Dark Light (The Dark Light Series) (34 page)

The definition of Skotos is Darkness.

Terms such as ‘
immoral
,’ ‘
ungodliness
,’ and ‘
evil
’ accompany it. I quickly hit the back button and click on another link, certain that I have stumbled upon a hoax. I open the next webpage and read on about Greek mythology and the origins of Skotos. Still the same theme- sin, shadiness, obscurity, the absence of light. The absence of
Light
. 

Could I be reading this correctly? Am I looking too far into this? Dorian’s name would be translated as Dorian Darkness. Dorian of the Dark. That can’t be true. Dorian is anything but Dark. He’s helped me, soothed me in my times of need. If I’m really being honest with myself, I know he’s something but not Dark. Anything but Dark. If he were, I would be dead by now. He wouldn’t have helped me when I was troubled and weakened. He wouldn’t be so gentle and caring. Yes, there may be a dark element to him, especially in the bedroom, but I asked him for that. That was
my
darkness beckoning him. It needed to be fed; I had been stifling that side of me for too long. If anyone is Dark, it’s me. Not Dorian. Not
my
Dorian. If he was Dark, I wouldn’t need him like I do. 

Right?

In an effort to convince myself that this is all bullshit and nothing more than a cheap Merlot-induced mind-fuck, I power down my computer and close it shut. No random webpage is going to sway my opinion of Dorian. He is good and kind and thoughtful, the opposite of everything the Dark stand for. There are other supernatural forces out there. He must be something else. But definitely not Dark. 

I lie back on my bed and try to wrap my head around everything that’s happened in the past few weeks. They have been more eventful than the past 20 years of my existence. I’ve found out that I am the product of a Light-Dark love affair that killed my parents and made me the target of a sadistic killer. Jared confessed his love for me after knowing how I’ve felt all these years. I met Dorian, the man who has opened my heart to more emotions than I’ve ever felt and given me more pleasure than I ever imagined. I have to ignore the warning bells sounding wildly in my head and lead with my heart. Dorian is not Dark. He would never hurt me. He cares for me, just like I care for him. I have to believe that. I have to hold onto it. Because whatever he may be, whatever paranormal blood runs through his veins, I love him.

There are things that you will experience over the months preluding your ascension. You will begin to feel things, see things. You are becoming who you were meant to be. There are no spells to learn, though Donna may ask that you study certain herbal combinations to help keep you safe until you receive your power. The power is in you. YOU, my child, are the magic. 

Because your Light is so bright, you will notice the people around you may begin to change. They will become drawn to you, almost pulled to you in a way that you haven’t experienced before. It’s as if you are a warm fire in frigid cold weather. They need you to be comforted. Your proximity is mollifying for both humans and magical forces. However, be careful of those who seek your presence at all times. Your power is euphoric to them; it intoxicates them and makes them stronger and more powerful. It will become a source of sustenance for them, and they will stop at nothing to feed their need. If they pull too much from you, it can kill you. Until you ascend and can defend yourself, stay away from all sources of magic- Light, Dark or other. They can, and will, take your life. And if you lose your power, you will die.

I wish there was someone there for you to help you through your transition, but other than Chris and Donna, I trust no one. Neither should you. While I would prefer you pledge your allegiance to the Light, be careful of them. There may be radical followers that feel you are a threat to them and their way of life. They may wish to do you harm. Keep your eyes and ears open for any sign of danger. You will know when it is near; the Dark Hunter in you will sense it. Though powers of the Light and Dark will not be able to sense your power, there is a way that your secret will become unveiled. If they touch you, they will know what you are. They will feel your power. They may not know exactly what you are, but they will know you are something special. My sweet child, take heed of this warning. Do not let any strange persons make physical contact with you. Once they touch your skin, you will be exposed and your life will be in jeopardy.

My dear Gabriella, I must go now. My heart aches with great regret, though I do not regret creating you. You will be my greatest victory, and my love and devotion will live on in you. You will achieve so many wonderful things. You will bring peace and prosperity to our people. You will help spread the Light. 

Your father and I are so proud of you and the person you will become. He loves you so much already. He would even sing to my belly every night. He said music was the language of the soul, and any message could be conveyed through song. His wish for you was that you would grow to be immensely happy, and find love even in adversity, like we had. You are so special to us. We will love you forever, in this world and the next. 

Natalia

----------

I close the book, and will myself to hold in the tears that are beginning to pool in my tired eyes. I told myself I could do this; I could finally end my mother’s journal and move forward. I had been holding onto the last pages for so long, fearing that her memory would die once I was finished reading. She has given me so much to think about, so much to ponder and yet, all I feel is longing for her warmth and embrace. I wish I could’ve known my parents. I wish I could have felt their love, could have seen their undying devotion for each other. I can only imagine how gloriously beautiful they were. Even their beauty shines through on the pages of the aged journal. 

My father loved music, just like I do. He sang to me when I was still in my mother’s womb. I wish I could have heard his voice, wish I could have curled up in his lap and let him sing me a lullaby as a little girl. Wish he could have been there to hold me when I experienced my first heartbreak or take me to my first Father-Daughter dance. I’ll never have that. I’ll never know him. Never have I felt so alone, so incredibly abandoned. For the first time ever, I truly feel like an orphan.

I blink away the tears and then look over at the clock, realizing the late hour. Since it is Spring Break, I’ve taken on some extra hours at the mall to distract my mind and heart from missing Dorian so much. Plus I’ve wanted to stay away from my parents, our argument still fresh in my head. I love them; they have been so good to me. But every bit of knowledge I gain about who and what I am pushes me farther away from them. There’s no way they could possibly understand the confusion I am dealing with, and while it isn’t their fault in any way, I can’t help but feel like an outsider. Or better yet, an inherited obligation.

**********

“So what’s been up, Gabs?” Jared says settling into our booth at our favorite restaurant. He mindlessly flips through the menu though we always order the same thing: Italian Nachos and deep-dish meat lover’s pizza.

I’ve invited him here to find out first-hand what’s really been going on between him and Aurora. It’s been damn near a week since we’ve seen each other which is rare for us. I know I have contributed to the distance but I can’t help but feel slighted at Jared’s nonchalance. It’s like he doesn’t even notice the awkwardness between us.  

“I don’t know, you tell me. Busy Spring Break thus far?” I ask quizzically. Translation: Has
Aurora
been keeping you busy?

“Not busy, but eventful,” he replies casually. He takes a sip of his soda.

“Is that right? What’d you do?” I can’t believe Jared is playing coy with me. Why doesn’t he just come out and say it?

“Well Friday, hung out over at UCCS, picked up a game or two. Then there was a dorm party. Saturday I worked most of the day. And Sunday, just hung out, helped Mom around the house, did some yard work. Monday I worked most of the day and today pretty much the same.”

“And that’s all you did?” I ask with an edge of skepticism.

Jared shrugs nonchalantly. “Pretty much.”

Argh!
He can be so frustrating! “Jared,” I say flatly. “
Really?
Are you really playing like I don’t know? Is this some ploy to get back at me?” 

Jared has the nerve to shrug again. “I don’t know. Didn’t realize we were back to sharing.”

“Jared, I can’t believe you can say that! Yes, I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. But our friendship hasn’t changed. At least for me, it hasn’t.”

Jared sets his menu down and folds his hands in front of him, resting his chin on them. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he finally says. “So what do you want to know?”

“Well, for starters, do you actually like Aurora?”

Jared ponders my question for a beat, moving his head from side to side as if trying to sift out the right answer. “You know, at first, I really didn’t. I thought she was a lot older and one of those hoity-toity types. I just figured we’d have nothing in common and she’d be too prissy to even be into the same stuff as me. But she was totally different from what I expected. Super cool, down to earth. And
hot!
Holy shit!
I never thought girls that pretty even existed outside of magazines and TV!”

I can’t help but feel jealous and hurt over Jared’s depiction of Aurora. Can’t believe she exists? But my mediocre, ordinary existence is totally believable, of course. Jared doesn’t know what he’s up against. There’s something very strange about Aurora and I have a feeling that she’s dangerous. I don’t want Jared caught in her web.

“Jared, you can’t really expect to like her after just one date, can you? You hardly know her.” I try to take the snarky undertone out of my voice but it’s hard to hide.

“I know that, Gabriella,” Jared replies stiffly. “That’s why I’ve seen her just about every night since our first date. And we’ve been texting and talking every day. She’s a great girl, Gabs. Funny, easy to talk to, really smart and cultured. And gorgeous, of course. Unlike anyone I’ve ever met.”
Ouch.

“Of course, she seems like that now. But something about her just doesn’t sit well with me.”

“And you know this because…? What, you’ve seen her like two times?” Jared says cynically. “What’s the problem, Gabs? I thought you’d be happy for me. Like I said I was for you. Finally a totally amazing girl is into me and she’s got to have something wrong with her? She can’t just genuinely like me too?”

My shoulders slump with resignation, and I shake my head. The last thing I need is for Jared to be at odds with me again. “No, no. Nothing like that. She’s lucky to have you and I’m sure she is great for you. I wish you two the best. Of course I want nothing but good to come of this,” I say with an apologetic grin. Until I find confirmation of who and what Aurora is, I have to play nice.

“Thank you, Gabs. I really think this could go somewhere with Aurora. I even invited her on our trip this weekend. So I’d really like it if you could make her feel welcomed.”

Oh hell no!
I agreed to feign friendliness whenever our paths may cross, but I wasn’t planning on vacationing with her. Well, this is as good a time as any to inform Jared of Dorian’s presence in Breckenridge. 

“And I hope you’ll do the same when Dorian arrives. I asked him to come too. You don’t mind, do you?” 

Jared’s expression becomes rigid. “No. I don’t. But I’m sure you’re aware of Aurora and Dorian’s past, right? That won’t be awkward for you, will it?”

Past?
Other than them knowing each other since childhood and their families doing business together, what kind of past could they have? 

“I don’t know what past Aurora told you about but there’s nothing to feel awkward about. Unless she tries to make a move on him again,” I say tersely. 

“Um, Gabs, Dorian didn’t tell you? About them?” Jared almost seems amused as if he knows something that I don’t.

“Tell me what?” I ask annoyed.

“When they were younger, before Dorian got himself into trouble, I guess, they used to be together. Like
really
together. They were each other’s first love. She thought she could help him get on his feet after he came back. She admitted that she was a little hurt that he had just pretty much forgotten about what they had when he was gone, but people change I guess. He obviously has some commitment issues.”

The fuck? 

Rage heats my face instantly, and I fight the urge to scream and accuse Jared of lying just to hurt me. But I know he would never do that. He is just reciting what Aurora told him. Could she be lying? Of course she could. But why? Why risk telling lies and looking like a fool to both Jared and Dorian? She surely wouldn’t go that far just to get under my skin. I can’t be that important to her. But Dorian said he would always tell me the truth. I asked him what was going on between he and Aurora and he told me nothing. 

Of course
. Nothing is going on right now so he didn’t lie. He did tell me that they have known each other a long time and that Aurora wanted more. He didn’t want the same. So he wasn’t completely dishonest, just not 100% forthcoming. Now I really want to see Dorian, and not to sate my sexual appetite. 

“Look, Jared, not everything is always what it seems,” I try to say with a level voice, masking my seething anger. “Just be careful, ok.”

“You too, Gabs,” he replies, nodding. “You too.”

**********

The following days drag on, and I struggle to digest the news of Jared and Aurora’s newfound romance. His cheerfulness is sickening because I know that Aurora and her lies have created that illusion for him. He even started dressing differently, exchanging his t-shirts and athletic shoes for button-ups and oxfords. She’s trying to change him, and it’s only making me despise her even more. It’s like she wants to sink her teeth into him and make her place in his life as quickly as possible. Probably so I’ll eventually become obsolete.

“Don’t let it bother you, Gabs,” Morgan says as we’re shopping during my break at the mall. She insists we need new outfits for our trip. We leave tomorrow, and I can hardly wait, though I’m not thrilled about having to spend three days with Aurora.