Decker (Torey Hope: The Later Years #1) (5 page)

Katie tried to calm her nerves and excitement as she parked in front of the bar where she was meeting the Morgan/Jordan boys.
Men
was the more accurate term. She’d grown up with them as boys, but she’d seen them all around The Center+ and they were most definitely
men
now. She gathered from Decker’s text a bit ago that the planned get together between the three of them had expanded to include Zach and Kendrick as well. Katie was glad they’d all be there; she hadn’t lied when she told Decker she hadn’t been out much since returning to Torey Hope. She’d had friends when she was growing up, but most of them had moved away for college and had no plans on returning; knowing she’d have the Morgan/Jordan crew to pal around with gave her a warm feeling and made her heart go pitter-patter.

That pitter-patter feeling was one she’d have to temper and fast. She’d been in “puppy love” with Sawyer Morgan back in high school, but soon realized that they could only be the best of friends. Zach Morgan was a cutie and a lot of fun, while Kendrick Jordan was devastatingly handsome with that bad boy vibe, but neither of the three men caused her heartbeat to speed up. No, that position went to one Mr. Decker Morgan. Of course it did, because he was her boss and wasn’t that just lovely. She’d never really dated a lot; she’d preferred hanging out with large groups of people. The guys she hung out with always seemed to think she was unapproachable and regarded her as just “one of the guys.” That was great for always having friends to hang with, but it didn’t do much for her romantic experiences.

Once she got to college, she was so busy juggling classes, studying, and working that she barely had time to date. She’d gone on dates here and there, but never really felt that any of the guys were worth more than a date or two. During her sophomore year, after watching girlfriend after girlfriend go through pregnancy scares and the heartache of sleeping with a guy only to find out he was a jerk, she made a pledge to herself. She’d hold on to her virginity at least until she found a guy who made her heart beat faster. And once she found the guy, she wouldn’t just hand it over on a silver platter; he’d have to earn it and deserve it. From that point on, she dated with the goal of finding “the one,” but it just didn’t happen. Maybe she was too business minded, too driven, too serious?

She shook her head. “Stop it, Turner. You are fun and know how to have a good time. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that you’ve not slept around. You’ll find the right guy someday. Until then, enjoy hanging out with these guys as friends.” She pushed away the nagging thought in her head that whispered,
“Decker Morgan makes your heart beat faster. He makes your palms sweat and your body feels warm in all the right places whenever he’s around.”
Decker Morgan was her boss, he couldn’t ever be “the one” no matter how much he made her heart feel all fluttery. Decker was a rule follower and she knew the handbook at The Center+ clearly stated that dating relationships at work were frowned upon.

Walking into the bar, Katie smoothed her skirt and gazed around trying to spot the guys. She saw Decker raise his arm to signal her. Calming her heartbeat, she waved back and wondered what it would be like to be meeting him for a real date. “Never gonna happen, Turner, so get it out of your mind.”

**********

Decker took a deep breath and forced his lusty thoughts to take a back seat as he watched Kate walk toward their table. He very much wished that she was walking toward just him and not to a night of drinks with his brother and cousins. “Not gonna happen, Morgan, so get it out of your mind.”

Kendrick looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Did you say something, Deck?” At the abrupt shake of Decker’s head, Kendrick glanced briefly toward Katie and back at his cousin. A smirk of dawning comprehension formed on his face and Decker felt the urge to punch him right then and there.

Gritting his teeth, Decker growled, “Let it go, man. It’s nothing.” His gaze was direct and fiery. Kendrick gave a curt nod, but Decker knew he wasn’t going to drop it completely.

“Katie Smith, as I live and breathe!” Zach, ever the charmer, stood and pulled her into a hug. She assumed there were many women who would envy her position in Zach’s arms, however, she felt nothing for Zach.

Smiling, she returned his embrace, “It’s so good to see you. And it’s Katie Turner now. I took my mom’s maiden name after my dad left.” Turning to the rest of the men she found Kendrick Jordan on her right; he stood and pulled her into his chest. If she’d been anyone else, she may have responded to the way his hand traveled up and down her back and lingered just a little longer than necessary, but she just shook her head and wondered at the death glare Decker directed toward Kendrick.

She wanted Decker to pull her into a hug, but he just nodded in her direction. “Kate, glad you could make it.” She pushed down the feeling of disappointment and turned to find Sawyer waiting on her with open arms.

Tears filled her eyes and she walked into his warmth. “Sawyer, it’s so good to see you. I hate that we lost touch after graduation. I’ve missed you so much.” She was surprised at her reaction to seeing Sawyer again after all this time. For the short time they dated during high school, she had fancied herself in love with him, but she realized shortly after their relationship began that he didn’t feel the same for her. After they broke up they formed a very close friendship and were practically inseparable for the rest of high school.

“Katie, it’s so good to have you back home with us. I’ve missed you, girl.” He rubbed her back and tucked her head under his chin. She breathed him in and knew again, for the millionth time since moving back to Torey Hope,
this
was where she belonged; she was truly home in this place.

Hearing Decker clear his throat, she backed away from Sawyer’s touch. She had been wrapped in the arms of three extremely attractive, sexy men and yet her heartbeat didn’t double until she looked across the table at Decker. It would be so much easier if she was attracted to one of the other men, or none of them at all. Having feelings for Decker was just really bad timing, and she couldn’t risk messing things up at work. Maybe she should talk to him about it, just lay it all out there and let him know how she felt. She could tell him the truth about her feelings, but let him know that she understood they were unreciprocated and she wouldn’t let the feelings cause any trouble at work. Decker was a straightforward type of guy; he’d probably appreciate her openness. Taking a deep breath, she decided she’d speak to him at the next available opportunity.

**********

Decker took his one hundredth deep breath since she’d walked in the door and felt his jaw clenching as she moved from Zach to Kendrick to Sawyer. He knew Zach was just being his usual charming self, Kendrick was purposely trying to piss him off letting his hands linger like that, and Sawyer…well, his brother looked like he’d reunited with his long lost love. He had known this was a very real possibility. Hell, he’d done everything he could to prepare his heart and mind for Sawyer and Katie to rekindle something, but seeing her in his brother’s arms was a little too real for him and the spark of feelings he’d had for her took a crashing nosedive straight to his gut. Taking another deep breath, he chastised his mind,
“This is for the best. Nothing could have come from it since you work together. If they are happy together, just be happy for them.”
While his mind tried to adjust to being happy for his brother, he decided maybe he should just be upfront with Kate and let her know his feelings. She was an upfront type person, maybe letting her know about these feelings would be helpful; he could assure her that his feelings would not interfere with her and Sawyer or with their work relationship. Cementing the plan in his brain, he decided he’d talk to her at the next opportunity. Just to clear the air.

**********

The night had been filled with laughter and memories and rebuilding friendships, but the five of them knew they had work in the morning so they finished their drinks and prepared to leave.

“We should definitely do this again, maybe make it a weekly thing? What do you guys think?” Zach had a sparkle in his eyes and dimples to die for, who could say no to the man?

“I’m up for it! I don’t have much going on outside of work and spending time with my mom and grandma.” Katie raised her eyebrows expectantly at the other men, hoping they’d want to make this a regular thing.

“That and burning cookies, huh?” Decker spoke with a wink and Katie groaned at the memory.

“Mmm, that sounds like a story for next time. Be ready, Katie, I think Decker has a good tale to share from the looks of that smirk on his face.” Sawyer put his arm around her as he teased her.

“I think a group thing once a week is a great idea, let’s make it happen. But, what about you two? Are you two going to rekindle that romance from high school?” Kendrick asked innocently enough, but Decker saw the gleam in his cousin’s eyes as he threw a glance his way; Kendrick was purposely trying to rattle him.

Sawyer shuffled his feet and mumbled a bit as he grasped at an answer. “Um, yeah, that sounds great. What do you say, Katie-girl? Want to set up a date?” The other men either missed or chose to ignore the strange look she gave to Sawyer and the sheepish, desperate look he returned to her.

With an understanding and comforting hand on his arm, Katie replied, “Yeah, Sawyer, that sounds great. How about you call me and we’ll set something up.”

As they paid their bills and left the bar, hugs were given all around with promises to see each other next week.

Decker gave her an awkward hug and then glanced between her and his brother as they stood together on the sidewalk. “Well, I’ll let you two have some privacy. Really good to have you back home, Kate. I’ll see you first thing in the morning. Get your coffee good and strong in the morning and come to my office first thing. We’ve got some things to go over.” He’d break it down for her tomorrow, first thing, so they could move past this, and he could get his head on straight again.

Sawyer and Katie watched Decker walk to his sleek, black car. He waved as he drove away and Katie turned expectant, worried eyes toward the man who had been her best friend all those years ago.

Hanging his head, Sawyer sighed deeply. “Don’t Katie, just don’t. It’s not that easy; please don’t give me that look.”

“How do they not know, Sawyer? Surely I’m not the only one who knows?” Katie’s words implored and she felt tears rise again as she realized what her best friend had been living with for so many years. Reaching for him, she pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back. “Sawyer Morgan, you’re lucky your best friend is back in town. We’ll get you through this; there may be some storm clouds ahead, but a cleansing rain may be just what you need so you can face brighter days.” They chuckled together and she held his hand as they walked to her car. He kissed her cheek as she climbed in and he watched her back out of the parking space before he headed to his Honda S2000. A movement to his right caught his eye; if he didn’t know better he’d swear Decker was circling the parking lot. Why would his brother have come back here?

**********

He should have just driven home but he was obviously a glutton for punishment. The tiny bit of hope he’d felt when he sensed Sawyer’s awkwardness over the suggestion of a date with Katie was dashed as he watched her pull Sawyer into a hug and rub his back. The kiss at her car had been the final nail in the coffin of his hope. Katie and Sawyer had something between them and he’d respect it. Tomorrow, he’d lay it all out so there was no awkwardness, and they’d move on as colleagues. He’d also talk to Sawyer just so there were no secrets between them.

The next morning, Katie grabbed her coffee before heading to the office. As an impromptu peace-offering, she grabbed a black coffee for Decker knowing he’d be there working out before he started his day; he and the other guys, along with the employees, always did their workouts before classes/programs started for the day or after hours. Facing the conversation she had planned, she was nervous, but felt strongly that clearing the air was the best thing for keeping their working relationship positive.

Arriving at The Center+, she caught a glimpse of Decker in the gym as she walked past toward her office. The man was pure perfection; tall, dark, and handsome was an accurate label for him. He and Sawyer both had their father’s athletic build and their mother’s dark hair. With a crooked little smile and breathtaking golden brown eyes, they were absolutely devastating. But, when she saw Sawyer in the weights section, she didn’t feel her breath catch. Watching Decker on the treadmill sent her heart beating into overdrive. Pushing the feelings down, she thought back to high school when her girlfriends had been gaga over both of the Morgan boys. She recalled how the girls always talked about having trouble telling them apart, but Katie had never had that problem. From the first moment she met them, she saw a softer, more vulnerable part of Sawyer; Decker had a harder glint about him, physically, emotionally, socially. Caught staring, she blushed as both men waved at her and then hurried toward her office.

Stopping his run at two miles, Decker stepped off the treadmill and headed toward the weights. Clearing his throat, he started to speak at the exact moment as Sawyer. They both abruptly clipped out, “So, um, I need to talk to you…” Chuckling nervously, Sawyer nodded toward his brother, “Go ahead. Floor is yours.”

Decker thought lifting weights while he talked would be helpful, but he found he needed his wits about him; placing the barbell back on the rack, he sat up on the weight bench. Clearing his throat yet again he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. “Listen, man, this is rough, but I know you and I don’t have secrets between us, so I’m just going to put it out there. If it pisses you off, we can go a couple rounds in the ring if you want to.” Sawyer raised an eyebrow and waited expectantly for his brother to continue.

“Yeah, so, here’s the deal. I like Kate. As in
like
her. But, I saw how things were between you guys last night and I can tell there’s still something there, so I’m just letting you know that I promise not to interfere with whatever you guys have. In the long run, it’s for the best since I don’t date colleagues and dating my assistant manager would most likely spell disaster. But, I just wanted to clear the air so there were no secrets between us. She’s a great girl and I wish you both nothing but the absolute best.” Decker spoke in a rush and then turned pleading eyes toward his brother, begging him to accept the admission and allow them to move on.

Sawyer took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly, slight tears squeezing from the sides. A shuddering breath and a sarcastic chuckle escaped him before he whispered, “Secrets….yeah, no secrets.”

Decker frowned at his brother’s response. “Man, please tell me that this isn’t going to cause issues between us. I didn’t tell you to cause problems, I just couldn’t walk around with these feelings without letting you know. I figured laying it all out there would help me get rid of the feelings; I didn’t mean to upset you.”

He reached for his brother’s shoulder, “Hey, man, you okay?” Decker got the feeling that his admission wasn’t what Sawyer was upset about. Wondering if this reaction had anything to do with what Sawyer was so upset about a week ago, he waited for his brother to speak.

“Deck, we need to talk. Not about Katie, but there’s a lot to talk about. Work isn’t the place to do it. Thanks for letting me know about Katie. I love that girl with everything I have. But…well, let’s talk soon, just you and me, okay?” Sawyer let out a deep breath and headed toward the showers, leaving Decker confused and concerned. He didn’t like the thought of Sawyer being upset; something was definitely bothering him.

**********

“Good morning, Decker. I got you some coffee. Um, I know we have a lot to go over today, but I was wondering if I could have five minutes of your time?” Katie spoke directly but nervously, which brought Decker an extra dose of confusion. First his brother was acting strange and then Katie acting nervous; the strong woman in front of him didn’t seem to do nervous often.

“Sure, Kate, what’s up?” Decker leaned back on his desk, stretching his long legs out in front of him. Katie imagined walking close to him and positioning herself between his legs.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and spoke quickly, “Decker, I have feelings for you. I know nothing can happen between us because of work and the fact that you probably don’t feel the same. I feel silly even telling you this, but I felt the need to be honest and upfront about it in hopes of just moving on.” Finishing her speech, she dared a glance at him and winced at the look on his face.

“Un-fucking-believable…” Decker sighed out the word. “Well, Kate, I might as well present you with the main thing I wanted to discuss with you this morning.”

At the look of confusion on her face, he continued, “You see, the main thing I wanted us to go over this morning was the fact that I have these crazy feelings for you. I honestly have never been so drawn to a woman before. But, there are a couple issues. One, we work together and I don’t want to mess that up. Two, Sawyer.” When Katie cocked her head at him as if needing more explanation, he huffed out, “You guys dated; last night it was evident there’s still something between you; he just admitted to me that he loves you. No matter what the two of us feel, I will never disrespect my brother by stepping in on what is his. I hope we can just push these feelings aside and continue with our work relationship without there being any problems. If you don’t have feelings for Sawyer, that’s going to have to be something you two discuss, but I can’t be the reason you’re not with him. My loyalties will always lie with him, with my family.” Katie noticed the hard set of his jaw and knew his words came with a strong conviction and dedication to his family. She respected that, and it made her feel even more for him in that moment.

“Decker, I respect that, I truly do. First, I’d like to point out that I’m a person and I don’t belong to anyone so I’m not ‘his,’ but I think you and Sawyer need to have a serious talk and soon. I won’t go any further into it….let’s just say that there’s nothing between Sawyer and me anymore aside from being very close friends.” Katie wanted to wrap her arms around Decker and hold him as she watched the confusion and unsureness dance across his face; she could tell that he didn’t like feeling unsettled like this.

“So, where does this leave us, Decker?” She wanted him to throw the rules out the window, but she knew he still had major reservations about her and Sawyer. Rules could be discussed, but nothing was going to change until he and Sawyer had an honest, heart-to-heart conversation.

“You are the best thing to have happened to me, Kate. Hiring you and having you working by my side is exactly what I needed. I wish I could say we could expand to something more, but there are too many hurdles to overcome. I hope we can continue our positive work relationship and push the rest of this to the back of our minds. Are you okay with that?” Decker spoke professionally, no emotion, no indication of the feelings swirling inside; he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her until neither of them could catch their breath. Damn his rules.

Sadly, but with complete understanding, Katie smiled at him, “Yeah, Decker, I understand, and I think that’s probably for the best. I’m glad we spoke and got it all out there. We can’t work well together if there are secrets between us. But, seriously, promise me that you’ll talk to Sawyer. Soon.”

The sparks between them as their gazes met across the room belied their little agreement, but they continued about their day, pouring over reports and plans. Both of their brains insisted to their hearts that they could handle whatever was between them just fine; a working relationship was what had started first and it was all they could have. End of story.

**********

“Sawyer Nicholas Morgan! You need to talk to your brother NOW!” Katie smacked his shoulder as she spoke to him, and he hung his head. “First, I can’t believe he doesn’t know. Second, I can’t believe you’ve kept this from them. Third, surely they all have an inkling. Fourth, you have one of the best families in the history of families, they will love you no matter what. Fifth, Decker has feelings for me, and I have feelings for him, but he won’t disrespect you by asking me out. Oh, and the convenient little fact that we work together isn’t helping matters either.” She took a deep breath after releasing her faux fury on her best friend.

Smiling at her, Sawyer focused on the last part of her speech, since it was easier to face. “Does my best friend have feelings for my brother? Do you want to kiss him and love him and have his babies?” Seeing her feelings written clearly on her pretty face, he sobered a bit. “So, you really like Decker, huh? Wrong brother all those years ago? I have to be honest with you, Katie-girl, even if you remove me from the equation, I don’t see Decker breaking his rules. You’ll still be his assistant manager, and I don’t think he’ll pursue you.” He watched as his best friend raised her eyebrows, obviously waiting on him to address the other issue that stood like a huge white elephant in the room.

“I know, I know, I’ve wanted to talk to them all so many times over the years. Honestly, I wish someone would have just straight-up asked me about it because I can’t ever figure out a good time to bring it up. I truly think they will all eventually be okay with it; I just don’t want to cause any stress or problems for them with their friends or people in town. What if it causes problems at The Center+? It’s like this huge weight on my chest, but I don’t want to put the weight on them; it’s my issue, I should be the one who has to shoulder it. Right?” He hung his head, partially out of shame for being so much of a pansy that he couldn’t speak to his family and tell them the truth, partially out of fatigue, exhausted from carrying around a secret for so many years.

“No, Sawyer. They are your family, they love you. They’ve supported each other through a lot of ups and downs. I’ve heard the love stories of your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your parents, none of those times was easy. But, they loved each other and supported each other and made it through to a happier time on the other side. Share with them, let them support you. Even if some of them balk at first, I truly do think each and every one of them will eventually come around. But, you have to start with Decker; he’s your brother, your twin, your other half. He deserves to know and to hear it from you.” Katie hugged her friend tightly.

“He’s going to be so pissed. He was just talking today about how we don’t have secrets between us. And now I need to tell him something that is the mother of all secrets.” Sawyer knew Decker would be mad, but he thought he’d probably be hurt more than anything. They’d always shared everything, but Sawyer had been keeping something from him for many years.

“Yes, he’s going to be pissed. Decker doesn’t like secrets. But, I think he’ll be more pissed at himself for not realizing it sooner. You’ll throw him off-kilter for a while, and he doesn’t like the feeling of not being in control. But, he’s your brother, your biggest supporter, he’ll come around.” A kiss to his cheek and Katie turned to leave Sawyer with his thoughts. At the door she stopped, “Sawyer?”

“Yeah?” Sawyer was sitting on the floor, against the wall of the studio, looking like a lost little boy.

“Talk to him soon. I know he and I have some huge obstacles to get past, but I don’t need his loyalty to you being one of the hurdles I have to jump.” She spoke with a smile and a wink before leaving the studio.

With a deep breath, Sawyer steeled himself. It was time, past time, to talk to his brother. He promised himself he’d do it before a week was out. First Decker then the rest of his family. He’d never felt so anxious, excited, and sick to his stomach about something before, but Katie was right, he had to tell them.