Dark Boundaries (20 page)

Cruel Boundaries

Prologue

Noah~

Age thirteen…

I hate babysitting her! She’s only nine and she’s a girl. I don’t play with girls! I’d rather spend the day outside with my friends. But … nooo! I have to look after the spoiled princess. I like my uncle Garrett and aunt Kris, but I hate all the attention Amy gets. I don’t understand why they make such a fuss about her.

“Noah!” Mom calls from downstairs. Geez, they must be here already. My shoulders slump but I carry on playing my game. “Noah Macht, get your butt down here. You don’t want to make me come up there!”

I throw the remote hard on the floor and drag my feet all the way down the stairs. I might have to babysit the brat, but I don’t have to like it.

“Hi, Noah.” Amy says in a pitchy voice. She sounds like a mouse. I hate mice. I’d squash a mouse if I ever had to see one.

“Noah,” Mom scolds me, “don’t be rude.” She nudges me towards Amy. “Greet your cousin then go greet your aunty Kris and uncle Garrett, they’re out back with your dad.” I shoulder bump Amy, instead of hugging her. It’s gross to hug girls. This is how I say hello to my friends every day. It’s cool. “So help me, Noah Macht! You’re testing my patience. That’s not how you greet family!”

“It’s okay,” Amy squeaks. “He’s not really your son or family, so he doesn’t have to hug me.”

That was such a nasty thing to say! I tighten my fists in anger. I want to punch her.

“Amy!” Mom gasps. “Where did you hear that?”

“It’s true, aunty Riza! I heard mommy and daddy talk about it this morning.” Amy looks at me and all I want to do is hit her. I want to hurt her as much as she’s hurt me. “You can still pretend to be my cousin, I don’t mind.”

“I hate you,” I spit at her. “I hate everyone!” I run up to my room. I kick my PlayStation but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I sit down on my bed, feeling the hurt grow in my chest. Why would Amy be so nasty to me? We might not like each other, but to say my mom and dad aren’t mine is … it’s just cruel.

Mom comes into my room and kneels in front of me. She places her hand on my knee. “Noah, you know I love you with all my heart, more than there are toys in the world.”

“Why would she be so ugly to me?” I say with a scowl on my face.

“Just because mommy and daddy adopted you, it doesn’t mean you’re not our son. Amy doesn’t understand that yet. She doesn’t understand that out of all the children in the world we only wanted you. There is no one we love more in this whole wide world.”

Mom sits with me for a while, hugging me. I love Mom’s hugs, they’re warm and she always smells nice. She pulls away and ruffles my hair. I hate when she does that. “Come on down and greet your aunty and uncle.”

“Oookaayyy.” I’d rather stay in my room and play with my toys, but I follow Mom downstairs. When I see Amy sitting on Dad’s lap, I want to tell her to get off. He’s my dad! She has her own dad to sit on.

“There you are,” uncle Garrett holds out his hand to me. “You have to learn to shake hands like a man.” I put my hand in his. It feels stupid. “Squeeze, Buddy.” I squeeze and then let go.

Aunty Kris hugs me and then kisses my cheek. I pretend to wipe it off. I’ll never tell anyone I like her hugs and kisses.

Amy is still on Dad’s lap and I don’t want to look at her any more. I go back inside and see her favorite doll lying on the couch. I grab it and run to the kitchen. I find a knife in the top drawer and sneak out the back door. When I stab the knife into her doll, I start to feel better. I keep stabbing at the stupid doll until all the stuffing is peeling out of its belly. I don’t want to be caught with the doll so I burry it out back and quickly wash the knife and my hands.

I smile, knowing how Amy will cry for her doll. If she wants to take my mom and dad, I’ll take her doll. I’ll take everything she loves. I’ll make her pay for being so nasty to me.

~*~

Chapter One

Amy~

Ten years later …

“I’m coming!” I yell and then bring the phone back to my ear. “I have to go. My mom’s about to come up here and drag my ass down.”

“Phone me later?” Sharon says. She’s my best friend. Some people think we’re sisters because we both have blonde hair. But if you look closely you’ll notice that she has blue eyes, where mine are grey, just like Mom’s.

“Sure, babe. Talk to you later.” I throw the phone on my bed and go to check my appearance in the mirror. We’re having a family lunch for Easter. I’ve been lucky the past year. Noah has been away at college and too busy to come home for the family gatherings.

He always bullies me, every chance he gets. I don’t understand why he hates me so much. I’ve tried to be friends but he’s made it clear that he hates me. So when he doesn’t come home for the family gatherings I’m relieved. I don’t have to deal with him.

“Amy!” Mom calls again. Damn, she can be persistent!

“I said I’m coming!” I yell back. I sit on the bed so I can put on my sandals. The door to my room swings wide open. “Mo-” My eyes widen as Noah walks in. He shuts the door behind him and leans back against it.

I haven’t seen him in so long, he has changed a lot. His black hair is longer than when I last saw him, curling over his ears and into his neck. He used to keep it short. His green eyes still holds only hatred as he stares me down. He’s taller, and his muscles are much more defined. If I didn’t hate him so much I’d admit how hot he looks. But I hate him so he looks like shit in my books. I’d rather die than admit he’s attractive.

“What? No big hello for your cousin?” he sneers.

I get up and realize just how tall his gotten. I barely reach his shoulder. I scowl darkly at him. “I would if you were actually my cousin,” I taunt him. I know it’s wrong but I need to hurt him the way he hurts me, and that’s the only ammo I have. “No use in pretending you’re actually family.”

He walks over to my dresser and picks up my lipstick. He uncaps it and writes ‘fuck you’ in large red letters on my mirror.

“In your dreams,” I snap back.

“Oh,
Princess
, you’re so funny” he laughs. “I heard you’re joining me soon. Careful what you say because it’s all going to bite you in the ass. It going to be just you and me in that big ole’ apartment. Lots of things go bump in the night.”

“If you touch me I’ll tell my dad.” I sound like a fucking five year old!

“No, you won’t,” he hisses. He moves fast and yanks me closer by my shoulders. His fingers dig hard into my skin. “You won’t, because by you telling anyone, it will just go to prove that you can’t fight your own battles.”

“Fuck you, Noah!” I spit at him. I yank free from his hold, seething with anger.

He leans closer, his lips lifting in the corner. “In your dreams, Princess.”

~*~

Other books by Michelle Horst

Wake Me Up - a Tainted Ink Novel

Prologue

Emma~

“I’ll be like Mum.” It makes me sick to my stomach to say this. My grandfather was a drunk. She is a drunk. I don’t want to be a drunk.

I want to scream this at her, but I can’t. I can only sit still. I’m drowning in the disgusting feelings suffocating the air out of my lungs, until my chest starts to ache. It hurts to listen to my mum, but I can’t bring myself to move. Years of conditioning and fear keeps me frozen to the spot.

“You just read those books, that’s all you do,” she goes on. “You’re throwing your life away. There’s no silver lining, no happily ever afters, no fairy tales. Life is hard, babes,” she leans over and hisses in my face. Her stinking breath wafts over me, sticking to my skin. “And without me you won’t make it. EVER.”

She sits back and her chin wobbles. Oh no, not the tears!

I have to hold her. It’s the only way to calm her down. I get up and go to her, my body feeling rigid. It feels as if every muscle is fighting me, wanting to run the other way. I reach out to her, my arms feeling like rubber. I hug her to my chest and another wave of disgust wells up in me, threatening to squeeze the last bit of life from my body. The smell of her greasy hair makes my stomach turn. The clamminess of her alcohol-drenched skin sticks to my hands.

I go numb. No, I’m lying. I do feel something.

I feel sick. To. My. Stomach. Sick.

“I’m nothing without Mum. I won’t make it without Mum. Ever. Please hold me Mum. Don’t let me go.”

~*~

Chapter One

Emma ~

She’ll follow me no matter where I run to. It’s the first thought that crosses my mind as I place the suitcase down at the foot of the bed. I hate my parents for doing this to me, for making me run to North Carolina, the other side of the bloody world. But I’ve had enough! I have to do this for myself. I have to try and escape somehow.

I’ve heard stories of great men. What makes a great man? I’ve stopped asking this question, because I really don’t believe there is such a thing.

There was a time I thought men were supposed to be protectors of women, but time has molded men into weaklings. My mum molded my dad into a wimp and nothing more. My dad is a wimp.
Weakly interacting massive particle
or WIMP, a hypothetical particle serving as one possible solution to the dark matter problem – the dark matter problem being my mother. That’s the definition Astrophysics gave for my mum and dad. 

I grew up surrounded by wealth and culture, tucked away in a small village that some would find perfect. Pendoylan is picture perfect by England’s standards. It’s a cozy little town. I love the beauty of my village, but I hate the prison cell it had become. The irony, that one can hate such beauty and wealth, and the very family you come from.

Coming to the town of Chapel Hill, I’m hoping to avoid the mad rush that comes with the big cities. I just want some peace. I know there is a lake here and Chapel Hill is known for its small town feel. I hope I chose right. I want to get away from my family and experience a bit of life. I want to live my own life.

Crickey, my stomach turns just thinking about the wonky thing I’ve gone and done. This is much bigger than I ever could’ve imagined! I might have traveled between Africa and England, but that was years ago. I never thought I’d have the courage to go against my mum. I’ve finally done it!

The old familiar fear bubbles up from the pit of my stomach and I have to remind myself that I’ve come to experience America, the one place that promises the freedom I’ve been craving for so long. That’s why I’ve done such a wonky-arsed thing. That’s why I’m standing in a stranger’s flat, in a strange town, hoping to experience a strange life.

Actually, that’s not quite true. It’s mostly Chloe’s doing. If it weren’t for her constant encouragement, I wouldn’t even be here. We’ve been joined at the hip (or should I rather say phone) since we met at the nursing college my mum forced me to go to. Studying at the nursing college, was the one time I got to experience a sense of freedom. I met Chloe there and by the time we finished our studies we were best friends.

She hated that we couldn’t visit with each other afterwards. That’s when she came up with the ‘escape the parents’ idea. She wanted me to experience life so she helped plan it all so my mum wouldn’t find out, giving her automatic guardian angel status in my life. It’s not easy going against my mum. I know when I go back there will be hell to pay, but at least this short moment of freedom will be worth it. I’m hoping I can figure out a way so I won’t have to go back. Just maybe a miracle will happen. 

I’d be lost without Chloe. She’s my complete opposite, spontaneous, flirty, but most of all, she’s brave in ways I can only dream of being. She’s already living on her own, working – experiencing life. (Yeah, completely unlike me.) I didn’t even know about international roaming for my phone. Chloe sorted that one out for me, as well.

I wish she were here with me now. The time difference is going to be a pain in the butt for us to communicate. That reminds me, I need to let her know I’ve landed safely.

A smile spreads across my face the second I hear her voice, “I’ve been going nutters! Did you land in one piece? Is the flat nice? What is your flatmate like? Have your parents cont-”

“Chloe! Slow down, one at a time,” I stop her interrogation. I love her dearly, but she’s insanely protective of me. “I’m in one piece, but thanks to all those energy drinks you shoved into my system, I feel jittery.”

I struggle with nightmares and it makes me a restless sleeper. I didn’t want to sleep on the plane. A lot of help the energy drinks were. I fell asleep anyway, waking up to people staring at me, as if I were some mental bat.

“Well, at least you’ll have plenty of energy to have a go at a bloke then,” she teases.

“I said I feel jittery, not energized,” I correct her. “You’re not going to let that one go, are you?” She has made a short list of things I have to experience while here. Having sex with an American bloke is at the top of her list. Getting sloshed is second. She figures I should do both at the same time, it might give me more guts to go through with it, seeing as I still have to hand in my old V-card to begin with. (I’m still debating the whole thing.)

“No, never! If I had the option of losing mine with an American then I would have gone with it, instead of the nutcase I ended up with. Sunshine, you have to let your hormones sing the American Anthem. Take one for the team.”

Chloe only refers to the bloke as a nutcase, she never goes into any detail about her first time or the bloke, and that scares me even more. What if my first time turns out to be the same?

“You did not just say that? Honestly! Take one for the team?” I burst out laughing, desperately trying to laugh my nerves away.

“Yeah, and I want juicy details. You can be glad I’m not asking for photos. What’s the place like?” she asks again, reminding me of her earlier questions.

“The flat is really nice! It’s a two bedroom. It has an open plan kitchen and small lounge. The bedroom is huge, Chloe! It has a lovely cupboard and the window looks out over a beautiful courtyard. Oh, and I have my own bathroom. It’s nothing like the room at home! It’s easily twice as big.” Excitement starts to bubble up as I glance around the room again. “Did I mention the bathroom? It has a shower,” I squeal.

A sense of freedom washes over me as I take in all the space around me. The room is really twice as big as the one I had back home, and I don’t have to run through the house to get to the bathroom. I don’t have to face my mum. I swallow hard on the lump forming in my throat. I’m really free.

“I’m so happy you like it, Sunshine.”

“My flatmate’s not here. The lady that owns the building let me in. She’s so nice. But she was surprised to see me. We got the dates wrong. She expected me on Sunday and for some reason she got it in her mind that I was a bloke, so we had to clear that up, too. I don’t know where she got that idea from.”

“Anyway, I’m glad you’ve settled in. After everything we had to go through to get you there,” she sighs. “We were lucky to have found you a place to stay, and for the university to take you in this late in the semester. You just have to catch up the work. You can do it. It’s only two weeks. Just get enough credit to be able to stay there.”

I love Chloe dearly, she’s become my pillar of strength.

“I will. I’m going to do this. I’m going to show her I can survive on my own.” I feel my chest swell with emotion. That’s all I really want, to be free and to show my mum I don’t need her – I can live without her.

“Just don’t answer your phone if that bitch tries to phone you! Don’t reply to her texts. Don’t let her intimidate you. Remember, she’s all mouth and no trousers. You’re safe there.”

“Thank you for this chance, Chloe. Thank you for making this possible.”

“You know I’d ride a porcupine starkers for you,” she laughs. I don’t know where she heard that, but since she did, she hasn’t stopped saying it.

“Around the world and back,” is the best I can do in the form of telling her I love her. Growing up with Attila the Hun for a mother makes those words hard to say to another person, besides my gran. 

“Now go on! Go get sloshed and grab a dishy bloke. Tonight is the night you get yourself de-virginized!” she all but shrieks in my ear.

“It’s going on ten p.m. this side. Can’t I do it tomorrow night?” I try to put the inevitable off for one more night.

“No. Tonight, or you will never do it. And remember, I want details.” She tries to sound bossy, but fails with the laughter coming through in her voice.

“I wish you were here with me. I don’t know how to ask a bloke. What do I say? I can’t just walk up to one and ask him to shag me.” I’m so nervous I start chewing on the inside of my cheek. At the rate I’m going, I’m bound to chew straight through the flesh before the night is over. 

“That is why you need to get sloshed first. Then you find yourself a bloke, smile that stunning smile of yours and flirt a little. Sunshine, even if you have to put a bloody flag over his face and do it for the old Queen and country, just get it done,” she laughs.

“A lot of help you are. First he has to be decent, now I have to put a flag over his face.” But it’s working. I’m smiling.

Then she comes up with the wonkiest idea ever. “Do you want to practice on me? Pretend I’m a bloke.” I stare all flustered at the phone, before bringing it back to my ear.

“Have you gone mental? That’s even worse than trying to land some bloke!” My face flushes red. “Don’t bother. I’ll get it sorted. I can do this.”

“Just go have fun, Sunshine, you’re too serious about the whole thing. You’re finally free. Go enjoy your freedom.”

“Alright. Freedom. Experiences. Got it,” I’m repeating it all like a bloody parrot, just so it will sink in. “I’ll go dazzle some unsuspecting fellow with my smile and hope it’s enough to get him to shag me.” I’m going to have to get really sloshed for that to happen.

Nervous excitement bubbles in the region of my stomach again, making me feel even more wired. I’m going to go to a pub. I’m going to get sloshed for the first time. Reality is starting to sink in fast now.

“Take your phone with. Ring me if you need me. Text me. I’m on standby,” she says, offering her support to me like she always does.

“You’re the best, you know that, right?” I start to say goodbye.

“No, you’re the best,” she laughs.

“I’ll let you know how it goes.”

My phone beeps just as I cut the call. One glance tells me I can’t run from the inevitable. I’ve ignored all my mum’s messages, but now she has my dad texting me, as well. Chloe would kill me if she knew I was answering them, but I can’t just ignore them – they are my parents.

Where are you? We can’t reach you. Mum is worried.

I’ll reply to him – once only.

I’m taking a break from it all. You deal with Mum.

My breathing starts to speed up and I stop altogether. I start my silly habit to find some manner of calm again. I imagine an eagle taking flight, and I let all my feelings soar away with it. I let the eagle cry on my behalf, and I breathe out. “No! No more.”

I close my eyes, pressing the phone to my forehead. How I wish I could just close off the world like I just did my dad.

~*~

Well, I said I’ve come here to experience life, and the first experience is to find a pub and live it up so I have something to report to Chloe.

Wearing a pair of jeans and a white top covered by a light jacket, I don’t exactly scream
hot girl looking for a bloke to help her get rid of the old V-prob
. But then, I don’t want to dress up like a skank. I still have a slither of pride, even if I’m going to try and land some poor fellow. 

Luckily, it doesn’t take me long to find a place. I only walk a few blocks from the flat when I reach the town. This is why we picked this flat; they said it was nice and close to everything. It’s a pity it’s dark out so I don’t get to see much of the town on my quest to find the pub. I’ve never set foot in a pub and don’t have a clue as to what to expect.

After passing a few restaurants and shops, I spot a couple of skankily dressed girls disappear into a dodgy-looking place. Strikers Bar and Grill, maybe I’ll strike it lucky in there. There should be booze, and where there are girls dressed like that, chaps are likely to follow. Like Chloe said, I only need one half-decent-looking bloke.

I stop in the entrance first, taking in the people and surroundings. I want to make a quick getaway if the place is too dodgy. The music is beating loudly, and it looks just like any old pub I’ve seen in the movies. Weathered, overused dance floor to my right, with some people already dancing. There’s a really overused bar counter to my left. The lighting is dim, and even darker in the corners. People are scattered everywhere. Some are sitting at the bar, where others seem to be having a great time at the separate tables and booths. 

It looks decent enough so I make a mad dash for the bar with the goal of getting rat-arsed first. I find a seat in the far corner, reckoning the darkness could work well to my advantage. It gives me a good view of the rest of the pub, while I can hide and drown my inhibitions. 

My stomach does that nervous twist again as I look over all the people. There are so many blokes I can’t even focus on one. A couple of them look my way and my mouth dries right up. I feel my cheeks flush, and the nervous twist turns into a full-blown war, tearing every last one of my nerves to shreds.  

“It’s like killing two birds with one stone – two massive birds. Like prehistoric size birds. Alright, enough about the birds. Search and destroy all inhibitions by getting thoroughly sloshed,” I mumble, only making the nervous feelings worse. I need to shut up. The last thing I need is for these people to think I’m mental.