Deceiver's Bond: Book Two of A Clairvoyant's Complicated Life (42 page)

“You are a remarkable woman, Lire. I’ll not see you forced into a relationship against your will. Although, I’ll admit my motives aren’t entirely benevolent.”

I tried to recall what that meant. Did benevolent mean neutral? Or biased?

A crooked smile tweaked the corners of his mouth. “You should see your face.”

“Why?” I eyed him suspiciously. I probably looked a complete sight. I smoothed my wet, disorderly hair behind my ear and swiped a finger under my right eye, relieved to find my waterproof mascara was indeed waterproof. “What’s wrong with it?”

He grasped my right hand, putting a stop to my nervous gestures. “Absolutely nothing. It’s beautiful.” He released my hand in favor of tracing his fingertips along the line of my jaw. “
You’re
beautiful.”

Those words, combined with his tender expression and the unmasked heat in his eyes, pretty well bowled me over. Before I knew it, he slid his fingers through my hair to cup the back of my head and pulled me into his kiss. And not just any kiss. No. This kiss was slow and deliberate and intensely hot. In addition to momentarily stopping my breath, it completely scrambled all cohesive thought in my head for long minutes while I wholeheartedly reciprocated.

Oh, Lord.

I didn’t want to think. I reveled in the press of his lips, heat of his breath, and electric touch of his tongue as it explored my mouth, jaw, behind my ear. I gasped, jumping at the enticing feel of his teeth on the tender skin of my neck. God, those perfect teeth! Shivering, but not with cold, I slipped my fingers through his damp hair, over his face, and then forced his mouth back to mine. I devoured him, nipping at his lower lip, returning his fervent kisses with hungry ones of my own, pressing him into his seat until we were both breathless.

Whoa.
If I didn’t get myself together, I knew where we’d end up—in the back seat, sans clothing. The fact that I could feel the surety of his arousal beneath my left hip didn’t help my control.

Unsteady and breathing hard, I pushed myself away. “Holy crap,” I uttered, my voice thick enough to slather over a hot stack of waffles. “That was …” I rubbed my lips together, panting and trembling, and managed to sum it up with, “Unexpected.”

“But not unwelcome, I hope,” Kieran replied, running his hands over my arms.

If I hadn’t been paying attention, I might have missed the flash of doubt that momentarily disrupted his composed, albeit heated, expression. I traced my thumb along the edge of his lower lip and shook my head. “No. Not unwelcome. Just …” I blinked long, working to gather my wits, and then added, “Trying to make sense of this.”

“I should have asked permission before taking such liberties, but for better or worse, I seem to find myself on the edge of control when I’m this close to you.” He peered at me intently, allowing his hands to coast up to my biceps where he gave me a meaningful squeeze. “I want there to be no question about my intentions. I want to know you, Lire. I want to spend my time listening to you laugh and hearing your thoughts. It’s been many years since I’ve met anyone who’s intrigued me as much as you do and I’ll not allow another to take that opportunity away from me. I would have protected you regardless, but now I find I have other more selfish reasons to keep you safe.”

I couldn’t speak. Heck, I could hardly form intelligent thoughts. This gorgeous, honorable, dazzling creature wanted to know … me? I taxed his control? It probably said something major about the state of my ego, but I had a difficult time believing such a thing was possible. Invariably, my thoughts went back to Maeve and her utter perfection. Were all sidhe women as beautiful? If so, how could I even compete with that? But he seemed absolutely earnest and there was that whole sidhe honesty thing, so I couldn’t very well accuse him of disingenuous flattery.

Memories of Vince factored in, too. For the last month, I’d more or less considered him to be my boyfriend. Although, if I was honest, because of his ambivalence, probably less than more. Now, forty-eight hours after his abduction, I found myself wholly captivated by another man. Granted, referring to Kieran as ‘another man’ was almost laughable. He was a proud, complicated, perplexing male sidhe who turned my crank and distracted me in ways that left me dumbstruck and struggling to draw regular breaths.

He caressed my arm. “Talk to me. So many thoughts are crossing your face, filling your eyes. And you’re troubled. I can see that.”

I shook my head. “Kieran … all of this, it’s …” I sighed. “It’s too much. You have me so confused and flustered, and with everything else that’s going on, I can hardly think straight.”

“Then, first things first.” He touched the tips of his fingers to the underside of my chin, forcing me to hold his gaze. “Tell me this: Am I requited? Or has wishful thinking betrayed me?”

“Yes. I mean, no. I mean—” I grunted, grasping his outstretched hand and pulling it away from my face. “You drive me crazy. You know that? Completely nuts. I can hardly say a word to you without sounding like an absolute dork. And what can I possibly offer you? You’re a twenty-seven-hundred-year-old, sophisticated, utterly captivating being and I’m just … me. Imperfectly
human
, with a human lifespan. How can that work? And you can’t stay here. Eventually, you’ll go back home and I’ll be—”

Left here. Alone and heartbroken.

I levitated myself out of his lap, back into the driver’s seat. Gripping the steering wheel and closing my eyes, I said, “No. Wishful thinking hasn’t betrayed you, but that doesn’t mean it should be anything more than just that.
Wishful
.”

More like impossible.

Without allowing him a response, I buckled my seatbelt, jammed the car into reverse, and focused on driving us home without getting into an accident.

Kim and Jackie were with Daniel and Michael when we made it back to my building. Based upon the speed in which the apartment door had been flung open and their relieved expressions, the four of them had been waiting anxiously for news of our return. Still soggy, Kieran and I hovered in the doorway just long enough to ensure them we were fine and break the news to Kim and Jackie that their house had burned down. I almost burst into tears at Kim’s pitiful sobs.

Jackie pulled Kim into her arms. Over the blonde woman’s bowed head, Jackie said quietly, “Go on. Get changed. We’re not going anywhere,” and then led Kim back into Jerome and Peter’s apartment.

Shoulders wilting, I opened my front door and Kieran followed me inside. After dropping my waterlogged purse next to the couch so that Red could climb out, I made my way back to the stairs, aiming for my bathroom, intent on a long hot shower. Although our conversation in the car (among other things) had driven away my chattering, I remained chilled. And I needed time to think.

“Now that I’ve kissed you, are we no longer friends who speak to each other?” Kieran asked, still standing near my front entry, as if unsure of his welcome.

I stopped, one hand resting on my staircase’s finial. “Kieran …” I managed to utter just his name before running out of steam. I ran my fingers through my damp hair, turning to look at him. “I’m sorry. I’m just …” I shook my head and sighed. “Of course we’re friends.”

He stepped closer but remained outside touching range, probably not wanting to spook me. “And friends talk, do they not? Because much has been left unsaid, things I must be allowed to address, regardless of whether you wish to continue that friendship.”

A jolt went through me.

What the—?
Oh, no, no, no. That was
not
a pang of regret at the thought of him leaving. I couldn’t possibly feel a pang of …
anything
. I’d known him for what? Two days? Although, admittedly, we’d spent more time together in those forty-eight hours than some couples spent in an entire month of dating. I knew from experience that living through life threatening situations magnified whatever feelings I might have otherwise deemed wise to bury.

“I will not be returning home,” he said. “From the moment Maeve gave her order, I knew that I would never go back.”

“Because of me. Because you wouldn’t—won’t—force me.”

“It has nothing to do with you, or didn’t.” His eyes flashed determination. “My feelings have long been known.”

“She knew you’d defy her order. She set you up. She wants you to be exiled. That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“But why?”

His jaw seemed to work it over before he replied, “I suppose because I no longer say the things she wants to hear.”

“Kieran …” I searched his face, shaking my head. There had to be something we could do.

“You mustn’t concern yourself. This isn’t your problem.”

“How can you say that? Of course it’s my problem. She’s sending someone to rape me, to take me against my will. Someone you, Kim, and Brassal don’t like one bit. And she’s hoping that you’ll do something irrevocable so that you’ll be permanently exiled. You honestly think I wouldn’t have a problem with that?”

“Stop.” He stepped close enough now to touch me but didn’t. He gazed down on me, expression intent. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I had the opportunity to return, I’d not do so. Of course, I’ll need to find a way to support myself, but that won’t prove problematic. I’ve done it before. It isn’t quite so difficult for me to live here—as you seem to imagine.”

“Really. That’s news to me. What about all this business of it being easier to tolerate when you’re close to me or the telepaths?”

“That is true,” he admitted. “Even so, it is not impossible for me to survive without that contact.”

“It just wouldn’t be pleasant.”

He remained silent.

God, he was beautiful. I clamped down on the thought before I did something stupid, like throw myself into his arms and kiss him senseless.

He reached out to caress my cheek. “And as to my age and your worth, I would say it is by virtue of my age that I can see the true value of the woman who stands before me. Maeve sought to punish me, but instead she accomplished the opposite.”

Kieran seemed to have the knack for leaving me stunned, my mouth hanging open. But honestly, when he said those kinds of things, what was there to do, except melt?

“I would kiss you, Lire.” He brushed his index finger over my lips, prompting a shiver to run through me. “If you will allow it.”

His touch tantalized me, heated me, thrilled me right down to the ground, and yet … the decision hovered between us, settling on me. This was my choice, to open my heart or not. To trust him, or not. To take things slow, or not. At this moment, it was all up to me, but I harbored more than just the worry he’d return to the Otherworld or that I might bore him before long. The fact remained that he was somewhere north of twenty-seven hundred years old.

He didn’t age, but I did.

“It would be magical, being with you. I know it.” I grasped his outstretched hand, kissed his palm, and squeezed it. “Down to my bones. I know. But, to state the obvious, I’m human. You’re not.”

Pressing his hand to my cheek, I let my fears spill out of my mouth in an uncontrolled gush. “I’ll grow old and you’ll look exactly like you do now and you’ll have to watch me wither and die. And I know this is completely ridiculous to even bring up when I’ve known you all of two days, but when you talk to me like this, how can I ignore it?”

“You can’t, but nor is it something to worry about. If we bond,” his expression became tentative and he clarified, “if,
after a time
, bonding is something we both desire, you will age as I do. Kim didn’t explain this?”

“What? No. I mean we talked a bit about her relationship with Brassal, how some of it works, but I didn’t think to ask her about the age thing. You’re saying Kim doesn’t age?”

“On Earth, she ages but at a drastically slower rate. If she were to live permanently in my world, she would stop aging altogether.” He paused, considering me. “Is there anything else you would know? Things, perhaps, you were reluctant to ask her?” He moved his hand to my shoulder. “I’ll not have anything unspoken between us. You may ask me, or tell me, anything you wish and I’ll only think you better for it.”

I snorted. “No matter how jumbled or incomprehensible?”

He returned my smile and it warmed me through. “Especially then,” he replied.

The urge to fall into his arms, to taste him, to know him fully, hit me hard enough that I almost swayed on my feet. Somehow, I restrained myself. “Then … I’d ask you to be patient with me. I want you, Kieran, but we need time to know each other. And I need to think about all this. So much has happened. I want to make sure I have my head together, that I’m not just raw and needy from being dumped.”

He seemed to take this in stride, his expression sympathetic. “There was a reason he didn’t bond with you, Lire, but it certainly wasn’t because of you. I know that much. I think, more than likely, he couldn’t take that step because he wasn’t fully aware of his own identity. Maeve has opened that up for him.” He smoothed several escaped strands of hair behind my ear. “I’ll be honest, although it doesn’t make me happy to see you hurting, I’m grateful for his shortcoming.”

He stared down at me, grasping my chin between his gentle fingers, eyes intent. “I’ll be patient,” he said, leaning down to place a chaste kiss upon my lips before adding, “to a point.” His direct look and wicked smile prompted a distinct spike in my heart rate, but by some miracle, I held on to my scruples.

He tugged on my hand before releasing it, his tone all business. “Come. We need to change and get back to the others. There is much to discuss.”

Although Kieran issued a mild protest about the time, he didn’t prevent me from taking a quick shower. For ten wonderful minutes, I allowed the jets to pound my body and, at least temporarily, drive some of the distressed thoughts out of my mind.

As I made my way downstairs, clad in my most comfortable jeans and my hair still static-charged from my blow drier, I overheard Kieran and Red discussing the lack of active sidhe gateways. From the bit of conversation I overheard, the one remaining gateway was situated in contested sidhe territory.