Deadly Betrayal (6 page)

Yelling at him didn’t help. My soul had turned into a sad and confused little thing that hid in a dark corner.

“Alex…” His voice was soft and sad. “I’ve told you the truth, or at least most of what I remember. I was on the Grendl, in the engine room, rigging the explosion. I knew I was going to die, but it was okay, because everyone else would be safe.
You
would be safe.”

It sounded like something he would say and do. He had gone there to protect me, and knowing he died for me had been one of the worst parts of all the past months.

“I set off the explosion and woke up weeks later in a maintenance closet with a cleaning robot for company. I had radiation damage and it took months to restructure my data and neural network. By the time I was able to even move my fingers you had already left the ship.”

“But… How did you get
there
? Why didn’t you talk to Anya or Blake?”

He gave a slight shrug. “Finding you seemed more important. The Bell is just a job.”

Just a job.
My
Adam would never have said that, unless he was malfunctioning.

“But who? How?”

“Alex, I came for you because I love you, but if you don’t want me anymore I understand. If you don’t want me around I’ll leave and you will never have to see me again.”

I should say something.

I
had
to say something, or he would go away and I would never know the truth. I might not be willing to take the leap of faith and believe him right now, but I wanted the chance for the future. If he left, I wouldn’t even have the chance to change my mind.

No words left my lips.

Adam waited a few more seconds before nodding. “Okay.”

By the time I managed to speak, the door had already closed behind him.

Adam was leaving, and he would never come back.

When he said never, it meant
never
. We might run into each other somewhere at some point in time, but it wouldn’t be the same.

This was my only chance.

Could I live with myself if I didn’t take it?

It’s a leap of faith.

My body finally moved, but when I entered the corridor he was nowhere in sight.

He would be going down, to get back to the station and his shuttle.

I should go down too.

The world had reduced to a slow-motion crawl and the few steps to the lifts seemed to take ten minutes. The wait for the lift to arrive stabbed at my soul.

We’ve done this before, in this very ship.

The situation wasn’t exactly the same as when the Bell balanced on the verge of a black hole and Adam headed into the void in an attempt to save it, but it was too close for comfort.

That time I saved the day and my marriage through betraying John and telling Adam the earth-shattering secret of John being his father. What could I do this time?

Nothing if I didn’t catch up with him.

When the lift finally opened to the bottom floor, the corridor gaped empty.

Was I too late?

Had he gone somewhere else?

A door at the other end slid shut.

“Adam!”

He couldn’t have heard me. I ran to catch up, but my shoe caught on the rough floor and I tumbled forward.

“Ow.”

Dammit. Always the klutz.

This way I’d never catch up, and dear lord my knee hurt.

“Alex, what are you doing?”

His voice was close, thank God.

“I’m trying to catch up with you.”

He came closer and crouched next to me. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not.”

Now it wasn’t just my heart aching; it was my entire body.

He helped me sit up, just like the real Adam would.

“You’re the only one I know who can stumble on a flat floor.” His voice was so gentle. Loving.

“Yeah, well, a girl has to have some form of talent.”

“You underestimate yourself. You have many talents.”

I sighed and resisted an urge to lean against him.

“Do you remember Enoch? You jumped into the central shaft to save me.”

The big tunnel that went through all the floors of the Bell intimidated me when standing by the fence peeking up or down. I couldn’t fathom anyone jumping into it for my sake, but he had.

“I wanted to kill him. I never hated anyone before that day.”

Would someone who wasn’t the real him know this?

Adam got to his feet and offered his hand to pull me up. My knee throbbed, but held my weight. With any luck I’d be able to walk without limping.

“Are you really my Adam? My husband?”

“I am.”

He was close. How comforting it would be to lean my head against his chest, be held, and stop worrying. I reached to take his hand again, but thought better of it and let mine fall back to hang by my side.

“If you’re not my Adam, please stop toying with me. If you are, please stay and never leave me again.”

“I can’t promise that, but I promise to try.”

Good enough. He pulled me close and I didn’t struggle. My body believed him.

“Oh God I’ve missed you.”

A part of me still expected a trick and thought he would squeeze so hard I died, but a larger part gave in and relaxed in his arms. Holding on to him and burying my face against his chest felt nothing short of heavenly.

I didn’t realize I was crying until he ran a hand over my hair and rocked me gently from side to side. His voice comforted me.

“I promise I will do my best not to die again. I can’t promise it won’t happen, but I will try.”

*****

Going back through the corridors with Adam by my side gave a surreal feeling. So much had changed, but it felt like nothing bad ever happened.

Should I tell John he was staying? This became complicated quickly.

What if he thought he was Adam, but he really was a trap someone built? John and I weren’t all that interesting, but the Bell would be. Maybe someone expected us to bring him there, and when we arrived he would sabotage the ship.

It seemed a longwinded way to gain access to the Bell, but Adam reinstated would have credentials to the bridge. Who knew what might have happened to the Confederacy during all the months we were away.

Adam shook me out of my rambling thoughts through stopping outside my door and burying his hands in my hair.

“Can I… Can I please stay with you tonight?”

This was the first time since his return I saw true emotion on his face: agony.

How long had he been alone, struggling to heal, think, and to be able to move? How long had he searched for me and John, alone? Waited, hoped, and been rejected? He found his family and we ran away from him, over and over.

“Yes. Yes, you can.”

Whatever time it might be on the station, it was late ship-time. Adam took off his shoes and stretched out on the bed with all his clothes on.

I followed his example. Awkward, but better than being alone.

It still didn’t feel right.

I leaned on an elbow and rested my free hand on his arm.

“I need to go talk to John. Stay here.”

“Will you be back?”

His earlier confidence vanished somewhere between the corridor and my bed. Now he sounded forlorn.

“Of course I will. Stay here and I’ll be right back.”

*****

John was on the bridge, perfectly sober, running an internal scan on the ship.

He flashed a smiled when I entered. “What did you do with your entourage?”

“He’s in my room. Or, well, at least that’s where I left him.” I went closer, resting my hand on his shoulder and squinting at the computer readout.

“It doesn’t look like he brought any unwanted presents for us. No tracking devices, no explosives.” He paused. “Do you think it’s him?”

“I do, and I think you do too, or you wouldn’t have brought him on the ship. Certainly not to my room.”

John nodded. “True. But if it is
him
, there’s something wrong with him. You know that, right?”

Most of the time, the new Adam sounded exactly like my Adam, and then not at all.

“I don’t know what to do. What do I do?”

He sighed but smiled at the same time. “Go talk to him. Figure out if you think it’s really him. I’m going down in a few, I’ll be right next door if you need me.”

“Okay.”

I probably didn’t look all that convinced. He met my eyes and frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“Do you want me to tell him to leave?”

“No. But thank you for offering.”

“I can lock in him there if you want him securely stored, but honestly it won’t do much good if he decides he wants to leave the room.”

Adam could bend hull plating. A mere door wouldn’t be able to hold him. It was a moot point, because it was a horrible idea. More of a joke than anything.

John reached out and wrapped a strong arm around my waist.

“You know I wouldn’t leave you alone with him if I thought it put you in danger. And I’ll be right next door. Do you want a weapon?”

The idea of me with one of his big blasters was preposterous. “No. But thank you.”

“Alex, if he is our boy we have to take care of him. We need to figure this out, and he needs our help.” His voice was gentle and made me feel guilty.

I had been sure Adam was who he claimed to be earlier in the evening, so why did I doubt him now? Was it just an excuse to step off this emotional roller coaster?

“I know. I’m on my way.”

“Wait. Gimme a hug.”

Being held made me feel better.

John murmured, “You can do this. I believe in you.”

*****

When I returned to the room Adam hadn’t moved, and I crawled up next to him. We lay side by side, staring at the ceiling.

I should say something, but I had nothing. Nothing even remotely intelligent came to mind. His return, all these events, and the whirlwind of emotions were too complicated for my poor brain. I didn’t even know what I was supposed to feel. Relief? Joy? Fear?

After hesitating for a few long minutes I inched my hand closer to his until I could touch it. I reached out a finger and brushed it over his thumb. Adam grabbed my hand, holding it tight.

“Would you come here?” His voice was so quiet I barely heard him, but it was enough. I rolled over on the side and rested my head on his shoulder.

This is what home feels like.

“Can I hold you?”

I wanted to say no, because I didn’t want to let go of his hand, but being held appealed even more.

“Sure.”

Strange. His arms around me felt like they always did, as if nothing happened and no time passed.

“This feels so good. I'm happy you're here.”

“Good. I worried you might have let me in for the wrong reasons.”

“Like what?”

I felt him shrug. “Nostalgia maybe, or pity.”

If his story was true, he had been radiation damaged, immobilized, and locked in his own mind. How traumatic must that be? I thought he had been gone forever and I counted time in days, weeks, and months.
He
counted fractions of seconds. From his point of view, he had probably been alone for a lifetime.

His programming could not be equipped to handle something like this. Was that why he still acted so oddly and didn’t reason like
Adam
would?

How could I ask and make sense? Formulating a sentence that contained all my thoughts and fears was too complicated. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.”

That sounded like a no.

“Do you still need...”

Need what? Parts? Repairs? Such cold words for a living, conscious person.

“I need fresh memory circuits, but I’m making do. She didn’t have any.”

She?

I leaned on my elbow and caught his gaze.

“Who didn’t have any?”

“Debana.”

What?

“Debana teleported you out of the ship and hid you in a cleaning closet?”

“Yes. Why? You sound jealous.”

Was I jealous? If I were, I had undeniable proof this was my husband and not an imposter.

“Should I be? Why didn’t she tell me?”

“From what I hear, you refused to see anyone. John threw everyone out and neither of you responded to messages.”

Did he know how much time John and I spent together? Probably. He must have followed us for a while.

Not relevant. I needed to stay on topic.

“Why didn’t she tell someone else? And how did she know you were there?”

“Alex, I don’t know. I need to purge my databases and you need to sleep. Can we talk about this later?” He sounded weary.

I leaned my head down on his shoulder again, frowning. Too much new information, and too much to think about.

“Adam… I’m sorry I didn’t believe you at once.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m happy you’re back.”

His breathing was just an imitation of the human need for air, but the steady movement still soothed me.

Debana was awesome, and a good friend. Right? She helped me destroy the remains of Eve after the malfunctioning android took over the ship, set Adam on fire, and attempted to kill me.

If the story was true, Debana
had
saved Adam from certain death. Keeping him hidden was an excellent example of bad judgment, but she might have her reasons. Maybe the danger wasn’t over and she knew something about it?

She had stowed him away well enough to allow for safe repairs, and it was hard to see any malicious intent.

Adam might know something he wasn’t supposed to. He might have seen something that put him in danger. She might not have known whom else to trust.

“Alex, go to sleep.”

How did he know I was fretting?

I stretched up to kiss his cheek, making him smile and hold me tighter.