Damaged and the Knight (28 page)

Judd kissed the mouth I hated then sighed. “Only your eyes this time. Just for a few seconds, so you can see what I see.”

Holding onto him as I tilted to my left, I caught a glimpse of my hair and panicked. Pulling back, I took a breath then tried again, this time focusing on his tattoo. Slowly, I moved my gaze from the reflection of the pirate ship to the eyes I hadn’t really seen in years. They were afraid, but browner than I remembered.

“I have my dad’s eyes,” I whispered.

“Fuck your stupid dad. Don’t think about him. Think about what I see when I look at you. See what I see and you can learn to love yourself the way I love you.”

His words giving me courage, I noticed a change in the mirror. “When I think about you and how good you feel against me, my eyes get pretty.”

Judd glanced over his shoulder and looked into the mirror. “They’re fucking gorgeous. I could stare at them forever and I plan to.”

Moving safely away from the reflection, I stared up at him and smiled. “I feel brave when I have you with me.”

“You make me brave too, angel. I never wanted anything more than what I had because I might lose it. When I’d see Kirk playing family man, I’d think that was never going to be me. Hell, sometimes having Pearl around was too damn much. Now, I think about what he has and it seems possible because you’ll be with me.”

Judd took my hand and we walked back to the couch. “When I was on the road, I saw this commercial about Disneyworld and I thought about how ridiculous it would be for me to be there, playing family man like Kirk does. I tried to imagine pushing one of those stroller things and it seemed stupid. Then, I imagined you walking next to me and it wasn’t so stupid. It was something possible.”

“I’m not ready to have a kid,” I blurted out.

Judd sighed. “Thank God. Neither am I.”

Grinning, I caressed his lips. “But one day, when I’m who I need to be, I think I would be ready. I just need to focus on you and me for a while.”

“Yes, a million times, yes.”

“Why did you bring it up, if you’re so against having kids?”

“Not having kids,” Judd said, running a hand through his dark hair. “Just having them now. I’m still not sure if I can be a decent man for you, so piling the responsibility of being a dad on top of that is too fucking much. I might be older than you, but when it comes to commitment, I’m as immature as a pasty faced teenager.”

“I find your immaturity really sexy,” I said, leaning back on the couch and lifting my legs into the air. “See how wet it makes me?”

Judd stared longingly at my panties then exhaled uneasily. “This food can be reheated.”

“It’ll have to be,” I said, pulling the wife beater down to show off my hard nipples. “All the talk of babies, Disneyworld, mirrors, and every other damn thing that comes out of your mouth got me all kinds of worked up.”

As Judd ran his index finger down the slit of my panties, I moaned.

“I have a confession,” he said, sliding off the couch and kissing my panties. “I love polka dots on a chick.”

“I love polka dots too, but please take them off and show me what else you love.” Judd lifted a brow and waited. “Please,” I added and he grinned.

“My woman has the best manners,” Judd said, but I had already lost the ability to respond as his fingers began exploring.

Only hours home and Judd was already making me happier and stronger than I ever imagined.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Christmas shopping was one of the best experiences in my life. Judd and I decided our gifts should be sexy clothes for me from Victoria’s Secret. First we shopped for family. Judd bought a few smelly candles for his mom, a gift card at a classy older woman’s store, plus a plush red bathrobe. I found a pretty red sweater for Farah, a bright pink sweat suit for Bailey, several cute tees for Lark, and a sexy red babydoll for Cooper who would enjoy Farah wearing it.

Finally, Judd and I focused on picking our Christmas gifts for each other.

We ended up spending over two thousand dollars at Victoria’s Secret on everything from bras and nightgowns to shorts and sweats. Anything polka dotted was a must. The most entertaining part was how seriously Judd took our search for the perfect clothes for my hot body and his horny enjoyment. He even bought something called a bandeau that looked like a tube top and wasn’t very functional. It was polka dotted though and Judd felt me wearing polka dots was the hottest thing in the world. Well, he also enjoyed stripping the polka dots off me.

In the dressing room with him, I suffered from the worst kind of giggles. Plus, the intense look on his face made me certain we would fuck right there. Giving him a naughty grin, I watched him shiver with lust.

“Stop teasing,” he growled.

“We can keep one of the sexy outfits for tonight, but the rest are Christmas presents. That way we’ll have lots of stuff to open. I really like opening presents even when I know what’s inside and even if I know I’ll hate it. When I was little, my grandma would buy me blocks to help my brain get better or something. I hated blocks, but I loved the wrapping.”

Judd caressed my jaw line and smiled softly. “I’m having Kathy track down the nicest fucking wrapping paper on the planet for your first Christmas with me.”

The tenderness in his gaze shot heat to every nerve in my body. Instantly, I stripped off the new stuff and yanked on my clothes.

“Let’s get back home. I have needs, stud.”

“I bet you do,” he said, giving me a cocky grin. “Oh, and I want the red and white babydoll for tonight.”

“Sure, whatever. Let’s go,” I said, shoving my feet into boots. “Please, thank you, mother may I. Whatever I need to say to make this happen.”

Laughing, Judd followed after me and quickly paid for the bags of goodies. Even wanting him inside me, I insisted we bring everything upstairs before having fun. In fact, while I slid into the babydoll he liked so much, Judd put together the little white Christmas tree. By the time I appeared to tempt him into nudity, the living room flashed with pink and blue colors.

“It’s a little girl’s tree,” he said before glancing at me. “Holy hell.”

“Do you not like the tree?”

“It’s fucking awesome,” he said, peeling off his shirt. “I don’t know if I want you naked or to keep you in that while I…”

Grinning, I swayed my hips and made the babydoll’s material swing. “Let’s see how long you can keep this on me?”

“Shit.”

“I know you’re horny when you lose the ability to speak in anything other than cuss words.”

“Fuck.”

Laughing, I turned away and leaned against the bed before swinging my butt for him.

“I’m waiting,” I said softly,

“Hell,” he said, truly unable to form other words.

My laughter died as he stripped down and began to explore. The thin matching panties were soon slid over, so his tongue could get a taste. Gasping, I spread my legs wider and we sighed in unison once he filled me completely.

“Best Christmas ever,” I moaned as he started thrusting.

Judd groaned. “What you said.”

Later, we cuddled under a blanket on the couch and watched the tree. With a little smile on his face, Judd glanced at Pearl who was fascinated by the flashing lights.

“This is nice,” he finally said. “Not smothering, but comfortable and relaxed.”

“Tomorrow, we’ll go to Farah’s and do the family thing. Are you ready for that?”

“As long as I don’t have to sing or do a lot of smiling, it’ll be fine.”

“Your mom is coming for Christmas dinner. Will you sing then?”

“Only if she gives me her disappointed mom look.”

“Vaughn is coming too. I hope that’s okay.”

Judd exhaled hard. “Maybe you ought to have asked me that before you invited him?”

“But you might have said no and I wasn’t looking for a disagreement. He has no one to spend Christmas with.”

“I know he gets lonely during the holidays, but he’s always weird around you. If that happens on Christmas, I’m beating his head in with a pipe.”

“Where will you get the pipe?” I asked, licking his shoulder.

Judd grinned. “Let’s keep the sexy Christmas presents stuff to ourselves, okay?”

“What if your mom asks what we got each other?”

“We lie.”

“Yeah, honesty is for suckers.”

Judd cupped my face in his strong hand. “Are you happy, angel?”

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life.”

Judd pulled me closer. “Just remember that when I act like an asshole and you want out.”

“Roger that, stud,” I said, kissing his jaw. “You could also not act like an asshole. It might save us some time.”

“You’d think, but nope.”

Laughing, I relaxed against him and soaked in this new life we were building. Here in our home with our girly tree and fascinated cat, we prepared to share our first Christmas together.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Arriving at the house for Christmas Eve dinner, I was surprised when Farah opened the door and lunged into my arms. I held her against me as she nearly smothered me with affection. Even without saying a word, I knew she felt overwhelmed by her first great Christmas. Finally achieving a life like Mrs. Prescott’s, Farah worried she’d ruin her good fortune.

“We got a tree,” I told Farah as she finally eased out of my arms. “A little one, but it’s pretty. Girly too. More proof that I own Judd’s hot ass.”

“Fuck yeah, you do,” he said, giving a sly grin.

“Don’t cuss in front of baby Jesus,” I warned, gesturing towards the lawn ornaments.

Sighing, Judd shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “This is going to be a long night.”

Ignoring him, I held Farah’s hand and entered a house smelling of cookies. As Christmas music played quietly overhead, Cooper leaned against the fireplace mantle while talking to Aaron. In the kitchen, Bailey waved me over to where she and Sawyer baked cookies.

“Look, I’m domesticated,” Bailey announced, handing Sawyer a cookie to add to the sheet.

Giving her a hug, I grabbed a warm cookie. “I’m helping Zaria make Christmas dinner. You and me are both Holly Homemaker now.”

Smiling, Bailey gave Judd a head nod. “We have to leave in an hour because Sawyer needs to get to bed early so Santa can come.”

The wild haired little girl grinned up at me. “I barely made the Nice List, but squeaked in at the last minute.”

Laughing, I fiddled with her ponytail and wondered about having a kid. When I glanced at Judd, he might have been thinking about the same thing because his expression was one of horror.

“Two or three years from now,” I said and his blue eyes lit up.

Kissing the top of my head, he grinned. “Look at my angel reading minds.”

“Ew,” Sawyer muttered, jumping off the stool and running to Cooper who scooped her up into his strong arms.

Farah appeared next to me and leaned against my shoulder. Her gaze on Cooper, she sighed. “He wants one soon. We’ll likely start trying after the wedding.”

Hugging her against me, I glanced at Judd who again looked like a cornered animal.

“We’ll babysit the kid sometimes when it’s not teething or gassy or stuff.”

Laughing, Farah hugged me tighter then whispered, “What if I’m a bad mom?”

“Why would you be?”

“We were raised like shit. Coop says I’ll be good at it, but I’m scared. Seeing Maddy take to everything so easy makes me think I won’t.”

Cupping her face, I smiled. “You took care of me. You take care of Coop and his family. You have a good heart and you’ll be a great mom. You’ll just need to practice at it like you do everything. Maddy is good with kids because she’s had practice. She’ll help you learn. I’ll help you by looking worse at things than you do and that’ll feed your ego.”

Laughing again, Farah hugged me. “This Christmas is so beautiful, but I just keep waiting for something to ruin it.”

“Those men are dead,” I whispered in her ear. “Mom is gone. Dad wouldn’t come here because he doesn’t know you have money. If he does show up wanting to hassle you, Cooper will take care of it. Nothing can ruin Christmas or our lives here. We’ve started over and the world will just have to get used to that fact.”

Farah gave me a weird look. “Grandma is coming to the wedding.”

“Good. She’ll see you’re successful and tell all of our loser family about it. They’ll hate us, but she’ll also tell them how you have a scary rich husband. They might want to sponge off our good fortunes, but they’ll know not to. Having Grandma come is a great thing.”

“She can also see how good you’re doing,” Farah said, grinning.

“Yeah, she might even remember my name and everything.”

“Oh, Tanya, don’t be like that.” Giggling, we realized our men were waiting for attention. “They get so needy.”

“Wait until Coop sees the Christmas gift I bought you,” I said, giving her a wink. “He’ll be needy all night long.”

Bursting into laughter, Farah looked ready to shove everyone out of the house and open her gift. Instead, Cooper appeared with my gift.

“Open it,” he said, crossing his arms and trying to intimidate me.

“No.”

“There’s a speech that goes with the gift and I can’t do it on the phone. Open it, employee.”

Rolling my eyes, I unwrapped the gift, careful to avoid tearing the beautiful snowman themed paper. I stared at the laptop then at Cooper.

“Thank you, but what do I need a laptop for?”

“You’ll use it to finish high school. This is the beginning of my speech, by the way.”

Frowning, I turned to Farah for support, but she only smiled. “It’s okay, Tawny. You can finish high school online, so there’ll be no classes to go to. No pressure either. You can take your time and do one subject at a time. We’ll even hire you a tutor, if you want.”

“Why?”

Cooper looked ready to wrap an arm around my shoulders for his big brother speech, but Judd sent out a male signal indicating how violence would result from any touching. Rolling his eyes, Cooper sighed.

“To be part of my organization, you need to be fearless. I saw how badass you can be when you dealt with the mole. You also put up with this asshole, so I know you’re a brave little bitch,” Cooper said, grinning at Judd. “High school beat you though. You need to defeat that fear you have of school. Get your diploma and know you can do whatever you want, even if you fucking hate it. If I can do law school, you can finish high school. Besides, if you don’t promise to work for your diploma, you’re not working for me. I can’t have you afraid of anything.”