Dearly Departed (15 page)

Silently in my mind I asked him if this was the case, and he nodded. He explained he didn’t have the courage to tell his mother, least anyone else in the family. ‘They were so religious, how would they be able to cope with this as well as my depression?’ he said.

He felt his only option was to take his life, believing this would release him from the demons that haunted him. True, that day I was the psychic medium bringing the message from a loved one to someone dear, but as a mother, my heart went out to Ruby. With many years of experience in this field, nothing shocks me and I have learnt to be compassionate and non-judgemental. So when I receive revelations and knowledge that would be very confronting to the client, I go ‘softly, softly’—my approach is calm, hopefully soothing and gentle, thereby explaining in simple terms what has been revealed by Spirit.

I indicated to Ruby what the gentleman had indicated to me— the confusion that existed around his sexuality. He explained that since his arrival on the other side it had not been ‘all beer and skittles’—it’s been very hard work. What he thought would be peaceful and a state of bliss in fact had been like going back to school.

‘Nan kissed me when I arrived, then turned her back and waved goodbye, saying as she left that I had many lessons to learn while here in the afterlife—I had been a naughty boy! And this time around I would definitely learn the consequences of my actions. Then I was given a flashback to my death and how it greatly affected everyone. Mum, I am just so sorry, I didn’t realise the pain I would inflict on you—please forgive me.’

With that, Jacob disappeared. Ruby had lost all the colour in her face.

‘Ruby, did you know that young man?’

‘No, I don’t Georgina. My son was murdered. Here, I’ll show you a photo of him.’ She pulled out of her bag a rather large portrait taken in black and white, of her son, Jacob.

‘Why, Ruby this was the man standing behind you. He was not murdered, he killed himself.’

Ruby burst into tears. ‘Oh Georgina, if the church knew that, they would never have given him the burial he deserved. I just didn’t want to believe he would take his own life. I didn’t want friends and family to think he did that—I was ashamed. Growing up, I remember the church had said if anyone commits suicide it was a mortal sin and those who committed such a sin can’t be buried in consecrated ground. I couldn’t have that for Jacob, my beautiful son. I feel so guilty, so helpless—I should have done more.

‘Yes, you’re right, he was depressed. He was on very strong medication from the local general practitioner, but the mood swings were getting greater. He had an appointment to see a psychiatrist the day he died. They discovered his body lying on rocks at the base of a seaside tourist lookout. Georgina—does he have enough clothes to wear? I was so concerned that he’d be cold, as the only clothes he had on were wet when they found his body on the rocks.’

I gently explained that the body we bury or cremate does not have its spirit or the vital force intact. It pulls away like energy from the body to the ether to move towards another realm—some call this heaven, some say the afterlife.

‘Ruby, it’s very much like shedding your own clothes, the spirit sheds the physical body, so please don’t fret about Jacob not having enough clothes. From what I observed of him standing behind you with the priest’s collar on, he looked well kept and neat, with his hair combed.’

She seemed relieved, as though the weight of guilt had been taken off her shoulders.

‘Ruby, there’s one thing I don’t understand—what’s the significance of the priest’s collar?’

‘Jacob always wanted to be a missionary, a man of the cloth.

It was something he had only shared with me—I guess it was his way of proving he was here today with me. I’m sorry I didn’t acknowledge it was him when you first asked me. Just the thought of him actually killing himself—I guess you could say I’ve been in a state of denial.’

I jotted down some contacts for Ruby to make, to assist her through her grief process, and escorted her to the door. She still had tears in her eyes, and she turned to me and touched my hand.

‘Thank you Georgina, I feel a sense of some peace. I don’t think I will ever recover from Jacob’s tragedy; however, I feel today something clicked inside me. I feel I can now put things in place in my head. Maybe tomorrow I can be more confident and tell the family the truth—thank you again.’

21
Pain of those left behind Pain of those left behind

In the midst of despair or pain, you may be convinced that no one has ever felt this way before. Yet there is no pain you can experience that has not been experienced before by another in a different time or place. Our emotional world is universal.

Christina Feldman

L
osing a child through suicide presents its own dilemma—it brings to their loved ones a mixture of confusion, guilt, shame and a deep despair. Some believe through their religious or cultural training that their loved ones may be lost in damnation, perhaps to linger in purgatory or hell. Many parents and loved ones hold onto the guilt that they should have known or been aware of the thoughts and actions of their dearly departed. Perhaps then they could have done something to stop the suicide from occurring.

The Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia says that:

More people—about 2500 people each year—die in Australia from suicide than from road accidents. It is estimated that for every suicide there are some 30 other attempts. Among young people, suicide is second only to road accidents as the leading cause of death. Each suicide involves a complex interaction of factors, and no single determinant is necessary or sufficient for it to occur.

Many of those who take their own lives have been suffering from a mental illness or a chemical imbalance. In our society there is enormous pressure to fit in. Many find solace in alcohol and drugs. For others, what triggers their suicidal intent can be the loss of a partner, severe conflict in one’s life, unemployment, family breakups, and for some a history of childhood abuse. For many families the question will remain—why? Just like Ruby, sometimes the answer to this question is revealed in a consultation with a psychic medium.

Ben’s answer

Switching on the radio to listen to Kyle and Jackie O, Ben just caught the start of ‘Dearly Departed’, and he was taken aback with the relevance and accuracy of the information being given to the listener from the deceased. As some listeners do, he became very emotional—the session was broken with an ad break, and a song played and tears rolled down his face. He was unable to continue driving, and pulled over to the side of the freeway. He sat in silence as he listened to the words of the Christina Aguilera song ‘Beautiful’.

The words spoke to him, bringing great significance and meaning as this was the song played at his ex-girlfriend’s funeral a month ago. Ben had been indeed struggling, blaming himself for her suicide. He felt that hearing the ‘Dearly Departed’ segment followed immediately by the song was a sign. He hadn’t known where to turn, where to go, who to talk to, or why he felt so guilty—and maybe I was just the person who had the answers for him.

All I knew when Ben booked the session via email was that he required a Dearly Departed session. Ben was drop-dead gorgeous— tall, with an olive complexion and such a warm, gentle spirit emanating from his soul. My new reading room’s colour theme is red—it’s grounding and colourful, and often takes many by surprise as they believe all psychics have everything purple! He commented how lively it felt, he liked the colour.

Ben took the seat to the right side of my round table, and I sat to the left. My small table is covered with an assortment of objects that are dear to me—some unusual, beautiful crystals, for energy, that I have collected from all parts of the world on my travels, two red candles in angel candlestick holders and my mum’s old crystal ball (only for effect—I don’t use it). I asked Ben for the name of the deceased, the age at death and how long they’d been gone—that’s all. For me, having this information is like having a telephone number to call someone to have a conversation— somehow I am able to connect to the other side with these small fragments of information.

‘I also have a photo of Natalie, would that help?’ Ben asked.

‘Sure—I’ll place it in front of me,’ I replied. She was equally as attractive as the man sitting opposite me. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer asking that I be able to bring information forward to benefit both parties, Ben and Natalie, when suddenly I started to choke. I remember grabbing my throat, as it was cutting off my air supply—I couldn’t breathe.

I have discovered over the years, that for me, the deceased will role-play in my body how they passed. I am not always able to accurately claim how I know the person passed, but in suicides usually the effect is most evident. I could smell a strong odour of alcohol. I then saw a garage and what appeared to be a young woman hanging from the eaves. I remember seeing a teddy bear.

Much of the reading I can’t recall, as I speak rapidly and do not retain much of what I’m given. I was shown that this young woman suffered from a personality disorder—I felt strongly that she was bipolar, and that it ran in her family, on her father’s side. She was a heavy drinker, and she drank to mask her depression. Finally, when the timer went off, I opened my eyes. I had heard Ben sobbing during the session, but powered on. Now I came face to face with his suffering.

Yes, Natalie had committed suicide in the garage, she had been drinking excessively before and she did have the habit of drowning her sorrows in alcohol. The teddy bear Ben had given her as a gift in their courtship, and on the day she killed herself she had placed it on the front door of his house. Ben was feeling responsible for her death—if only he hadn’t broken up with her, maybe she’d be alive today.

As we explored the reading, she gave messages, declaring she had been diagnosed a manic depressive, but never told anyone, refusing to take the medication prescribed by her physician and preferring to drink the bad feelings away. There were special messages for her parents, and some personal details for Ben to reflect on and some hope of a new love she was sending for him— a replacement that would give him love and happiness to come.

Then I noticed a small smile on his face.

‘You know, Georgina, speaking to you I’m starting to realise that Nat did have a problem. I broke off the relationship because of her drinking—I never did realise or understood she drank because she was sad. Everyone knew she was a drama queen. My God! It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t kill her.’

I could sense a release of healing was starting to wash over Ben—perhaps now he could live with the knowledge that although he may have triggered an emotional episode in Natalie’s life, in fact this young woman had a number of mental health issues. As I opened the door to let Ben leave my apartment, he asked, ‘Can I give you a hug?’

‘I’d love that!’ His tall frame leant down and gave me the biggest bear hug—and I knew he would make it.

22
Spiritual school Spiritual school

Why do we fall? To learn how to pick ourselves up.

Alfred Pennyworth

‘L
ife is a school’ so they say, and Jacob soon learnt when he entered the heavenly realms that there was no easy path.

All his lives—past, present and to come—were learning fields. What he didn’t learn this time he would need to work through in the next life. Heaven is not a laidback holiday resort where harps are being played and you gain your wings on admission—it is a spiritual process, in fact, a spiritual school where you earn the right to move forward as you come to understand the circumstances of your past.

Already, Jacob had been shown his death and how it had affected those nearest and dearest to him, to help him comprehend the impact of his actions on his loved ones. I sense Jacob’s entry into the spiritual school system would start with ‘healing school’, where he would be taught skills by the finest spiritual masters and teachers, gaining insight and revelations about his soul’s journey. From there he would graduate into a higher learning field, much like what happens on earth—a tiered school system such as infants, primary, high school, tertiary—and eventually return once again in another form to continue on his karmic path of his soul’s development. It may take Jacob years to work through these processes, while others may undergo this phase quite quickly.

What can you do?

When you lose that special person to suicide, hopelessness overwhelms your everyday existence. Your love for them doesn’t change—after all love never dies—so open your heart to still continue to send them love. See a mental picture in your mind, or perhaps hold a photo of them as you pray, and they will feel your energies and vibrations—nothing is ever wasted, no thought, deed or prayer. Tell them you forgive them, do not hold grudges or anger—send peaceful thoughts.

You may choose to set aside a quiet time in the morning, evening or weekend, a time when you’re not rushed, when you can concentrate and pray for them. You may consider lighting a candle in their honour, as a ritual; a practical way of honouring their life. Forgiveness is divine, and as you work through this process, know that your dearly departed will hear your prayers and receive your love, allowing their healing to move forward, and in doing so they will be happier and more fulfilled in the afterlife.

In the case of murder

I am blessed with a profession that is flexible enough to combine both working opportunities and pleasure activities. So when I was invited to be a guest presenter at London’s Mind, Body and Spirit Festival, I jumped at the offer!

Off went the emails to my friends, informing them of my impending trip. The next morning there was an email reply from Alison, my dear friend. ‘Georgina, you always stay with me in London when you visit—please come, the apartment is yours!

Unfortunately, I’ll be in the Middle East on a work assignment, but I’ll leave the key with the concierge. You know the drill—just enjoy the trip!’

I quickly responded, thanking her for the generous offer.