He was sure that, even in the dark, she could see the grimness on his face. “Some people believe that Halchon Gisseltess is gathering the marlords in a bid to take the throne. And that his sister—your Lestra—is in league with him. So far they haven’t made any overt moves, but the king is watching them. And everyone is afraid of what might happen next.”
She was still staring at him. “And you? What will you do, if there is a war? You’re a fighter. You must be planning to fight for somebody.”
He tried to pull her back against his chest, but she resisted, flattening her fingers against his vest and keeping her arm rigid. “I will fight with those who side with the king,” he said. “Which means I will be at war with Halchon Gisseltess and his sister. I hope that does not mean I will be at war with you.”
Now her face looked as troubled as it had earlier, when he told her about the hunting and murdering of mystics. “I do not want to go to war with anybody,” she said.
“You may be forced to choose,” he said gently. “If you cannot countenance what the Lestra does, what she says, you may have to leave the convent. In fact, I think you should. You are—”
“I can’t leave,” she said quickly. “Not now. Not with Rosurie still there and my family convinced that I am safely within the walls of Lumanen. If I could talk to my father or my brother—I have to think about this. I can’t just leave.”
“If you’re afraid of the Lestra, I could help you,” he said, pressing her a little. “I could hide you in Neft and help you get clear of the city.”
“And take me all the way back to my family?” she asked skeptically.
“Yes. I would do that.”
“No, you wouldn’t, because if Torrin saw you riding up with me by your side—oh, you don’t know what kind of trouble that would cause! Justin, I have to think about this. I am appalled by everything you’ve said but I—I have to understand it before I decide what to do next. I have to think about everything.”
“Think about it,” he said. “And come see me tomorrow.”
To his great disappointment, she drew herself clear of his arms and came to her feet. He stood beside her, thinking, as always, how small she was next to him. “I’m not sure I can,” she said. “Come to you tomorrow, I mean. There are five of us, and we’ll be together the entire time. I don’t see that I’ll be able to get free.”
“Tomorrow night then? Here?”
She gazed at him, her expression uncertain. “I probably shouldn’t.”
“Why? Why not?”
She hesitated and then gave a candid answer. “I think maybe you’ve upset me too much. I think maybe I’m too confused to see you again so soon.”
He felt a sudden gust of something that felt like panic, though it seemed a strange time to experience a battlefield emotion. “But I have so little time to see you,” he said. “Only the minutes you can steal during the few days you’re in Neft. I hate to lose any chances to talk to you. I’m sorry I said the things I did—even though they’re true and I think you should know them. Don’t stay away from me.”
She stood undecided in the dark. “We’ll see,” she said at last, and put a hand on the gate.
He grabbed one of the wrought-iron rods to keep the gate from opening. “I’ll come by,” he said. “Tomorrow night. I’ll be here. If you want to talk.”
“Maybe,” she said. She pushed on the gate again and he reluctantly released his hold, allowing it to swing open. Ellynor made as though to step through, paused, and turned back to him. Reaching up with one hand, she drew his head down, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “It was good to see you, Justin.”
And then, before he could move or speak or respond in any way, she gathered her skirts and flew back to the house. Almost immediately, she disappeared from view. He watched the windows for ten minutes, for thirty, but she did not appear at any of them to wave goodnight. With a heavy heart—that bounded with unexpected lightness every time he remembered that kiss—he headed home.
THE workday was long and full of minor frustrations. Delz was in a foul mood and shoveled manure as venomously as if it had offered him a personal affront. An irate traveler claimed that he had already paid for his horse’s accommodations upon arrival and refused to pay again as he left. A mare in the back stall had nicked herself badly with her own clumsy hoof, so Justin prepared a poultice and kept her leg wrapped most of the day. They were busy enough that he missed lunch and devoured his dinner.
He was tired enough that he climbed to his third-floor bedroom and fell instantly asleep.
Near midnight, he came awake suddenly and completely. From Tayse he had learned the ability to wake when he wanted, prepared to take the night watch. He dressed in the dark, crept downstairs and outside, and moved silently through the streets to the Gisseltess house.
Where he waited for two hours alone.
Ellynor did not come down to join him. She did not appear at any of the windows and wave. If she watched him from the shadows of the house, she stood back far enough that he could see no flicker of movement, no flash of white. If she was awake and thinking of him, she gave no sign.
After the second hour passed, Justin pushed himself to his feet and made his way slowly back to the boardinghouse. His thoughts were chaotic, but the line of his mouth was hard. He had never been the sort of man who gave up easily. Now would not be the time he began.
CHAPTER 15
IN the morning, Justin was at the stables ahead of Delz, forking down the hay, watering the horses, and cleaning out the stalls. “Got somewhere to be for a little bit this afternoon,” he told the stablemaster when Delz commented on his industriousness. “I’m going to be gone a couple hours. Thought I’d get a little ahead on the work.”
“Fine,” Delz said with a shrug. “But you’ll be back for the evening shift?”
“I will.”
After eating a quick lunch, Justin washed his hands again, changed into a fresh shirt, and set out looking for evangelists in the streets of Neft.
It took him nearly thirty minutes to track down the Daughters. He’d thought they’d be near the crossroads where most of the shops were congregated and where the majority of traffic passed through, both on foot and by horse. But that part of town, though clogged with carts and pedestrians, held no cluster of smiling young women clad in white robes and sparkling moonstones. No, and no escort of silent men, wearing black-and-silver livery and watching every stranger who passed by, trying to guess his secrets.
He found them, eventually, at the west edge of town, not far from a small shrine set up to honor the Pale Mother. They had positioned themselves on the edge of the main road that led into Neft from the southwestern parts; anyone bent on traveling into the city from Rappengrass or Fortunalt was bound to pass this way. Justin loitered behind one of the scattered buildings found this far from the city center, trying to get a sense of how successful their day had been so far. While he watched, most of the open carts and gigs that came through pulled to a halt. The drivers, with every appearance of satisfaction, accepted the novices’ prayers and blessings. Two closed carriages bowled on past without stopping; one of them was allowed to go unmolested, but the other one was immediately followed by two of the Lestra’s guards. Justin watched them go, wondering what would happen next. A confrontation here in the middle of Neft? Surely not. More likely the guards would ride behind the carriage till it cleared the city, and possibly make some kind of move once they were past the crowded streets. Or they might mark where the carriage came to a halt inside the city limits, and note which house entertained guests who were not eager to take the blessing of the Daughters.
Even once those soldiers had vanished in pursuit, there were still seven convent guards stationed on both sides of the road near the novices.
Justin slipped from his hiding place, headed back toward the middle of the city, then left Neft by a northern route. After making a wide loop, he came out on the main road and began a steady walk eastward toward town. A couple of carts passed him, and he waved when the drivers seemed friendly. A group of horsemen clattered by, clearly in a hurry. Two riders came the other way, leaving the city. He was close enough now to notice that they paused, bent their heads, and held out their hands to receive the benediction of the goddess.
In a few minutes, he was strolling straight toward the sacred roadblock, five girls strung across the road with their hands lifted and their faces serene. A cart rolled up behind him just as he arrived, so there was a little flurry of motion, horses whickering, voices calling, the sound of wheels grinding to a halt. White robes fluttered as the girls circled and murmured among themselves. Who would approach the cart, who would see to the man on foot?
Justin put his hands in his back pockets and a bumpkin’s grin on his face, and beamed at the assembled company. His eyes were making quick appraisals. There was Ellynor, staring at him in something like fear; there were four other girls of various ages and sizes. One of them looked enough like her to be her cousin Rosurie. Just beyond them was the ring of convent guards, watchful, ready, unsmiling.
A tall girl about Ellynor’s age was giving directions. “Rosurie, there’s another cart coming! You and Lia talk to them. Semmie, help me with this one. Ellynor, can you talk to that man who just walked up?”
“I’d sure like the blessing of the goddess today,” Justin said in a hearty voice.
Ellynor made no move in his direction, so the other woman gave her a slight nudge. “Hurry! I see another carriage down the road. I never thought we’d be this busy.” And she and a very young girl approached the open gig, their hands upraised, moonstones dangling from their wrists. “The blessing of the Pale Mother upon you this afternoon!”
Still looking a little unwilling, but conscious of many pairs of eyes on her, Ellynor stepped up to Justin. She put her hands up and Justin immediately moved forward to press his own palms against hers. “The blessing of the Mother upon you,” she said in a low voice.
She would have dropped her hands right away, but Justin curled his fingers over hers to keep her in place. It was clear she did not want to make a scene, not with so many people watching, so she did not try to jerk free. “Thank you for your kindness,” he said. “Could you do a favor for a penitent?”
She had avoided his eyes at first, but that made her look at him and frown. “What favor?”
“I have no moonstone, nothing by which to call the goddess. I understand that convent novices sometimes hand them out. I would be grateful if that were so—if I could take one from your hand.”
Wordlessly, Ellynor nodded and pulled out of his light hold. She reached into a pocket of her robe and produced a moonstone, small and milky and attached to a silver chain. When she laid it in his outstretched palm, he quickly lifted his other hand to imprison hers between both of his. He thought she flinched, almost as if the moonstone between their hands burned into her flesh. Certainly the gem seemed hot to the touch, scalding his own skin.
He barely noticed. “Thanks be to the Great Mother,” he said piously. “I will treasure this always.”
She nodded and tried to free her hand. When he did not release her, she gave him an indignant look. “May she watch over you all your days,” she said, but her tone was cold.
“Come to me tonight?” he breathed, still giving her the idiot’s smile he expected any man who loved the goddess to wear.
“You have to let go of me,” she replied, her voice almost inaudible.
“Tonight?” he repeated.
“Yes,” she said, and tried again to break his hold.