Daughter of the Loom (Bells of Lowell Book #1) (46 page)

“My foolish pride? It’s Lilly who’s filled with pride and won’t admit that she’s in love with me!”

“Well, of course not. She did that once and what did it reap? You went off to school and came back filled with pride and arrogance, telling her that life on a farm was a foolish dream. Then you prance about town with that uppity Boston socialite who’s related to Kirk Boott holding on to your arm. And you expect Lilly to declare her love to you while you sit back and wait? Such foolishness, Matthew!”

Matthew looked toward his father, hoping for some assistance. It was obvious none would be forthcoming. Instead, while propping his chin in one hand, his father grinned and remained silent. Turning toward his mother, Matthew took a sip of coffee. “I wanted to tell Lilly of my feelings last night, but it didn’t seem the appropriate time. After all, Mother, she had just lost her brother.”

Julia stirred a spoonful of sugar into her cup of tea. “You always find one excuse or another to wiggle out of tying the knot,” Julia scolded.

“I don’t think a funeral would make a very romantic setting for a proposal,” Matthew countered. “And what about the proprieties? Why, proper society would surely be of the opinion that Lilly remain out of social settings for at least six months.”

“Oh, bother with proper society,” Julia replied. “Sometimes love must overrule society.”

Julia continued stirring and gave Matthew a stern look. “You know, Matthew, there are some distinct differences between men and women. Obviously, you don’t know how women think and what makes them happy. I, on the other hand, know that a bit of good fortune is exactly what Lilly needs. I’m sure she’s bereft. I can’t think of anything that would cheer her more than . . .” Julia hesitated and met Matthew’s gaze. “Did you say
proposal?
”

Matthew nodded and continued eating his breakfast.

“So you
are
going to ask Lilly to marry you?”

Matthew gave her a winsome smile. “Yes, Mother, if she’ll have me.”

Julia appeared to digest the affirmation before bounding from her chair and embracing Matthew.

Matthew pulled back. “But I intend to give her time to think this through. I don’t want her to marry me simply because she’s feeling her loss over Lewis. I want her to marry me because she loves me.”

“Of course she loves you, darling boy,” Julia said, hugging him close again. “Who wouldn’t love you?”

****

Lilly wandered through the early June blanket of grass that covered the cemetery until she stood before the small granite stones that marked her parents’ graves. Only a few scattered blades of grass could be found on the freshly turned earth that marked Lewis’s final resting-place. Lilly picked up a clump of the dirt and sifted it through her fingers, watching the fine soil drop onto the grave. She would save enough money to purchase a proper marker for Lewis, she decided.

Why had God taken him? she wondered. Hadn’t the death of her parents been enough without the loss of her only other relative? And Nadene’s death only days after Lewis’s death had been equally devastating. Lilly had wept bitter tears when the letter had come from Nadene’s mother. It had simply stated Nadene had succumbed to death, no longer able to fight the debilitating illness that had caused her cough and weakness through her final years.

For a time Lilly had avoided everyone. The pain of her loss threatened to eat her alive, and dealing with her ragged emotions consumed her time. Work had become nothing more than routine, but at least it filled her days. Nothing, however, had filled the lingering void in her heart. She prayed for God to fill the emptiness, and yet she continued to yearn for something more, something that seemed unobtainable: family.

The birds chirping overhead as they built their nests served as another reminder of her isolation. “Why, Lord?” Lilly murmured. “Just when Lewis was beginning to change his ways, when we could have resolved our problems and drawn closer—why did you take him then, Lord? Why did you leave me all alone?”

Gazing heavenward, Lewis’s dying words came to mind. Something about a child, a boy, in the Paddy camp, he had said. “I
do
have family,” she announced to the sky. “I have a nephew—and somehow I will find him!”

****

“I know you think me rude, but you’ll enjoy the day if you only get out and give it a try,” Miss Addie stated as she fairly pushed Lilly ahead of her.

“You sound just like Matthew. This morning after church, he said that I needed to get out and enjoy myself, that I had been mourning far too long.”

Addie nodded in agreement. “That young man has a good head on his shoulders. You listen to him,” Addie clucked. “He’s been more than patient in waiting for you.”

“Lewis has only been dead three months, Miss Addie. I’d hardly say I’ve been in mourning too long,” Lilly contradicted. “Besides, what do you mean Matthew’s been patient in waiting for me?”

Addie began fussing with the bow on Lilly’s dress, pulling it first in one direction and then another. “You’re a young woman, Lilly, and I think mourning three months for a brother who spent his entire life tormenting you is sufficient. I know, I know,” she said, holding up her hand, “you and Lewis had begun to reconcile your differences, and he was changing his ways. I commend him for his repentant behavior, Lilly. The fact remains, however, that moping around here with your chin on your chest every day is not going to bring your brother back, and it certainly doesn’t help you. Now go out and have a little fun,” she said, giving the bow one final twist.

Lilly reached down and embraced Addie in a hug. “Thank you.”

“You are most welcome,” Miss Addie replied, opening the front door. “I believe your young lady is ready,” Addie said to Matthew with a sweeping gesture.

“Matthew!” Lilly gasped.

Matthew held out his arm to Lilly. “Our carriage awaits,” he said with great formality, which caused all three of them to laugh. “It’s good to hear you laugh again, Lilly,” Matthew said as he helped her up into the carriage. “There’s a place not far from Pawtucket Falls where I thought we could picnic.”

“That’s private property, Matthew. Are you planning to trespass?”

He gave her a smile. “I think we’ll be safe,” he replied as he urged the horses onward. “I’ve been concerned about you, Lilly. You’ve been so withdrawn since Lewis’s death.”

She nodded. “I realize that’s true, Matthew. I’ve been feeling so alone, floundering for some sense of identity. I know it may sound feeble, but I’ve been dwelling on the fact that I’m the only Armbruster left. Then the other day I went to the cemetery and was praying, wondering why God had permitted Lewis to die, questioning why I had to be completely alone, without family. It all seemed too unfair. I didn’t want to be alone.”

Matthew pulled the carriage to a halt. “Good! I’m glad to hear you don’t want to be alone, because that’s what I want to discuss with you,” Matthew replied as he helped her down and retrieved the picnic basket.

“Really? Well, let me tell you what God revealed to me the other day,” she said, her words gushing forth. “I’m not alone. I have a nephew, Lewis’s child. I want to find him, Matthew. I know you asked a few questions at the Acre shortly after Lewis died, but you didn’t
really
look for the child. I want to find the boy. He’s an Armbruster. Will you help me find him?”

Matthew placed a cloth on the ground and began to spread out their picnic luncheon. “Sit down,” he said, patting the blanket and waiting until she seated herself. “I would be willing to help you find the child if you would agree to help me in return,” he said. “Is that something you think you could agree to?”

Lilly gave him a quizzical look. “I can’t imagine how I could possibly help you with anything, but I promise to do my very best.”

Matthew nodded and slowly pulled a small box from the inside pocket of his coat. He carefully arched his hand over the box, and although Lilly tried her best, she was unable to peek around his fingers.

Matthew gave her a solemn look. “Now, remember what you’ve promised,” he said with finality.

Lilly was beginning to question the propriety of her decision. Surely Matthew wouldn’t ask her to do anything inappropriate, would he? “I remember,” she meekly answered.

Matthew handed the box to Lilly. Nestled inside was a beautiful sapphire ring. “This ring once belonged to my grandmother,” he said.

“It’s beautiful,” Lilly replied, handing it back to him.

He smiled. “I’m pleased you like it, because my grandmother gave me the ring so that I could one day give it to my wife, Lilly.”

It took a moment before she understood the full impact of what Matthew was saying. She gazed at him in disbelief. “Are you—do you—I mean . . .” she stammered.

“Yes, Lilly, I’m asking you to marry me. I want you to become my wife.”

Tears streamed down Lilly’s cheeks. Matthew wanted her to be his wife. She was going to belong to someone—have a family.

Matthew softly brushed away her tears. “I know I can’t make up for all you’ve lost, but I’m determined that together we can create an even better life. It won’t replace your old family, and that’s not what I want to do. You need to keep your memories. But I want to make you happy. I want to build new memories with you, Lilly. I want you to be my wife.” He paused and gave her a look so full of love and longing that Lilly thought her heart would burst. “I love you, Lilly. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

“Oh, and I love you, Matthew. I did you wrong by blaming you for everything that happened here in Lowell. I wanted so much for life . . . for us, to go on as it had always been. It was safe and I was happy.”

“I want to make you happy again. Will you marry me?” He paused and gave her a roguish grin. “Don’t forget your promise that you’d do anything I asked.”

Wiping away a stray tear, Lilly permitted Matthew to slip the ring on her finger. “It would make me very proud to be your wife, Matthew,” she said, gazing down at the ring. Tears of joy spilled over and trickled down her cheeks. “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you,” she said, lifting her lips to accept his kiss.

****

“I’m not sure how I’m going to hide my ring,” Lilly said, gazing down at the sparkling stone as they arrived at the boardinghouse.

Matthew gave her a look of surprise as he pulled the horses to a halt. “Why would you want to do that?”

Lilly took hold of Matthew’s hand as he helped her out of the buggy. “I thought you would want your parents to know our plans first—before I told Miss Addie or any of the girls here at the boardinghouse.”

Matthew pulled her into an embrace. “My mother won’t care who knows first, so long as I’ve asked you to marry me and you’ve accepted,” he said, leaning down and kissing her lightly on the lips. He pulled away and added, “She’s been quite enthusiastic about this for some time.” He kissed her a little longer this time, then pulled away again to say, “I must say, I’m getting quite enthusiastic about the idea myself.” This time he kissed her quite soundly.

Lilly giggled and melted into his arms, the warmth of Matthew’s lips against her own and his strong arms surrounding her enchanting. But then she remembered herself and quickly pulled away. “Miss Mintie is probably hiding behind her curtains watching every move we make,” Lilly whispered. “And I have no desire to be the talk of the town.”

Matthew tilted his head back and laughed, an enthusiastic, resonant chuckle. “Well, I hope Mintie Beecher gets her eyes full!” he said as he pulled Lilly close for another sweet, lingering kiss.

Chapter 35

Sunday, September 6, 1829

“Didn’t I tell you you’d be married before a year was out?” Addie teased as she helped to adjust Lilly’s wedding veil.

“Yes, you did, but it’s actually been a few days beyond a year,” Lilly replied.

Addie laughed. Standing on tiptoe she checked the top of the veil. “Well, I’ll not begrudge you a few days over. The important thing is that you’re marrying your true love.” She stepped back and shook her head. “And aren’t you the picture of perfection?”

Lilly gazed at her reflection in the mirror and could scarcely believe the image she found there. “I look so . . . so . . .”

“Beautiful!” Addie declared.

Lilly studied the gown as she turned first one direction and then the other. The layered muslin rippled gently. She liked the way the pleated bodice had been trimmed with white satin ribbon. “I’m just amazed at the workmanship of this gown. Mrs. Cheever arranged to have it created for me, and I simply can’t imagine what it must have cost her.”

“That’s unimportant,” Addie told her. “She knows the worth of the woman inside the gown. That will always be much more important.” She smiled and put one more pin in Lilly’s upswept hair. “There, now that should hold.”

Miss Addie had given her the lace piece that acted as her veil. “This lace is exquisite. Oh, Miss Addie, I’m so happy I could cry.”

“Well, they say if you don’t cry on your wedding day, you’ll cry for the rest of the marriage. But I’m not of a mind to believe it. I’d refrain from crying,” Addie admonished. “You don’t want to go to your bridegroom with puffy red eyes.”

“I can’t believe I’m actually marrying Matthew. It seems like a long-forgotten dream, and now it’s coming true,” Lilly declared, turning to Addie. “You’ve been such a dear friend throughout this ordeal. I’m so blessed to have your friendship. I hope you know you’ll be welcomed in our home anytime.”

“Oh, my dear, I’m the one who has been blessed. You taught me to cook and made my boardinghouse one of the most sought after in all of Lowell. I’ll have no trouble filling your vacancy, but I’ll miss your company more than I can say.”

“Then we’ll have to make certain we share tea at least once—no, two times a week,” Lilly declared. “No matter what, we mustn’t lose touch or let time separate us.”

“Agreed,” Addie said as though making an earnest pledge.

****

With Addie and John to stand with them, Matthew and Lilly were joined in marriage in a quiet ceremony at St. Anne’s. Lilly listened to the solemn tones of the minister and felt Matthew’s reassuring touch. With her friends from the mills present to witness their vows, Lilly felt quite blessed and loved. She knew her parents would have smiled upon the union and felt confident in the knowledge that she was doing the right thing.