about this. I don’t want either of us to get hurt, and we both know that’s the only way this is going to end.”

He ran a hand over his hair, and for the first time, his control slipped, expression showing the conflict raging within him. “I’ve always been confident in every decision I’ve made, never second-guessed myself, never regretted a single moment, even the ones that saw my men killed in action, because I always knew that when it came to the bigger picture, I was doing the right thing. But I don’t know what the right thing is when it comes to us, Mia. I know what’s right according to UEF policy, but what feels right, deep down where it counts, is in total contradiction. Plus this thing with Lawler— What am I supposed to do with all that?”

Her heart clenched, because she understood exactly what he was saying. Keeping her distance from him seemed the right thing to do, but it hadn’t
felt
like the right thing. It felt wrong to the very depths of her being. But it wasn’t like they had a choice. Yes, transferring from the program would mean he wouldn’t be her CO anymore and technically their relationship would no longer be in violation of UEF regulations. But wherever she ended up probably wouldn’t be somewhere she could see him often enough to maintain any kind of relationship. Or, say she made it into the squadron and waited a year or two for a possible transfer. Then what? Did she want to spend every day of the next year like she had these past weeks? She couldn’t imagine holding up the charade for over a year.

So she had to remind herself for the millionth time, what was the point?

“I should go.” She half turned, but that was as far as she got before she stopped again, indecision freezing her in place. And then they were just standing there, staring at one another, silence stretching between them.

Leigh’s gaze darkened, and she took a step back. If she gave in this time, there would be no going back. For better or worse, they’d be stepping off a ledge into the unknown, a yawning cavern where she couldn’t see the bottom. Maybe they’d find a soft landing, but the fear of jagged rocks waiting to tear them apart was definitely winning out.

Except Leigh was staring at her with more emotion in his gaze than she’d ever seen from him and it was slowly but surely breaking down her resolve.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She held up a hand to fend him off, but he closed the distance between them to catch her hand and flatten her palm against his chest, over his pounding heart.

“Why not?” His voice had dropped a little lower.

“You know why not.”

He crowded closer to her. “Yeah, I know why not. I’ve done everything in my power to give you what you asked for, and I’ve hated every minute of it.”

She swallowed, allowing him to tug her closer. Her heart trembled, and she couldn’t resist as he cupped her cheek, his gaze roaming over her face. “Leigh—”

“I miss you.” His voice had dropped to a whisper.

All of the emotion she’d been keeping at bay rushed in like the ocean tide, sweeping all resistance from its path, because she felt exactly the same way. She ached all over, and nothing would soothe the hurt…nothing except Leigh.

Mia surged up against him, catching him around the shoulders, even as her lips found his. Leigh stumbled back a step, but held onto her, hauling her tighter against him. His hand slid around to the back of her neck and clamped on as he kissed her deeper, almost desperately, until shivers cascaded down her spine in a waterfall of desire.

There was no controlling this moment, nothing made any sense as she succumbed to the furious twist of desire inside of her. Nothing existed beyond Leigh, with his body up against hers.

He turned them and urged her backward until something hit the backs of her upper thighs.
Desk
. Even as she registered the object, he was lifting her, setting her down, and pressing into her.

Mia wrapped herself around him, gasping as his lips slanted away from hers and laved a hot path down her neck. She needed to feel his skin, warm beneath her hands. The top two fasteners of his shirt slipped free beneath her fingers, but before she could get any farther with them, Leigh took over, yanking at the material until the catches popped free.

As he shrugged out of the garment, she reveled in the sensation of smoothing her palms over his firm, muscled flesh. She ran her hand up the strong column of his neck and then pulled him in for another heart-stopping kiss.

“Your turn,” Leigh murmured against her mouth, tugging her shirt free of her pants. But, instead of getting the garment off her, he slid his hand up underneath it, skipping lightly over her skin until she was shuddering.

He hooked a finger between her breasts and into the catch of her bra, releasing it with a simple flick. Her breath stuttered into nothingness as he eased his palm underneath a cup and molded her sensitive flesh with his fingers.

“
Leigh
.” She wanted so much more, but didn’t have words as the rough pads of his fingers rasped over her nipple.

Mia pulled him in closer, opening her thighs to bring him up against her very center.
Oh God
, it felt so good as he rocked against her, the length of his erection hot, even through their clothes.

Leigh grabbed the top fastener of her pants, his movements hurried and forceful, giving hint to the desperation swelling between them.

The solid
thud
of the wardroom door slamming closed jolted every cell in her body. Leigh broke their kiss and glanced over his shoulder, swearing under his breath. He shifted back, and Mia caught sight of Steve Robinson standing just inside the door, staring at them with an expression of gratified malice.