Dare You (17 page)

Khaden moaned and fought to catch his breath.

Ruby’s face floated in front of him.

‘Hurts. Bad.’

She lifted his hands and howled.

Khaden grimaced. Not another Ramones T-shirt ruined.

Sas, Taj and the bigger bouncer, Deck, were kneeling beside him.

Hands rolled him onto his back, sparking fresh waves of pain.

Deck pressed his hand below Khaden’s ribs, where it hurt. Khaden gasped and tried to push Deck away, but Deck pressed harder and spoke slow, gentle words.

‘I know it hurts mate, but it’ll stop the bleeding.

Bleeding? What bleeding?

Deck pressed harder.

Khaden was too tired to fight. Everything was distorted and fuzzy.

In the hospital waiting room, I paced, sat on the vinyl chair, then paced again. Sas, and Taj had gone through swinging doors with a nurse ages ago. A different nurse had taken Mike through the same doors when he arrived. Lou had run in, her hair wild and slippers on her feet. Another nurse had whisked her away.

There were people in the waiting room, but I was too wound up to notice them. When Mum rushed in, it was like she snapped me back to reality. The room was brighter, people spoke in hushed voices, the air conditioner hummed and a cop show played on the TV on the wall.

‘Ruby!’ Mum knelt in front of the chair I’d collapsed in and held my hands. Tears filled her red eyes.

My throat was tight, as if someone was trying to choke me. ‘Khaden...’

‘I know, love, I know. Are you okay?’

I nodded. ‘It’s his blood...’

She swiveled to the seat beside me and held me. I rested my head on her shoulder. There was so much I wanted to say.

‘Is his dad here?’ Mum’s voice was soft.

‘With Taj, Sas and Lou, I think.’

‘How did you get here?’

‘The police drove me and Sas. I have to wait for them here.’

Mum nodded. ‘Do you need anything?’

Yep—for Khaden to be okay. ‘I’m good.’

The two police who’d driven me to the hospital pushed through the swinging doors, their faces grim. One of them was that older cop who’d turned up after we’d been caught shoplifting. That felt like years ago.

‘You must be Ruby’s mother. I’m John Dobson,’ said the cop.

Mum shook his hand. ‘Virginia Martin.’

‘I met your husband the other—’

‘He’s just told me about that.’

I pulled away from her. If she knew about the cop, she knew about the shoplifting, and that meant she knew about Dad, if Dad had done as he promised.

‘How’s Khaden?’ asked Mum.

‘He’ll be in surgery for a while.’ There seemed to be something he wasn’t saying.

‘And you need to interview Ruby?’

‘Yes, we need to take a statement, then you can take her home.’

Mum nodded.

We followed the police officers into a small room.

I took a deep breath and called back the images I’d worked so hard to push away.

My yawn was so big it felt like I would split in two.

‘All done, Ruby,’ said John Dobson, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘We’ll type that up and have you look over it at the station tomorrow, okay?’

‘Sure.’ It didn’t sound like my voice.

‘So I can take her home?’ asked Mum.

The cop nodded. ‘We’ll be in touch tomorrow. Should we call you or your hus—’

‘Me,’ snapped Mum. ‘I’ll be home with Ruby.’

Dobson nodded. ‘Right, well, speak to you tomorrow.’ The police left.

As we walked back into the waiting room, Lou came through the swinging doors. Sas was a step behind her, face as white as the hospital walls.

I rushed towards them. ‘How’s Khaden?’

Sas stepped around Lou, her face twisted. ‘I hate you.’

I reeled back. ‘Sas—’

Sas’s eyes were wild. ‘If you’d kept your bloody mouth shut, none of this would have happened.’

Lou took Sas’s hand. ‘Sas, that’s not helping anyone, especially Khaden.’

‘So? It’s true!’ Sas’s voice carved through the hum of the airconditioner. She leant towards me. ‘If he dies, Ruby, it’s your—’

‘Stop it,’ said Mum. ‘Sas, you’re upset. What happened to Khaden is terrible, but it’s no one’s fault.’

‘Why couldn’t you just shut up, Ruby?’ Tears splashed down Sas’s cheeks.

‘I’ll call you tomorrow, Ginny,’ said Lou, guiding Sas, who’d started to sob, to the door.

Please. Please. Please. Please God, Buddha, Allah, Universe, Higher Power, whoever.

Please.

I’ll never bitch about having to look after the girls again.

I’ll call Dad—twice a day, every day.

I’ll try harder with Lee.

I’ll even visit Aunty Mavis at that stinky old people’s home.

Please, please. I’ll do anything.

I pretended to fall asleep on the way home so Mum wouldn’t try to talk to me about what had happened, or about Dad. The moment she pulled on the handbrake in the driveway, I bolted to the bathroom. Under the shower, I tried to wash away Khaden’s blood and the memory of what had happened. The hot water ran out.

In bed I snuggled under the doona, trying to warm the chill in my heart, and stared at the night shadows outside the window. The door eased open. Mum crept across the room, lay down and wrapped her arms around me.

‘Stuart’s staying at a motel,’ she said.

‘He told you, then?’

‘You poor, poor kid,’ she said into my shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘What are you sorry for?’ I pushed the words past the lump in my throat.

‘If I’d been a better Mum ... paid more attention. I knew
something was troubling you, Ruby, something big. I should have made you talk.’

‘It wouldn’t have changed anything.’

‘It might have, and you wouldn’t have had to cope with that awful secret on your own.’

Huge sobs rushed from me. I wriggled around and, face buried in Mum’s shoulder, let them come.

Mum woke me after she’d taken Archie to school. While she emptied the dishwasher, I sat at the table, poking the muesli and yoghurt with my spoon. All I could think about was Khaden’s face as he lay on the footpath. And all that blood.

I jumped when the phone rang.

‘Got it,’ said Mum, closing the dishwasher door.

She answered in her formal voice.

I sipped orange juice. Silence drew my attention back to Mum. Her face had turned grey and her mouth hung open.

Dad, I figured.

But then she glanced at me and her face crumpled.

‘Mum?’

She raised her hand. ‘Thanks for calling, Lou. And Sas? Oh, of course. Yes, yes, I know. I’ll tell her. It’s just too awful.’ Mum placed the phone in its cradle as though it might shatter.

I pushed back from the table. ‘Mum, what’s wrong?’

When she looked up, she was crying. ‘Oh, Ruby. It’s Khaden.’

At Khaden’s funeral, I sat behind a pillar with Mum, who kept her arm wrapped around my shoulder. Even after everything that had happened over the last couple of days, she sat straight and tall.

Sas was in the front row with her dad, Taj, Mike and Lou. I only glanced at them a couple of times. It hurt too much to see the sorrow on their faces.

Across the aisle from me, a woman with dark skin and long fingers like Khaden, cried the whole time. She hung her head when Mike talked about how hard it was for Khaden not having his mum around.

When Taj spoke, he told stories about Khaden playing Guitar Hero, crashing Taj’s new bike into a brick fence and buckling the wheel, and smashing Mike’s Led Zeppelin record when he used it as a Frisbee. That made everyone laugh, except for the woman to my right. She cried harder.

Even though my throat hurt and my eyes stung, I didn’t
cry. I thought I was cried out, but then came Sas’s turn to speak about Khaden—her boyfriend—and the tears streamed down my face. I cried for Khaden, Sas, me, Mum, and Dad, wherever he had moved to, and I cried for us—Khaden, Ruby and Sas.

I couldn’t face the photos that flashed across the display board, not even when Mum said, ‘You were so little.’ I figure I was in a few of them, but why wouldn’t I be? Khaden, Sas and I used to be inseparable.

After the service at the cemetery, Mum and I waited behind a group of people to speak to Mike and Taj, who both hugged me. I couldn’t find the right words to say to them, so I said nothing.

As we were walking back to the car, I noticed Taj standing, arms folded, under an old gum. The woman who’d been sitting opposite me and Mum at the church, the one with the hands that reminded me of Khaden’s, was talking to him. Taj’s face was pale and twisted as though he was in pain.

I realised, and gasped.

‘What Ruby?’ asked Mum.

‘That woman. She’s Khaden’s mum.’

Before Mum could speak, Sas called out to us. ‘Ruby, can we talk?’ She stood with her dad to our right.

‘Want me to come?’ asked Mum.

‘Please.’

I stopped a few steps away from Sas and Angelo. Sas’s eyes were glazed and her nose red. I reached out to her, but she stepped back.

‘Sas...’

‘Ruby, I wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you at the hospital. I was...’

‘It’s okay—’

‘I’m not done.’ Even though her voice broke, she stood tall. ‘I was cruel and I’m sorry...’ She took a deep breath. ‘It wasn’t your fault.’

Angelo squeezed her shoulder.

‘Sas, we’ll—’

‘I’m going to live with Dad for a while.’ She looked at her feet. ‘I just can’t be here...’

Her words were a bucket of water on my hope that we could patch up our friendship.

‘Okay.’

I started to leave, but stopped.

‘Sas, I loved him too, you know. Not the same way you did, but I loved him.’

A sob caught in her throat.

‘Let’s go, Ruby,’ said Mum, a hand on my elbow. I let her guide me between the headstones and out onto the road.

A Year Later...