Dangerous to Know (14 page)

“Mum, be careful!” Bethany gasped.

Angela ignored her, just slammed out of the car and came around to open my door. Shit. She was blatantly coming in. This was not good. Really not.

When we got to the porch, Angela reached for the bell but I got my keys out before she had the chance to ring.

I pushed the door open.

“Listen,” I said, trying to sound reasonable, “it’s three in the morning—”

“I’m aware of that!” Angela shoved past me like she owned the place. The kitchen light was still on, sending a yellow glow up the basement stairs. “I suggest you wake your mother, Jack. If you don’t, I will. I’d like a word with her. Now. I’ll wait down here.”

I ignored that, though, followed her downstairs. Angela opened the kitchen door and I nearly died of shock.

My dad was sitting at the table, reading a paperback copy of
The I-Ching
.

He looked up, putting down the book. There was a glass of whisky on the table but it hadn’t reached his eyes. They were clear, cold. The mirror of mine. The mirror of Owen’s. The mirror of Herod’s.

“What the hell is going on?” Dad asked.

It was a fair enough question. I was dressed as a pirate, obviously quite smashed, and Angela was still in her tight gold Cleopatra costume.

Angela was just standing there, mouth slightly open. “Who are you?” she asked. I thought of Bethany, alone in the car, wondering what was happening.

“I might ask you the same question,” said Dad, and if I hadn’t been so scared I would have laughed. She looked like a complete idiot now.

“I need to speak to Jack’s parents, that’s all.” The hard expression on Angela’s face softened slightly.
She bloody fancies him
, I thought, disgusted.
Jesus Christ
.

“Well,” Dad gave me a really scary look, “I’m his father. What’s the problem?”

Oh, this was just charming. I hadn’t seen him for two years and now he was looking at me like I’d crawled out from under a rock.

I couldn’t stop myself. “Right,” I said. “As if you care.”

Dad’s eyes narrowed, but before anyone had time to speak, the door flew open behind us and Mum came in, followed by Louis. They were still dressed, though Mum was wearing jeans and a cardigan – not the stuff she’d gone out in earlier.

“Jack, where have you been?” Mum demanded, furious. “I obviously can’t trust you at all.” She turned to Angela, looking her up and down, taking in the gold lamé dress, the massive necklace, all that black eye make-up. “What on earth is going on?”

“Your son gatecrashed a party,” Angela cut in before I had the chance to speak. “I found him there with Bethany. I thought I’d asked you to keep him away from my daughter!”

“Oh, Jack, you idiot,” Louis said.

Mum took a deep breath, obviously trying to stay calm. “Thank you very much for bringing Jack home, Angela. I’m extremely sorry. I really am. Now, if you don’t mind, it’s very late.”

“I suggest you learn to control your child.” Angela gave me one last evil look, then turned and walked out, shutting the kitchen door behind her.

Mum stood completely still, arms folded, till she’d gone.

I felt like I’d been thrown into a pit of snakes.

“Jack, how could you do this to me?” Mum burst into tears.

I looked from her to Dad and back again. My head was spinning. “What’s he doing here?” I demanded. My heart thudded harder and harder. I turned to Dad. “What do you want?”

Dad stood up. “You need to watch your mouth.”

“You can’t talk to me like that!” I snapped, so angry I couldn’t stop myself. Who did he think he was?

“That’s enough!” Mum said. “Edward, you can’t blame him for wondering.” She turned back to me. “Your father is here to look for Herod.”

“Seems a good thing I came back, judging by the state of Jack.” Dad looked at me, pointedly. I probably stank of booze, but it was like he somehow just knew about the mushrooms, too. “Or are you just happy for the whole thing to happen again, Caroline? Wasn’t one son’s wasted life enough?”

“That’s completely out of order,” Louis shouted. Everyone stared. I had literally never heard Louis raise his voice before.

Dad just ignored him. “Your mother called my cell phone not long after I arrived at Heathrow—”

“Louis and I found a message from the police when we got back from supper,” Mum said. She was crying. Louis handed her a piece of kitchen towel. She wiped her eyes, smearing mascara everywhere. “They’d found a body—”

A body.

Herod.

I closed my eyes and in my mind I saw Herod’s hands, clay-stained, fingers moving quick, delicate around the clay – hardly seeming to touch it as he formed a curled-up autumn leaf that looked like it would float if dropped.

Louis put his arm around Mum’s shoulders.

“We went to the mortuary together,” Mum said, speaking slowly. “Your father and I. Louis stayed here. The police said we could wait till the morning, that some families prefer to take a bit of time, but I couldn’t bear it. And all the way there, two hours it must have been, I couldn’t stop thinking,
Please let it not be him. Anyone else’s child but mine—
We’ve only just got back.”

“Was it him?” I sounded a lot calmer than I felt. I gripped the Aga rail harder; my head was swimming – I wanted to sink down on my knees.

Why couldn’t she just say it?
Herod’s dead
.

“No.” Mum’s voice was flat. “No, it was someone else. He’d been in the water a few days, poor boy, but even so I could easily tell it wasn’t Herod, thank God. Thank God.”

Relief gushed through my body in a great, cool wave.

Dad said nothing, just carried on looking at me with total disgust. I was getting more and more angry by the second, so furious I actually felt totally sober. Who the hell was he to judge?

“We got back to find you were gone.” Mum’s voice was too high now, ragged-sounding – she was pretty close to the edge, and I started to feel really scared. I’d never seen her like that before. “It’s unbelievable that you would go off like this again when you know Herod’s missing, when you were supposed to be here in case the phone rang and you knew that we’re worried sick as it is.”

I took a long, steadying breath. “I’d do the same again to see Bethany.”

“Jack, don’t be an idiot,” Louis said. “Don’t make this any worse.”

Mum shook her head. “Bethany’s parents made it clear enough, didn’t they? What’s the matter with you? I don’t want that woman coming around here again, Jack. Stay away from Bethany.”

“You can’t make me,” I said. “You can’t.”

“We’re not the only ones who are concerned,” Louis said quickly, before Mum had the chance to answer me. “There was a message from Mr Trelawney, too – he called on Friday afternoon. He’s worried about you.”

I had a bad feeling about that twenty quid note.
Trelawney can’t know you took it. Even if he guessed, he’s got no way of proving it.
I knew Jono and Sammy would never grass me up: Sammy because he’s loyal, Jono because he’s not stupid. Neither of them had a sensible explanation for being in Trelawney’s classroom at midnight on a Monday.

“What’s going on, Jack?” Dad said. “What the hell have you got yourself into?”

“Why don’t you all just get off my back?” I yelled. I turned to Mum and Louis. “If you two hadn’t gone along with Bethany’s bitch of a mother we wouldn’t have to sneak around. Why can’t you leave us alone instead of trying to guilt-trip me? This has nothing to do with Herod. It’s my life, not his.”

“Jack—” said my dad, getting up, walking over.

And suddenly I couldn’t take it any more.

“It’s got nothing to do with you, either!” I shouted. “You can’t just
walk in here
and look at me like I’m a piece of shit. What’s the problem, anyway. What’s it to you all of a sudden? Do you even care about Herod? Or are you just scared someone might find out you abandoned your kids?”

“Shut up,” said my dad, very calmly, and slapped me right across the face.

It hurt. It really hurt. I couldn’t believe he’d hit me. He’d actually hit me. It stung like hell, as if someone had held a hot iron against my skin, but I said nothing, just stared at him, hoping he could feel my hatred – because that’s what it was. I hated him.

“Edward!” Mum snapped.

“You’re useless!” I shouted at him. “Just useless. You’re never here, you never even phone. Maybe if you’d ever bothered Herod wouldn’t be like he is. You can’t just turn up now and start acting like you’re God.”

I turned to walk out but Dad grabbed me by the arm. “My car is outside,” Dad said to me, making an obvious effort to control his anger. “Please go and get in it.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I laughed. “You must be fucking joking. I mean, what gives you the right?”

Dad just ignored me.

“Let’s keep this in perspective, Edward, OK?” Louis said. “We’ve all had a terrible evening, but to be fair Jack didn’t know what was going on.”

Dad nodded towards the phone on the counter. “Feel free to call a lawyer, Caroline. It’s pretty clear you’re not handling this.”

Mum and Louis stared at him. Call a lawyer?

And by “this” did he mean me? As if I was some kind of project one of his employees had screwed up?

How had everything got so badly out of control?

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mum said. “Jack, go and get some sleep. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

“Get in the car,” Dad told me again, not paying her any attention whatsoever.

“You can’t take him!”
Mum’s voice rang out in a shriek. “You can’t turn up here and take him! You don’t deserve to have any bloody children.”

“You’re becoming hysterical, Caroline,” said my dad, and, glancing at me, he pointed towards the door. An unspoken order. Who did he think he was? Adolf Hitler? Oh, please.

Mum, Louis and Dad all started talking at once but I couldn’t make sense of what they were saying; I was hardly listening. My ears were still ringing; I’d never heard Mum shout like that before, more like a scared child than an adult.

Slowly, I walked to the door, letting them think I was heading for the car. There were plenty of options between there and the house. I know this town like the back of my hand. I could go to Sammy’s. Yvonne would definitely let me stay. All I had to do was make Dad think I was toeing the line, then get away.

“Wait,” Louis said. “Why don’t we just talk this through calmly in the morning. We’re all tired.”

Dad glanced at the kitchen clock. It was quarter to four. “It is the morning,” he said.

I ran for the door. Mum and Louis both shouted my name at once.

Dad caught up with me a few yards from the car, grabbed my arm. “Just get in.” He wasn’t even out of breath. He was like some kind of Californian yoga-posing beansprout-eating hippy Terminator. He shoved me into the front seat and as I sat down the exhaustion hit me. The smell of air freshener and new leather made me feel sick. Mum and Dad were now arguing in low, furious voices in the street outside.

Louis came over to the car and I wound down the window. “Well, this time you’ve really done it.” He patted me on the arm. “You absolute bloody idiot.”

I wished Louis could know how grateful I felt that he was there, letting it all wash over him, calm and sarcastic as ever. He made everything seem less weird, less scary. My face was still burning. “Do I have to go? I really, really don’t want to.”

Louis nodded, speaking quickly. “For now, yes, I think you do. But listen, don’t worry, OK? Your father’s staying at his place in Oxford – it’s not far, is it? He’s flown all the way from Japan. No one’s at their best after nine hours on a plane, even if it’s business class. He’s very concerned about Herod. And you.” Louis let those last two words hang in the air.

What about Bethany? How was I going to see Bethany if I was in Oxford?

I sat back in the seat, nodding. “OK.” But it wasn’t OK. Not at all.

Louis smiled and patted me on the arm again. “It’ll be all right,” he said. “We’ll have a sensible conversation about all this tomorrow.”

I knew he was lying.

I woke up thinking of Bethany; a tangle of dark hair, a smile, silver glitter shining all over her face, the scent of heat and lemons. My head hurt. A dull, sore ache.

I was in the wrong place. A clean, featureless white room. I was lying between sheets that smelt of fabric conditioner. Light slanted in between thick dark curtains.

Oxford. My father’s house in Oxford. My face still stung, very faintly. He’d hit me.

It was quiet. I remembered that from before, a long time ago. I could hear birdsong outside and, bizarrely, a cow. The house backed on to Port Meadow, a green spread of fields. When we came to see Radiohead play – me, Sammy, Jono, Georgie Hicks and Amanda – we’d sat on the grass with our cider, only a few hundred yards from here. There were cows then, too. In the middle of a city. Weird. I sneaked a look at this place then, at Dad’s house, but the windows had just stared back at me, blank, giving nothing away.

I’ve only been here once before, when I was about four, not long after Mum and Dad split up. So he’d kept the place. I suppose he could afford it – houses all over the place. I tried to piece together what clues this pale, clean room might give me about my father. What advantages over him, if any. I really didn’t know him at all.

He’d come back. My father. Goes to show you should always be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.

I had no way of knowing what the time was.

I squeezed my eyes closed against the light. Oh, God. It was Sunday. In five days, Bethany and I were meant to be getting on a train with Jono and Sammy to Castle Cary. Glastonbury. Angela would blatantly try and stop us. Would Mum even let me go now I’d been caught at that stupid party?

And what about Dad?

I just wished I could call Bethany, but it was too dangerous. I had no way of telling who would pick up the phone.

What was she thinking about now? A paranoid, niggling thought crept into my mind. What if she was only using me to get back at her mother?
Am I a weapon?
I thought.

I think I’m falling in love with you.
That’s what she’d said. Bethany had more courage than I did. The truth of it was I’d loved her since the moment she stepped on the train with me in her pink silk dress and black wellingtons, fake flowers in her hair, smiling. Brave.