Debra Webb - In His Touch Box Set (Here To Stay, Up Close, Tempting Trace, Basic Instincts) (65 page)

“Because you’re a hardheaded jerk and I’m about to save you from yourself,” Dan told him bluntly.

Jake swiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and relented. “All right. Get it over with so you can go away and leave me the hell alone.” But he didn’t really want to hear this now. In fact, he’d had a whole speech planned for when he confronted Merri. He intended to give her hell about her deliberate deception and the way she’d used him. He’d planned to tell her exactly what he thought about it all. But he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t say hurtful things to her. He loved her too much.

But she couldn’t feel anything for him. Otherwise she would never have lied to him by omission, led him to believe she felt something. Jake swore at his own trustfulness. Who would have thought that he could be such a fool?

“She was desperate. The phenomenal popularity of her first book turned her world upside down. And she didn’t know how else to research her next book, except to get out there on the dating scene herself.” Dan patted the perspiration on his balding head. “Shelley talked her into coming to stay in Atlanta for a couple of weeks. The disguise was Shelley’s idea.”

“So she says,” Jake countered.

Dan shook his head. “Actually, Shelley told me she blames herself for pushing Merri into the scam. Can’t you see she didn’t really want to do it? Didn’t you see the signs?”

Jake scowled. He’d only met Shelley once. She seemed like the impulsive type. Flamboyant. He supposed she could dream up a scheme like this easily enough. And he had seen Merri’s reluctance, more than once. But that still didn’t make it right.

“Anyway,” Dan continued. “Merri met you on her first night out. And something just clicked. Hey, she even tried to find someone else to prove that what she felt with you wasn’t anything unique.”

Jealousy assailed Jake, making his gut clench. He gritted his teeth to hold back bitter curses at the thought of Merri with another man.

Dan smiled, recognizing the emotion on his friend’s face. “But no one else made her feel the way you did.” His expression grew somber then. “She said as soon as she realized things were getting too serious, she tried to back off but she just couldn’t do it.”

Jake remembered the numerous times he’d tried to call Merri and she’d been out, or wouldn’t answer the phone. Maybe she had tried to avoid him. That was still no excuse for not telling the truth.

“The thought of losing you scared her badly. She was afraid to tell you, for fear of precisely what did happen,” Dan concluded solemnly.

“You sound like an afternoon talk show host,” Jake said crossly. “And what about that Nigel guy? He looked like he knew her well. Too well.”

Dan nodded knowingly. “He’s just one more person pressuring Merri to get her second book completed. Nigel is her agent. He only dropped by to find out where she was and how the new book was going.”

Jake felt a flicker of sympathy, which he ignored. What she’d done was still wrong. He tamped down the emotion rising in his chest. If he’d thought he didn’t know her before, he was certain of it now. What on earth would a New York psychologist have in common with a construction company owner? So what if the sex had been great... okay, better than great. So what if they couldn’t stay away from each other. The reality was that they were essentially strangers, even after all that had happened.

“You can’t let her go,” Dan urged. “If you don’t patch this up, we’ll never convince Landry we’re not gay.”

Jake rolled his eyes. He was in no mood for humor.

“She loves you, Jake. She really does.”

“Did she tell you that she loves me?”

“Well.” Dan started backpedaling then. “She didn’t exactly say the words. But I know what I saw in her eyes. The way she talked about you, like you were some kind of god. Trust me, Jake, the woman’s got it bad for you. She’s just afraid that you won’t forgive her.”

Jake squashed the rush of feelings that threatened to weaken his defenses. “She’s right. I won’t.”

~*~

“You’re sure this is what you want to do?”

Meredith turned away from her friend so she couldn’t see the truth in her eyes. “Yes. It’s for the best.”

“That’s absolute crap,” Shelley retorted.

Meredith blinked, taken aback. “Look, Shelley, this is difficult enough without you turning on me, too.”

Shelley planted her hands on her hips and glared impatiently. “
You
look. How often does this kind of head-over-heels love come along?” She shook a finger at Meredith. “I’ll tell you—maybe once in a dozen lifetimes. You just can’t walk away from Jake and what you found together.”

Meredith sighed and adjusted the purse strap on her shoulder. “I’m not just walking away; he doesn’t want to see me again. I hurt him and he isn’t going to forgive me for it.” She struggled to hold back her brimming tears. “He thinks I used him, and I did. He isn’t interested in working things out. It’s over,” she concluded, her voice sinking with her heart.

“Arrgh!” Shelley stamped her foot. “You are so out of touch with what’s real. How on earth do you ever counsel people about relationships?”

The remark stung. “It’s different when I’m analyzing someone else’s life. I have to be objective, not emotionally involved,” she said defensively. “This isn’t the same thing, Shelley. I’m as out of touch with my own needs as the next single female.”

Shelley lifted her hands in a gesture of surrender. “You’re right, I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.” She studied Meredith for a long moment. “It’s just that I can see how in love the two of you are with each other. You have to give it at least one more try. Isn’t Jake worth the effort? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering if things could have turned out differently had you tried just a little harder?”

“I have to go.” Meredith gave her friend a hug and then grabbed her bags. “I’ll miss my flight otherwise.”

Shelley sighed in defeat. “Well, at least let me drive you to the airport.”

Meredith shook her head. “You’ve done too much for me already. Besides, you have an audition.” She managed a smile for her dear friend. “Go break a leg or something.”

Shelley rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Or something,” she teased.

Ten minutes later, Meredith was seated in the backseat of a taxi, her luggage stored in the trunk. She closed her eyes and fought the renewed urge to cry. She was doing the right thing. Jake would be happier with someone else. Someone who wouldn’t spend most of their time deceiving him. Her eyes drifted open and she stared out at the passing landscape. But Meredith knew with certainty that she would never, ever be able to forget Jake. She loved him too much.

She smiled as memories of the time she and Jake had shared played through her mind. Their first meeting, the intensity of the attraction. She almost laughed as she recalled the accidental meeting in the lingerie shop. And then Dan’s birthday party. The fierce but tender way Jake had made love to her that night. Then the nerve-wracking, yet exciting ride to the hospital. Her heart almost broke as she remembered what happened next. Sharing the birth of little Danielle. The awe in Jake’s eyes as he’d stared down at the newborn. Fainting away at being designated the baby’s godfather.

She felt a little dizzy remembering their lovemaking in Jake’s big bed. His gentle passion, when she had known it was all he could do to hold back. His complete selflessness when it came to sharing with the people he cared about.

Jake was one in a million... but she’d lost him, because of her own selfish needs, and fear of losing him. If she’d just told him the truth the night they’d made love, maybe things would have turned out differently. But she hadn’t. She allowed the deception to continue, to destroy his trust. And now it was over.

Isn’t Jake worth one more try? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering if things could have turned out differently?

Shelley’s sensible words echoed through Meredith’s head. Her heart fluttered, then pounded. Was she going to let pride stand in the way of giving their relationship one last shot at survival?

“Excuse me, driver,” Meredith said in a rush before she lost her nerve. “I need you to turn around.” She jerked out her cell phone and called Dan to find out if he knew where Jake might be.

“I thought you wanted to go to the airport, lady,” the cabby said, confused.

She smiled at him, her lips trembling with the effort to be brave. “There’s something else I have to do first.”

~*~

Meredith gave the cabby a huge tip and asked him to wait. She opened the door and stepped out into the early evening heat. The sun hovered just above the treetops and the temperature was still smoldering. She quickly surveyed the dozen or so newly constructed houses until she found the one Dan had described.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith strode across the not-yet-landscaped yard and paused at the steps leading to the porch. What if Jake rejected her again? What if nothing she could say would ever change his mind?

Pushing away the questions and firming her resolve, Meredith climbed the steps and crossed the narrow porch. The door was wide open, as were the windows, most likely to allow the humid air to flow through. As she entered the unfinished interior, music drifted to her ears, accompanied by the insistent pounding of a hammer. She followed the racket until she found Jake. A small battery-operated radio sat on the floor in one corner of the large room, Jake had his back to her, his attention focused on driving yet another nail into a board.

Desire overwhelmed her at the sight of him. He’d taken off his shirt, displaying those mile-wide shoulders along with the rest of that awesome torso. Sweat glistened on his tanned skin. Worn, ragged work jeans hugged his well-shaped buttocks and long, lean legs. Meredith licked her lips and tried to swallow, but her throat had gone as dry as the dusty plywood beneath her feet.

Mesmerized, she simply watched for a time as he reached and bent and swung the hammer, muscles flexing and bunching in a way that made her pulse trip. His dark hair was tousled and slightly damp from his exertion in the oppressive heat. And Meredith longed to wipe away the sweat she knew had most likely beaded on his brow. Her pulse fluttered. This was the man she loved. The strong, giving, caring man who had stolen her heart.

“Jake,” she said at last, knowing she could not wait another single second without looking into those deep, dark eyes.

He slowly turned around at the sound of Merri’s voice. When his gaze lit on her, his whole body reacted. He ached to run to her and take her into his arms. The look of uncertainty in her blue eyes made him want to hold her until it went away. The blond hair that made her look so angelic spilled over her shoulders, begging to be touched. The conservative button-up dress was longer than what he was accustomed to seeing Merri wear, but she still looked like a long, cool drink to a man dying of thirst.

“Merri,” he said in response to her tentative greeting. The knowledge that it wasn’t even her name and the fact that he didn’t even really know her hit him all over again. He loved her so much, wanted her more than he wanted to take his next breath. But... what? Jake tried to shake off the crazy, mixed-up emotions that crushed in on him, but failed.

She moved closer. “I know you don’t want to hear any excuses or explanations, so I’m not going to offer you any.” Another few feet of dusty plywood disappeared between them. “I made a mistake. I set out to use you to help me understand the impulses that drive men and women to mate.”

He swept his damp hair back and cocked his head. “Is that your roundabout way of apologizing?”

Merri shook her head. “I’m not apologizing for what I did.” She moistened her lips and looked at him uncertainly. “But I am sorry for misleading you. You didn’t volunteer to be my guinea pig or even know my real identity and that was wrong.” She stood perfectly still in the middle of the room. “I won’t bore you with the struggles I fought with my own conscience for the past two weeks.”

Jake refused to hope for more. “Then why did you come here?” He tossed his hammer aside and gave her his undivided attention.

She took a deep breath, “I came here to tell you what I discovered during my, uh, fieldwork.”

He braced his hands at his waist. “I’m all ears.” He reminded himself that nothing she could say would change the fact that she had deceived him... lied to him.

She took another step in his direction, her gaze fixed firmly on his. “I discovered that chemistry is what first draws a man and woman together.” She shrugged. “Call it lust, plain and simple. But what takes them beyond that point is something much more profound. An inner connection that binds them heart and soul for however long they’re willing to allow that tie to hold them as one.”

“Sounds logical enough,” he said slowly and for a lack of anything else to say. He would not hope... not yet.

“People fall in and out of love every day. Chemistry—lust—is not enough. It takes hanging on to the tie that binds with both hands. Suzy and Dan have hung on and look at their love. Their new baby.”

Jake looked away as he thought of little Danielle, of watching her birth, and seeing the pride, joy and love shining in her parents’ eyes.

“I love you, Jake.”

His heart was hammering, but he looked at her steadily.

“I know we can’t fix things between us just like that. I know I made a mistake.” She blinked, her eyes bright with emotion. “But I’m willing to hang on with both hands if you are.”

“But you’re not who I thought you were,” he argued, more with himself than her.

“I know.” It pained her to say the words—he could see that on her face, hear it in her voice. “But inside I’m still Merri. The way we met was wrong but I’m glad we did. If I hadn’t taken that chance, we’d still be strangers.” She shook her head. “I love you, Jake. I love who you are and what you do. And if you’ll give our relationship another chance, I’ll prove to you that I’m exactly who you thought I was.”

He stiffened with the effort of holding back what he really wanted to say. “But your life is in New York. Mine is here.”

“I’m a writer. I can do what I do from anywhere,” she offered, hope replacing the hurt in her eyes. “I’ve decided to retire from my counseling practice.”