Deception (3 page)

It’s not that he was just evil,
evil
.  He was more than just horrifically
evil
!  He was evil to the twelfth power evil with a big cherry on top, evil!  That defined him well beyond his character.  He lived to make others miserable.  I've found that miserable people seem to act that way to make up for their own unfounded miseries.  Revenge for their own wronged life. 

I didn’t look back up after that, but he kept an eye on me during the whole trig test. Christian, the same boy who only ever smiled and never spoke, was glaring at Kin and popped his knuckles that direction.  Christian seemed nice.  Well nice for an all in black kind of nice.    At least he was on my side.  But Kin makes no sense. He likes me sometimes, hates me the rest.

I stood to leave thankful that the test was over knowing I didn’t miss a question and at the same time, grabbed the pendant under my shirt. Knocking it around to pull it out, I felt the familiar sudden impulse to stroke it. As always, it was at the oddest of moments and generally lasted seconds to a minute. Worse, I felt as if my hand was glued to it and then suddenly, it would release. Attempting to look less possessive of Ian’s time, I gathered my things and left ahead of him intending to stand outside the room in wait.  No sound of swishing Levis came my direction.  He just vanished, and so did Kin. 

Oh well. Off to English.

As the minutes of tedious regurgitation vibrated on, my mind meandered to Ian’s recent increasing absences. I saw it as deserting me.  I didn’t have the guts to ask how he saw it. He was acting strange recently, even for him.  He skipped several classes everyday this week and last.  Even odder was that none of the teachers seemed anxious to find out why.  In fact, no one seemed to have noticed but me.  When I brought the subject up to Ian, he usually said he was sick, or that I worried too much, or he made up all the work and the teachers were fine with it.  I didn’t know where he went and I didn’t press him. 

My thoughts stayed to myself more than I should sometimes, but I didn’t want to be quizzed about things I wanted kept silent.  I liked to pretend I was invisible sometimes and no one knew I was moving in and out of space and real time.  I was the puppet master, not the puppet.  
Sometimes
I really did feel invisible to others.  Perhaps that’s why I found comfort in creating dreams.  Reality was sometimes disappointing.  

Blonde like caramel.  That's what Ian called my hair it in fourth grade. He said it looked like the ice cream at the gas station counter.  I’d inherited from my eccentric mother.  Flipping it now to hide and shift down in my desk to escape the others around me was what I do.  Ian always said my green eyes told all my secrets anyway but he could read everything about me.  Like today. His glances told me he was paying less attention than me.  

Caylie, my high-strung, crazy best friend, nudged me from behind, “Wake up!”  I looked over to see her pearl earrings showing the slightest glint from the fluorescent lights.  She had her perfectly manicured hands around what she called her “craned” neck and she was swinging her brown curls with the one red streak back in my direction for a second time. I smiled back to appease her.

Twenty seconds later a note fell on my desk.  Looking up, I first found Ben, the boy who sat in front of me for just about every class.  He angled sideways waiting or watching or something else entirely.  He eyed Caylie’s nonverbal cues to leave us alone and turned back around.  I didn’t want to hear his attempt to ask me out again.  The note thankfully, came from a smiling Caylie.  I opened it.

Let’s go shopping in town.  Cruise for guys.  Something.  Anything.  You need out, girl!

Rolling my eyes upward at a smiling Caylie, I didn’t say yes or no to her proposal.  With fifteen minutes to go on the clock by the door, I was so glad that it’s Friday but not about going to town or anything like she would do
. 

The boy next to me was mimicking my every move.  I moved, he moved.  I sighed, he sighed.  I didn’t know why and didn’t particularly want to find out.  Probably just as bored as I was.  He was making noises now and drawing a lot of attention.  It was all amusing anyway.  At least it passed the time.

Pam was next to me popping her hot pink lips against her daily wint-o-mint gum just loud enough to keep me from entering my non-reality dream world again.    She was pretty, but she tried always to dress like the norm, talk like the norm, and never, ever do anything daring.   She was good at everything she tried, but rarely tried anything. Never a daring move.  Pam was a doormat. 
Really!
  Getting her to do anything or go anywhere was next to impossible.   Pam and I had an understood friendship that was based on “survival”.  When you had no one else to hang out with, instead of being alone in a sea of high school drama queens and jocks, walking with a buddy was survival if you didn’t want to be labeled a nobody. 

Something flashed out of the corner of my eye.   I looked at the classroom door. Ian’s green eyes were right outside the door window looking straight at me.  “What!” I said a little too loudly.  Darting a look around the room, no one seemed to be paying me much attention. 

A few heads turned now to give me the standard “you’re a freak” look. Did I say something aloud?  So much for going unnoticed today.

  Someday, somehow people would know the real reasons they were scared of me.  I hated when the bizarre things started to happen.  About a year ago it got worse!  I swore that Ian had seen some of my “accidents” in real time, but he always just said things like, “What are you talking about, silly girl.”   Things just disappeared or appeared in front of me.  People had sudden random memory losses when talking to me.  Sometimes people would do strange things that I’d just been thinking about and it would come true.  Frustrated, I'd ask, “Why am I a freak?” or “Why can’t I be normal?” He comfort me with , “You’re perfect” and “You can’t help it that others can’t see perfection.”  But I still, like everything else with Ian, felt like he had a hidden meaning.

Outside the door, a nervous Ian paced the floor clean hinting for me to leave.  He kept running his fingers through his thick chestnut strands that just reached into his eyebrows.  He always messed it up unintentionally when stressing and ended up throwing it back in his eyes instead of moving it aside.  Though I didn’t want to see him stress, I sure loved the messy hair look on him. There were times I knew Ian to be holding back, hiding something, but he'd tell me in his own time. I even think he knew I wanted to ask though I never did.

My hand raised.  When Coach teacher looked, his head shook as if I’d stunned him with an invisible ray gun from across the room.   “Coach Stanton, can I use the restroom?”  

Coach seemed to be back from wonderland when he finally answered, “Well, yes Grace, but do hurry, class is just about to end.  Be quick!”  He had a habit of replicating everything he said.  He turned back to the same stack of papers he’d been grading the entire time.

The same whistler from the earlier class sounded off as I walked out the door jealous of my getting there late and now escaping again in his eyes.  One of the goth girls at the front of the room was angry she lost out sitting at the back of the room by being late, so she stuck her hand in the air mimicking me, but coach frowned and shook his head no.

I left my things and went sailing out the door.  Ian’s angled jaw line was drawn in and hard to read.  I wondered why he looked so nervous.

“What are you doing?  And how did you get out here?” I snipped at Ian looking in both directions down the hallway.  I didn’t mean too, but I raked my eyes up and down stopping at the black blazer layered with the solid black Henley.  Hidden tightly beneath that were his broad shoulders that were all muscle and sooo…hard not to watch flex when he leaned absolutely anywhere.  Not too tight, just right!  His black jeans and Doc Martins were always my favorite.  Well, just about all of him was my favorite.

When I opened my eyes from savoring the moment, I caught only a blur of movement moving fast.  He’d just hid around the corner in an alcove near an empty classroom smiling that ridiculously fabulous smile of his.  As I walked as slowly as possible towards the place where he’d just vanished playing cat and mouse, he startled me with a grab to my scrawny arm and pulled me too close ramming up against him. “You wanted to be saved, right!” Blocking the rest of the world out with his rogue smile shining forced me to bite my gasp in two. When I was this close he always seemed nervous.  He pulled his free hand through his hair that now fell right over his left eye where I loved it to be when he tilted just right. 

More hidden messages were sure to follow every time he spoke, but never explained.  He swallowed and pushed a hand through his hair.  It was puffed out around his head, like he's been running a marathon, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to—"

He cut himself off.

Something inside of me scrunched up and heavied my beating heart to rabbit speed. I grabbed my head blocking the invasion of burning rubber nearing us and closing in.  Kin. This horrific connection to the ultimate villain is undeniably hard to ignore.

Ian stiffened.  He pulled me all the way against him forcing several strategic places to still me like a statue.  He was standing on my toes.  Tears welled up as I tried to wiggle backwards but only edged us against the corner now.   My mouth was beside his cheek so I curled my lips in to keep from touching his face. 

“
Where
did they go?” a voice boomed from the hallway. 

Footsteps trailed away.

“Are you saving me from that horrid class or
him
?” I whispered into Ian’s ear and nodded in the direction Kin left with that insistent nervous waver my voice kept around him. I didn’t have a choice about the whispering or how close I was to him to say it. He shivered.  I know because I felt it!

He just smiled sheepishly and looked out behind my shoulder. This wasn’t the first time he’d saved me from that moron.  He always had some kind of uncanny sixth sense when it came to saving me from Kin.  I never questioned it too long, I just loved that he did it.  “Grace,” Ian’s voice moved right beside my ear again, relieving me by simply saying my name and reminding me I was safe from Kin.  “Are you okay?”  He was looking down. He meant my toes.

I nodded unable to find the ability to speak to him the way a
friend
should.  My body was talking, but my voice had dropped to my stomach.

“Guess he’s gone,” Ian peeked around to where Kin disappeared and away from me appearing now unruffled by the escapade.   “Are you okay?” he repeated. 

Doing the same, I walked backwards. Ian and I had been friends since, well kindergarten.  He’d always been there.  Always! When life’s disasters seem to happen, he always showed up at precisely the right moment to pick up the pieces.

“The bell is about to ring.  You need to go.” 

He was still standing a little too close to me to hide my own nervousness.  I tried to swallow.  Didn’t happen.  I tried to breathe.  Didn’t happen.  I held my breath.

“Your lips are turning blue, princess.”  He shifted his arms a little making the warmth of him hit me in soft waves against my skin.  Sadly, the dull pang of reality gnawed at my heart. I wanted to scream out the truth.

“Why are you not in class?” I demanded taking a deep breath.  His eyes blinked when a wave of my winded breath hit him. Thank goodness it was before lunch. 

He held up a pink slip of paper indicating that once again, he had a “get out of jail free” card as we called it.  Class passes were hard to come by for most people, but not for Ian.  He shrugged and pocketed it. “Umm, I didn’t feel good” he said, but his expression was saying something else.

Yeah, right! 
I didn’t believe him, but had a feeling he was only hiding it to protect me from something bad he was dealing with.  “Who was Kin looking for?” I asked with a severity I didn’t really mean.

“You, I guess!” he said without hesitation. 

“What?” I was in shock only because he’d said it so casually.  He rolled his eyes in what seemed like amusement. One Mississippi…two Mississippi…the seconds were ticking slower than a turtle running a 5K.  Was he going for shock?

“Oh, I don’t know, Grace.   I heard him coming. I didn’t think you’d want to run into him.”

He had to have the most devastating dashing smile that shot his upper lip up at the corners when he was trying to get me off topic.  I melted and forgot all about getting answers out of him.  As I quietly cursed this all too often lately, cryptic, intense Ian that reduced me to acting like a giddy preteen schoolgirl, I just shrugged and rolled my eyes. 

After stepping further away for the needed distance, he watched until after the bell rang and I stopped briefly to look at the “Hug a Tree” poster I’d hung over the library door.  I turned to look at Ian and remind him of my tree meeting at the library today, but he was gone. 

Mr. Stanton dismissed the class after assigning homework.  “The entire essay is due next Friday, typed in a twelve font, Times New Roman.   Complete papers only.”  I scattered my favorite gel pen pack all over the floor then fell into my desk while everyone else filed out the door.  I was bent down getting the rest of my belongings, gathering my pens, and felt a light breeze hit the back of my neck. Inadvertently, my hand went to my necklace.  Crossing my fingers with one hand and stroking the charm with the other I chanted to myself,
please don’t be Kin!  Please don’t be Kin!

  I peeked behind my hair first, then doubled timed it back to standing.   Ian was standing right above me. I sighed in relief, but my heart still fluttered with Ian near.  I stood up only to be reminded he was at least a head taller than me since last year. A Greek god.  A Roman god.   Any and all when those eyes are on me. “What are you doing?” I asked realizing after his presence didn’t make sense. His eyes darted around the room nervously replacing a fast a smugly worn smile he always seem to adorn when I was thinking rather loose thoughts about him. There was a different darker expression displayed across his face altered from the schoolboy look I was given a few minutes earlier in the hallway.

“Checking on you!” he said a little too coolly. I started to respond, but decided to let it not turn into another interrogation. He smiled, obviously hiding something. There for the briefest second, I could have sworn he was reading my mind.

Both of our next classes were in rooms next to each other.   I didn’t want another tardy in one day or ever for that matter.  That would mean a second recorded message sent to my mom’s voice mail in one day.  One was plenty enough to hear about when I got home. We headed down the crowded hallway pushing forward through the squeeze of jock body odor and drama queen bantering.  Ian waved as he passed me to his classroom.  I sighed knowing he’d wait till I went first and headed in, but today he didn’t.  He really needed to back off being near me if he wants me to not think careless thoughts about him. 

Caylie passed me in the hall on the way into the same class as Ian, “Grace, you’re going to stop the staring or your permanently going to have your face stuck that way.”

“Am I that obvious?”  Ian was like a fresh pot of strong coffee.  Stirs the senses and leaves you addicted.  Spiked with a little bit of absolute outright danger.  But essential!

“Yeah, girl.  At least lately!  Can anyone say Ian druggie?  Addicted to Ian?”

“But he won’t leave me alone.  He’s just there, all the time.  It’s not like I’m pulling his arm.  He’s pulling mine.” My hands shook for no real reason that I wanted to admit.

“Still!” I knitted my eyes together mocking my friend’s words determined to not let her ruffle my feathers, “
Still
!  He’s the one constantly there.”

“I’m just saying.  If he is suddenly now wanting more than friends, he makes the move.  Until then, back off.  Friendship is more important and you don’t want that messed up.”

Mike, the soccer goalie, strutted up next to Caylie, hooked his arm in hers, and pulled her to the next classroom.

She stumbled off saying, “Like I said, let him do the pulling,” and pointed to Mike’s huge bulky arm.  I rolled my eyes and closed my locker smelling the fire and flames.  Wheeling around landing in the direction of my classroom door I sighted the tall-good-looking-not-able-to-speak-ever Christian who stood leaning on the lockers across the way staring with his coal black eyes.   No expression in his face, just all out staring at me.  I got the feeling he was all mystery and nothing but trouble with that wicked grin but he softened the smile and shook his not too short, spiked dark black hair side to side like he knew what I was thinking. He never spoke, just stared probably trying to figure out the freak. 
I left him standing there in a daze not knowing yet again if this boy would ever actually talk. 

The morning passed in about the same way as the first two classes.  My eyes were still glazed over trying to solve the Ian puzzle because of his refusal to help me though I knew very well he was aware of my unhealthy drive to solve the mystery he’d intentionally placed me with lately. The subtlest peek from the corner of my eye revealed Ian standing outside my class when I exited.  He motioned a “come hither” with one finger curling towards my direction.  Leaning on the wall!  One leg propped up.  Smiling at
me
!
  I swear I didn’t visit any gypsies and slip a love potion in his soda
.

My stomach knotted up and went fuzzy inside.  No point asking his motives, he wouldn’t tell me anyway.  Nancy Drew couldn’t solve this one.

I caught him looking back into the classroom to the window where the rain had begun to fall in a light drizzle.  The beautiful fall trees were sparkling glittery gold shadows all across the room during class and a shadowy calm was on us now.  He stared briefly, stiffened his back, and then turned back just as quickly with a warm smile.

I followed the path his eyes took to the outside window once more. “What?”

“Nothing, princess.” 

I watched him follow my hair as it circled around onto the side of my neck all the while screaming...
Please,
stop being my best friend and love me forever. Blushing afterward...if he knew…
too
embarrassing!  I’d accepted a long time ago that he only wanted to be friends.  Deep down inside, he might even know.   Looking away first, I led the way out though I ended up in the cafeteria alone. Today’s lunch was ham and cheese without my butterscotch pudding, but I had a vanilla yogurt! That sucked lemons.

“Take me up on my offer.  Let’s go to the city this weekend and shop for clothes and hot guys.  Chillaxin!  You’ll love it, cheerio.  You need it.”  Her eyebrows rose on the last comment. 

“I don’t know, Caylie.”  Which really meant no, but I didn’t want to give her just a solid rejection.

“Come on, Grace!  You need to breathe.  Take a seat in the engine with me cuz’ your brain is stuck in the caboose.”  Caylie had a way with words.  I dropped my mouth at the honesty of her horrid analogy.  But I enjoyed my caboose.   Life... meaning.  “And face it, my ideas are spicier than yours.  Let some boy take a bite of hot sauce mama!”

This was the true Caylie!  I rolled my eyes, again searching the cafeteria for Ian because he said he'd meet me worried he was off bashing Kin's face in for earlier.  Lunch was a whirlwind every day lately.  If there wasn’t a good food fight or seniors picking on freshmen, then there was something just as equally dramatic involving the notorious Kin.  Captain of the soccer team, he was as arrogant as they come.  And determined to make my life as difficult as he can!

Still no Ian in sight, I heard Caylie telling Pam the details of my one sided stare down with him in the hallway.  I sure didn’t want him to hear it so I stayed quiet willing her to finish faster. “Yeah, Supergirl here was giving him a steamy version of some big bad x-ray vision.  Probably deciding if he is a boxer or briefs kind of guy.”

One pop on her arm made her briefly stop before she pinched back in retaliation and responded, “Yeah, don’t go all Wonder Woman on me.  You’re as weak to his charms as I am to Mike’s.  Don’t impulse buy until you try it on, girl.”  This...was Caylie.  Everything was a metaphor of life.  A walking proverbial Dear Abby. And I’d become more like her in that than I would ever admit aloud to anyone. 

“Hey Caylie,” I grabbed her attention and held up one finger, “Wait for it.”  I held my “I have a surprise” face for her, the kind she tells me all the time with stay that way permanantly.  She rolled her eyes at me and turned back to Pam to finish her advice for the Grace column of life screw-ups.

Pam turned my direction now to egg me on in her way, a ploy to watch the drama not entertain it herself, “Be impulsive girl.  He’s hot.”

I inadvertently smiled a little at her.   That was funny coming from her, Miss Not Ever Daring At All. One of these days she’ll let it go. “Wishes for a wishing well, girl.”

“I’m just saying, if the stallion chases the mare, she plays coy for the leading up to and then, BAM!  Give in to him.  It is what it is, sister.”  This was the Caylie coming out in her.  She must be feeling all Newlywed Show like cause she was in “fix them up” mode.  It’s the only thing that Pam thought outside the box on.

Ian joined us soon after and I thanked my lucky stars he’d not heard the conversation just seconds ago.  Finally enjoying the yogurt the sudden heat rising on the back of my neck trickled through my body to my hands and instantly my left hand slipped upward to my necklace.  As was the routine, my hands burned just as Ian stiffened beside me.  Sure enough, Kin was standing
just
behind me.  His two cronies, Mike the goalie and Jason the referee were flanking both sides.   Mike started talking to Caylie about going to the Halloween party next week as the stare down began. 

Why, in a cafeteria the size of half a football stadium, did Kin always have to make his way towards our table?  Yeah, so he’s gorgeous and every girl wanted to go out with him.  He’s pure bad with no room left inside for any good. 

I rolled my eyes and stared at the Japanese flag above my head.  Then the flag from France, Norway—Ouch!  Someone pinched me.  I looked beside me, but my friends didn’t seem to be fooling around.  I felt compelled to keep my hand on my necklace still.  All this used to be odd to me, but I was accustomed to weird.  It seemed to soothe me despite its appearance. Why did my mom insist on ugly jewelry?  She acted like it was some magic charm to ward evil away and even called it an amulet.  And when and how did I develop this habitual fetish to stroke it, I don’t remember.  It’s not anything like the one Ian gave me, but occasionally wore for my mom to see.

Ian was instantly agitated seconds before I’d found Kin’s spiked blonde head towering over me and stayed that way.  His ice blue eyes stared evil thoughts into mine never speaking while Mike chatted on.  The burning tires smell that infiltrated my lungs whenever he was near hit me stronger than ever.  This was daily.  
Not a peep out of him at until lunch except the gummy bear catapults.  We left the cafeteria without a single word spoken, but Kin was grinning like an opossum at me as I stood to leave.  He followed me wi
t
h his eyes all the way to the trashcan. He was such a stalker
.

Caylie grabbed my arm to comfort me.  Pam stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Stop!  Let him be.  He left me alone today.”

“Big shock!” Caylie said flatly as Mike left her to catch up to Kin.  Yes, my best friend dates the evil villain’s best friend.  My bad luck.

“I’ll never get Kin’s fascination with you.  Not meaning…just saying…oh, never mind.”  Pam finished with a smirk as Kin shook the spikes of his hair with his fingers letting his pointer finger land on his temple my direction to follow me with his eyes again till I was out the door, meaning he would follow me for real when I thought I was safe.  It was a signal he formed long before telling me he was watching me.  All the time.

Wish I knew too!

I let go of the necklace as soon as I exited the cafeteria and felt my body relax with losing sight of villain boy.  I was really starting to question the sanity of all this, or at least my own sanity.  Sometimes the crazy stuff that happened to me was just plain well,
insane
. 

Kin had been an annoying presence since the first day of kindergarten when he put the school’s chocolate pudding in my hair.  And always,
always
two steps ahead of me.  How he knew where I was every single minute and day of the week was beyond me. But he did.

Ian followed Kin through the cafeteria door excusing himself saying he was going to talk to him.  I gave up telling him not to years ago.

Callie returned after a long goodbye with Mike just outside the cafeteria doors.  She leaned over and whispered, “Heard you skipped out of class for a little rendezvous.  You and Ian are having all kinds of secret meetings.  I am beginning to wonder now.”

“Who from?”

“Pam!” She pointed her way.

“Figures.”

“You play right into him.” Caylie reminded me.

“Wouldn’t you?” I could tell the pitch of my voice went an octave higher.

“Nope.  Not the bad boy type.  He has too many mysteries about him I can’t solve.”

“Hmm!  Isn’t that what makes him so irresistible?”  I searched for him checking if he was behind me not wanting him to hear.  I looked at Caylie seeing her “walk softly and carry a big stick” expression on her face.  Ian was never far.

Afternoon classes were uneventful.  I had Geography and Chemistry class with Ian.  Kin was unusually quiet in Geography. The only words from him was in the way he entered the room, “Let’s make some chemistry,” while he watched me and rubbed his hands together.  For which I looked  to Ian for help.
 
Sometimes I ask for his help and he jumps up.  Other times he smirks and watches me squirm.

He took my arm and led me to the back lab desk.  Kin was forced up front by the time his arrogant butt stopped to look around. I watched him crane his neck to watch me but was distracted by another scent.  The smell of fresh wood burning smoke.   Christian, the quiet loner who seemed to be everywhere I was lately. It was the eyes. Intense and domineering even if quiet and aloof. Either way, I didn't have to look to know he was near as well.