Deception (5 page)

His eyes narrowed at her. “To say I was hurt by your situation implies a deep connection to you—a connection we never had. What you do in your private life is no concern of mine. I don’t need your apologies.”

Okay, she deserved that. She swallowed back the tears, hopped down from the swing, and walked to the French doors, pausing at the threshold. “For what it’s worth, I felt a deep connection to you. One I wish could have developed into something more. You were refreshingly nice and caring and for a few moments I was able to live the life I wished was true. I’ll always cherish those moments, and for that I thank you.”

***

Julian rubbed his fingers across his tender brow. A headache was forming. Maura’s honest words didn’t help, but served to confuse him more. He wanted to be repulsed by her, wanted to not be achingly attracted to her, but it was no use. She’d gone at him with utter sincerity and raw openness. He could try to deny her genuineness, but his gut wouldn’t let him. He knew she wasn’t lying about any of it, but his pride and his steel-hardened heart wouldn’t let him lower his guard. He’d made a promise to protect himself from ever having to experience the devastating pain and loss of broken trust again.

T
hose who are afraid to live by chance will see their souls die without dance.

I
f that wasn’t the statement of the decade. How long had it been since he’d danced? He calculated the time in his head. Three years, seven months, sixteen days.

He couldn’t afford to live by chance—the last time he did that someone had died. Avoiding chance was his only defense against all-consuming pain. He gasped, recalling the nightmare of his past. Leaning forward with his head in his hands his upper body convulsed with emotion and a flood of long-suppressed tears were released.

He realized he was pushing Maura away with his anger and rudeness. She would be so much better off if she’d just forget him. Forget the caress they’d shared, forget the stolen kisses—forget all of it.

Forget Maura’s touch.

Forget Maura’s scent.

Forget Maura’s tender kisses.

Forget Maura’s bruises.

As the tears dried he stood. What had happened to her? Had Alan brutalized her body? Images of forceful hands marking her body flashed in his mind. Julian shook his head—he’d do well to stay out of it. She was a bubbling fountain of complications that he didn’t need in his life. Besides, she had the assistance of his family now.

But only he could fulfill her physical needs—or so he had hoped. The thought of Maura’s perfect body—her sultry combination of curves and softness—made him achingly hard. Not to mention that low breathy voice, which he loved in a woman. The pièce de résistance was her height. Standing just over six feet tall, Julian had trouble finding a woman he didn’t have to stoop to kiss or to hear the words coming from her lips. The top of Maura’s head reached his brow. With just a tilt of his head he could kiss her. Another plus was that her stature enabled him to inhale her scent. She always smelled like fresh gardenias, and now he knew why—her bath oil.

Julian rose, walked to the door of his room, and latched it. Then he sat on his bed and thought of Maura. Release was needed before his head exploded. Fisting his cock he recalled her scent, her sincerity, the light hazel of her eyes, her achingly hard tits, and the curve of her hips. In the bathroom he’d wanted to taste her full and soft pink lips, but he’d not been able to react—her beauty had him entranced. Imagining the taste of her had him coming into his hand like a teenager.

He thought an evening swim was in order so he cleaned himself up, donned his swimming shorts, and made his way down the stairs. He grabbed the rest of the beer and then chugged a bottle, noticing one more there than before. Maura had returned the one he’d given her. He wondered why, and then recalled their little exchange in the kitchen where he’d acted like a total rhino’s ass. He winced as he recalled his little
eat David shrimp
speech. He hadn’t known her long, but she didn’t deserve to be treated with hostility before she’d even been given a chance.

Outside on the back porch someone had left an open bottle of Jose Cuervo on the wrought iron table. Julian poured a large shot of tequila and downed it, enjoying the burn. He followed it with another. He’d be getting plenty drunk tonight. The cool pool water felt glorious on his hot skin. It wasn’t long before Everett joined him, taking a beer.

“Thought you’d have gone back to Boston by now.”

Everett spread his arms, settling them on the concrete edge of the pool. “I would have, but an assignment came up in Baton Rouge so I volunteered.”

Julian leisurely floated on his back, passing Everett as he went. “
You
volunteered for a Louisiana assignment?”

“I was already here, so why not?”

Standing, Julian then swam back toward the other end of the pool where he’d left his beer and Everett. “You hate the people in the Baton Rouge office. You hate Baton Rouge, hell you hate Louisiana.” Julian drained his beer in one pull.

“Hate is a strong word. I don’t
hate
it anywhere.”

“Something tells me this has something to do with that woman friend of Maura’s. Fee-Fee.”

“Fiona.”

Julian laughed. “Oh, my God. You stayed for a girl.”

“It may have something to do with her.” Everett tilted his head to one side, seemingly in erotic thought.

“You get a tattoo yet?”

“I won’t be getting a tattoo.”

“What a ball of fun you are.”

“Fuck you, Julia.” Everett finished off his beer.

“I’m just being logical. She’s into the arts and you’re . . . well you.”

“I can be into art.”

“Okay, but are you going to feign an interest or actually enjoy art because she’ll see right through you if you’re bogus?”

“I don’t know how someone can
enjoy
art. We went to the Blue Horse Gallery today. Thank God Gabriel is our cousin because I was able to get in depth about his work. Still . . . I don’t know if I want to pursue whatever is brewing. She’s kind of giving me an ultimatum.”

“Oh?” Julian’s cocked his head, curious. “What’s that?”

“You’re right about her seeing right through me. She’s impossible to be easy going with. She wants clear expectations before going in. She’s the lawyer in our relationship. I’ve never worked so hard for pussy before.”

“Is that all it’s about?”

Everett slammed his fist through the surface tension of the water making a large frustrated splash. “No,” he huffed. “That’s the thing—for the first time in my life, I don’t want it to be just about sex. I don’t know where to go from here or even what I’m supposed to do so I just keep vacillating. It’s pathetic really. I’ve become like you.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, brother.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready to give a relationship a go, but I think that’s what she wants. She won’t even let me kiss her, yet I stay around because I find myself unable to predict what she’s going to do or say next and I don’t want to miss any of it.”

“Holy shit.” Julian handed his brother another beer and took one for himself. “You’re fucked.”

“What?”

“You’re going long game.”

“Like Parker?”

“I don’t know if anyone can do it like Parker. That fool’s gone the extra long game.”

“Yeah.” Everett went to the other side of the pool and tossed a football to Julian.

Julian threw the ball back, overshooting and it landed on the porch.

“Parker what?”

“Speak of the devil.” Everett said.

Parker cannonballed into the pool and water overflowed at the sides. Bailey carried out two more six packs of bottled beer, turned the outdoor television to ESPN, and then she grabbed the football.

“Julian, go long.” He backed up to the wall of the pool and Bailey threw the ball like an NFL pro.

“That’s my girl.” Parker smiled like an idiot in love at Bailey while she handed beers all around.

“I like this one.” Everett said as he hitched a thumb in Bailey’s direction.

“She’ll do,” Parker nodded.

Julian was happy for Parker, but secretly he seethed with jealousy—a strange combination of emotions plaguing him. As he watched Bailey and Parker floating on the aqua lounger, he realized it was over for Parker. He’d made it through the minefield and emerged safely.

Lucky.

Strong.

Two attributes he wasn’t and would never be.

Julian would never allow himself another chance to complete the mission. The last one had ended disastrously. He’d lost and his fate was to walk the earth alone—half of a whole person.

Where Julian failed, Parker succeeded and he’d forever be connected to Bailey. Julian’s ominous thoughts turned even darker when he realized he’d not be able to outrun Maura. Since she was connected to Bailey, she’d forever be in their lives.

Julian exited the pool and dried his wet skin with Courtney’s plush designer towel. If she were to catch him using her thirty-five-dollar towel she’d kill him. He shook his head and smiled when he thought of the clever way she’d handled her broken engagement. He hoped the situation with her ex wouldn’t zap any of the fire or energy he loved about her.

Maura appeared on the porch and locked eyes with him, but then she sheepishly looked away. “Bailey, have you seen that stack of essays I need to grade?”

“I put them in your room.”

Before Maura could walk away he touched her elbow. “Hey, I’m glad you’re out here.”

“You are?”

He offered her the beer she’d put back. “Truce?”

“Thanks.” Her feet shuffled toward the door.

“Maura.” He indicated she should sit at the table. “Care to drink with me?” She turned and came to sit across from him.

A commotion had him looking up at Arianna as she waltzed in with some of her sorority sisters.

“Bring the keg over here.”

“Julian, will you hook it up for us?” Two Kappa’s asked in unison.

Maura’s eyes narrowed at their lilting voices.

“Oh!” The dishwater blonde’s eyes went wide when she spotted Maura. “I’m in your British Lit class.”

“That’s right.” Maura smiled while Julian fiddled with the keg attachment.

“I have a solid D in your class. I just don’t get literature.”

“Maybe if you would read the actual book instead of downloading the Spark Notes you’d
get literature
a little better,” Ari offered. Julian laughed deeply. Maura’s smile was warm and fuzzy and caused a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.

“You would definitely comprehend more of the material if you read the assignment as stated in the syllabus and made your own notes while reading.”

“Can you help me with it?” Kayla asked.

“Seriously Kayla, Dr. Douglas doesn’t want to work during her off hours. Leave my house guest alone.” Ari said.

Maura’s accommodating smile not quite reaching her eyes, she said, “Come by during my office hours. They’re posted on the syllabus. Be sure to have your detailed notes on the next assigned reading.”

Kayla’s forehead puckered, “okay.”

The blonder sorority sister whose name he couldn’t remember pressed a palm to Julian’s shoulder. Thank you for hooking up the keg. We’re going to Razz later if you want to tag along. I know I’d like it if you were there. Her nails scraped across his bare chest and he caught her hand in his to remove it from his body. Maura watched with intensity.
Don’t worry, babe. This kid could never satisfy me like you could.
In his inebriated state he hoped he hadn’t just said that aloud. Looking at Maura’s unchanged expression he knew he hadn’t.

He smiled to lessen the blow to Whatshername’s ego. “I’m sure it’s gonna be a blast, but I’m busy.”

“That’s too bad.” Her overly glossed lips formed into a cartoonish pout.

Bailey and Parker joined the rest of them on the back porch. “Julian, Parker tells me you do a great Cajun joke.”

“I do okay.”

“Please tell it,” Bailey pleaded.

The entire backyard clan sat on the porch drinking beer, expectantly looking at Julian, Maura included. He didn’t know if it was the beer that had put the glow on her cheeks, but Maura was breathtaking and he felt a strong desire to please her.

***

Maura certainly didn’t like the way Kayla had eyed Julian like a piece of turtle cheesecake that she’d bust her diet for. Maybe it was the beer, but whenever Maura made eye contact with him it seemed he was looking into her soul with those penetrating jewel-toned eyes, despite Whatshername’s flirting.

Now Whatshername was at his side, pleading with him to tell some joke. With her platinum blonde hair she was exceptionally attractive—the kind of attractive that magazines paid for, and yet Julian seemed only to have eyes for Maura.
What the hell was in that beer?

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell the joke on one condition.” Julian stood and held a finger dramatically in the air, clutching a beer in his free hand.

“What? Anything you want, we’ll do it.” The sorority sisters said in unison.

Maura choked down a swallow of beer. Damn, young girls in this town certainly weren’t discreet.

“I’ll only tell the joke if
Maura
can convince me to tell it.”

Seven sets of eyes pierced her at once.
Oh, shit!
Maura cleared her throat. “Tell the joke, Julian,” she said.

“Hmm, it doesn’t seem to me like you really,
really
want to hear it.”

An assortment of pleas were offered up to his ears. “Nope,” Julian scoffed, “Maura has to convince me.”

“Come on Maura, convince this idiot to tell the joke so I can take your sister to bed.” Parker smiled and kissed Bailey’s shoulder.

Maura sighed, and then giggled at the humor in the situation. Maybe it was the
Pancreas
beer—
did it have actual bits of pancreas in it?—
Maura walked up to Julian, toe to toe, and then leaned in and took his lips with hers. His fingers laced through the hair at her nape. When she opened her mouth to speak his tongue entered. She punched at his shoulder and whined, but her protested pleas went ignored. When he released her, a devilish twinkle resided in his eyes and whoops and hollers could be heard from the onlookers. She punched him in the stomach.