Deadly Wands (3 page)

William concealed how tempting that was.
"You're just a girl. How will you pass yourself off as my
wife?"

And there it was. The moment of truth. Liz
looked forward to and dreaded this opportunity. She rehearsed the
script she wrote in her head and hoped it sounded natural.

"I have a related concern. I’d rather die
than give the Mongols a plausible heir to the English throne. Not
being a virgin would help, being with child would help even more,
but being married with child would be best. A legitimate son would
have greater claim than a younger, half-Mongolian bastard brother.
And a boy as handsome as you wouldn’t hurt, either.”

Later she would laugh at how her vow to
“never marry” didn’t even last the day.

Stunned, he sat on the bed, which put her
wonderful breasts at eye level. It impressed him how clearly she
thought things through. He liked smart, strong women.

"How could you plan all this before even
meeting me? What if I was an ogre, an idiot, or a birk?"

"I saw those machines you made to
mass-produce the parts for the longbow, so you're no dummy. George
likes and respects you, and gays are great judges of character. You
could be married, but after three years here alone you’re more
likely a widow. You’re not gay or George would have had his way
with you. And you could not be ugly or George would not have tried
to have his way with you." They both laughed at that. "Honestly,
though, I assumed you were much older because he said you must be a
veteran. But you’re not old. In fact, I'd say you’re perfect for
me."

“You could be a little taller,” he joked.

She playfully smacked him, stunned at how
comfortable she felt with him.

“I can’t believe I’m telling a total stranger
this, but you should know that my family has dedicated itself to
burning the ancient trees that the Mongol Empire needs. The older
the tree, the stronger the wand. The Mongols don't have the largest
military they can afford; they have the largest military that they
can arm. My grandfather estimated we’ve denied the Empire several
million wands by burning the trees they use to carve them.”

"That's bloody brilliant!" And it was.
Burning those forests gave the rest of the world time to catch up.
His family basically saved Europe. "Two could burn twice as many
trees, so we should team up."

With that, she inexpertly removed her
clothing. Now revealed in all of her natural glory, ignorance
paralyzed her.

"Now what do I do?" she begged him,
bewildered.

The adorable look on her face captivated him.
He could protect Free Europe simply by marrying and impregnating
the queen's delicious granddaughter. His parents would approve. His
grandma would blast him for hesitating. William, who never did
anything impulsive, went to the other extreme.

“Lady Elizabeth, will you marry me?”

Relieved, she jumped into his scabby
arms.

CHAPTER 3

The castle, built upon a high volcanic
outcropping, dominated the Edinburgh skyline. Sheer cliffs to the
north and south, and a steep ascent from the west, meant the castle
only had to defend itself on the ground from the east. A six-ton
siege cannon called Mons Meg, built in 1449, could hit targets two
Scottish miles away. Since everyone used the metric system, no one
knew how far a Scottish mile was.

"I see why your uncle stores his money
there," William commented dryly.

Indeed, the place looked impregnable. It was
first fortified by the legendary Briton King Ebraucus 2500 years
before, who had fifty children by twenty women. Ebraucus' father
killed his own brother, ruled as a tyrant for twenty years, then,
like the Roman dictator Sulla, gave up power to pursue sodomy.

"The vault lies in David's Tower, near St.
Margaret's Chapel. John married into Scottish royalty to get the
castle. All we have to do is remove some blocks around the arrow
slit, fill up the backpacks, and fly away."

Yes, as if anything is as easy as it should
be.

They flew in from the north and knocked out a
few sleepy guards. They used three wands to hover around the arrow
slit, each using a blade to slice into the mortar that bound each
block. It still took several exhausting minutes to remove enough
blocks to slip in. The wealth stunned them. Each quickly filled up
a backpack, starting with the gold and precious jewels.

All too soon they heard someone yelling. A
moment later, a uniformed guard flew to the opening and saw the
wand-torches. Liz extended steel in the shape of a hammer to smash
his helmet, but he sounded an alarm as he fell down. The high
piercing noise echoed over the castle. William assumed they’d leave
at once, but Liz kept filling her backpack until a quad started
blasting them.

"That's an idiot, so it must be my cousin,"
Liz informed him. "He's Keeper of the Castle, so it's his hide if
we get away." She seemed remarkably calm given the partial blasts
coming in, and William suddenly realized that she wanted this
confrontation. The prospect of her kicking ass really turned him
on.

A blast widens over time, so the farther
away, the more it disperses, losing lethality. Firing closer in
would have cooked them alive.

"Let me buy us some time." She tapped her
wand to her vocal cords to multiply the sound of her voice.
"Aidian!”

"I know that voice. Who are you?" Aidian
shouted back.

"What's grandma gonna do when she learns how
much you stole from her?"

"Identify yourself!" he screamed.

Blasts from a few dozen wands now struck
them, but they were fired from too far away to hurt them.
Fools.

"They're lined up along the rampart," she
guessed, getting up after getting knocked down from a pressure
wave. "Help me with my backpack. It's heavier than I thought."

Even with her back against the wall, she
could barely stand upright.

"How do super-quads carry twice their
weight?" she asked in disbelief.

"The stronger the wands, the more you can
carry," William reassured her, himself dubious she could haul so
much.

"Aidian," she called out to pause the firing.
"Neither you nor yours will ever be king."

"Elizabeth?" he asked in stunned disbelief.
"What the hell are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking of blasting you to hell!" she
yelled with the laugh of a drunk to mislead him. "It's time to
settle things between us."

Aidian chuckled, all his arrogance showing.
"This is a better gift than that trifle you gave me for my
wedding."

William turned her to face him. “You are
incredibly sexy.” She looked at him bewildered, so he put her hand
on his erection. Liz had never felt more flattered.

She flew around the tower to scan the castle
for warriors. "The roof is clear and I don't see anyone to the
south. I'll lead them north and meet you at the tree. And don’t
worry: I’m not gonna die before I marry you!”

William was not so sure. It’s hard to fight
when carrying so much weight, so he took off his backpack in case
he had to rescue her.

"Come and get me, cousin!"

She fired two-meter-long flames so Aidian
would underestimate her. Then, with a scream, she flew high to meet
him.

From higher up he fired continuously. She let
one graze her so she could pretend to lose her balance. Sure
enough, he dived to finish her off. Flailing a few hundred meters
above ground, she almost lost her balance while pretending to lose
her balance.

Liz barely managed to avoid the next blast by
maximizing thrust from every wand. They closed quickly and extended
blades, but Liz had double his range and crushed his groin with a
spiked ball a second before he chopped her head off. He had
tormented her all her life -- leaving him alive but impotent was
the most satisfying thing she had ever done.

The pain cost him his concentration. She
risked her life to grab him before he fell to his death. Something
deep inside her screamed that he must die. Life is precious, but
lives are cheap, and not every death is a tragedy. Instead, she
dropped him into the moat so the guards would have to save him
instead of pursue her, never knowing the great price William would
pay for this mistake.

Hidden in the tower, William marveled at his
new fiancée. He found himself looking forward to their wedding with
un-William-like enthusiasm.

"Holy crap," he whispered to himself as he
escaped. "I'm actually getting married!”

CHAPTER 4

The exhausted couple landed at dawn before
the front gate of a secluded rural estate surrounded by grassy
hills. Liz made her wand sound a greeting as several dogs rushed
them. Because fliers could literally drop anywhere, everyone owned
guard dogs to warn them of intruders. Often, the first sign of an
attack was a dog burning.

"You nervous?" William asked, surprised,
given her steadiness robbing a freaking castle.

"When my father was a teenager, he fell for a
peasant named Susan who won the national championship. But he
couldn’t marry her because the family didn’t find her genealogy
acceptable. So they had ten kids instead and she helped find other
powerful quads to also have his children. Because she had his
children first, and because she has enough personality for several
people, everyone calls her the Matriarch. Which pisses off the
queen, who everyone calls Margaret.

“The queen put my father in charge of the
conquest of Ireland. After several great victories, he fell for my
mother, a great Irish queen. Their marriage united northern
Ireland. His plan was to sire someone who could become king of both
England and Ireland, like his parents did with Scotland. Then my
mother died giving birth to me.

“With grandma angry with dad, Uncle John took
the stipends and estates given to my father’s families,
impoverishing them. He quite literally made a few hundred of my
siblings homeless. They don't blame me personally, but I can't help
but remind them of their change in fortune."

"Then you must remind them of something
else," William said mysteriously.

Liz turned to stare at him when a large man
holding wands burst out. He touched a wand to one eye, closed the
other, then yelled excitedly back to the house. A dozen people
burst to give Liz hugs, all talking over each other and the dogs. A
little prodigy named Emily flew into William’s arms and gave him a
hug so good she could have charged for it. William could easily
tell who the Matriarch was, even though she didn’t look any older
than her sons. After an eternity of greetings, the group slowly
made their way inside.

"This is my fiancé, William. William, this is
Susan and her first-born son, Richard."

William shocked everyone by hugging the
Matriarch, who intimidated most people, then shook the big guy's
hand. "You are younger than I expected, your majesty."

They all laughed, since the first-born son of
the Royal Heir looked like his clone.

"And you don't look like an old Mongol birk,"
Richard replied with a smile.

"No, I’m some other birk," William said to
more laughter, winning them over. "Back home in Prussia I’m the
Baron Wilhelm von Richthofen."

The news floored Liz like a banana peel. She
decided to marry a guy without even knowing his real name.

"Listen, I need help. If I marry the Mongol
ambassador, they’ll build military bases here to open another front
against Free Europe. To stop the treaty I must marry someone else
and produce a non-Mongol heir."

"Are you already pregnant?" the Matriarch
asked sternly.

"No, but we’re working on it day and night,"
Liz replied to knowing smiles. "Father’s presence at my wedding
will give it the legitimacy it needs against Prince John’s
inevitable attacks. Yet we must flee England before John arrests
us.”

Richard groaned, because only he could
convince the prince to return to England.

"He can’t afford to come now, with the potato
famine collapsing the Irish economy."

"Ask him if he’d like to borrow a ton of gold
at 5% simple interest," William suggested.

One benefit of Mongols controlling an economy
larger than the rest of the world’s combined was their insistence
on standardizing weights, measures, and distances. A "full" coin
weighs exactly 100 grams, so ten of them weigh a kilo. A thousand
kilos is a ton. A "half" coin weighs 50 grams and a “quarter” coin
25 grams. Silver coins of equal weight were worth fifteen times
less, and equally heavy bronze coins that much less. No one trusted
non-standard coins anymore. So a ton of gold was literal, not a
metaphor.

Everyone stared hard at him, especially his
soon-to-be wife. "What?" he asked her with a huge smile on his
face. "You thought I was poor?"

Her husband, as she already thought of him,
was becoming a mystery before her eyes.

"If he isn't interested, I sure would be,"
Richard said eagerly. “Did Liz mention that I headed the royal
treasury before John fired me? I now run Global Bank, which my
great-grandfather started a century ago.”

"Bring the prince here for our wedding and
I’ll loan each of you a ton of gold."

“You’re gonna loan a banker money?” The big
guy laughed as he lifted his granddaughter Emily into his arms. “I
feel like a baker begging for flour.”

“You’re right. Instead I’ll buy 75% of your
bank for two gold tons.”

“49%,” Richard said too quickly.

William smiled. “Now that I know what it’s
worth, I’ll pay three tons for 85% and double your salary.”

Liz watched her family jump up and down in
excitement. Little Emily gave Liz two thumbs up.

"What's the catch?" Richard asked, because
there’s always a catch.

"You have to fly a few thousand kilometers to
get it. Just get one hundred quads to carry thirty kilos each."