Dance (11 page)

Chapter ten

Jared

By the time
Jared packed all his stuff and arrived at Queen Victoria, the
Poison
staff meeting had adjourned. He
went to the dressing room to look for Fenix, but he was not there. Dumping his
bags on the floor, Jared walked out and headed towards the rehearsal room. He
had a suspicion that’s where he’d find Fenix, since he probably hadn’t had time
to do any dancing before the meeting.

The
rehearsal room was made like a replica of the main stage hall, only much
smaller. There were a few rows of seats, a stage, complete with lights, music
system and even a curtain. Jared felt the bass of the music before he heard the
rest of the melody. When he walked closer, he realised it was ‘My Songs Know
What You Did in the Dark’ by Fall
Out
Boy. They had
discovered early on that they had similar tastes in music and Fall
Out
Boy was a mutual favourite band. Smiling, he pushed the
door open and walked inside to see Fenix dancing on the stage, completely lost
in the moment. He was oblivious to Jared’s presence as he sneaked inside and
sat at the back row, blending with the shadows. Only the stage lights were on,
so it would be difficult for Fenix to spot him, even if he wasn’t completely absorbed
by the dance.

Fenix
was beautiful. The way he moved was out of this world. Jared could not take his
eyes off him as he jumped and flew across the stage, arched his back in an
impossible angle, spread his legs in the most perfect split Jared had ever
seen. Clad only in black leggings, shirtless and barefoot, Fenix was a sight
that imprinted itself in Jared’s brain and, he suspected, would stay there
forever. His smooth, hairless skin was slick with sweat as Fenix leapt into the
air, spreading his arms wide and bowing his back in one flawless move, his
lean, hard muscles flexing as he landed back on the stage effortlessly.

Jared
was gaping. He knew Fenix had to be very good if his musical was offered Queen
Victoria’s main stage, but what he’d just seen was beyond good. It was beyond
any scale of appreciation. Fenix was in a league of his own.

The
song ended and ‘Alone Together’ began. It was a slower, more sensual rhythm,
and Jared’s pulse quickened while Fenix danced as if he was making love to the
song. He moved with leisurely, yet perfectly executed strokes, and he was
exquisite. Jared could not imagine anyone not falling immediately in love with
Fenix. His grace, his charisma and charm drew people in and, judging by
himself
, when you got to know him better, you loved him even
more.

That
was why Adam's reaction was so puzzling. He’d encountered Fenix just a couple
of times and Fenix had never given him any reason to hate him that much. Jared
could not wrap his head around his best friend’s reaction. There must be
something he was not seeing. Adam was not an irrational person.

Lost
in thought and mesmerised by Fenix dancing on stage, Jared did not feel someone
sit beside him until their shoulders brushed. Adam was sitting quietly, and
somewhat apologetically, next to him, looking at the stage straight ahead.
Jared knew his friend well – he was a hot head and often raged and yelled and
slammed doors, but his fury deflated as quickly as it had appeared. So he knew
Adam would seek him out to clear the air when he eventually calmed down, he
just didn’t think it would be so soon.

Jared
waited.

‘Alone
Together
’ ended and ‘Miss Missing You’ started. Fenix
transformed his movements seamlessly to fit the new rhythm.

“I’m
sorry,” Adam said quietly and Jared barely heard him over the music. He nodded,
accepting the
apology,
certain Adam could see him even
if he pretended to watch Fenix. “It’s just... it hurts seeing you like this
with someone else, and after such a short time. You never looked at me like
that even though we were together for so long.”

So
that was the problem! Jared sighed and turned to face Adam, touching his hand
lightly.

“Come
on Adam. You and I were always friends before all else. It was never like that
for us,” he said softly. Adam turned to face him, and Jared had never seen such
raw honesty in his eyes.

“It
was for me,” he whispered, casting his eyes away, unable to meet Jared’s
astonished stare.

What?

Jared
had been certain that they both felt the same way about their relationship. All
these years Adam had never given him any indication he’d felt differently. Was
he trying to say that... that he’d been
in
love
with Jared?

“You’ve
never told me this. Why?” he asked, torn between feelings of guilt and anger.

“Because
I knew you didn't feel the same way,” Adam replied with an annoyed sigh. “It
doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve moved on.”

“It
doesn’t matter?” Jared asked outraged. His best friend, his ex-
lover
, had just admitted he’d been in
love with him and had the audacity to say it didn't matter!

“Would
it change anything?
Would you realise you’ve loved me all
along and come running into my arms?”
Adam asked sarcastically. Jared
shook his head ‘no’. “There’s no happily ever after for us, Jared. But we’ll
always be there for each other, I know that and it’s enough for me.”

Jared
didn’t say anything. He needed some time to process this information. Adam
patted Jared’s knee as if to indicate the conversation was over.

“I
still don’t like him, but if he’s what you want right now, I promise I’ll
behave,” he said before standing up and disappearing as quickly as he’d come.

Jared
was so stunned that he didn’t even hear the music cutting off and Fenix walking
towards him.

“Hey.
You alright?”
Fenix asked as he sat elegantly in the
seat next to him. “I saw you talking to Adam.
Everything OK?”

Jared
shook his head and summarized everything Adam had said today, not leaving out
his harsh words or the admission of his feelings for Jared. Fenix listened, his
face expressionless, until Jared stopped talking.

“I
understand,” he said with an easy shrug.

“You
understand?” Jared asked incredulously. “What part?”

“All
of it. I can see why he thinks I’m using you,” Fenix said raising a
shoulder
 
again
. “And
how could he not fall in love with you? Of course he had. Look at you.”

Fenix
said all that so easily, without any offense or affliction in his voice and
Jared instantly relaxed. Maybe part of his problem had been how Fenix would
react to Adam's accusations. But as usual, Fenix had been kind and considerate,
and Jared felt the last of his remaining anger and confusion drain out of his
body. He cupped the back of Fenix’s head, bringing him closer for a quick kiss,
then touched their foreheads together and whispered,

“Let’s
go home.”

It turned out
there was nothing to eat at Fenix’s flat.
Literally.
All the contents of the fridge could be summed up as half a lemon, a tomato,
three cans of Red Bull, and a questionable looking piece of cheese.

“How
do you even survive on your own?” Jared asked as he slammed the fridge door
shut and looked at Fenix, puzzled.

“I
don’t cook a lot.
Or at all.
Joy feeds me most of the
time, or I order take out from the Japanese place around the corner,” Fenix
replied, flopping down on the sofa. Jared rolled his eyes.

“Come
on,” he beckoned, already headed to the front door.

“What?
Where? We just got here!” protested Fenix. He looked so comfortable and
delicious sprawled on the sofa, but Jared was determined to get some food
before any clothes came off.

“To the supermarket.
We need to buy
some groceries. I’m not asking Joy to cook for all three of us and we’re not
ordering take out every single night. Besides, you like my cooking.”

Fenix
grumbled, but got up. He walked to Jared and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“I
do. And I like some other stuff you’re very talented at,” he said, leaning in
for a kiss.

“Later,
handsome,” Jared said as he pushed Fenix gently away. “You’re not going to
distract me with kisses. We’re going.”

He
turned on his heel and opened the door, followed closely behind by a pouting
Fenix.

Two hours, a
dozen shopping bags, and a very unhappy Fenix later, Jared was making a stir
fry in the kitchen while Fenix dozed off on the sofa. It was so domestic, so
comfortable and
right
that Jared
could not believe it had happened so
fast
.
He’d never particularly wanted a boyfriend or a happily ever after, but now
that he had at least one of those, Jared felt content. He hadn’t even realised
he’d needed that so much. He missed having a family. He missed his mum.

A
knock on the door stopped his bleak thoughts from growing even darker. He
glanced at Fenix who was peacefully napping and hadn’t even stirred at the
knocking. Well, Jared was going to live here for the next three weeks so he
might as well start opening the door, right?

He
padded barefoot to the front door and swung it open, only to see a petit blonde
woman in her early twenties with delicate features and long hair tied in a
messy bun at the back of her neck. Her bright green eyes widened as she took
him in, clearly not expecting to see anyone but Fenix here.

“Oh, hi.
You must be Jared,”
she said and smiled warmly, extending her hand. “I’m Joy, Fenix’s friend. I
live in the flat downstairs and thought I heard someone walking...” she trailed
off as Jared shook her hand and smiled in amusement. “OK, I’m shutting up now.
I just wanted to check on Fenix because he hasn’t been home since... since he
met you actually.” Joy grinned and Jared’s own smile widened.

“Nice to meet you, Joy.
Fenix has told
me a lot about you.”

“But
he hasn’t told me nearly enough about you,” she joked.

“Do
you want to come in? I’m making dinner and he’s sleeping on the sofa. I’m
afraid I wore him out in Tesco’s.”

“You
managed to get
him
to Tesco’s? Wow,
he must really be in love with you,” she said as she walked in. Jared was taken
aback for a second by her off-handed comment, but he had to admit that he liked
the idea. Was Fenix in love with him? It certainly wasn’t just fucking, but
they hadn’t actually said the words yet. He was pretty sure what he was feeling
was love – he’d never felt such tenderness, such affection, and such fierce
protectiveness for another guy, so what else could it be but love? It was all
new to him, so he guessed it must be new to Fenix too. The idea of Fenix being
in love with someone else before him was nauseating.

Joy
was wonderful. They talked quietly in the kitchen as Jared chopped and fried
the vegetables and steamed some rice. He invited her to stay for dinner and she
happily accepted. He could see why she was Fenix’s best friend – she was as
easy-going and lovely as him.

Dinner
was ready and Jared turned off the hob and the extractor fan, filling three
plates with stir fry and rice. Just then it occurred to him that Fenix didn't
have a dining table.

“Where
are we going to eat?” he asked Joy.

“Oh,
usually we just throw some cushions on the floor around the coffee table.
Neither of us is a big eater anyway,” she said, taking some cutlery and napkins
out of a drawer.

Yeah,
they all had to watch what they ate and work out regularly. After all, they had
to sing and dance without catching their breaths at least four times a week.
Jared imagined it must be even harder for Fenix and Joy since their show was
much more energetic than
Of Kids and
Monsters
.

Fenix
stirred and opened an eye as Joy moved around him, pulling cushions from under
him to set them around the small coffee table.

“Stop
that,” he groaned. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m
helping Jared with dinner. Unlike you,” she scorned, hitting him playfully on
the head with one of the cushions.

Jared
laughed and brought the full plates to the table, giving Fenix a soft kiss and
sitting next to him. They ate and talked, all of them completely at ease, as if
they’d known each other for years. It felt good. Jared had a sudden thought
that he wanted Adam here as well. It saddened him that it may never happen.
Adam had promised to behave around Fenix, but that didn't mean they’d ever get
along.

After
dinner, they watched a little bit of
CSI
:Miami
before Joy excused herself to leave. Fenix walked her to the door and Jared saw
them whispering before she gave him a hug and with one last wave at Jared,
left.

“What
were you two whispering about?” Jared asked when Fenix cuddled back to him on
the sofa.

“Nothing.”

“Yeah?
You seemed pretty
happy to be whispering about nothing.”