Dark Desire (41 page)
"Jacques." She hesitated, wanting to touch him, needing to touch him, but afraid of being lost in the sexual lure she couldn't seem to resist. "How do I know if I'm the one thinking for myself when you're always with me, always sharing my mind?"
"You will have to figure that out for yourself. Shea." His black eyes moved lovingly over her face. "You know me better than anyone, and I have never tried to hide anything from you. If you brand me a monster, even I will believe you." His smile was gentle and reassuring.
Shea took a deep breath and laced her fingers with his. It felt right and natural. The sparks jumped from his skin to hers, and her pulse raced, but she walked quietly through the woods with him, content just to be by his side. Jacques seemed so much a part of her, the air she breathed. She accepted it because he made her complete.
Chapter Sixteen
Gregori was an impressive figure. Shea watched him as he knelt beside Raven, his entire attention seemed to be concentrated on the woman lying so still. "Have you attended to Shea's injuries?" The soft inquiry startled Shea. He addressed Jacques, asking the male, as was his irritating way.
"The wounds are closing," Jacques assured him.
Rand drew Shea alone into the woods. He is the betrayer, healer. I walked away from him because he is linked to Shea. He could make her feel whatever I did to him. He is very dangerous. I cannot be the one to bring him to justice. Shea would never forgive me.
"Don't do that, Jacques," Shea said with a little bite in her voice. She was exasperated with him. "I know you're talking to Gregori. If you have something to say, say it out loud so that I can hear you. You think Rand is the vampire, don't you?"
The thought was in her mind also, and it made her feel disloyal. She knew something was wrong with Rand; perhaps Maggie's death had twisted his mind so he was living in the past. But something Rand had said in the course of their strange conversation was niggling at her brain. Something she couldn't put a finger on.
Gregori passed a hand over Raven's stomach, his fingers splayed wide. His touch lingered for a moment, a surprisingly tender gesture, then he turned to Shea. "Jacques knows his duty to you, Shea. This man, Rand, the one who is your birth father, was never in your life. Hold on to what is real, not to your childhood fantasies."
"You don't know the first thing about my childhood, fantasy or not," Shea snapped, goaded beyond endurance by his unruffled, superior attitude. Gregori definitely grated on her. She suspected it was because he was always using logic.
She
was the one who was supposed to do that. "I have my own mind, Gregori, and it is a perfectly good one. Perhaps the first couple of times we met gave you a false impression. I am not a hysterical woman who runs at the first sign of danger. I don't faint at the sight of blood, and I can make my own decisions."
"If I gave you the idea that I thought those things of you, then I must apologize," Gregori said gently, courteously. "It is not my impression of you at all. You have much courage, and you are a natural healer, but you have little knowledge of our way of life. It takes much to maintain proper health. You have the human aversion to taking blood, as Raven does."
Her chin lifted. "I am well aware I have a problem in that area. In my own time I will deal with it. But there are other much more important things going on at the moment." Beside her Jacques stirred as if to protest, but he remained silent.
"That is where you are wrong. Nothing is more important," Gregori replied, his voice velvet soft, a whisper of power. "Your health is essential to every member of our race. You are a woman. You are able to create life within you. You represent hope to every male who has no lifemate."
"I have no intention of bringing a child into the world."
There was complete silence. Gregori turned the full force of his silver gaze onto her face. His eyes slashed and burned through every barrier until she felt as if he could see every secret in her soul. He let out his breath slowly. "I understand why you would feel this way now, Shea. What was done to you was an abomination. I see the pain in you at this decision. If you can find it in yourself to wait for Jacques to heal completely before you give up such an important dream, I believe you will find that our race loves and cherishes our children, knowing them for the treasures they are. It is the same way we feel about our women."
"Is that why Rand abandoned my mother? Is that why he allowed someone else to raise his own son? Or are only female children cherished by your race?"
Gregori sighed. "All of our children, male and female, are loved and protected, Shea. I do not understand Rand, I never have. At the moment I believe he is very dangerous, and something has to be done about him. In the meadow he set up wires murderous not only to our kind but to humans and animals as well. I spent some time dismantling his traps. He cannot be allowed to continue this mad behavior. You know it, you just do not want to face it."
"Just like that? You can pass judgment on him and not even know for certain? How can you be sure it's him?" Shea found herself twisting her fingers together, trying to find a way out for her father. She remembered all too vividly his breath on her neck, but she pushed the memory away quickly, feeling disloyal again.
"Because none of us felt his presence in the forest," Jacques answered her gently. A shadow in her mind, he could clearly see the conflict between her brain and her emotions. "Only you felt him, Shea. He was able to wake you despite my command to sleep. He deliberately lured you into the forest and tried to take your blood to strengthen his hold on you."
"Maybe he's ill. Maybe he's confused. He could have forced me. Why didn't he force me, Jacques? He certainly could have," she pointed out. "He's quite a bit stronger than me, and I felt as if I was in a dreamlike state. Why didn't he simply force me, if he's really a vampire?"
"Because a lifemate cannot be forced to choose. It must be a true choice. Otherwise a true bond is not formed. He knows that." Jacques reached out to her. "It is ingrained in him, imprinted before birth."
Shea stepped away from him, rubbed at her throbbing temples. "Why is everything with you people so darned complicated, Jacques? Nothing like this ever happened to me while I was human."
"You were half-human, Shea," Jacques reminded her gently, "and you know you were in danger even then. Your mother had the presence of mind to hide you from the fanatical society that was pursuing you."
Shea shivered and rubbed her arms to warm herself. "I just wish we could go somewhere, Jacques, and sort all this out. I need to find a way to forgive you for using me to kill those men."
Mikhail's form shimmered into solidity right before Shea's eyes, nearly stopping her heart. He smiled at her. "I must thank you for returning my love to me. Without her, my life would be worthless. You are a great asset to our people. It is unfortunate that you have been cast into our world without any preparation to make the transition easier. These are hard times for all of us." He touched her arm gently. "Please forgive us for using you to stop Slovensky and Wallace. We could not allow them to kill Raven or snatch you, as was their intention. Raven could not help us, so we turned to you. It was wrong to use you without your consent, but time did not allow the luxury of asking your permission. Your lifemate could do no other than protect your life, and from that distance it is impossible to do anything without seeing through another's eyes."
Mikhail was eloquent and sincere, and Shea could not be angry with him. She sighed and bit her lower lip. "I wish it hadn't happened that way, Mikhail, but I'm glad Raven is alive."
"I do not understand how those two humans were able to disguise their presence from us. I monitored Raven continually," Mikhail said. "The two of you should never have been in any danger. I scanned the surroundings; Gregori scanned, as did Jacques. A vampire might be able to confuse us, but certainly the humans could not."
"I, too, scanned." Raven stirred weakly, her voice a thin thread. "I detected no danger to us, yet Shea was uneasy and certain we were not alone almost from the beginning. I dismissed her fears, thinking her separation from Jacques the cause."
"It was only Shea who could detect the vampire in the woods," Jacques said.
Shea found herself the center of attention. Instinctively she moved toward Jacques. He wrapped an arm around her waist, his body protective toward hers. "I know you're all thinking it was Rand. I don't want it to be him. I want to have a family."
"You have a family," Mikhail said gently. "I am your family. Raven is your family. Our child will be, and of course you have Jacques. Someday you will have children." He sent a slight grin in Gregori's direction. "You can even claim the healer as family. We do, although he dislikes it intensely. We are together, and we are close. These past several days are not a real example of what our existence is like. We are under attack, and must defend ourselves. Most of the time our life is much like that of the human world. Do not judge us by recent days. These are exceptional times."
"Maybe Byron can tell us who betrayed him," Shea suggested desperately. "Can't we wait for what he has to say before we condemn Rand?" What was it that bothered her so much? And what was it Rand said had?
Jacques held her close. "No one
wants
it to be Rand, little red hair, and you can be assured no one will act without certain proof."
Shea knew he was seeking to reassure her, even as he believed implicitly that her father was the betrayer. Some part of her knew it to be true. Away from Rand, she was able to see things more clearly. He wasn't just a man confused and tormented by her mother's death. He could be a calculating, cold killer.
Shea closed her eyes, unable to face where her thoughts were going. Jacques could not be the one to take Rand's life. He just couldn't. Warmth flooded her mind, and his arm tightened protectively around her.
There is no need for me to hunt Rand should he prove to be the vampire preying on our people. The others can take care of it. We can go far from this place if that is your desire, my love.
If Rand was the vampire, the betrayer, Jacques would have more reason than anyone to want to ruthlessly destroy him. Yet she could not bear the idea.
Thank you, Jacques. I don't want you to be the one to take his life if it really comes to that.
Let us go to Byron, and I will do as I promised. Then we will find a place to rest.
Shea nodded, her head brushing his chest. She could hear the reassuring beat of his heart, feel the heat in his body rising to meet hers. He was solid and real, and she owed it to both of them to take things slowly and make rational decisions. Right at this moment, Shea was not certain she was capable of such a thing. Her brilliant brain seemed to be malfunctioning lately.
"We go to Byron, healer—do you follow?" Jacques asked.
Gregori reluctantly left Raven to Mikhail. A woman could not be possibly be claimed before her eighteenth birthday.
Every moment of the healer's existence would be an endurance test, living in hell until the child came of age. He would hunt and feed and resist the kill unless he was called on to dispense justice. That would be the most dangerous of all times, walking away from the power of taking a life. And somewhere, close by, Rand was waiting.
As Gregori turned to follow Jacques and Shea, Mikhail stopped him. "Could the humans have found some kind of chemical to cloak their presence from us? If they have done so, we are all in grave danger, and we must move to meet this new threat."
"Anything is possible, but it is more likely the vampire is using a shadow spell. It is ancient and all but forgotten. I came across it in the lost book of Shallong. He buried it with his evil tokens in the mountain of souls. I thought no other had dared to travel there." Gregori glanced after Shea to assure himself she was out of hearing.
"It is entirely possible," Gregori continued, "even probable, that Rand rose more then seven years ago, found Shea's mother already dead, and turned. In his hatred he would blame you and Jacques. He could have studied the ancient arts and returned to lead Slovensky and his nephew to kill our people seven years ago. None of us knew he had risen, so he was never a suspect. Jacques thought he knew the betrayer, was close to him at one time. Rand was his family through Noelle."
"Do you believe Rand would have his own son tortured, mutilated?"
"Noelle's son, Mikhail. If Rand is as twisted as I suspect, he was the one who aided the humans in their murders seven years ago. We are all in danger, particularly Jacques. The only one who might escape death is Shea, and she would suffer greatly."
"He knows we will hunt him now. He will try to run."
Gregori shook his head. "No, he has worked too hard for revenge. This is hatred, Mikhail. He lives to kill, and we are the ones he must seek. He will stay here and continue to try to lure Shea to him."
"You will warn Jacques."
"There is no need. Jacques knows. He will keep Shea close to him. Jacques is dangerous, Mikhail. You persist in thinking him the younger brother you need to protect. He has grown to great power. Rand will underestimate him. He does not recognize the monster he himself created."
"I am not certain I like you referring to my brother as a monster." There was a trace of humor in Mikhail's voice.
"You should hear what I call you behind your back," Gregori said, even as his arms spread to accommodate the wings forming.
Mikhail's laughter echoed as the bird soared into the night sky.
The cave of healing was smaller than most of the other chambers in the maze of underground tunnels. The soil was rich, dark, and fertile. It smelled pleasant, with the aroma of herbs mixed with the natural fragrance of the earth. Shea's hand found Jacques' back pocket and slipped inside, a link between them as they surveyed the extent of Byron's injuries. Shea felt a helpless sense of deja vue. Smith and Wallace had not had as much time to torture him as they had Jacques, but nevertheless his body was blackened with burns and covered with cuts.