Damaged (27 page)

By the time we got to his campus, I really ain’t even care no more. But it was stunning, all the grass, trees, and old buildings
mixed with newer ones. The campus was pretty quiet when we got there since school was out, but Rob walked me around, pointing
out the dorms and the buildings where he had classes. It was beautiful. Peaceful, mostly.

“You don’t get bored all the way down here? It seems way too quiet and country looking for me.”

Rob shook his head. “When school is in, it’s always a lot of people around and always something to do. Man, you’d be surprised.
Most of the people from D.C. hang together, so it’s cool. We don’t hang together all the time, I mean, you know, my closest
friends are my roommate, Paul from Florida, and this dude from Chicago named Mike.”

After we finished walking around, we grabbed something to eat at a sandwich shop.

“Let’s get a hotel room,” I said stirring my straw in circles, mixing my lemonade. “I’m tired and it’s getting all late.”

Rob rubbed the back of his head and dragged his hand down his neck. “You sure you don’t wanna just hit the road? We got a
long way to go.”

“Ain’t you tired of driving? It’s not like I’m helping or nothing.”

He chewed his lip and then tapped his knuckles on the table. I could tell he wasn’t sure what I meant by me wanting the room,
but I was really just tired. I took a sip of my drink and stared out the window until he made his mind up.

“All right, but let’s just get two different rooms.”

I frowned, cuz that seemed odd. “Okay. Whatever.”

“Nah, not like that, Camille. I mean, I just don’t want you to feel no pressure about anything. One room is just gonna complicate
shit, you feel me?”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked back out the window. I guess he really thought low of me. All I was thinking about was
saving money, not screwing him.

“No, Camille, not like that. It’s just… you been through a lot, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to pressure you
or trick you or like I’m running game. I just wanna get to know you, like from scratch. You feel me?”

I rolled my eyes and stayed quiet, since no, I wasn’t
feeling
him.

“Listen,” he said, reaching across the table for my hands. “Every time I think about all that shit you went through, that
shit hurts me to my heart, young.”

I could tell Rob had created in his mind all the little details I purposely left out of the stories I told him. He was probably
seeing them replayed over and over again in his head every time he looked at me.

“I don’t want you to feel strange about nothing that happens with me and you,” Rob said. “I mean that kiss the other day was—”

“You don’t have to say nothing else, Rob, I understand. It’s cool.”

“Nah, it was what’s up. I liked it… a lot,” he said, squeezing my hands. “But I mean, don’t get me wrong… you was Chu’s girl
and shit, Camille. That part’s still fucking with me hard.” He shook his head and looked away, and then he turned back around
and said, “I don’t know how that man would feel—”

I nodded and then put my finger to his lips. He ain’t have to say no more. I understood what he meant. I wasn’t really sure
how I was feeling about Rob, and he was right—Chu was still in my heart, and it was clear he was heavy on Rob’s mind. One
thing I knew for sure, with Rob I could breathe and relax in a way I hadn’t done in a long time. That felt good. I just wanted
to keep that feeling around me as long as I could. Plus, I needed to wipe my slate clean anyway and take a break so I could
focus on what was ahead of me. “Believe me, I understand, Rob.”

When we checked into the hotel, and headed in opposite directions after we got off the elevator, I wondered if Rob was having
second thoughts, so I turned around to see if he was looking at me. But he had already hit the corner at the end of the hall
and I could hear him going into his room.

The next morning we picked over the dried-up muffins and stale cornflakes they was calling a continental breakfast before
we jumped back in his truck.

“You sleep okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, you?” I said, buckling my seat belt.

“Nah,” he said, smiling. “I couldn’t sleep at all.”

I smiled, too.

“Hey, I was thinking we should get some real breakfast. I know this spot that got the best cheese grits and salmon cakes I
ever had. You like that, right?”

“Not salmon. They got fried fish?”

“Do they,”
he said, smiling. “It’s banging, too.”

He whipped the truck around and drove a few miles until he got to this little diner with a huge porch wrapped around the front.
It was screened in, to keep the bugs out, and looked real homely, but the parking lot was jam-packed with cars. And before
I got outta the truck, I could smell the food. There was even a line to get inside.

“Are you serious?” I asked, staring at the people who looked like they was giving something away for free inside.

Rob nodded. “It’s just that good.”

“You love eating, don’t you?”

He nodded again and smiled.

After breakfast, we got back on the road and crawled through the rest of North Carolina, but before cruising through South
Carolina, Rob wanted to show me the South of the Border. It looked like a Mexican carnival plopped down in the middle of nowhere,
on the borderline between North Carolina and South Carolina. We bought a lot of useless stuff like maracas and taffy candy,
and we even played a couple games where Rob tried to show me how good he was (he won me a stuffed flamingo on his first try,
but lost every game after that) before we jumped back in the truck.

“Hey, I called Paul and told him we was gonna stop by his house when we got to Florida. You cool with that?”

I shrugged. “Cool with me.”

“He lives in Jacksonville. I want you to meet him. He’s cool as shit.”

I smiled and then unwrapped a piece of taffy. It took us a while to hit Florida, but I wasn’t complaining since Rob was telling
me about all the trouble him and Chu used to get in with Tep, and how him and Paul clashed the first few weeks after he moved
in with him.

“Man, I was not feeling that white boy at first. He had such a big-ass mouth, man. Always bragging and shit, but then I found
out he was all right, just too fucking hyper. I got his little ass loving Go Go music now,” he said, laughing.

My cell rang for the first time in a long while. I could hear the muffled sound coming from deep in my overnight bag. I crawled
to the backseat and opened the phone when I saw Shakira’s face on the screen. “Hey, girl, what’s up? Don’t tell me you miss
me already?” I teased.

“Camille, Peaches called me.”

“Oh, yeah? How she doing?”

“She lost the baby last night.”

“Nooo,” I said. Rob looked over at me, anxious to know what was the matter.

“I got Amir while she in the hospital.”

“Hospital?” I asked. “She’s still there?”

“What’s wrong?” Rob asked.

Shakira took a deep breath and I knew she was smoking. “That nigga went crazy and tried to kill her last night.”

I shook my head. I could hear Shakira inhale her cigarette and then blow the smoke out. “You should’ve seen her, Camille.
Her face was all swollen and purple and shit. That dirty muthafucka even knocked one of her front teeth out. That nigga is
fucking sick!”

With Shakira yelling, Amir’s cries rose up and echoed through the phone. The last time I spoke to Peaches was about a month
ago. She had seemed so happy. Like everything she ever wanted, she finally had. I felt for her, though, cuz I knew Nut couldn’t
have changed all that much. He was still a wolf, just fronting in sheep’s clothing. Wasn’t no way in hell he was a family
man now.

“Is she gonna be all right?” I asked.

“Girl, I hope so. I thought I was done dealing with this nigga’s bullshit. Now I’m sitting here babysitting his damn son.”

“Hmmmph.” I sighed. “Girl.”

“What’s going on?” Rob asked again.

“Your cousin beat the shit outta my girl again,” I said. “She lost the baby.”

“Damn.”

“Camille, I’ma talk to you later,” Shakira said before taking a puff. “Have a safe trip, and call me when you get some time.”

“All right, girl. Kiss Amir for me.”

Me and Rob rode for a while without saying anything. We both knew what fucked-up shit Nut was capable of doing. I think we
just ain’t know he was still that damn stupid.

“My cousin is one fucked-up individual,” Rob said, squeezing the steering wheel tight.

I felt a little guilty since I played along with Nut’s “newfound” self. I never tried to talk Peaches out of their new relationship,
and I acted like everything was all cool with him, too. Now my friend was laid up in a hospital, probably fighting for her
life, knowing him.

By the time we got to Jacksonsville, me and Rob was both worn out from the ride. As soon as we pulled up in the driveway of
Paul’s big yellow house with the huge yard that wrapped around the sides, I could feel Rob getting his energy back. He must’ve
really liked this white boy.

“What up, cuz?” Paul said, running off the porch to dap Rob up. He had short red hair and a beer in his hand.

I couldn’t help but smile when he looked me over like he was giving Rob his thumbs-up.

“Okay, okay,” Paul said, nodding. “I know y’all hungry. Follow me.”

There was a small house in the back of the main house that Paul kept calling a pool house cuz it was beside a pool. He had
some hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. After we ate, we went in the pool house to smoke some weed Paul said his parents
bought him from some Jamaican cat that lived two houses down. I had no idea if he was lying or not, but it was a lot of weed
and I knew they smelled us smoking since all the windows was open.

Paul had tiny freckles under his eyes that twinkled every time he laughed from telling stories about Rob and the basketball
team. They joked for hours about people I ain’t know, teachers they couldn’t stand, parties they went to, and games they played.
I was glad to get Peaches and Nut outta my mind for a minute. Rob looked just as relieved, and the herb looked like it was
working its magic on all of us.

Hearing their stories made me really wanna go to college now. Paul said his freshman year was just like if there was a thirteenth
grade in high school. It wasn’t any harder, just more people from across the country with different backgrounds.

Paul left us in the pool house after me and Rob had yawned a couple times. We ended up falling asleep on the same bed in our
clothes. I woke up in the middle of the night, after I heard water splashing. The bed was empty and Rob was gone. I looked
at my cell phone to check the time. It was only one in the morning, but it felt much later.

I walked over to the pool, sat on a chair, and watched him do a couple smooth laps before he noticed me. He swam over with
those tight, toned arms and smiled.

“My bad. I ain’t mean to wake you up. Just couldn’t sleep.”

I nodded and then rubbed the back of my arms.

“You know, if you get in, you won’t feel so cold,” he said.

He was definitely flirting, regardless of whatever he said earlier, and I was ready to take him up on his offer.

“You’re probably right,” I said, peeling my tank top and jeans off. Now, I can’t swim, but I know how to look cute in the
pool, especially in my matching white bra and panties.

Rob’s smile got even brighter. “Oh, okay. I see you.”

I sat on the edge of the pool and tested the water with my feet. He was right—the water wasn’t so bad. Rob inched closer before
grabbing me by my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.

“Oh, my God, Rob, don’t get my hair wet, for real!” I screeched.

“Sheeiit,” Rob sang before dipping my whole body in the water.

As soon as I popped back up, and coughed water out of my lungs, I whispered, “I can’t swim.”

“Oh, shit, Camille. Why you ain’t tell me?” Rob rushed me to the poolside and waited for me to catch my breath before he went
back to the pool house to grab both of us towels.

“Girl, you’re crazy,” he said, smiling. “You came out your clothes all gangsta and shit. I thought you knew what you was doing.”

“I thought so, too.” I laughed a little bit and wrapped the towel around my shoulders.

“Hold up. Let me see your tattoo again.”

He caught me off guard with that. I always forget about that dumb-ass tattoo Nut made us get. I wished the shit just disappeared.

I flashed the towel up real quick.

“Hold up. Not so fast,” he said, lifting the towel off of my lower back. “Damn. Six, six, six?”

I felt ashamed. That tattoo told a story I wished I never had to remember. “Your sick-ass cousin.”

Rob looked me over like he wanted to say something, but he ain’t know what to say or how to say it. And I understood. “Let’s
go back inside before we wake up everybody.”

I
n the middle of the night, I felt Rob’s arms wrap around me. I smiled and snuggled closer. I still couldn’t believe he was
the same guy who used to hug the block with Chu, selling drugs and doing whatever else. He had become this whole
other
person even though he was the same, still cracking jokes and teasing me, but he seemed different.

I lied there and thought about my plan to take the money I had been saving to go to UDC when I finished with my GED classes.
After I told Rob my plan about me wanting to look into social work, he told me about a law that he heard about for D.C. residents.
About us being able to go to any public state college in Virginia or Maryland for in-state tuition since D.C. only had one
public college, UDC, and it wasn’t an actual state. Rob said I should think about going somewhere else. I told him I’d look
into it, since I had never thought that far ahead.
Going to college outta town might not be such a bad idea.
Maybe I could be normal again.

THE NEXT AFTERNOON

W
hen we got to beautiful Miami, Tep met me and Rob outside with his albino-looking dog with a bright red choke collar. Tep
was grinning from ear to ear, like he was so happy to see us. He kept giving out hugs and squeezing Rob’s shoulder. Maybe
seeing us made him feel like he was with family again. He looked more like his mother than Chu to me now, but I could definitely
see Chu in his face.