Dear Sylvia (8 page)

So he is fixing up Lorne's old car in the back yard and will sell it for money if he can get it to go somewhere.

Anyway I can't practice the bagpipes since I'd have to go out to do it. And I know your big meat is coming up and I wish I could go and play the Lad's Lamant but I don't see how.

Owen

Deer Sylvia,

Now I owe Mr. Morton $122.37. It was all because of all those spelling tests with no dictionaries and then he charged me interest which I couldn't do in my head because I moved the decimal the wrong way. So now I have to do an extra project in front of the hole class.

I have been thinking of making a scale model reproduction of
Crackatoea
Krakatoa, which was the biggest explosion in the history of volcanoes. I could do a
papyay
machay
paper and glue mountain and paint it red and purple for the lava and have the ocean blue all around and light a candle inside to boil some water for the steam. And I could glue on some twigs and sticks for all the trees that were flattened.

Andy did a model of Krakatoa for his project when he had Mr. Morton but his didn't have trees like mine will. And Andy got $158 for his Krakatoa so if mine is even better then maybe I can get way out of debt.

Andy's model was in the old house that was bulldozed today. I was in school but Dad and Uncle Lorne and some other Enshurince men went into the house and got out everything that wasn't
rooined
ruined. But they didn't get Krakatoa!

That's all right. I have my own good ideas for it.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

I just found out I have been spelling DEER wrong all along! It came out on another one of Mr. Morton's offal spelling tests!

So now I know you will look at these letters and think what an idiot I am!

So I can't give the letters to you. Even if I go and correct every one you will see all the scratch outs. I should just put them out in the trash along with my Krakatoa project which caught fire in front of everybody and so Mr. Morton had to break out the extinguisher and his hole desk got swallowed in this smelly white foam that made everybody laugh so hard I lost $100 more.

I am going to be poor the rest of my life.

Andy's Krakatoa didn't catch fire.

And I worked really hard on mine too.

So I am sorry for wasting all your time by writing these letters you won't read anyway because I am so stupid.

Goodbye.
Owen

Dear Sylvia,

Today is September the 27th and you are at your big meat.

Later I will dig a hole behind the swing set in the back yard and bury the box with your letters.

I know they are yours but they are full of stupid mistakes and I don't want you to think of me that way.

Anyway you are not going to think of me so it doesn't matter.

I hope you have a good meat. I'm sorry that I won't see you dancing because I like the red that comes all over your cheeks and face and how bright your blue eyes get.

Love,
Owen

Dear Sylvia,

And so now I can't even dig a hole right. I was in the middle of it and Dad came out and said Owen what are you doing?

I tried to tell him something but couldn't think of it and anyway he saw the box and said what's that and then I had to tell him. Which I did. Everything too because he kept asking more questions.

He said — Owen you need to give Sylvia those letters!

I said — it's better if I don't!

He said — women like it when you make a big thing of love. He said — take Sylvia flowers and give her the box!

So I said — does Mom still hate you because you are in love with the waitress who looks like Rebecca?

I don't know why I said that. He got all glumpy in the face then and couldn't even answer and it was like The Invisible Enshurince Man coming back in the mail all over again.

So I didn't bury the letters. I didn't want to make another mistake.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

We are getting a new house! In Elgin! Or at least it's 1/2 a house because other people live on top and we are on the bottom. I haven't seen it yet but that's what Dad said.

Here's what happened.

We were all having dinner in the dining room at the big table with all the leafs in it like Christmas but it was just
spaggettey
spuggetty
noodles which Leonard sometimes slurps up his nose especially when Sadie is looking but she wasn't only he did it anyway.

And Dad said Leonard don't do that!

So we all looked at Leonard and Eleanor spat her milk onto the table in disgust and said she wanted to be part of another family. Then everyone was talking all at once and Dad said EXCUSE ME! in his big voice that he learned in the army.

So we shut up.

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! Dad said.

And he stood up. He looked over at Mom who had a big mouth full of
spiggettey
noodles.

Dad started singing! In Italian! I don't know what it was but it was loud and he closed his eyes and put his hands over his heart and even kept singing when she poked him with a fork.

Just in the shoulder.

AY YAI YO EEE YO DEE CHHEE! he sang.

And Mom was laughing and red as roses.

And then he got real flowers from the front hallway and gave them to her and they kissed right in front of everybody and he said he had found us a house in Elgin right close to Mom's hotel.

He meant the 1/2 a house.

That's how it happened.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

We looked at the old house today which is just a big hole in the ground with a lot of broken mud on it and the apple tree looking all alone and pretty small. You could run around the spot in just a few seconds and it sure didn't look big as a house any more.

It was hard to imagine we all used to fit in there.

Leonard said he was going to miss the bull's field and the woods and the river and the haunted house and all the other places.

And we all started feeling bad and Mom was crying. Andy said why don't we build another house just like our old one and we could have our bedroom up in the attic again and listen to the rain on the roof and Dad could have his office back and write another book.

But I said — I want to see the house in Elgin.

Mom said — we were lucky this place didn't fall on us years ago.

And Dad said — you'll like the new place.

So we got in the car and went to see it. It doesn't have any old garage or apple tree and it's right on Raven Street with stores along it. The front porch is all closed in which is where Sylvester stays. He can't just go running free like before.

Andy has his own room! So Leonard and I will share but not the same bed any more.

When we were walking around the new house I kept thinking Sylvia lives in Elgin. I think probably if I took my bike I could find your house.

Do you know how it is when your body feels thin as
papay
mashay
paper and glue with a little candle burning inside and how trembly everything is when even your breathing is giggly?

I kept thinking I might see you just in the next room or the next.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

Dad has a new job!

He is going to fix everything at Mom's hotel even before it might be broken. So now they are going to walk together to the hotel in the morning and then back home for lunch every day and then back to the hotel and then back home. Every day!

The new house has strange sounds that come out at night. Mr. Colsen who lives upstairs plays his tuba to his cat after midnight with the TV on and the cat doesn't like it. And something drips in the walls like maybe it's Giant Foam getting ready to gurgle out of the light switch. And the blinking red light from Tipcott's
Vaccuoom
vacuum cleaner parts and service leaks through the curtain just when you just want it to be dark and still.

And it smells like fried chicken from the restaurant on the other side.

That's why I can't sleep.

I am worried too because tomorrow I am going to Elgin Public School and what is going to happen when I walk in the classroom and you look up from your desk?

I don't know why I am afraid but I am. Because I haven't seen you since Scottish dancing. And probably I am going to think about too many stupid things like how you looked at me when I couldn't do the Paw Debask or even walk right when I was holding your hand.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

Where are you?

I walked into Mrs. Kingswell's class at the Elgin Public School and looked around and looked around and looked.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

I didn't see you but in the playground I did see Danny Bainman. When he saw me I could tell he had no idea it was me at all and he did not say anything. So that is the kind of boy Danny Bainman is but maybe you know that already.

But maybe you don't know that either because where are you anyway?

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

Mrs. Kingswell is making me copy out all my spelling mistakes 50 times each!

So I am copying and copying forever. We have dictionaries in the class but they are way over on the shelf and you are not allowed to get up.

We had dinner last night back at Uncle Lorne and Ant Lorraine's house just because the new house is so small and quiet with just us. And Sadie said right at the table in front of the pot roast — so Owen how is Sylvia?

Then everyone wanted to know.

And I said I didn't know because you are not in my class and maybe even not in my school and maybe you are gone from Elgin!

Didn't you ask about her? — said Eleanor.

And I said I don't know anybody and I might as well be Invisible because no one talks to me!

So Dad said — Owen! You must go to Sylvia's house and do something big!

I said — I don't want to talk about it!

Dad said — Owen has been writing letters to Sylvia for months and months! He has a big box full of them!

And Andy said — we know! That's all he does is write to Sylvia like it's some big secret!

And I said — let's just eat pot roast.

And he never sends the letters! — Leonard said.

And Uncle Lorne said — what about the bagpipes? You could play the Lad's Lamant outside her window!

And then give her the letters! — Leonard said.

They all talked about it and made a big plan and I said — no no no! That is not how I want to do it!

So Sadie said — well Owen how do you want to do it?

By myself!

And that's when I ran away.

Sometimes when your family is around it's like you tripped in the mud and can't escape no matter which way you try to crawl out.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

Last night I took my bike and rode around and around all over Elgin until finally I made it to Riverside Place and then to 1837. I had the bagpipes which Uncle Lorne said I must bring.

I thought once I was there it would be easy to cross the street and then go up the walk and to the door. I have done it before.

But my bike had a hard time crossing the street.

So I thought I can just play the bagpipes here. They are loud enough and if Sylvia is home she will come out and maybe even dance a bit to the Lad's Lamant which I know pretty well now or at least a little bit.

And if somebody came along I would just be a boy on the other side of the street playing the bagpipes like anyone else.

So I got them out.

I started to blow and the drones hummed a bit but then I let go of the cat and anyway I had a hard time breathing all along your street.

The lights were on in your house and I thought what if you come out now?

So I put the pipes away and got on my bike and decided to just ride around a bit more and so I went home again.

It's an offal thing to be a coward.

Owen

Dear Sylvia,

I was in my room reading the dictionary and Mom said — Owen! Uncle Lorne is here! You can give him back the bagpipes!

So I yelled — they're in the closet by the front door!

So then she came with her heavy feet and said — he was kind enough to lend you his very expensive pipes. The least you could do is return them yourself and thank him profusely!

So I got up and went to the closet and got the bagpipes and gave them to Uncle Lorne and I said — thank you profusely!

Which means a lot.

He said — how did it go with Sylvia?

I said I had a lot of spelling I needed to study.

He said — did she like the Lad's Lamant?

Mom was right there listening and Leonard and Andy were ear wrestling just on the chesterfield and I said — there's a hole lot I still need to learn.

Did she dance to it? — he asked.

I went back to my bed and closed my eyes and thought about rocketing myself to a distant galaxy.

Uncle Lorne came in the room. He shut the door and so I told him about it. I told him how the air on the street got a lot thicker when I was standing outside your house and how could I play anything?

Uncle Lorne said — a piper plays no matter what the air. He said — a piper plays when it's raining wind and the gales are ripping at your coat and you are standing in battle just yards away from the enemy with swords drawn and canons booming. A piper plays when it is thirty below and a little boy has drowned and you are all standing at the grave with tears freezing to your face but the piper still plays.

A piper plays — he said.

He said he wouldn't have taught me if he thought I would just give up at the first sign of heavy air. He said he didn't think I was that kind of man. He said I could just take up the piano or the violin or something easy if I was that kind.

But a piper plays.

So that is why I went back to your house even though it was after midnight and if Dad caught me out again like that he would send me to jail.

I just went alone.