Dark Ice (12 page)

“Terrified.”
      

Chapter Eleven

There were only so many places to dump a body in the city. The animal in him called for survival, it wanted blood, needed flesh. It had been so long since Dane had fed properly. The scent of the animal propelled his cravings into overdrive.

Dane flicked the blanket over the dead animal, hoping it would mask the smell. The hulking body sat in the passenger seat of Darius’ car, the blanket found in the trunk hiding it from sight for both passersby and himself.

Another foreign emotion filled him for the umpteenth time today. Pride. He wouldn’t touch the carcass no matter how much his hunger gnawed at him. The bastard had tried to hurt Lea, his woman. He had to kill the wolf, there was no alternative. There was no room for leniency in his world. Dane knew what he was and would make no apology for it. But he regretted that Lea had to witness the deadly fight.

The look of revulsion and terror on her face would be etched into his mind forever. He never wanted her to look on him in fear. The last humane section of his heart shattered sending shards of pain through his body. He’d been stupid to allow it to get this far. In their dreams they were relatively safe, but if he stayed with her in real life, she’d be constantly in danger. The body of the wolf next to him was concrete proof.

It had almost broken his steel resolve to leave her and walk through the door. He cursed and shook himself out of his reprieve. What was done was done. Dane hit the hands free phone on the dash of Darius’ car and dialed the number for his cousin.

“Cousin,” Darius’ voice echoed through the car. “I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”

“I need somewhere to dump a body,” Dane stated badly.

Silence met his request.

“Whose body?” Darius asked cautiously.

“The wolf, Sebastian,” Dane spat out. He stopped at a traffic light and glanced around the intersection. This early in the morning not a soul stirred in the predawn light. Nobody but him, and the way his heart sat heavy, he wasn’t sure his soul was intact anymore.

“What happened? Is the woman okay?”

“The wolf arrived at Lea’s house and tried to attack her. I killed it.” Dane drove on, not sure where he was going. He swallowed. “Lea is unharmed.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say she was okay. She wasn’t. She was terrified of him.

“Dane—,” Darius started, obviously hearing the underlying pain in Dane’s words.

“Darius don’t start. I need to dispose of the wolf.”

“Okay,” Darius sighed. “Come to my apartment building, pull into the underground garage. I’ll meet you there.”

After Darius gave him the parking access code, Dane hung up. He didn’t want to hear what Darius had to say. He didn’t want to feel any hope. That emotion disappeared the instant he saw confused terror darken Lea’s deep brown eyes.

The drive to Darius apartment building was uneventful, though the stench of a fresh kill tormented Dane consistently. He pulled into the underground garage and got out of the car, relieved to have some space between him and the wolf.

 
“Are you alright?”

Dane whipped around to see Darius standing behind him. Damn the man was quick, silent and deadly. He could sneak up on you and have your throat removed before you heard him. Dane was glad they were kin.

“Fine,” he grunted, looking around the abandoned car park. “Where do we take the body?”

Darius eyed him with those translucent blue eyes before he gestured toward a door adjacent to the exit. “It’s a stairwell to the basement. There’s an incinerator down there. Very convenient for our kind.”

Dane crossed to the passenger door, opened it and pulled the body out, still wrapped in the blanket. He tossed it over one shoulder and slammed the car door shut with his foot. Darius walked next to him and opened the stairwell door. Dane made his way down the stairs with Darius at his back, the only man he would ever allow in that position.

The confined stairwell pressed in on Dane, his massive shoulders scrapped the cool concrete walls making him almost claustrophobic. He took a deep breath to calm his already agitated nerves and wished he didn’t. Death and blood hit his nostrils and filled his head making him giddy with hunger. He gritted his teeth but couldn’t contain the growl low in his throat. At the bottom of the stairs, Darius stepped around him on a small landing and punched in numbers on a keypad and the security door opened.

“Just shove him in the furnace, it’s hot enough to get rid of most of the evidence. The guy who cleans it out is on my payroll. He doesn’t ask too many questions.”

Darius opened the metal door with a pair of long handled tongs and Dane baulked at the intense heat emanating from it. Hissing, he threw in the carcass of Sebastian and was glad to be relieved of its weight. The blanket unwrapped to reveal part of the wolf before the flames conquered the flesh.

Dane turned away from the heat. Darius stood with the furnace door open, a look of incredulous surprise on his face.

“What?” Dane demanded.

“You didn’t feed?”

“No.” Dane turned away.

“Why? I know it’s been too long since you last fed. Obviously the wolf isn’t the first thing I would choose, but it’s still flesh.” Darius closed the door with a loud clunk and came toward Dane.

“I won’t devour something that tried to harm Lea. Kill it, yes. Eat it, no.”

“I see,” Darius said quietly.

Dane turned on him, his anger coming to the surface. “See what?” he growled.

“You love her.”

He said it with such simplicity, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. But nature had many sides, as did he. Dangerous sides, ones that would inflict fear and pain.

“I’m a bear for Christ’s sake.” His anger seeped from him at those words, to be replaced by hopelessness at the truth of it.

“There is hope, Dane. If she loves you in return.”

Dane stared at his cousin incredulously. “How can she love what I am? I accept what I am and make no apologies for it. But look at me,” he gestured to his blood covered torso, the gaping wounds across his body. He reveled in the pain of them; it was something physical, something other than this helpless desperation that filled his heart.

“This,” he gestured again, “is our world. Pain, blood and death. Constant threats and fear.” He started to pace across the hard tiled floor. “This is what we live with. Would you ask one you loved to enter that world?”

He said it with ferocity, hardening his heart and resolve to his own words. When Darius said nothing he stopped pacing and turned to face him.

Darius stood with his body and face hard as stone. Dane sensed the animal in him straining close to the surface. He had touched a nerve and Dane’s animal blood pounded through his veins at the scent of it. It wanted to turn him. Dane clamped his jaw and fought for control. If he turned in reaction to Darius’ anger there would be an inevitable fight. It was the last thing he wanted. He remained still, pushing his animal instincts into the background. When he had a semblance of control he stepped toward Darius, his hands held palm up in a gesture of friendship and trust.

“I mean no harm in my words, Cousin. Too much has happened, I am not myself.” He gave the rare admission in hopes it would calm Darius. Even in his own heartbreak, he was not blind to his cousin’s pain. “I need to go back home. I need to cool my blood in the ice. Feed and leave these dreams behind.”

“Look out for the woman for me.” He couldn’t bring himself to say her name again. “Rin, the venator, will probably protect her until my scent leaves her permanently.” The thought brought shards of ice through his heart. He swallowed bitter bile. “He’s a good man, as far as venators go and he takes his duty seriously.”

“So you’d leave your woman to those who hunt us?”

Dane snarled. “She’s not my woman.” He turned away. “She can’t be.”

“I never thought to see the day that you’d give up.”

“I’m not giving up,” Dane yelled. “I’m trying to protect her.”

“Protect her from what?”

“Me!” Dane bellowed. Heated anger coursed through him, his emotions in turmoil. Part of him yearned to turn back to his true bear form. To have a release of these overpowering human emotions. Another part of him took a perverse pleasure in them, wanted to feel the euphoria of how he felt when he was with Lea. And all of him wanted her.

“You are a dangerous man, even in our world.” Darius stepped in front of Dane and placed his hand on his uninjured shoulder. Dane fought hard not to fling him off.

“But a polar bear would not harm his mate. I am sure of it.”

“Would you bet your life on it?” Dane asked.

Darius winced, unable to answer truthfully.

“No. I thought not and I won’t bet Lea’s life on it.” Dane sighed. “Cousin, I would not have us part ways in anger.”

“Nor me.” Darius removed his hand and let it drop to his side. “I shall watch your woman, but—”

“She’s not my—” interrupted Dane, heat searing his voice.

“She’s your woman,” Darius said, holding up a hand to stop Dane’s words. “Whether you admit it or not, she is yours. She holds your scent.” He looked Dane up and down with an observant eye. “She probably has your heart by now too. Your animal instincts already know it. It’s just your pain in the ass logical human side that is causing the conflict.”

Dane raised a sardonic eyebrow at Darius’ observations and he knew there was an element of truth to his words. But no matter how strong his animal instincts, he couldn’t deny his human side. The part of him that ruled his logic told him Lea wasn’t safe in his world and although his animal half craved her, all of him knew what the price would be for her protection. The price was his heart. A price he would gladly pay, but would Lea truly realize what it meant to enter into his world?
 

“No matter the reason, the outcome’s the same. A human woman isn’t safe in our world and I was a fool to believe otherwise.” Dane clasped his cousin on the back. “It’s time for me to leave.”

“I’ll keep an eye on your woman for you.”

“Thanks, Cousin.”

Dane looked at Darius a moment longer, knowing he wouldn’t see him for a very long time. He wouldn’t come back to the city, not while Lea was still here and it had been eons since Darius visited the wild icy plains of their homeland.

Turning, Dane walked back up the stairs, out of the building and into the still-quiet city. He glanced around, his heart heavy, and continued to walk to the outskirts of town. Perhaps he’d be back here sooner than he anticipated; human lives were a lot shorter than those of the versipellis. His chest constricted in pain at the thought. He knew she’d have a better life without him in it, a safer, normal existence. Even if he stayed he would have to watch her grow old and die. He didn’t know if he could stand it.

But even if he could have a few blissful years with Lea in his life, it would be as near to heaven as his kind would ever hope to reach.

Dane started to pick up the pace, wanting to get rid of some excess energy. All this contradiction would drive him insane. He couldn’t have her, wouldn’t endanger her life. That was the end of it.

With a howl of agony and frustration, Dane transformed and ran full speed across the outskirts of the smaller towns. He tried to block out his human mind, thoughts he could barely process, and concentrated on the animal he was.

Blood pounded through him, his heart near bursting as he pushed himself harder, faster. The thick muscles through his legs burnt like fire and still he pushed on, taking pleasure in the physical sense of his nature.

Finally he reached the ice fields, their white expanse spreading out on all horizons. He howled again, this time it echoed across the plains, reflecting the pain both in his defunct soul and throughout his body. Dane continued to race across the fields of ice, his injuries burning passed endurance. But he’d rather that than allow the agony of his heart to be felt.

He pushed through the pain and upped his pace, soon he left blooded paw prints in his wake, as his wounds opened. No matter, he’d be home soon, his den now visible in the distance.

Dane grunted as he finally slowed, blood seeping into the ice turning it from white to garish pink. He stopped at the entrance of his den, stood on his hind legs with great effort and sniffed. Something had been close to his home, the remnants of a foul stench tickled his nostrils. He searched his mind at the familiarity of the smell, but it was his instinct that told him what it was. The strange foreign creature he’d encountered during one of his dreams with Lea. It had been here recently.

Cautiously, he lowered himself to all fours, readied himself for battle, and stepped into his home. No creature lurked in his den, there was no scent detectable here. It hadn’t fouled his home and entered.

Dane looked around the white sparseness of the room; something glinted on the floor against the white hard packed snow. He stepped over to it and sniffed at it.

Instantly he turned human, exhausted he fell to the floor, his blood instantly seeping deep into the ground. Reaching out a hand he grasped Lea’s pendant, its cold metal searing into his skin. An image of her flittered across his mind and against all logic, he hoped to dream of her before he fell into unconsciousness.