Dangerous Depths (The Sea Monster Memoirs) (8 page)

We made it to the bookstore just before closing. Joel’s private office was like a shrine to the ocean. Maps, nautical charts, items salvaged from shipwrecks, even miniature skeletal models of sea mammals—including a mermaid. Pango and I sat side by side in two antique chairs pirated from the sunken ship, Cristobal Colon—or so Joel told us. 

“For real, who is this guy?” I asked Pango as we waited for Joel to come back.

“He’s a history buff.”

“I can see that. Who is he in relation to Koraline?”

Pango shrugged. “Koraline is exceptionally intelligent. She enjoys the company of other intelligent people.”

I suspected there was much more to it than that, but the office door opened and Joel walked in, so I dropped the subject.

“So sorry for making you wait,” Joel said.

“It’s no problem,” I replied. “We’re sorry to bother you at work. Especially when you were getting ready to go home for the night.”

“I’m almost always at work, and it’s no bother. Any friend of Koraline’s is a friend of mine.”

“How long have you and Koraline known each other?” I asked.

Pango cleared his throat. “Yara, let’s not take up Joel’s time with chitchat. I’m sure he wants to lock up and go home.”

“Right. Sorry,” I said.

“We’ll tell you all we can, Joel,” Pango started, “but, as you know, that doesn’t leave room for much explaining, so I request that you only ask the most necessary questions.”

Joel nodded like he was familiar with the rules of confidential sea creature conversation.

Pango continued. “A couple of merfolk tried to pass through a gateway between Rathe and Harte.” I watched Joel, waiting for him to ask what Rathe and Harte were, but he didn’t flinch. “They couldn’t
do it.”

“Why not?” Joel asked.

Pango shifted in his seat. The chair creaked so loud I worried his six-foot-five heavy frame might break the treasured antique. “Because.” Pango hesitated. “Because they have human blood in their genes, so they were unable to cross between two sea monster realms.”

“Human blood.” Joel straightened his glasses. “How is that possible?”

“We’d prefer not to elaborate on that detail,” Pango said. Joel nodded again. “Rumor has it you might be able to help us figure out a way around this restriction.”

Joel tapped his fingers on the desk while he glanced back and forth between me and Pango. “To clarify, these,” he looked directly at me, “
individuals
can’t cross because of their human blood. Only pure-blooded sea creatures can pass through the gate between Harte and Rathe?”

“Correct,” Pango replied.

“What about between Earth and Rathe? Could a human-blooded being cross that gateway?”

Pango raised his head and squinted for a few moments before answering. “Not relevant.”

Joel squinted too and leaned back in his chair. “You’re sure the only issue here is the human blood factor?”

“What other factors could there be?” Pango asked.

Joel folded his hands on top of his stomach. “Are you sure there isn’t fear or apprehension to enter Harte? I mean, it’s a very evil place.”

“Of course there was some fear,” I interjected a little too defensively. “But they were going to do it anyway. They tried. They swam right up to the gate, but they were thrown back by a powerful force.”

I didn’t know why I couldn’t be straightforward with him. Joel had obviously figured out I was one of the merfolk who couldn’t cross over, but I had promised to let Pango decide what we could and couldn’t reveal.

Joel’s eyes darted between me and Pango. “I see.” He spun around in his chair, searching the overflowing bookshelves behind him. “I have a vague memory of my grandfather telling me about … well, hang on. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“What?” I asked. “Your grandfather told you about what?”

Joel stood up and faced us again. “Give me a few minutes to search for an old book. I think it might be in the vault.”

“Take all the time you need,” Pango said.

Joel walked over to the corner of his office. He slid a couple of books from a shelf, reached through the opening, and grunted as he pushed on some kind of lever. A large framed map, which was actually a door, slid open and revealed a secret passageway.

I stood up. “What the—? Where does that go?”

Joel grinned at me over his shoulder. “We humans have secrets too.”

Pango took my hand and pulled me back into my chair. “Sit, my curious crusader. It’s none of our business.”

Joel ducked through the doorway, and the painting slid shut behind him.

“Do you know where that goes?” I asked Pango.

“Koraline says there’s a secret room full of his family’s prized possessions.”

“Wow. I’ve seen that stuff in movies, but I didn’t know it really existed.”

Pango chuckled. “You’ve discovered other realms full of creatures and magic, but a secret door to a hidden room is what boggles your mind?”

“You know what I mean. I just didn’t expect there to be secret passageways and hidden rooms in what appears to be a regular old bookstore.”

Pango flicked a strand of my brown human hair and winked at me. “Appearances can be deceiving.”

Joel returned several minutes later. He seemed tense.

“Did you find anything that might help us?” Pango asked.

Joel sat on the edge of his desk, so close to us that his knees almost touched Pango’s. He stared down at us over his glasses. “My father’s journal confirmed something I remembered from a story my grandfather told me when I was a child. It could be of help, but I also worry it would … let’s see, how shall I put this?” Joel looked directly at me and swallowed. “If you pursue this route, it will most likely be your final journey.”

He definitely knew I was one of the souls trying to enter Harte.

“Continue,” Pango urged.

“First,” Joel said. “I need to know if Koraline is one of the merfolk you mentioned.”

“No,” Pango replied firmly.

Joel looked apprehensive and concerned. “You give me your word that she is not involved in this madness in any way, and that she won’t go near any gates to hell?”

“Yes,” Pango said. “And you know I can’t lie.”

Joel focused on me again and continued. “Harte is a damned realm filled with ravenous creatures and the most negative emotions. Just like this world, the gods had their hand in the creation of Harte, and many gods have enjoyed using humans as their playthings. If their playthings didn’t play by the rules or stepped out of line, the gods had ways of punishing them. One of those ways being a one-way ticket to the eternal nightmare of Harte.”

My pulse quickened. “There’s another way in?”

Joel nodded slowly. “But I have never heard of any soul purposefully wanting to go there. Yes, there’s an entrance from our human world, but no return ticket is offered.”

He didn’t know what I knew. That one sea creature had found an exit, and Uncle Lloyd had told me and Treygan where it was and how to get through it. One exit was enough for me to believe we would make it out alive. I leaned toward Joel. “I already know the risks involved.”

“Do you really?” Joel crossed his arms over his chest. “How much have you studied about Harte? Do you have any idea what happens there? What horrible, unthinkable monsters or torture devices exist there? No, because no one has ever made it back. Many people claim to have glimpsed the afterlife or Heaven, but how many accounts have you ever heard of anyone returning from a visit to hell?”

To say I wasn’t scared would have been a lie, and I could have tried to fool him, but my trembling voice would have betrayed me. “If there’s a way in, you have to tell us.”

“Please, Joel,” Pango urged quietly.

Joel sighed and walked to the other side of his office. He stood with his back toward us, staring at an old, tattered map hung on the wall. “Come here and I’ll show you.” 

Pango and I walked over and stood on either side of him.

Joel took off his glasses and rubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t feel good about this. I’m basically showing you the way into the lion’s den.”

I pulled his hand away from his face. “We understand what we’re getting ourselves into. You are in no way responsible for what happens. But you would be helping in a way more important than you can imagine.”

He stared at me for several silent heartbeats. I still wasn’t sure how Koraline knew Joel, but I could see why she trusted him. He had abyss eyes. Uncle Lloyd used to tell me that his wife had abyss eyes. The first time he met her, he knew her goodness had no end because he could see into her soul, and no matter how deep or long he looked, he never saw one hint of bad. Joel’s eyes were the same way. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt. He didn’t even know me, but he was concerned about me.

“Some things are worth the risk,” I told him.

“How about dying? Is this worth dying for?”

A close-lipped grin struggled to surface as Koraline’s famous words echoed through my mind. The words I had died by, and now lived by.

“Love until it kills you,” I recited with a smile. Joel’s eyes widened with recognition. “Because there’s nothing better worth dying for.”

Joel slid his glasses back on and squared his shoulders. “The other gateway, the only one a human, or part human, could pass through is here.”

He pointed to the map. His finger landed on an open area of blue to the right of Florida. I leaned forward to examine the thin lines making a triangle around the tip of his finger.

“Oh, dear gods,” Pango gasped.

I read the tiny words handwritten above Joel’s chewed fingernail.
The Devil’s Triangle.

The worst part about having the same dream over and over was that I always woke up and felt the loss all over again.

The dream felt so real while it was happening. My dreams were why I slept so much while we were trapped in Earth’s realm. I always gave in and allowed myself to be pulled into memories of Vienna.

I would never forget our wedding. Dreaming about it was almost as good as the real thing had been.

Vienna was covered from head to toe in snowflakes. Her skin looked like it had been covered in a glistening, frosted fishing net. Behind her, the pulsing colors of the aurora borealis lit up the dark December sky. She took my hand and stepped into the water.

“You put those snowflakes to shame,” I whispered to her. “They aren’t half as beautiful as you.”

She blushed and wrapped her tailfin around mine beneath the surface. “I wish we could skip right to the kiss.”

It took all of my willpower not to pull her underwater and swim away with her right then and there. 

All of our selkie guests were circled around us in the icy water. Merfolk lined the shore, like a midnight rainbow. The High Priestess hovered above me and Vienna, giving her spiel and making our union official. Our mothers swam forward to wrap sea kelp around our wrists—a symbolic gesture to solidify our eternal bond. 

But that’s where the memory ended and my dream turned into a nightmare.

All of our guests sank into the black water. The High Priestess screamed like a banshee. Hissing snakes grew out of her head. Long fangs tore through her bottom lip and her jaw stretched down to her feet.

Vienna screamed. I turned to see the sea kelp branching out and moving, creeping and crawling up our arms and around our torsos. I tried to break my hands free, but the plants were too strong.

A long vine wrapped itself around Vienna’s neck, strangling her and gagging her screams. I flailed and fought with all my might, trying to rip free of my restraints, but they were like boa constrictors that wouldn’t stop squeezing. Vienna’s eyes bulged out of her head as the seaweed pulled her under and out of my sight. Then it pulled me under too. Beneath the surface, the water was pitch-black. I couldn’t see anything, but it was so hot my skin burned. A fire ignited in front of me. The raging flames momentarily blinded me, but then, in the middle of the fire, I saw my beautiful bride. Her face was flawless and she kept calling my name, but the rest of her skin was charred to the bone.

I bolted upright.

Vienna was gone. The flames were gone.

I was sitting on a beach on the selkie side of Rathe. My tail was in the water, partially buried in the sand. A calm indigo sky stretched out above me. Stars twinkled and the moons shined.

“Just a nightmare,” I told myself.

Vienna and I had sat on this beach, and so many others in Rathe, more times than I could count. I turned my head and the glittering sand turned into a mirage of a young Vienna. I wasn’t delusional, I knew it was just me reminiscing, but there she was, skipping down the beach several yards away. She saw me, waved, and ran over to me.

She looked so real. My mind retained every detail, right down to the sand in her black, windblown hair. “Have you seen all the shells that washed ashore?”

Of all the conversations we ever had, this one was my favorite. One of the first times we discussed being more than friends. “Yeah.” I smiled. “How many have you collected?”

She bent down and picked up a piece of sea glass, holding it up and admiring it in the moonlight. “Only one. The rest belong here, on the beach—or in the ocean, if the tide chooses to carry them away.” She tossed the sea glass back into the sand and sat down beside me. “I don’t keep them. I just like admiring them, holding them between my fingers and feeling how different each one is. Except for this one.” She removed a shell from her armband. At first it looked all white, but then I noticed the hints of green and silver. “Feel it. It’s hard and soft at the same time. The edges are ragged, but run your fingers along the silver veins—they’re soft as silk.”

I rubbed it, noting all the different textures. “You’re right.”

“It reminds me of you.” Her ivory cheeks blushed and she looked down, studying the shell in my fingers. “Something so unique should be treasured. Forever.”

“The shell?”

She leaned toward me—barely an inch—but it was enough to feel the energy building between us. “You, Rownan. I would treasure you forever.”

It was the first time I kis
sed her. The first time I had kissed anyone. We were barely teenagers, but I remembered it like it happened yesterday.

I pulled away and smiled at her.

She groaned, frustrated. “I was afraid that would happen.”

“What’s wrong?” Panic flooded me. Had I turned some part of her to stone like Treygan had done when he kissed Kimber?

“I knew if you kissed me, I’d be forever ruined for anyone else. No other selkie, or any creature for that matter, will ever top that.”

Sweet relief. “Good. Because I hope you never kiss anyone else.” I handed her shell back to her. “I want to keep you—I mean, treasure you. Forever.”

Her smile spread so wide it outshined the moons above us. “Forever? You promise?”

“I promise.” I kissed her again. “Was there ever any doubt? You’re my best friend.”

“I guess I had some fears.”

“What kind of fears?”

She held my hand in hers. “My grandmother says we have a rare kind of love. Love that’s only gifted to the world when the tides and moons align just right, and it happens so rarely. She said it means we’ll be faced with more challenges than most.”

“You talked to your grandmother about us?”

Vienna giggled. “I talk to everyone about you.”

My cheeks warmed.

“Gran says our love will be tested in ways we might not be strong enough to survive.”

“And you believe that? The bad part, I mean.”

“Gran knows these things.”

I picked sand out of Vienna’s hair. “I believe we create our own fate.”

“Part of me believes that too, but you know how my family is. They’ve drilled all the fate and fortune stuff into my head.”

“Don’t worry, whatever the world wants to throw at us, we’ll get through it.”

She closed both of her hands around mine. “Together, right?”

“Together.”

“That’s my biggest fear,” Vienna said. “Losing you.”

“You won’t lose me. Even if you do, I’ll always find you again.”

She smiled so radiantly it made my heart overflow. “Say it again.”

“What?”

“That I won’t lose you. And if I do, you’ll always find me again.”

I held her delicate face in my hands. “You won’t lose me. Even if you do, I swear on the oceans and heavens, I will always find you again.”

I leaned in to kiss her, but she was gone.

Sand sifted through my fingers as I tried clinging to her, but all I found was an empty beach.

“Do you know what I fear?” I said aloud, pretending Vienna was still beside me. “I fear you were in Harte so long that you stopped believing I would find you. I fear you’ll never forgive me for breaking my promise to you. I’m terrified you’ll never forgive me for whatever torture you’ve suffered all these years—because I know I’ll never forgive myself. I’m so sorry, V.”

Some part of me hoped she’d reply. Wishful thinking that her voice would carry across the sky, the ocean, the worlds, and somehow whisper forgiveness in my ear.

But there was no reply. No sound at all except the tide washing in and out. I threw my second empty vodka bottle into the waves then popped open the tequila from Jack Frost’s. I chugged until I reached rock bottom.