Damon (17 page)

The breeze was fresh and cool and so delicious it made me dizzy. I held onto the post and slowly opened my eyes.

Greenery surrounded me everywhere I looked. The most vibrant greens I’d ever seen. It was so beautiful and clean and alive, so refreshing, like a cool drink of water.

I wanted to fall face first in the grass and just stay there until I turned green, too.

“Honey, your sandwich is ready,” Aunt Cynthia said through the screen door.

“Can I have it out here?”

“Well… sure, I don’t see why not.”

The last thing I wanted was food right then, but she had gone to the effort and expense to fix it for me. I sat down on the steps and took the plate when she joined me outside. She sat down beside me, so I had no choice but to try to put a dent in the tuna sandwich she’d cut into four sections, like Gram used to do.

“Here’s your juice,” she said, setting the glass beside me. “You need some vitamins. Don’t knock it over.”

I threw her an annoyed glance. My nerves had calmed some but my temper hadn’t improved.

“You know what I was thinking,” she said in a brighter voice. “My lease is up at the end of the month and I’ve enjoyed seeing you and Sonya so much. I thought maybe I’d move back home. I could take Mama’s old room and help out with the work and expenses. You’d have more free time. What d’ya think? Would you mind that?”

“Well, Damon’s using that room. But--”

“He is?” she interrupted with obvious offense. “Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you know the house is legally mine. Mama left it to me alone. I just didn’t want to uproot you and Sonya.”

“You don’t have to threaten me,” I told her, holding a potato chip like a weapon. “I was just going to say that Damon could move into my room.”

She rubbed her forehead then reached for her case and lit another cigarette. “I’m sorry, hon, I’ve just been under a lot of pressure lately. I guess you’re old enough to hear these things now. I lost my job and I had to sell some of my things to pay last month’s rent. I haven’t been able to come up with this month’s yet. When you get my age it’s not easy to start over. Especially when you have no real skills. I didn’t get anything out of my divorce except debts.”

“I’ve got two hundred you can have.”

She tapped my shoulder twice. “Oh bless you, hon, but I can’t take your hard-earned money. If I can move home then I won’t have rent to worry about and I can pay off my debts. I wonder if I could get my old job back in the school cafeteria.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I have lots of good friends. Someone will help me. I’m so homesick, Maggie. When you get to be my age--”

Damon threw open the back door so turbulently Aunt Cynthia and I jumped where we sat, and one of us knocked over the juice glass, which sent us scrambling to keep from getting wet. Damon held out his hand to me. “C’mon. I need to tell you something.”

I quickly handed Aunt Cynthia my plate and went with him inside the house. “Where were you?”

He wouldn’t answer and led us into the tiny bathroom in the hall. He shut and locked the door, then pushed me up against the wall.

“What happened?” I asked, worried by his intense attitude.

He kissed me as if we’d been apart for a week, his hands roaming my body until my muscles softened and turned warm, and I could barely remember the last hours of distress.

“Did the voice come back?” he asked, still kissing my face and lips.

I clung to him. “No, but you left me alone. I had an anxiety attack.”

He stepped back, just enough to look me in the eye. “I had to go, baby. We have to hurry now before neither of us can think straight. I’ve got news. But, this first. This will help.”

He reached into his pocket and showed me an object that looked like a thick pen, except it wasn’t. I knew what it was. My grandmother had been diabetic in her later years. It was a lancing device. We sold them at the drugstore. With the click of a lever, a needle shot up from the plastic case.

“This won’t leave scars,” he said.

He used it, making several close neat holes in a vein at the top of his forearm, just beneath his elbow where the veins were thick and blue. A pool of blood began to form in the crease of his arm. “Here,” he said. “C’mon. It’s okay.”

I wanted to resist, but the taste was fresh on my tongue and Damon’s soothing voice broke down my self-control.

I drank until he made me stop, my body coming alive in a way food and water could never accomplish. And then I lay on the bathmat in delirious euphoria as Damon drank from behind my knee, where no one would see the marks.

I didn’t know how long we lay there holding each other, amazed by the swirling colors in the air, the tingling in our bodies, and the beautiful music of our voices.

Until Aunt Cynthia banged on the door and asked, “Are y’all all right in there? Others need to use the bathroom.”

Damon and I forced ourselves to move. We showered and dressed, feeling rejuvenated and happy. I loved him, I loved myself, I loved the world and everything in it! And I knew in my heart that the voice in my head wouldn’t return. I was so powerful now I wouldn’t let it return.

I had absolute control.

When we were ready, Damon opened the door and leaned his head out to look both ways, then he led me from the bathroom by the hand, staying close to the wall. I couldn’t have guessed why he was acting sneaky, but he was so funny and adorable I wanted to attack him there in the hall and kiss him all over, from the tips of his ears to his toenails.

His human movements were so very appealing.

When we stepped into the living room, Damon straightened and put on a serious face. Mama was still sitting on the sofa, having one of her silent mornings, and Aunt Cynthia was reading the paper in the scratchy chair.

She folded the paper noisily and gave us an annoyed look as she pushed up from the chair. “You two were in there for over an hour. I only have one bathroom.”

She walked past us and went into the bathroom. I could only hope no stray drops of blood had escaped our quick inspection.

I trailed my fingers through the air so Mama would look up at us. She slowly turned her head to catch the flying movement. “Guess what, Mama. Damon and I are getting married.”

Damon stood beside me and tightened his grip around my waist. I didn’t know why I’d said that. We hadn’t discussed marriage. But the notion had been planted in my head like a solid fact. When I looked up at Damon, he nodded seriously. “Soon,” he said.

“This weekend in our gazebo.”

Mama stared at me blankly, blinking slowly. “Will the birds be there?” she asked.

“Sure, Mama, it’s springtime.”

“That’s fine, then,” she said.

“C’mon, I’ll show you something,” Damon told me.

We turned but stopped abruptly when Aunt Cynthia came out of the bathroom with a wild expression on her face. She was in our way, I suddenly realized. Her clear mind and sharp eyes were in our way. We had to pretend around her. And now she was moving home with us. I couldn’t stop her.

“Guess what, Aunt Cynthia, Damon and I are getting married.”

“This weekend,” he added.

She stared at us for a long moment, then blinked. “You are? Why so soon?”

“Because we can,” Damon said, deliberately trying to goad her.

She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “Are you two doing drugs in my house?”

“No—” I began.

“Because I won’t have you doing that on my property,” she interrupted. “It’s cocaine, isn’t it.”

Not even a question. I’d never so much as smoked a cigarette in my life, let alone used cocaine. But Damon’s blood was like a drug, it had that effect on me, and I guessed that my eyes were too wide again, my skin too flushed, and my mannerisms too flamboyant.

Damon aimed a sharp finger at Mama. “She’s the only one doing drugs in this house.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Aunt Cynthia said.

“We’re in love,” Damon told her. “I guess that’s something you can’t recognize.”

Her mouth flew open and her eyes turned wild. “Well, you better not be,” was all she had left to say.

“We’re going out,” Damon told the room. He snatched up my purse and pulled me along by the hand.

I couldn’t stay mad. I loved the world. I smiled and waved at my small family and trotted to keep up as we went out the front door.

It was so wonderful to be able to run off whenever I wanted and know Mama was taken care of. No worries.

God, I loved them all so much.

My life was perfect.

CHAPTER TEN

Soon we were driving the city streets. Damon pretended to know where he was going, but it seemed to me we were driving randomly, he was driving recklessly, and soon we found ourselves in a rather unsavory part of town.

I checked to make sure my door was locked. “Where are we going?”

Damon drove without speaking, keeping his lips tight and his eyes on the road.

“Are you hearing voices again?” I asked.

Damon remained silent.

“You’re afraid if you open your mouth his voice will come out?”

“I don’t want your aunt living with us,” he said.

Oh, that. He’d only shrugged when I’d told him as we were leaving Cynthia’s, but apparently, he wasn’t okay with it. I wasn’t too happy about it, either. “It won’t be so bad. She can take care of Mama sometimes.”

“She wants your grandmother’s room.”

“Well, the house really belongs to her, Damon, so I can’t stop her. Gram left it to her in the will. She just let me keep it when she moved away. Ran away, I mean.”

“And so odd man out?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his pun. “Well, I thought you’d move into my room,” I said with a chuckle. “Since we’ll be married. If we’re still planning to do that.”

“You’d let me in your room?” he asked. He still wouldn’t look at me.

“Let you? I think you’ve been in my room more than I have.”

He finally glanced at me. “Could you stand being married to a crazy freak?”

“You’re not a crazy freak.”

He grunted. “That answer doesn’t mean anything.”

“I love you, Damon, just the way you are.” Unless…. “Do you really want to marry me?” I asked.

“If I can’t have you I’m going to kill myself,” he said with tired seriousness, rubbing his forehead. “I’m done looking. You’re the one. The only one. Nothing else matters.”

He wasn’t making a grand romantic declaration, I could easily see, he was just stating facts, as he saw them.

“Don’t talk about killing yourself, okay?” I told him. “Mama talked about it and then she tried to.”

“And you tried to…” his jaw muscles bulged “… over
Teddy
. You bled for him.”

His jealousy didn’t pass me by and I was secretly flattered. “I was having a super-hard time with Mama back then, which was the real problem. His rejection just set it off. I never loved him. It was an impulse decision. Dr. Sanderson said my reaction to stress wasn’t normal, but understandable. I had the whole world on my shoulders and I wasn’t even old enough to drink. I went to therapy for two years and I’m much better now.”

“Naw, you’re okay,” he assured me with a sigh and a pat on the knee. “You always have been. You know how to muddle through.”

“Thanks.” It was a lie but I appreciated the gesture.

He reached over and grabbed my hand. “I’m about to throw up.”

“Do you need to pull over?” I asked with alarm. I looked around the car for a cup or anything useful. “How close are you?” I asked.

“I’m afraid you’ll leave me,” he said in a soft voice.

I watched him and tried to guess what was going on. “Are you not really going to throw up?”

“I could, but I’m not going to.”

I sat back and let out a breath. “You scared me.”

He found my hand again and squeezed hard. “What we did was like a consummation. It’s like we’re already married. I’ve got your blood in me and that makes you mine. You said you loved me.”

I didn’t like having this conversation while driving. He sure knew how to pick his moments.

“I do love you, and I’m not leaving. But let’s talk about it later.”

“Look in my pocket,” he said.

Eagerly, I changed the subject with him. “Which one?”

“Front, right.”

It wasn’t easy to get my hand in his jeans pocket with him sitting down. He stretched as much as he could and I maneuvered my hand inside the pocket.

A ring came out in my hand. It was so pretty. Silver with a large square emerald framed by eight diamonds. “Is that where you were? Getting the emerald cut for me?”

“No, there wasn’t time. I kept the box for you,” he said with a slight grin. “But I wanted the ring handy when I got up the nerve.”

“Where’d you get this? At a real jewelry store?”

He frowned. “Of course. I bought it when I went out earlier. That’s the real thing, baby. Nothing but the finest gems will ever touch your skin.”

I slipped the ring onto my ring finger and it was a close enough fit. I didn’t know much about the cost of jewelry, but I had to assume the diamonds alone were worth a small fortune. “It’s just right. How’d you know?”

“Take it off till we say our vows.”

I did and stared down at the ring. I was a little stunned. I was very stunned. The ring wasn’t just pretty, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

I leaned over and gave him a distracted kiss on the neck. “I love it almost as much as I love you.”

He fought off a grin and gave me a sly glance. “Marry me today.”

“Today?” I looked at the handsome, mesmerizing man sitting beside me, then the beautiful, sparkling ring in my hand. All reason must have left me because the idea made my stomach clench with a swirling, giddy pleasure. The impetuous personality that slept inside me woke up, and a wicked thrill overtook my senses.

My rational side was fighting but losing fast. I was going to say yes within the next few seconds. Vaguely, it occurred to me that everything Damon had said in the car had been leading up to this moment. He’d been sick with nerves about asking and afraid I would refuse. The thrill of knowing I could have that effect on him was impossible to ignore. I believed he really did love me.