Dark Heart (30 page)

“Become what you are?” She heard her voice as if from a great distance away.

“Yes. It is the safest option for you.”

“Join you or die? Is that it?” she asked bitterly.

“Sandra, I can’t always be around to protect you from Kalzar. If he is determined, he will kill you. And he is a zealot. Few thoughts enter his small mind, but once they do, they never leave.”

“You’re serious…,” she said. Suddenly she laughed. Laughed even as she realized she was crying. This morning she’d been a cop. She lived in Chicago, a city in the United States in the twentieth century. Now she didn’t know who or where or even when she was. She felt a horrifying lack of stability, as if the cathedral was made of the smoke rising from the altar candles.

“I am serious, Sandra,” Justin pleaded. “I want you with me forever. I love you.”

Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. She loved him, too, but she couldn’t say it. There was…too much between them. She couldn’t just…an ocean of blood roiled between them. McKenzie’s death. Madrone. Zack. Baxter. Wheeler. Who was Justin, really? Who was this Dragon who was prepared to grant her immortal life? And for what price?

“I want that Arab’s head on a plate,” she said. “You may be able to tolerate him, but I can’t. I don’t care how he goes down, but I want him down.”

“The end justifies the means?”

“Damn straight!”

Justin smiled. “You see? I knew we were the same, you and I.”

She said nothing.

He reached out and took her hand. “I have answered your questions. I have but one for you.”

Sandra nodded.

“You left, that first night we spent together. Why? It was lovely. Why did you leave?”

Sandra licked her dry lips and averted her gaze from his. “I was afraid,” she said. “Benny got that right. I had a husband once…” She told him everything. The beatings, the verbal abuse, how she kept coming back for more of the same…

“I’ve been afraid to trust my emotions since then. After I escaped that whole fucked-up situation, I always felt that I had damned myself with my own lying heart. I…didn’t want to do that again. I couldn’t bear to lose myself that way again. When I spent the night with you, I let down my guard, and you crept in.” She paused, looked up at him. “I didn’t want you to be there. I didn’t want to admit that I…”

“What?” he asked softly.

“That I’d fallen in love with you.”

He reached out a hand and touched her cheek. “How could anyone strike such a wonder as you?” he whispered. “Of all the sins I have seen, that must be the greatest.”

She bowed her head, then looked at him. “Your friends Omar and Kalzar have been taking turns sinning, then, since the day I met you.”

“Sandra…” He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “I would never do that.”

She nodded. “I don’t think you would.”

He rose, still holding her hand. She looked up at him.

“You need some time alone,” he said. “I think it’s best if I leave for a while.”

“Yes.”

He let go of her hand and began walking quietly down the aisle.

“Justin?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He turned. “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“For saving my life back at the club.”

“You’re welcome.”

S
andra pulled into the District Eighteen lot and parked close to the door. After the events of the last few days, she saw danger in every shadow. Any little noise sent a spike of adrenaline racing through her body. She was exhausted, but she didn’t want to go home. She knew the moment she touched her bed, she would fall asleep, and she couldn’t afford to sleep now. Not while Kalzar still walked the earth free, in whatever form he chose. She wanted to trust Justin, but she had wanted to trust him before, and now Mac was dead.

Sweet, loud-mouthed, dependable Mac. Sandra dreaded talking to Linda more than anything else. And she hadn’t, not yet, at least. She had her own pain to deal with first.

Sandra spent another hour at the cathedral after Justin left, trying to pull herself together. Somehow, she felt he was watching her the entire time. The sensation left her with conflicting emotions. Was the dragon at the door to protect her from other dragons? Or to devour her the moment she stepped outside?

She went up the stairs to the precinct and to her desk. She didn’t see who was working graveyard, and she didn’t care. She had only two purposes here now.

Her fingers felt numb as she scribbled out a note and signed it. She had no idea what time it was. Looking at the windows, she realized it must be near sunrise. The night was giving way to day along the eastern horizon in the faintest of pastel glows.

After folding the note, she searched through her desk for an envelope. Not finding one immediately, she started toward the captain’s office. She was too tired to be bothered with details.

“Sandra,” the captain’s voice stopped her. She looked up to see him standing in his doorway. He was a stocky man in his forties, a little taller than she was. His dark red hair had a few streaks of white in it. She had always been impressed by how muscular his forearms were, all covered with that curly, crimson hair. His face had always seemed old to her, which was odd because he had almost no wrinkles. Only a few at the corners of his eyes. Perhaps it was just the way he looked at her. It seemed like he knew more than anyone alive. He appraised her, checking for injuries.

“Captain…” She blinked, swallowed, and tried to think of something to say. She hadn’t expected him to be in the precinct at this hour. “You’re here early.”

He nodded. “I told you not to come in, unless IA called. You’re on med. leave, Sandra. Why the hell are you here?”

She held up the note. “I’m sorry this isn’t couched in official language on the proper form, but I just can’t handle going through all the channels right now.”

“What is it?” He raised a bushy red eyebrow in inquiry.

“Request for a formal leave of absence. Of indefinite length.”

“Sandra…I’m sorry about Mac. He was one of my friends, too.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I know.” She passed him the piece of paper.

“You sure you want to take this kind of leave right now? A medical is understandable, but people will talk about this. It might not be so easy to come back.” He paused. “There’ll be questions about you…about your mental health.”

“I know. I don’t care.”

“Will you at least bring Johnson and DeWitt up to speed on where you and Mac were with your cases?”

“It’s all in my files—every bit of it. Though I think I can guarantee they’re not going to like my conclusions.” She thought for a minute. “If you want, I’ll write it up now.”

“Later is fine.”

“Good.” She turned and started walking away. The captain didn’t say anything. As she passed Mac’s desk, she looked down at all his paperwork, scattered about. She could hear his phone ringing in her mind. She could see him picking it up, talking to Linda with that patient expression on his face. Grunting and nodding and shrugging at Sandra as she waited.

The tears threatened to overwhelm her again, and she turned away. The captain had followed her. He was talking to her, but she hadn’t heard a word of what he was saying.

“—they can call you if they need help or background on your conclusions, right?”

She shook her head.

“Don’t you want us to catch this guy, McCormick?”

She shook her head. “Yes, sir. I want him caught. Just, maybe, not the way you think…” She cut herself off and began walking away again.

“Sandra.” The captain’s voice carried across the room. It had that tone she had heard so many times when he was warning an officer away from a course of action. “Don’t try anything on your own. We’re cops, not vigilantes.”

She kept going. Following the hall she’d walked so often with her partner at her side, talking about nothing, him teasing her, getting on her nerves. She couldn’t get his voice out of her head, so she just listened to it and remembered. Mac smiling. Mac laughing. Mac talking to Linda.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I gotta go. Look, Sandra’s here, I gotta go…

Sandra got in her car and drove to the coroner’s office.

She pushed through the door and went inside, followed the darkened hallway to find an attendant.

He was a tall young man with a big nose, bony and a little bent to the side. She’d seen him around. He’d been working here for more than a year. He was handsome in a lost-little-kid way.

He glanced up from a microscope and smiled hesitantly. “Hi,” he said, “how can I help you?”

“You worked on the Zack Miller case with Dr. Benson, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “A little.”

“Can you help me? I need to know some things about the Miller kid.”

He nodded back. “Sure…uh, what, exactly?”

“I want you to see something. Pull the file and meet me in the examination room.”

“Okay.” He seemed confused, but he went to get the file and Sandra continued into the examination room. One wall was all stainless steel, covered with twelve square doors, each about the size of a dorm refrigerator’s. The meat lockers. Bodies were kept here, chilled and waiting, until the police were finished with them, and then they were sent to the city morgue. Miller’s body would be long gone, but that was all right. The coroner kept extensive records, videotapes, and photos.

The young doctor returned a moment later with a file. Sandra had looked it over before. Among the contents were photographs of Zack Miller’s grisly wound, and a few suppositions as to what could have caused it. Nothing concrete. But now Sandra knew what could rip a hole in a man’s chest like that. She had felt those claws rip into her own body.

The young man was shuffling through the photographs. Looking up at her, he said. “What exactly did you want me to review?”

“The wound.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, I remember. Unknown puncture wound, punched through the rib cage. Probably a steel mechanism. Powerful launching device.”

“Right.” She paused. “What’s your name?” she asked.

“Joe,” he said.

“Okay, Joe. I want you to look at something for me.” Sandra began unbuttoning her blouse. Joe actually took a step back, gulping and turning red to his hairline. He blinked several times, and seemed to be searching for something to say, and something to look at far above her head. Finally he just closed his mouth and tried to look elsewhere as Sandra removed her blouse and then her bra.

She ripped the bandages off her breast and shoulder to reveal the wounds. “I want you to identify these for me.”

Joe coughed nervously, turned his head to look at her while keeping his body facing the other direction. “Um, well, that is…where did you get those marks?” He looked into her eyes, unwilling to look lower.

Sandra’s gaze turned flinty and she closed in on him, took his hand, and put it on her shoulder just where Kalzar’s claws had rested.

“Can we get on with this?” she asked.

“Y-yeah, sure,” he nodded. He craned his neck to look. “Um, maybe you should, uh…maybe you should lie down. I’m sorry. All the people I’m used to working on tend to be, um, lying down.”

Sandra hopped on one of the tables. Joe grabbed some latex gloves out of a cardboard box and pulled them on. He did seem more relaxed once she was on her back, although he got a little flustered every time she moved. The fact that her chest rose and fell as he examined the wound seemed to unnerve him a little. But she waited patiently, and finally he was finished looking over her injuries.

“Okay…,” he began. “I…well, what did you want to know?”

“This was obviously done by some sort of claw, correct?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Imagine that what killed Miller was also a claw.”

“Okay,” Joe said.

“Is it the same claw that made this mark on me?”

Interest lit in the coroner’s eyes and he shuffled through the photographs of Miller’s chest, pulled a few out, and then focused on one in particular. Sandra remained still while he probed at her again, looking at each of her small wounds in turn, and then backing up and looking at them as a whole.

He held the photograph he’d chosen up against her chest as he looked. Slowly he shook his head. “No. Not the same.”

Taking the photograph from her belly, she handed it to Joe as she sat up. Immediately he was nervous again. She put her bra on.

“Why?” she asked, pulling her blouse on.

“Well, um, do you mind if I ask you where you got that wound?” He indicated her chest.

“Yes. I mind. Why are they different?”

“Oh, well, Miller’s killer’s claw—if it was a claw—was larger. The incision points were wider than the claw wound around your…on your chest.”

“And that’s all? It’s larger? Are you sure it wasn’t the same claw simply opened up wider?”

“Well, no, because it’s not just the size that’s different. Miller’s claw had four incision points. Three and one—like an eagle’s talon. Three claws on one side and one directly opposite on the other side. Yours is like a human hand would be if it had claws. Well, more so than an eagle’s talon, anyway. You’ve got four wound points on your chest. Three and one, except the opposing claw isn’t directly opposite, but off to the side like a human thumb.”

Sandra slid from the table as she finished buttoning her blouse. Looking him straight in the eye, she asked, “You mean there is absolutely no way these two wounds could have come from the same claw?”

“No. If they were animals, I’d say they were similar, but a different species. Close, but definitely not the same creature.”

Sandra made a fumbling, dazed attempt at tucking in her shirt.

“That’s not the answer you wanted, was it?” Joe asked hesitantly.

“No,” she said as she headed for the door, leaving the rest of her blouse untucked. “No, it wasn’t.”

O
n a normal day, Sandra would race up the stairs to her apartment at a steady pace, giving her legs their daily workout. This time, she plodded. Using the elevator would have been faster, but she had no intention of being trapped in a closed space right now.

Mac was dead, Kalzar wanted to kill her, and nobody around here was safe—including Benny. Even Justin had said he couldn’t protect her from Kalzar forever. And why had Justin dragged Benny into it? Had Justin made that connection with Benny just to have something to hold over her? Or did he like her brother for himself—Justin would certainly be able to see beneath the scarred surface to the real man inside. Sandra couldn’t help wondering why Justin had taken such an interest in Benny. She worried that it wasn’t a good sign for Benny’s continued health.

Could she just grab Benny and drive to another city? She doubted it. But she had to try. He was the only person they could use against her now. She wouldn’t lose him like she’d lost Mac. Once she had Benny safely hidden, she would come back.

It was past time for a reckoning. Kalzar would pay for killing Mac. But Benny had to be safe first.

And Justin? What about Justin?

It was too confusing. Her thoughts whirled. She could find no clear resolution for the situation. There was a part of her that would gladly spend the rest of her life with Justin, but the rest of her immortal life? Serving a master who could, and did, force his servants to murder the innocent? Could she reconcile the part of herself that loved Justin the man with the part of herself that loathed him for what he became at the master’s hands? He was a killer. She’d spent her adult life bringing killers to justice. How could she possibly still love him? Did she?

Sandra’s fatigue pulled at her. She wanted to sleep, but she didn’t dare. She didn’t have a moment to spare. Kalzar was still out there, walking free, and Mac was dead. She knew she wouldn’t find rest until that situation ended, either with Kalzar in jail—or dead. For Mac’s sake. For Benny’s sake. And for her own sake, and her unshakable belief in the power of justice.

She entered the condo and found Benny looking out the window. Awake again, despite the early hour. It was unlike him. The lights were off, but the sun was just up, pink dawn light streaming into the room throwing long shadows.

She wondered if he’d awakened because he was worried about her. She didn’t know if she could face him telling her how happy he was that she had loosened up and spent another night at Justin’s—tell her that she needed to trust men again. If only he knew…

“Benny,” she said wearily, closing the door behind her. He didn’t move. “We’ve got to leave. We’ve got to leave Chicago. Today. Now. In half an hour or so. I want you to—” Her brother still hadn’t moved. His back was to her, and she couldn’t see his face.

“Benny?” she cried, her voice going tight in terror. “Benny!”

She crossed the room, shoving aside a table that blocked her path. Grabbing his wheelchair, she spun it around.

Benny jumped up out of his chair. His arms encircled her in a big hug and he lifted her off the ground, laughing.

Inside her, something went over the edge. She heard herself screaming. Terror filled her heart. Ducking low, she broke the grip of Benny’s arms and shoved him, hard. He landed in a tangled sprawl of arms and legs. She stepped back from him, shocked at what she’d done, fighting to get herself under control. Benny was lying on the floor, looking bewildered. He shook his head a little.

“Whoa, ace, remind me never to surprise you.” He stood up. He was
standing!

“B-Benny?” she said, her breath coming fast.

“Isn’t it great?” He laughed and leaped into the air, pointing at his nose. His perfectly straight nose. It was completely normal, healed. All the scars on his face were gone. All the deformities wiped away as if Benny had stepped from the distant past into this present day, whole and well.

“What…what have you done?” she asked, backing away from him. She bumped into his wheelchair, stumbled past it, and leaned up against the wall.

“Me? I’ve become whole again. I’m walking! I’m jumping! I’m sparring with you, I guess! I don’t know! Look at me, Sandy! I can
walk!
” He started toward her, as if to prove it.

“Stay away from me,” she yelled. Her wide eyes flicked from him to his wheelchair and back to Benny’s face.

Benny stopped dead as if she’d shot him. His smile vanished. “Sandra…,” he said, concerned. “It’s all right. I know it seems strange, but…”

“I’m going crazy,” she whispered. She shook her head, closed her eyes to see if the strange new world she’d walked into would vanish when she opened them again.

“Benny…tell me how this happened.”

“You won’t believe how wonderful it is, Sandra. You can’t imagine what it’s like to go from being able to walk to not being able to walk and then back again. I feel like I could kick the walls down. No more pity and disgust in people’s eyes. Fuck that. Fuck them!” His eyes radiated a strange combination of joy and contempt.

“Benny…” Sandra heard her voice go flat, as the truth began to dawn on her, the only truth it could be. “How did this happen to you?”

“Justin showed me a mirror. I looked into it and—”

“A mirror! No, Benny! When?” Sandra gasped.

“A little while ago. He came by and—”

“He did this to you?” Sandra’s throat tightened. She couldn’t move. Despair settled around her like a black cloak, followed by a searing, white-hot rage.

“Did this to me? You make it sound like a sin, not a blessing.” He paused, staring at her, then shook his head. “No, it was the Dragon.”

“Where is he? Where’s Justin?” she snarled.

“He’s not here now. He left, but Sandra, don’t be angry. He told me what happened at the club, about Mac. I’m sorry about him, but look…just look at me! Sandra, he showed me the mirror. Inside it…you wouldn’t believe. The Dragon was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen. That story Justin told us at the restaurant, it’s all true! It was the Dragon in that mirror, and he’s everything Justin claimed he was. The Dragon looked inside me, said it could see the strength trapped there, and it asked me if I wanted to be released.”

“Save me from this…,” she whispered. Sandra’s mind filled with images of Benny slaughtering Zack Miller, of Benny punching a hole through Jack Madrone’s chest.

“I said yes,” Benny’s voice lowered, awed, “and he gave me my life back.”

“Oh, no, Benny!” Sandra pressed back against the wall. “God, no, Benny…!” When the Dragon decided to kill her, would it send Benny after her?

She felt herself falling, and Benny was there, holding her up, just as he’d done when she’d fled from Chuck. Just as she’d done for him after the accident.

“Don’t touch me,” she said. She felt herself sliding down the wall. Benny grabbed her, held her upright. His arms were incredibly strong. “Please, no….”

“Don’t be silly,” he said unhappily. “It’s still me, Sandra. Your crazy brother Benny. Everything is going to be all right. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she said, breaking his hold and shoving him away. He stumbled backward a couple of paces and she tried to run past him. She bumped into his wheelchair. She picked it up and hurled it to one side.

He watched, stricken, as she ran from him. She clutched and fumbled at the front door, flung it open, and lurched out, slamming it closed behind her.

Benny walked the few steps to the door and stopped before it, tragedy written in the lines of his face. An elegant figure emerged from the hallway. The man laid a hand on Benny’s shoulder.

“What happened, Justin? Why did it go wrong?” Benny asked, his voice trembling. “I did what you said.”

“She is only frightened, my friend,” Justin replied. He, too, was disappointed.

“I wasn’t frightened.”

“Everyone reacts differently. Give her time. She’ll come around.”

“I guess so.” Benny sounded dubious. “I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t be excited for me, at least. This is so amazing.”

“She has not had an easy time of it lately. Keep in mind—you didn’t see Mac’s dead body, or feel Kalzar’s claws rip your flesh. She’s had reason to fear us in the past. Give her time to deal with the changes.” He paused, and then spoke again. “She is still in very real danger. She is not yet one of us. We must protect her. Take a cab and follow her.”

He withdrew a small, folded piece of paper. “Here is my cell phone number. I will keep the phone with me at all times. The moment you see Kalzar or any other suspicious person near her, call me immediately. Do not hesitate, because they will not allow her to live unless she accepts the change. The Dragon’s disciples are many. She’s in the greatest danger of her life right now. We must give her our help, whether she asks for it or not.”

“Don’t worry about that, Justin. Sandra means more to me than any of this. They won’t get to her without going through me.”

Justin gripped Benny’s shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Yes, Benny, they will. I know how you feel. Strong enough to beat down mountains, but it’s not enough. Don’t try to be a hero. You’ll fail. You cannot withstand Kalzar. He will tear you open and then let you watch as he guts her. Call me.”

“Okay, Justin,” Benny promised. “You have my word.”