Darque Wants (53 page)

              Katrina hoped that things would improve after a reasonable adjustment period, but as time went on Lillian became more and more rebellious.  When winter came around, Katrina decided to have a discussion with Kirrowind.  When they went to bed one cold winter's night she turned to Kirrowind.

              “I'm worried about Lillian,” Katrina said turning to her side and propping herself up on her elbow.

              “What do you mean?” Kirrowind asked.

              “She doesn't seem to be adjusting like I had hoped.  I'm trying to teach her how to behave properly, but she fights me at every turn.  She's becoming rude and disrespectful.  I can barely even carry on a conversation with her anymore without her fighting with me.  Every day is a screaming match between the two of us,” Katrina said.

              “Katrina, you have to remember that she is becoming a woman.  She is trying to discover who she is in this world and on top of that, we completely changed her life.  She grew up being free like an eagle and now she is trapped in a cage of clothes and shoes and silverware.  I do not blame her for being angry,” Kirrowind explained.

              “Do you feel caged?” Katrina asked suspiciously.

              “Sometimes, yes,” Kirrowind admitted.  “There was a time when I didn't even know that people lived like this.  I grew up in the forests and in the trees.  Now I live in a house of stone and cloth.  I wear more clothes in one day than I have worn in my life.  There are so many rules.  It is frustrating.  I can understand that Lillian is fighting back against her chains.  It is in her nature as a Tribal.”

              “She is Atlantisn as well,” Katrina reminded him.  “It is also in her nature to be a princess in a civilized world.  Do you think we did the right thing by moving here?”

              “Yes I do.  I may never get used to this, but Lillian might.  There is time for her to change and I believe she will.  Be patient.”

              Katrina felt put at ease by Kirrowind's words.  She had grown to love how wise he could be at times.  She gave him a kiss, laid back down and drifted off to sleep.

              As the months turned into years, Katrina was pleased to see that Kirrowind was right.  Lillian did adapt to life in the palace.  However, her life in Oldwoods never truly left her.  Katrina would often find Lillian in the gardens without shoes catching lizards and frogs in the bushes.  There was no doubting that Lillian was Tribal at heart.  On days when Lillian had no classes to attend, Katrina would watch her run off into the forests with her bow and arrows, often with Kirrowind walking right beside her.  It was not uncommon in the summer months for Lillian to spend two or three nights in a row in the forests alone with nothing but her bow and a knife.  Katrina learned to accept these outings of hers in exchange for proper behavior when it was required of her. 

              Before Katrina could blink, Lillian was on the eve of her 20th birthday.  Six years of living in the palace and come and gone.  Even Kirrowind had adapted to life in New Atlantis.  When it was required of them to appear in the Royal Court, they seemed like a real royal family.  It was only during the private times now that Lillian traded her silk dresses for her leather tunic and scampered off into the forest.  Katrina had gotten so used to it that she never worried anymore when Lillian would be gone for days at a time.  She always came home. 

              Lillian had grown to hate birthdays in New Atlantis.  Her birthday in Oldwoods was celebrated by dancing, music, and games in the company of her family.  It was always a small, intimate party, but Lillian always enjoyed it.  She loved the simplicity and the fun of it all.  Now she sat at the head table in the palace's Great Hall surrounded by her parents, grandparents and about a half dozen Lords and Ladies of the Court, only one of which she actually knew.  Lord Erik was a regular visitor since she began living in New Atlantis.  The rest of the Hall was filled with people that Lillian had never seen in her life that were sitting quietly as a band played slow waltz music that nobody cared to dance to.  It was overall a very boring affair.

              “Smile, Lillian.  All these people came to see you,” Katrina said, nudging Lillian in the ribs.

              “They're not here for me.  They're here to be near the King and Queen in hopes of gaining their favor.  I'm just an excuse for these people to advance their own needs,” Lillian said grumpily.  “This is my birthday.  Why can't we celebrate like we did in Oldwoods? That was fun.”

              “That's just not how we do things here.  I know it's not much fun for you, but you will learn to appreciate it when you get older,” Katrina said.

              “I hate wearing all these clothes,” Lillian added.  “I can't breathe in this corset and these shoes are squeezing the life out of my feet.”

              “You look beautiful,” Katrina said.

              “You do look beautiful,” Kirrowind added, “but these clothes are ridiculous. I can't understand why I'm wearing so many different shirts.  Are they extra shirts in case I tear one?” Kirrowind asked jokingly, referring to the several layers of clothing he had to wear to formal events such as this.

              “Could you at least pretend to enjoy tonight?” Katrina asked Lillian.  “A lot of people worked very hard to put this together.”

              “Fine, Mother.  I will smile.  For the workers' sake,” Lillian conceded. 

              The rest of the night, Lillian kept a fake smile glued to her face despite her immense boredom.  Dinner was served and King Pieter gave a speech in his granddaughter's honor.  There was a boring, orchestrated dance for everyone in attendance and several son's of Court members asked to dance with Lillian, but she knew that they were only looking for entrance into the royal family and nothing else so she turned them down, much to her mother's disappointment.

              After the dancing was done, the band left the Great Hall and everyone else followed shortly afterwards.  Lillian rushed back to her room as soon as she was allowed to leave and changed into her leather tunic that she enjoyed wearing so much.  Feeling the need to get out and stretch her legs, she grabbed her bow and quiver of arrows out of her closet and headed for the front door.  She was happy to see that it was a full moon tonight which gave her a good amount of light to hunt with.  Her father naturally had incredible night vision, but she struggled to see quite so well in the dark.

              Lillian slipped quietly out of her room and out of the front door without seeing either of her parents.  She only planned on being gone for an hour or two so she felt no need to inform them that she was leaving the house.  She thought to perhaps head west in hopes that she would find some wild boar sleeping in the forests near the coast.  She walked through the field between her house and the palace and towards the Western Gate.  When she got closer to the palace, however, she could hear two people whispering through an open window.  Out of curiosity, she crept closer, sticking to the shadows to avoid detection.

              “We have to do something,” said the first voice, sounding very familiar.  “She is technically family, but I still can't say she's one of us.”

              Pressed against the wall of the palace, covered in the shadows, Lillian up over the window sill to get a look at who was whispering.  She could see her grandfather, King Pieter, speaking to Lord Erik in the Throne Room.

              “Her poor mother has tried so hard,” King Pieter continued.  “That girl has been given every opportunity to become one of us, but she resists it at every turn.  It must be that savage blood in her that makes her so resistant to decent culture.”

              “She has improved a lot since she first came here,” Lord Erik said. “At least she wears shoes inside the castle most of the time.”

              Lillian realized that they were discussing her.  Initially, she was upset and offended.  She wanted to walk up to them and let them know that she could hear them, but she decided to remain quiet and listen further.

              “By the gods, Erik, that girl is going to be Queen someday.  The proud lineage of Atlantisn Kings dies with me.  When I am gone, it will be that dirty native as King and following him will be that half-blooded grandchild of mine and whatever creature she decides to marry.  If only my daughter had not married that savage before the baby was born, then Lillian would still be a bastard and I wouldn't have to worry about my throne falling away to the natives.”

              “It looks like a bleak future, Your Highness, but your blood runs through Lillian's veins.  You have to love her for that,” Lord Erik said.

              “I love half of her,” King Pieter said bluntly.

              “Perhaps that is all there is to love of her,” Lord Erik agreed.

              Lillian couldn't bear to listen any further.  She had moved past anger into full on heart break.  It was hard enough to learn at 14 that her tribe had disapproved of her, but it was another level of pain to learn that her own grandfather whom had showed such kindness towards her felt such hatred and resentment for her in his heart.

              Holding back her tears as best as she could, she turned around and ran east towards the Eagle River.  She felt as if she could outrun the pain she felt if she just ran fast enough and far enough.  Tears streamed down her face as her legs pushed her forward with all of the power she could muster.  She ran until her lungs strained to inhale and her legs burned like fire, then she ran further.  Eventually, she reached the banks of the Eagle River where her muscles finally gave up and she collapsed. 

              She allowed her body to sink into the mud and the cold water of the river to wash over her as she sobbed.  She felt as if she had nowhere to belong in the world.  Even the people who had claimed to love her considered her impure and second class.  Who else had been lying to her? Did her parents truly love her?  Did anyone really care about her?

              As she wept and pitied herself, she heard the snapping of a branch.  She jumped up and notched an arrow into her bow.  She looked behind her fearing that perhaps a wolf had found her by the river.  Turning her head to scan the land around her, she noticed something across the river.  She spun back around and saw a shadowy figure across the river.  She could see that it was human shaped and had its back turned towards her.

              “Who's there?” she shouted, wondering why there was someone on the other side of the river.  As far as she knew, the Flatlands were off limits. The figure turned around when it heard her voice and looked at her.  Lillian could see that it was definitely human and male, but he looked afraid when he saw her and ran off into the night.

              Lillian was confused and curious.  She wanted to know why someone was in the Flatlands.  She stepped into the river and began to walk across.  About half way through the river, the water became too deep to stand and she had to swim the rest of the way.  Fortunately, the currently moved slowly and she was a strong swimmer.  She got to the opposite side, climbed out of the water and pushed through a thick patch of brush to where she had saw the stranger.  Looking across the Flatlands, she could see the figure running in the distance and began to chase after him.

              Due to her earlier running and the swim across the river, Lillian didn't have the strength to catch him.  After a short sprint, she stopped, notched an arrow into her bow, aimed and shot.  The arrow flew over the stranger's head and landed at his feet directly in front of him causing him to stop in his tracks.

              “Don't take another step,” Lillian shouted notching another arrow into her bow.  “This next one is going for your knee if you keep running.”

              “I haven't done anything wrong,” the stranger shouted back.

              “I don't want to hurt you, I just want to talk to you,” Lillian said keeping her bow aimed at the stranger.

              “Why are you shooting at me?” he asked.

              “I have had a very bad day.  I don't feel like chasing you,” Lillian responded.

              Lowering her bow she slowly walked up to the stranger.  As she got closer, she could begin to see his details better.  She walked up from behind and she saw the long, dark hair of the Tribals, but his clothes appeared to be from New Atlantis despite being torn and ragged.  His skin was also lighter than the Tribals.  It was only slightly darker than Lillian's own skin.  As she got closer, the stranger turned around and Lillian could see that he was most certainly not Tribal.  He did not have the deep blue eyes like Tribals and Lillian had, he had eyes like the people of New Atlantis.  Was it possible that he was also half-blooded?

              “What are you?” Lillian asked him.

              “I'm John,” he replied.  “I'm an Outcast.  Who are you?”