Dark Seraphine (The Seraphine Trilogy) (39 page)

“She killed many of Bernael’s men before all was done. She fought for that honor which your father died without regaining,” he says.

“Why didn’t you stop them? It was your place to fight, not hers,” I say, even though I know I’m hurting him. 

Grandfather was left crippled after he fought in the celestial wars twenty years ago. His shattered kneecaps make walking difficult. For this reason, the fallen spared his life after killing his daughter in front of him. He lives with ghosts and demons the same way that I do now.

“Only when that alchemist lifted the barrier did your mama lose her focus. They didn’t stand a chance after that. I watched everything. Those animals butchered them,” he says, the things I needed to hear. Everything els
e he said before those words are just
whisper
s
blowing away in the wind.

Heat rushes through my body. I rock back and forth on the couch. Knocks sound at the door. Grandfather’s frightened eyes move toward it.

It’s the live-in caretaker I hired. “Everything's all right, grandfather. I’ve found someone to
look after
you the way you’ve taken care of me an
d Tobie all these years,” I say, even though
I was the one who took care of them both.

Grandfather reaches down, opens a compartment hidden under his chair’s seat, and removes a wooden box. My eyes widen. I’ve never seen it before. He slides the lid off. Two Celtic daggers lay side by side. A dried rose bud lies between them. He sets the box down on his lap and places the daggers in my ha
nds. “They’re all I have left—m
emories of my daughter, my rose. They're yours now,” he says, and then turns back toward the picture my mother painted, returning to the world inside his mind. 

I move to my room as if I’m a ghost walking inside a host’s body, pack my things, brief the caretaker, stare at my mother’s daggers and the dried rose. And then I walk out the door and into the frigid night.

* * *

Sitting inside the dressing room of the ceremonial hall,
I prepare for the sacred dance
. The silver dress I
flaunt
highlights my curves, but covers the Caducean tattoo, the star that means the perfect ma
le. My hair that I normally wear
held b
ack in a tight, st
ubby ponytail falls around my face, framing it with soft curls.
My mind races with everything I’ve
learned from Grandfather. And after what he told me, I know I can do this thing now.

Keta walks in and eases the door closed. “Finally. I didn’t think you were coming. How nice. You actually look and smell like a girl again.” She moves over to where I sit, picks up a brush, and fluffs my bangs hanging over my dotted eyebrows, the lead sacred dancer's identifying mark. Filling in the missing hairs with eye liner has been
tiresome
. I slipped up one time in front of Carl. I'd been so psyched about winning the relay races that I forgot to do it. If Carl noticed my screw up, he never once mentioned it. But Keta notices everything about me.

The silence between us deafens me
, even though
we don’t say a word.

“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss this night for all the silver coins in the world,” I say. Keta pauses, the brush poised in mid-air.

“Do I even wanna know what that means?” she says.
I stay silent. Keta scoffs.
“What has he talked you into doing this time? Because whatever it is, I’m not supporting it.” I lower my eyes, the windows to my soul.

Keta’s family and Mabry are close. What happens tonight will change our friendship forever. The idea of betraying my best friend a
lmost dims the fire inside me; b
ut even her love fails to soften my heart, tainted by the memories. So I inhale, hold my breath,
and
curse the sting in my nose. I’ll take Seth’s secret to the grave, along with the souls of those who killed my mother.

Keta sighs and slams the brush down on the table beside me. And then she swings my chair around. Her chest heaves
,
and I wonder if she intends to hit me. She might be tiny, but her anger makes her strong.

“Don’t do this, whatever it is he’s talked you into this time. Don’t you even care about us?” Her brown eyes plead. It takes everything in me to control the tears ripping at my throat.

“How could you ask that question? I care too much,” I say.

“I know you, Desi. We’ve been together forever. Something is eating away at you. Please tell me.
Please
.” Her voice cracks. My beautiful friend knows. She has always been able to feel my pain, to see my darkest thoughts. I hide nothing from her
,
even though she’s not a royal. When we were little girls
,
we always joked about how perfect a couple we’d make if one of us were a boy.

I lift my eyes
,
and lock gazes with her. “The alchemists had my parents killed.”

Several expressions cross her face before she says anything. “No. You can’t go around saying things like that. Mabry would never—”

“He created the order, Keta. He set my father up so the Caduceans could flush out Bernael’s army.” Heat rises in my body, and I want Keta to feel some of the pain the way I do. “Your precious Mabry murdered my parents.”

Keta shakes her head, brown curls flowing across her shoulders. “Can’t you see what he’s doing? He’s lying to you. Seth is the one who isn’t right. He’s turned you into a totally different person.”

“Grandfather confirmed everything,” I say, my voice rising. A faraway look crosses Keta’s face. She still doesn’t want to believe her godfather is the one responsible for my pain over the last three years.

“I’m leaving before I say something I’ll regret.” I snatch up my veil and shove it on my head. Gauzy white material clouds my view so no one can see my face.

Keta grabs my arm. “What are you going to do? Because if you’re thinking of something insanely dumb, like getting back at the head alchemist, then forget it.”

I stop and stare at the floor,
feeling grateful for
the veil
that hides
my eyes.
Gasping
,
she
covers her mouth. The tension between us is thick like fog. But I guess it’s better for the clouds to arrive now so I can get used to not being able to see her anymore.

Her next words shake me to the core. “I won’t let him turn you into a murderer. I’ll kill him myself if I have to.” My heart thuds so loudly, I’m sure the girls in the rooms beside ours can hear it.

I believe her, but she can’t stop me. My mind is wicked
,
and my heart is dry.  These are tough things for even Keta to beat. Numb determination gives me strength to walk out the door, leaving my best friend sobbing in the room behind me.

* * *

I dance the sacred dance as I’ve never done it before. As if this is my last dance and the head alchemist’s final ritual. All eyes in the room are on me, the butterfly dancing her life away. The toad waiting for the guy she loves to join her, turning her back into a princess with his kiss.

Mabry, Levy, Carl, and Keta stand along the sides. Each one of them sways to the tribal song. The thud in each beat vibrates in my chest, reminding me that the s
ong is almost over. It’s
time to put our plan into action. 

And then he eases up behind me as if the Caduceans trained him in the stealth arts too. I can sense his presence before I even turn to see him. Whirling around, I find Seth Alton turned warrior. Dressed in a black silk shirt and pants, silver earrings, and winged rings on his middle fingers, he manages to pull off the Caducean
thing
with breathtaking ease. As we circle one another, I take in the way he looks. To everyone around us, he appears to be a visiting warrior from another tribe.

Now, all eyes are on both of us. We move closer. He laces his fingers in mine, pulls me against his chest, and swings me along with the beat. The room disappears. I find it hard to keep my mind focused on what we’re about to do. My silly-girl heart beats too fast. The way Seth’s body heats next to mine excites me. Keta’s words echo in the back of my mind, but I shake them off. Focus. Seth isn’t the one who killed my parents. That honor belongs to Mabry.

The drums fade, replaced by a string quartet and a singer whose voice rivals a songbird.

It’s the head alchemist's turn to dance with the lead sacred. Me. My trembling hands anger me. The time for nerves and hesitation has passed. Too much rides on me being able to do my part. Silently, I curse my body into obedience.

Mabry approaches me with all the grace and manners of the TriGate alchemists.  The music changes to a slower beat, a waltz, something that Seth couldn’t have planned better. Getting my hands inside his jacket will be easy, now.

“May I have this dance, my girl?” Mabry holds out a hand to me and lowers his head. I wish he wouldn’t be so nice to me. This kindness makes my dry heart beat faster. And for the first time in three years, I question the hate it holds so near.

I clear my mind, adjust the veil so my face stays hidden. Head alchemists can get inside your mind faster than royal bloods. Mabry and I are the only couple on the dance floor. We will dance until the silver moon rises to its highest point in the sky. Five minutes giv
es me all the time I need. F
irst
,
I want to end my confusion. I need to have a clear picture of why I hate Mabry so much.

“My mother was a dancer. She taught me these moves,” I say.

“I remember. Her technique was exquisite like a swan, and she was as beautiful as the lavender roses she adored,” he says. I
inhale sharply
and hold it. This news takes me by surprise.

“You wer
e close to her like that?” I ask
, fighting the doubt demon telling me how wrong I am about Mabry. How selfish I am to be considering something that will destroy my best friend. But then I glance over at Seth, my teacher, lover, and friend and everything wrenches back into place.

Mabry hesitates as though considering the best answer. He has a noble face and honest dark eyes—things that seem out of place on a murderer. “I was close to your mother. We were best friends. I taught her how to be an assassin.”

My mouth drops open
,
and my feet move off beat. Suddenly
,
the music dims and my chest tightens so I can’t breathe. I stop and lean over. The crowd stirs a tad but Mabry silences them and steadies my body. Did he expect me to react this way?

“Easy, girl. We can sit this one out.” He bends over, grasps my waist, and I see the key Seth described shining inside the inner pocket of Mabry's vest. It gleams the brightest gold I’ve ever seen. I remind myself why I hate Mabry, replay Grandfather’s words in my head, and ease my hand into the fabric. The key slips into my palm, and I can’t help feeling this all happened too easily.

“I’m better now,” I say, allowing him to pull me close so I can look him in the eyes. I adjust my veil and drop the key down into my bra. “You taught my mother an illegal art?” He nods and studies me with sad eyes as we continue the sacred dance.

You hate him, Desi. You hate him, Desi. Don't let his sad eyes fool you.

“Well
,
it didn’t help her. Bernael’s army still overpowered both my parents,” I say. “People say a Caducean lifted the invisibility spell on our house. That’s how the fallen got to them.” I wait for him to digest this news and watch for the tell-tale signs in his face. Against my will, my body stiffens. I am failing at remaining calm the way Seth told me to do.

“Please understand I did my very best to help your mother prepare,” he says.

“Prepare for what? Her death?” I hiss, jerking my hands away.

“For many things. Women should be as prepared to fight as their male comrades. I taught your mother the Caducean arts
,
so she could protect herself. Your father made bad choices. Decisions that can start another war
none of us
are ready to see. The humans that
live on the other side of the doorway must be protected. Even if that means a few Bardonians must die for the cause.”

His words make me dizzy
,
and I’m almost certain he knows something about me that he’s not saying. Why bring the Caducean creed up at this point? Why say the very things to weaken my resolve when I’m already confused?

“I don’t want to dance anymore.” I turn, walk over to Seth, and bury my head in his chest.

The lights dim. Above the building, silver moonlight beams down through the glass ceiling and covers the room. Chants sound around Se
th and me as the
dedication ritual starts.

Part of me wants to find Keta and abandon this plan. The other half, my stronger half belongs to Seth. Standing in the dark beside him, I breathe in his earthy scent, and feel his lips at my ear. Stomach flopping, I listen closely for his words when I place the key in his hand.
We move back and stare at each other.
The brightness in his eyes, the odd way the silver light reflects in them, erases all thoughts of grandfather sitting alone with a stranger back home.