Dear Rose 2: Winter's Dare (3 page)

“Same way as your friend? Sauce on the side? No olives?”

“Yes.” Did that sound as biting to them as it did to him? He couldn’t help it. He had a crisis, and lunch orders seemed more important to these other people than they did him.

Josie shot him a look before rushing off. Tucker would have to leave her a big tip for dealing with his bad mood and Devyn’s BS.

“Something has you all hot and bothered.” Devyn added cream and sugar substitute to his coffee before he stirred it.

“Someone.” Tucker took a sip of water. “Someone.” She’d had him hot and bothered since college. Only she never seemed to know it.

“So what has Ms. Ally done now? Did she not do chores? Did she leave her romance novels in the bath?” Devyn rested his chin on his palm. “Or maybe she sang in the shower?” He shuddered. “That would be scary.” Ally loved to sing. Off-key.

“She’s not happy.”

“Imagine that.” The lack of surprise evident on Devyn’s face chilled Tucker to the core.

“She talked to you.” Tucker’s hands tightened. “What did she say?” He should have known Ally would have talked to the man. And for the first time ever, he felt jealous. After all, he was the one who shared Ally’s bed. And most of her life. Why would she talk to Devyn over him? Hell, about him?

“She hasn’t talked to me. She’s been a little wrapped up in some things I’ve being doing, so we haven’t talked much about her. But I’m not blind. I noticed she isn’t Miss Sunshine lately.” Devyn narrowed his eyes at Tucker. “I do notice things beyond myself. Sometimes.”

“Shit. Then you don’t know what’s going on.” That was what he was hoping for even as he’d been envious. He’d wanted Devyn to tell him what she’d said so that he could fix it and make it better. He was a whiz at fixing stuff. Surely he could get this done. He could make Ally better, and they could go on like they had been.

“I don’t
know
what it is. I
suspect
what is.” Devyn gave him his best serious look. That Devyn suspected what it was surprised Tucker.

“What?” Right now he’d take anything. And that included speculation from someone he’d known longer than Ally. Devyn didn’t have a reputation for his insights, but maybe he could have picked up on something.

“You truly don’t know?” Devyn shook his head back and forth. He looked sadly at Tucker. “You’re clueless.”

“I don’t.” Tucker tried not to let irritation come through his voice but he couldn’t help it. “And usually, I am.” Except when it came to carpentry or philosophy. Women had always eluded his superior plane of knowledge. Ally had been the exception. Until now.

“You’re a big fucking idiot. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out why Ally is unhappy.” Devyn stated the words like whatever was going on was the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn’t. If it was, Tucker would have picked up on it. He wasn’t
that
dense. Or was he? Because he didn’t know and Devyn seemed to.

Tucker drummed his fingers on the table. “Why don’t
you
tell me why Ally is unhappy, rocket scientist who thought it took that level to read a menu before noon. Enlighten me.”

“You philosophy majors. Geesh.” Devyn took a huge sip of his water. “I think I burned my tongue on that damn hot coffee.”

“Dev.” Devyn’s actions reminded him of when they played card games like Bullshit and Ally bluffed. She was always changing the subject to anything but the game. They had both learned to read her actions. She never understood how they knew she had not put down what she claimed. Dev usually dived straight into whatever he was doing and damn any consequences. But his alter ego, Rose, did love to torture people. Maybe Devyn had picked up a few things from her.

Devyn met his eyes with an unflinching, unflattering glare that made his words all the more shattering. “You.”

“What?” Of all the answers that Devyn could have given him, he hadn’t been expecting that one. Yes, he irritated Ally sometimes. But not to the point of making her miserable.

“You.” He didn’t enunciate it any differently. He said it short, crisp, and to the point.

“Me what?” Tucker wasn’t buying this explanation yet. Devyn was going to have to sell him on it.

“
You’re
making Ally unhappy.” Devyn pinched his nostrils shut. “Do I have to explain why, genius?”

Tucker sat back in his chair. “Excuse me?” He worked like a dog to make Ally happy. He tried to do as much for her as he could. That was ludicrous, that he could be the cause of her misery. “Yes, you do need to explain this. How can I be causing her to be sad?”

Devyn held up his palms as though in supplication, though he was never sorry for anything he said, especially when he believed it was the truth. “I don’t think you mean to. But you’re making her unhappy.”

“How could I be?” Tucker blew out an exasperated breath. This was ludicrous. Only outside Tucker, Devyn knew Ally better than anyone. He had to have some insights. So how had he come up with that answer?

Josie showed up with their meal. Of course Devyn had to chat about everything, so it was ten minutes later before she left again.

“How could I be making Ally unhappy?” Tucker almost snapped the words. He had been waiting too long. He didn’t want to delay any more with chitchat. It was time that he got his answers. He wasn’t usually this impatient. But it was Ally they were talking about.

“How long have we been friends?” Devyn set about cutting up his lettuce. He always cut everything down to size. Tucker would just shovel it in. Only he didn’t feel like eating. A miracle. “All of us. Not just you and I.”

“Forever.” Tucker shrugged. “Since first year of college. I met you, and not long after we met Ally…”

“…and the rest is history.” Devyn finished cutting every piece of lettuce. He surveyed and cut up one that must have been too big. “Did Ally talk about her dreams with us?”

“Yeah, we all did. And we’ve all made a lot of those dreams come true.” Tucker had known he wanted to work with his hands, even when he was in college. He’d gotten a job at a construction company that he’d eventually taken over. He was now the boss. Ally had wanted to work with animals. She’d become a biology major, than a vet tech. Devyn, he’d wanted to sing. Who would have guessed Rose would have taken him so far? They hadn’t even known Rose existed in Devyn. All that they had known was that they needed friends, and they’d found each other. They’d all been misfits in some way.

“We have made a lot of the things that we talked about come true.” Devyn held up his coffee cup as in salute. “That we have.” He set down his coffee cup. “We talked about the future and our significant others too.” They’d talked about everything. “When Ally talked about relationships, did she in any way talk about being someone’s fuck buddy for the rest of her life?”

Tucker swallowed. Everything suddenly cold inside him.
Stupid salad
. Not that he’d eaten any of it. He should have gotten red meat. Or at least something hot. There was an iceberg in the pit of his stomach. “No. No, she didn’t.”

“What did she talk about?” Devyn crunched on a crouton, looking interested in the answer. An answer he knew.

Those late-night sessions where they discussed their ideal mate had usually been after several beers or whatever cheap wine the ABC store had on hand. But Tucker had listened to every word that Ally had put forth. Devyn hadn’t been looking for Carl, so it had surprised them all that Carl was different than what Devyn said he wanted. Ally hadn’t been looking for Tucker either. “She talked about a man. Walks on the beach. Typical girly stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary. White picket fence.” She’d wanted stability. Like her parents. “A home with a garden. Bird-watching. Sunsets.”

“And that’s where you didn’t listen. To what Ally said.” Devyn paused. “She wanted a
husband
. Someone to be in love with. Someone to love her back. Love was in everything she talked about. And permanency. Like her parents. She wants a committed relationship.”

That was true. She had an idealistic idea of love. Her parents had been together forever and had been happy. Ally had always talked about finding what they had. But what did that have to do with this? Ally and he weren’t dating. There had never been any talk of a relationship. They had just sort of fallen in together. “So?”

“So being fuck buddies isn’t being in love.” Devyn must have seen Tucker tense. “Don’t be irritated. I’m just telling the score. She wanted someone to love and love her back, not just have sex with her. You two have been having sex, what since the last year of college?”

“Third year.” It had been a wild night. They’d seen a falling star. He hadn’t had to do much coaxing to get her into his bed. Now he couldn’t imagine her not sharing his bed. They spent more time together than most couples. And up until recently, she’d been fine.

“Oh my. Ally held out on me.” Devyn smiled with a wicked glint in his eye. “That vixen.”

They hadn’t done that again until the next year in a mad rush of graduation angst. It hadn’t become a regular thing until four years ago. He couldn’t remember the last woman he dated. Most of his time was spent with Ally.

“I just don’t get this. She’s happy with sex.” And he damn sure was. “She’s been happy with the way things are.”

“Yeah. She probably enjoys the sex. But she wants
more
. More than what you give her. She probably doesn’t even know why she’s unhappy, but I know it’s because she’s not made to be a fuck buddy. She never was.”

Tucker closed his eyes a second. He could still hear her flat voice, so unlike his Ally.
“I don’t know, Tucker.”
“She doesn’t know why. I asked her this morning. She told me she didn’t.” How could Devyn know that? Damn him. He’d never seemed particularly insightful. Tucker was ready to blow all his speculation off as bullshit. But if Devyn was right about that part, maybe he was right about the whole thing?

Devyn had just put a bit of salad in his mouth. He held up one finger and finished chewing. “There you have it. She’s unhappy because while sex is fun, she’s never been one to have sex without a commitment. In fact, you’re the only guy she’s ever been with that she hasn’t been out on a date with at least five times.” Ally had always picked her guys carefully and lasted several months to over a year with them, while Devyn and Tucker had had whirlwind relationships. Up until Carl for Devyn. And up until about four years ago for Tucker.

“We go out. All the time. We spend time together.” If only he didn’t sound so defensive. He took a deep breath, trying to get his emotions reined back in. He needed to consider this, if only to reject it later. “As friends. Not on a date. We’re buds. Not…all this girlfriend/boyfriend shit.” That just bred trouble. “We get along great.”

Devyn’s fork paused in midair as he gave a “what the fuck” look to Tucker. “Yeah, that’s why she’s miserable. She wants more than being friends and having sex. And if you aren’t going to give her that, you need to cut her loose, bro.”

Tucker almost sputtered. If he’d had a coldness in his stomach before, it was frigid now. “Cut her loose? I don’t want to lose Ally.” She was his best friend. He loved going to bed beside her each night. He enjoyed waking up to her in the morning, even when she was too damn cheerful.

“You need to tell her that. You need to give her what she needs. You need to discuss how you feel.”

“I do tell her.” Tucker pushed around his lettuce, still not eating it. He should have gotten anything but this rabbit food. “She knows how I feel. That we’re buds. That we’re friends. Best friends. There’s nothing more to say.”

“Then you will lose her.” Devyn rolled his eyes. “That’s not enough. Not for her right now. She’s looking for more of a relationship.” Devyn zeroed in his gaze on Tucker. “And I know you’ve been in love with her since…fourth year of college.”

Tucker almost dropped his fork. “I… How do you know that?” He’d never told anyone. Not Devyn. Not Ally. He’d barely even thought it in his mind. There was a reason he’d not tried to have a girlfriend in forever. It never worked. How could it? They weren’t the girl he was in love with.

“I know you.” Devyn set his fork down in his bowl. “I knew when you got those stupid ballet tickets and tried to pass them off that
I’d
gone to all that trouble.” He gave another roll of his eyes.

Their senior year a ballet troupe had been performing in DC. Close enough for them to attend. But Ally hadn’t had the money to get tickets, much less travel. Tucker had worked like a dog to get the money. And they’d been sold out. He’d had to go to some great lengths on computers to find tickets that had tripled in cost. After that was straight, there had been a festival going on that had hotel rooms sold out. It had cost money that he hadn’t had at the time, but he’d finally gotten the tickets and the hotel room and had surprised Ally. Her smile had been enough to blind them. And that’s when he’d known he needed to keep making this woman happy. He’d known his feelings for her had grown beyond friendship. He’d denied it. Tried other women. But he always kept coming back to Ally

“Why haven’t you told her?” Devyn picked his fork up again and continued to eat. “And if you aren’t eating, let me have some Caesar dressing.”

Tucker handed it over, keeping one cup of it for himself though he wasn’t sure he’d use it. “It hasn’t come up.”

Devyn snorted, sounding much like an animal that would eat this tripe. “In nine years since you first slept with her, it hasn’t come up?”

Had it been that long? It felt like just yesterday they’d been kids with degrees. “I’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, avoiding telling the woman how you feel.” He didn’t snort again, but the tone was still there.

There was some truth to that. Not to mention, as long as things were going well between them, he hadn’t had to because they’d already been together. Just not together together in a boyfriend/girlfriend capacity.

“Why haven’t you told her?” Devyn set about eating the rest of his salad. “You’ve been in love with her for years and never bothered to tell her.”

“I didn’t want to lose what we had. She’s my best friend. I love…sex with her. It’s like an adventure.” Like this morning. She always got him going. His cock perked up, hardening in an instant. That was always the way it was with Ally. He didn’t take much to get horny.