Dark Summer Dawn (7 page)

Lisa shrugged. She felt as if she was waking slowly from a nightmare. 'In a way,' she said evasively.

'I know he can be a swine,' Julie admitted. 'He's made me feel like an—an insect regularly. But perhaps he's mellowed just lately, or I'm getting older. I'm not nearly as frightened of him as I used to be. Do you remember?'

'Only too well,' Lisa said drily, and Julie laughed.

'You always stuck up for me, didn't you, darling? You were never afraid of Dane. Whatever did he say to make you leave like that? What did you quarrel about?'

Lisa chose her words carefully. 'Well, I suppose you could say we quarrelled about you.'

'About me?' Julie sounded aghast. 'But that's terrible! I hadn't the slightest idea. Oh, Lisa!'

Lisa gave her a slight hug. 'It doesn't matter, love. As your father said, it's all over now.' Or I hope it is, she thought, a sick feeling of panic gripping her. Oh, why did Chas have to say anything?

'But it does matter,' Julie persisted, throwing open the door of the room next to hers, the room Lisa had occupied ever since they had outgrown the shared room. 'You must tell me, Lisa. I have a right to know.'

Lisa hesitated, walking over to the bed and opening her dressing case. She began to remove her cosmetics and set them out on the dressing table.

She said slowly, 'It was about the parties you used to go to—that awful crowd you used to go round with. Dane seemed to—blame me.'

'That's idiotic!' Julie said indignantly, then she paused as a thought struck her and she gave Lisa a horrified look. 'You mean Dane knew about them—knew about the parties? Oh, God! But he never said anything. He never even
hinted
that he knew, not even when the police raided the Hammonds' and caught them smoking grass.' She shuddered. 'I wasn't there that night, thank the lord.'

Lisa gave her a steady look. 'But you'd been there on other nights? In spite of everything you said?'

Julie shrugged, looking uncomfortable. 'Well—yes, but there's nothing in it, Lisa. I mean, everyone smokes at some time.'

'Do they now?' Lisa's head was beginning to ache, so she took the pins out of her hair and let it fall loose on to her shoulders. 'I never have. And I don't suppose Tony has either,' she added.

'Tony?' Julie laughed. 'Good God, he's far too much of a stick-in-the-mud! He got a parking ticket once and acted as if it was the end of the world.'

Lisa looked at her with slight unease. There had been a note of scorn in Julie's voice then which had not been lost on her.

She said gently, 'It's not a bad thing to be law-abiding, you know, love. Not enough people are these days.'

'Yes, I know,' Julie said rather petulantly. 'But to get back to this business with you and Dane—are you telling me that Dane said my party-going was your fault?'

'Something of the sort,' Lisa hedged.

'And you had a row?'

'You could say so,' Lisa said wearily. 'Look, Julie, I'd really prefer to do as Chas suggested and—forget all about it.'

'Then I shall ask Dane.' Julie's lovely face wore its mulish expression and Lisa gazed at her in horror.

'No!' she exclaimed passionately. 'No, Julie, you mustn't. If you say one word about it to Dane—or anyone else for that matter—then I'll never forgive you. And I'll leave here and never come back as long as I live.'

Her words died breathlessly away into a long silence. Then Julie's lips pursed into a silent whistle of astonishment.

'You really mean that, don't you?' she said slowly. 'I'm sorry, darling. I won't say anything, if that's what you want. I'll never even mention it again. But don't go, Lisa. Please don't go. I need you—I really do. I couldn't bear it if you went away again now.' She turned away abruptly. 'I'll see you downstairs in a little while.' She went through into her own bedroom, closing the communicating door between them.

Lisa had been brushing her hair, but now she let the brush fall from her fingers to the carpet and just stood there, trying to regain her self-command.

Chas's little reconciliation scene downstairs had almost unnerved her, and she lifted a hand almost wonderingly to the cheek which Dane had kissed as if surprised to find it unmarked. She gave a little shudder. She was remembering only too vividly the last time his mouth had touched her skin, brutal, ravaging, conquering.

All the defences she had so carefully constructed against the past, against the Violence, the agony and misery of that night were beginning to tumble about her. The shutter she had learned to close down in her mind wouldn't work any more.

She shook her head, rejecting the images which were beginning to crowd in on her. If she let them have their way, then she would have to leave here. But Julie needed her. Julie had said she couldn't bear it if she went away again.

She whispered, her voice shivering, 'But can I bear to stay?'

CHAPTER FOUR

Dane did not appear during tea, much to Lisa's relief. Even so she was too tense to do anything like justice to Mrs Arkwright's feather-light scones and lemon sponge. Chas frowned heavily over her lack of appetite, and she was aware of Julie watching her speculatively on more than one occasion.

She was dismayed to learn that a small celebration dinner in honour of her return to Stoniscliffe had been planned for that evening, but she tried to display moderate enthusiasm at least because it was evident that Julie had planned it with the best of intentions.

'Exactly who will be coming?' she asked.

'Well, Tony, of course,' Julie began, and Chas snorted derisively.

'Tony, of course,' he echoed. 'The amount of meals that young man eats here makes me wonder if he has a home of his own to go to!'

He gave Julie an affectionately teasing look as he spoke, but her answering smile was a little forced, as if this was a joke which was often made and which had begun to pall on her. She turned back to Lisa.

'And apart from Tony, I've only invited the Daltons. You remember them, don't you?'

'The Daltons?' Lisa frowned a little. 'You mean James and Celia? Good heavens, I thought they were in Africa, helping to put some emergent nation on to its feet.'

Chas gave a bark of laughter. 'So they were—until the nation began to emerge in a way that didn't appeal to Celia, when home they came.'

Julie added almost casually, 'They've bought the Hammonds' old place. James is working in Leeds for Celia's father.'

'In other words, back to square one,' Lisa commented. She noticed that Julie hadn't betrayed as much as a flicker when she spoke of the Hammonds' old house, almost as though it had no more significance for her than any other neighbour's house. And yet Lisa knew this could not be the case. She remembered that her mother had once said with some regret that Julie had an easy conscience and a convenient memory where her own misdeeds were concerned, and that this was not a healthy combination for any girl.

'Well, that isn't James' fault.' There was a sharp note in Julie's voice. 'When Celia holds the purse strings, she can dictate any terms she likes. You know that.'

Lisa shrugged. 'Exactly—which is why I'm a little surprised to find that you've invited them tonight. Celia was never your favourite person, I seem to remember. And she was certainly never mine.'

Julie gave Chas a limpid look. 'But Daddy likes her. He enjoys flirting with her—don't you, darling?'

Chas smiled placidly. 'Celia Dalton is an attractive woman who understands how such games should be played, but that's as far as I'm prepared to commit myself. As for James, he's not a bad lad and never was, but I'd have more respect for him if he stood up to Celia and her father occasionally.'

Julie laughed. 'You'd better not say so in front of Lisa! She used to have a terrific thing about James—still may have for all I know. We shall have to watch them closely this evening.'

Lisa's mouth curved reminiscently as she thought about James Dalton. He had for a while been her schoolgirl's ideal, with his fair hair and romantically aquiline features.

But his marriage to the arrogant and patronising Celia had soon cured that particular lovesickness, and their subsequent departure abroad had completed the task.

She said lightly, 'Let's say it will be interesting to see him again.'

As she spoke, she glanced up and her gaze slid past Julie to the door where Dane was standing. She had no idea how long he had been there, only that he had undoubtedly heard her last remark and whom it applied to, because his mouth had a contemptuous curl, and she felt the warm blood rush into her face as he looked at her.

Inward rage shook her. How dared he stand there, silently criticising and condemning, as if he honestly thought she might be contemplating a relationship with James, or anyone else for that matter?

She wanted to stand up and tell him so. To scream it at the top of her voice if necessary. To make it clear to him once and for all that any such relationships had invariably been soured and spoiled from the outset because of his brutality.

She could attract men, but that wasn't the problem. All too soon they got fed up with hanging around, being held at arm's length, waiting for a response which didn't exist in her.

And that's your fault, she wanted to cry, her finger pointed in accusation. Everything that was loving and giving in me, you took and stifled. Instead of warmth, you taught me shame. You did it, Dane Riderwood. You, and you alone.

But of course she said nothing. She didn't betray by as much as a flicker that she was even aware of his presence just picked up her cup and asked Julie calmly for more tea.

As she accepted her refilled cup with a word of thanks, another quick glance under her lashes revealed that he had gone again, as silently as he had come.

'Tony's parents would have been here tonight too,' Julie was saying. 'Only they'd already arranged to dine with friends. But I'm sure Mrs Bainbridge will throw one of her famous dinner parties for you while you're here, Lisa.'

'That sounds rather intimidating,' Lisa said, and Julie grimaced.

'It is. I don't really know how I'm going to live up to her. Cordon Bleu cook, president of the Women's Institute, magistrate, winner of cups for flower arranging—the list is endless.' She gave an affected little giggle. 'Tony wants me to call her Mother, but one couldn't possibly. Not Lydia Bainbridge. She's far too formidable. Can you imagine her doing anything as human as giving birth? I expect she ordered Tony and Melanie from a mail order catalogue, as she would her hardy annuals.'

'Formidable, perhaps,' Lisa said slowly, recalling the small upright figure of Julie's future mother-in-law, and the steely elegance which enveloped her. 'But she would have been a far better person to have helped you plan this wedding than me.'

Julie's frown was swift and thunderous. 'No, she wouldn't!' she exclaimed. 'I want someone of my own— someone from my family, not his. Thank heavens Melanie is in America or I'd have to have had her galumphing up the aisle behind me like a carthorse.'

'Julie!' Chas's voice was remonstrative. 'That's most unfair. Melanie's a nice girl, and she's no bigger than either you or Lisa.'

'Size has nothing to do with it,' Julie said rebelliously.