Dancing with Detective Danger (8 page)

“I love you, Sterling.” His voice sounded raspy in her ear, emotion tumbling out. “I’ve never stopped.”

With every kiss Ben pressed to her hair, Sterling’s heart rose higher in her throat. His lips softly, hesitantly, touched hers. They felt warm and so invitingly tender. Weakly, she pressed her face into the hollow of his neck as he nuzzled her hair. She breathed in the warm, earthy scent of Ben — the only man who had ever gotten to her like this.

His touch opened a door she’d closed and fiercely guarded since the day she told him goodbye. All the emotions she’d let dam up poured out in a torrent that swept her along at a ferocious velocity. Her breath labored. She had to slow things down, think. Instead, she reached up to hold Ben’s face between her hands, and found herself captured by the intense longing in his eyes.

Gripping her tightly, Ben seared her lips with a hard, hungry kiss. “There’s been no one else, you know,” he said, his voice thick.

Effortlessly, he wrapped Sterling in his arms, lifted her off her feet and carried her through the apartment to his bedroom. Gently, almost reverently, he laid her on his bed. Sterling felt his strength and knew he could overpower her. Ben stood above her, lean, agile, and assured, like a wildcat. But gentleness softened his power and she knew she wasn’t his prey. Compelled by some deep hunger of her soul, she wanted this as much as he did.

His eyes — dark blue pools of heat — drew her in. Fears of the future drowned in those steady, simmering eyes. Ben pulled off his tie and shrugged off his suit coat. It fell silently to the floor and lay in a pool of moonlight filtering in through the window.

Starkly, his holster contrasted against his white shirt, reminding her: Danger rode on Ben’s coat tails.

Quickly, he tossed the holstered gun into the corner, unbuttoned his shirt, and stripped naked. Just as quickly, the fearful thoughts were driven from her mind by the restless winds of passion Ben stirred inside her.

He lay down beside her and slid a warm hand inside her blouse, slipping it off one shoulder, then the other. Her breathing grew ragged as he took a nip of her shoulder. Traveling up to her waiting mouth, he teased it, taking his time to appreciate every sensuous delight.

Sterling couldn’t stand it. The love she’d denied herself coursed through her body, firing her senses as though no time had passed. She wanted to feel him, all of him, with no holding back. She nipped at his ear, traced kisses down the angular line of his jaw, then gave life to her passion with a long, furious kiss.

Ben wrenched off her remaining clothes and pulled her on top of him. Sterling moaned instinctively as he ran a finger down her spine and caressed the small of her back. Hungrily, he kissed her lips, plunging his tongue to taste of her deeply. Delicious tremors shivered through her as their thighs slid side by side.

Slowly, Sterling raked her breasts against the curling dark mat on his chest, savoring the feel of Ben.

He took her breasts in his hands, cupping them firmly but gently, and stared transfixed. “So beautiful,” he murmured and rubbed his thumb over a rosy circle. His mouth fastened to her, his tongue driving her passion. A low, primal moan escaped Ben’s throat as he plunged his head between the soft swells, then grabbed hard of her head to face his smoldering gaze.

Ben’s eyes held Sterling’s, coaxing her to match his unabashed intensity. She felt carried along on a wild current of wind so strong, neither one could stop it. Nor wanted to.

Ben pulled her tight and gracefully rolled over on top of her. Her body arched with abandon and she plowed her fingers through his thick, dampened hair, pulling his head close. His lips pressed hot kisses to her abdomen, licked playfully at her navel, then trailed more kisses along her thigh, taking her faster and deeper into the center of her being where the perfect love waited. Unleashed, it felt so right. She wanted nothing but to fuse completely with him.

Urgent with need, Ben paused only long enough to ensure protection, but coming to her more fiercely, he melted to Sterling, meeting the aching inside her.

As one with Ben, Sterling felt the primal rhythm take her over. Her body rising and falling in synchrony with his, she reveled in the hardness of his sculpted muscles. Her breath was his breath. His tender musings were her thoughts.

As though riding with Ben on a wild wind, Sterling sailed higher and higher into a delicious paradise, where calmness and peace shuddered through her. Breathless and locked with Ben in intimate embrace, she tumbled with him straight downward toward earth, carried by the gentle breeze of satisfaction. Exhausted, she felt a contented rest take her over.

“You should try to get some sleep,” Tyler’s nurse told Lacey. “We’ll keep an eye on your son and if there’s any problem we’ll wake you. But he’s doing just fine. I’d be happy to make up the hide-a-bed for you.”

Even in the dim light from the hall, Lacey could see the woman’s eyes were kind. “Thanks. This chair will be fine.”

“At least take this blanket.”

As the nurse closed the door behind her, Lacey huddled down deeper into the upholstered chair and unfolded the blanket across her lap. Lacey knew the nurse had no way of knowing that it didn’t matter where she rested her head, she would not be sleeping tonight.

The soft sounds of Tyler’s breathing comforted her. The steady rhythm, in and out, in and out, assured Lacey that her son’s accident was just a bump in the road, not another tragedy. But even though sleeplessness ached at the back of her eyes, she would remain vigilant, like a sentry at the watch. It was the only way to make sure nothing would rob her of her cherished loved one.

Thirty minutes later with her strained muscles begging for a stretch, Lacey unfurled from the chair and walked to the window, the blanket pulled around her shoulders. A starless, dark sky blanketed the night, but Lacey suspected the stars, hidden in the glow of the city lights, were twinkling brightly. Invisible, but always there.

Lacey felt a tickle against her ear as one of the rose quartz earrings her sister had given her twisted gently. A shiver shimmied down her spine and her attention was drawn to an image reflected in the window. She blinked hard, twice. The blanket slipped from her fingers and cascaded around her feet. “Nicholas?” Freezing to the spot facing the window, Lacey squeezed her eyes shut. “You’re really letting your imagination run wild, Lacey,” she said, talking to herself out loud and not daring to open her eyes.

Then she smelled it. The subtle sweetness of apple blossoms made familiar by association.

The scent reminded her of a loved voice, a strong shoulder, a sweet smile. And, oh, how much she’d missed it all. She stood captured in the implausibility of the moment.

“No, you’re not imagining anything, honey.”

Still facing the window, Lacey slowly opened her eyes, a delicious feeling of finding something once lost lighting in her heart. “Nicholas,” she breathed. Her husband’s unmistakable sparkling eyes reflecting back at her melted all disbelief. “But how … is this magic?”

Lacey felt his touch on her shoulder, so warm and known, and chanced to turn and look directly at her beloved Nicholas, or at least at the dream of him.

“No, it’s not magic, it’s love. Don’t worry about how. Just know I’m here now, Lacey.” Nick drew her into his arms. “I’ve missed you so much.”

There was no mistaking it, this was really Nicholas. She knew his presence as surely as she knew her own home.

Nestled against his chest, all the fears and longings Lacey had been carrying around for two years seeped away into thin air.

“Oh, how I’ve longed for this,” she said.

“I know. I felt it too,” Nick said, gently stroking her hair. “I had to find a way to reach you.”

Lacey made herself pull away from his embrace. “I have so many questions. But I’m afraid.”

Nick cupped her face in his hand and tilted her chin up to him. Closing his eyes, he pressed a tender kiss to her lips, sending her senses spiraling. It had been so long since she’d felt so loved. Tears welled from her eyes and drifted down her cheeks.

“Don’t be afraid, Lacey,” Nick said, brushing away her tears. “And don’t cry, love. I’m never far away now. And I promise I’ll answer all your questions.”

Fear instantly ignited in her heart. “You’re leaving, aren’t you.”

“I have to go, but don’t worry, I’ll be back. Nothing can keep me from you, Lacey. Just believe that.”

In an instant, Nicholas was gone. Lacey stood in the hospital room, alone with the sounds of her sleeping son.

• • •

Sterling rolled over in bed, the rich aroma of coffee filling her head. She stretched lazily, opened her eyes, and gazed around Ben’s bedroom.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Ben said, sauntering into the room with the German Shepherd padding closely behind him.

The scent of Ben freshly showered wafted around her as he bent low and laid a kiss to her cheek. It was a scent that had always been heady medicine to her. “You shouldn’t have let me sleep so late,” Sterling said, glancing at the clock beside the bed.

“Seven-thirty. Yeah, that’s real late, you lazy thing,” he teased, standing in front of the dresser and adjusting his collar to fit his tie.

“I notice you’re dressed.” A hint of guilt plucked at her conscious.
I should be dressed and ready for work, too, instead of lying here naked in Ben’s bed.
Was it her imagination, or did he seem a little distant?

“You know me. I get restless if I stay in bed too long. Are you ready for coffee or would you like to shower first?”

“The coffee smells great. I’ll come out in the kitchen.” Sterling caught his look in her radar
. What is he thinking?

“Okay, you know where my robe is, so help yourself. And take your time.” He walked out the door and headed to the kitchen without a backward glance.

Ben’s blue terrycloth robe snugged around her body, Sterling padded barefoot through the apartment and sat in the kitchen chair where he’d set a mug of coffee on the table. She nestled both hands around the cup and drew a mouthful. It tasted wonderful. He sure knew how to make a good cup of coffee. She slowly sipped it, all the while peering at Ben as he set breakfast in front of her.

“Western omelet and a slice of wheat toast,” he said, sitting down to his own plate across the table from her.

“You remembered how I like it,” she mused.

“Oh, you need a fork.”

Automatically, Sterling reached for the utensil drawer and pulled out forks for both of them.

“You remembered.” Ben’s eyes bored inside her.

Sterling shifted uncomfortably in her chair and glanced around the small kitchen. From the old silver toaster to the plain white cotton curtains at the window, the kitchen looked as she remembered it. “You haven’t changed things.”

“That’s true.” He took a gulp of coffee to wash down his eggs. “I haven’t really thought much about wallpaper patterns or curtains.”

The phone on the wall rang and Ben jumped up to get it. No question the department was on the other end. Sterling tuned out the words he spoke as all of her attention converged on the sight of him. The tilt of his head, the glossy darkness of his hair, the way he held his mouth in concentration.

Ben turned to look at her, unleashed a smile, and winked.

Sterling’s pulse jumped a dizzying degree. Ben seemed so profoundly alive. She’d missed that. It would be so easy to step back into his life. To hardly miss a beat. Like hitting pause on the remote, then turning the movie back on without affecting the story at all.

Ben hung up the phone and walked around the table, pulling Sterling to her feet. Placing his hands on her hips, he drew her to him and brushed her lips with his. The kiss felt sweet and coaxing. A nuzzle in her hair brought the sound of his breathing up close, wrapping around her thoughts and tugging at her heart. She remembered so many things. His zest for living. His boundless self-confidence. And how when they were together his careless disregard for safety had intrigued her and excited her as much as it had frightened her.
He says he’s changed.

But his apartment told a different story. Newspapers piled in small heaps around the living room. Dishes stacked on the kitchen counter. Damp towels lying carelessly on the bathroom floor. All indications that the slightly tamed Ben Kirby retained much of his former self.

Uninvited sensations shimmered through her, set in motion by Ben’s insistent kisses to her neck. He looked down at her, one finger softly tracing the upward tilt of her nose.

Trembling, Sterling pulled back. “This is all too easy. I walked right back in as though nothing has changed.”

Ben released her, staring at her through hollow eyes, his jaw tight. “Things have changed. I told you, I’ve changed.”

Turning away, she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I know where you keep your things. I know this place as well as I know my own apartment. It would be so easy to go on from here.” Whirling to face him, Sterling tried to calm the fears threatening to choke her. “But nothing has changed. The reason I couldn’t be with you is still there. There is no happy ending for people like us.” Now she knew what had been in his eyes earlier. He’d already suspected she would come to her senses.

“What, you’re going to pretend last night never happened?”

“That’s right,” she said. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

“But it did. And it meant something, Sterling. At least it did to me.”

It scared her how much emotion raged inside her. She didn’t want to think about how close to the edge she felt, how vulnerable. This dance with Ben was something she could not do.

Ben shook his head. “You can’t spend your whole life shoring up against getting hurt.”

Speechless, Sterling tried harder to wall off her mind, her heart. Ben was too close. “Do you think you’ve figured out something? It’s an interesting theory, Ben, but it doesn’t hold water. You’ve made your choices in life and so have I. Mine just happen to be less life-threatening.”

“You don’t know the future, Sterling. Nothing is going to happen to me.” His voice sounded quiet, collected.