Deep Blue Hold (Deep Blue Series) (11 page)

"When can I leave here?"
I ask as he covers me up, fussing over me to make me comfortable. 

"In the morning.
The doctor said once you were urinating you could go home, and well, you just did that." He gives me a half smile and crawls on the bed next to me holding me so tight, like if he doesn't I'm going to float away.

"Get some sleep
, baby, I will take you home in the morning," he says kissing my temple.  "I love you."  I hear him whisper just as I drift off to sleep. 

On the way home from the hospital Ian doesn't say much, but has my hand clenched tight in his.  I am not looking forward to what I am going to talk to him about when we get back to his place, but it's something that I have to do.  Yesterday was a huge wake up call for me, and for both of us it needs to be done.  Miry had called first thing that morning before we left the hospital and told me to call her later when Ian wasn't around.  Wasn't sure what that was about, but who knows with Miry. 

Ian carries me into the h
ouse and places me on the couch. He goes to move saying he's going to get me something to eat, but I grab his arm and motion for him to sit.

"Ian," I say and like he knows what's coming he puts his head down and starts shaking his head back and forth.

"No, Aubrey, no. Please don't tell me you're leaving me." He pleads, his head now in his hands.

"I'm not leaving, leaving you Ian.  I just think we need sometime apart."
The tears start rolling as soon as he looks at me, and I see the wetness in his eyes.  "I am going to go to New York and you're going to stay here."

"Why
, Aubrey, why?" He mutters desperately pleading me with his eyes.

"Because yesterday I realized something, we have been together 24/7 for over a month now.  And when you were with Michelle......"

"There is nothing with Michelle. I swear it was a long time ago, and there is nothing, Aubrey.  Please, baby, please." There are tears now streaming down his face that breaks my heart.

"I know baby, I know that you
would not cheat on me. There is just so much we don't know about each other, and the minute you started paying attention to another girl I had a nervous breakdown."  I am trying to let him know that this is about me being so selfish that I can't even share his attention for even a few moments.

"No, you had just seen something very disturbing
, and I wasn't there for you. I see it now.  I promise it will never happen again." He cries, "I'll fire Michelle, she means nothing to me.  We had a past, but you, baby, you are my present and future."

"It's not healthy for me to be so dependent on you for all my emotiona
l support. It's not fair to you either. I've already made arrangements. A car is going to pick me up in an hour." I am sobbing now and so is he. He looks at me like I tore his heart in two, and I feel the same way.

"I knew there was something with you
and Michelle right away. I mean, I know not right now, but there was.  Something very deep and special and you never told me." It hurts, it hurts that he shared something he only ever claims to have with me with another woman, and I need to sort this out in my head alone.

"No, we were undercover together that's all."
He says wiping tears from his eyes and bringing my hand up to his gorgeous lips. 

"You
never slept with her?" There it is, the look of guilt.  He shouldn't feel guilty about something that happened before he met me, and that is what makes me feel he is hiding something.

"Aubrey, please
. I will tell you everything, just don't leave."

"I need this tim
e, and so do you, Ian.  You have to know that what you had with Michelle was special.  She's still feeling it.  It was like I wasn't in the room."

"There's nothing
, I swear," he says staring at me.

"I'm not breaking up with you
, Ian.  I think it will be healthy to have some time apart.

"How long?"

"I don't know." With those three little words Ian changes, sadness turns to anger and rage.  He gets off the couch not looking at me, walking away.  Grabbing his keys, he is out the door with a slam and some loud curse words.

No goodbye, no fighting, no putting his foot down, and insisting I stay.  I don't know what I expected, but I did not expect this. 

I stare out the open
French doors in the bedroom waiting for my car to come take me to the airport.  Just a few days ago I was posing for a picture for Miry to paint, a birthday present for Ian.  I was nude, except for a blue silk scarf that covered the curve of my ass and the ends were held by one hand over my breasts.  It was tastefully done I thought, only a hint of nudity. 

I hear the door and assume it is the driver, but it's not just a k
nock.  Someone actually came in. Thinking it's Ian, I am relieved that he has returned.  I didn't want to leave things like that.  I didn't want to leave at all, but I just feel that some space would do us both some good. 

"Ian?"  I hear a woman's voice calling him from the front room.  Walking down the hall to see who it is
, I'm shocked and pissed to find Michelle standing in the middle of the room.  Keys in hand, she looks and sees me giving a smile.  "Oh, Aubrey.  I thought you'd be gone by now."  She's acting like it is a mistake that I have seen her here, but I'm pretty sure that was her plan.

"Sorry to disappoint you.  May I ask what you are doing here?"
I cross my arms standing firm even though the bottoms of my feet are killing me. 

"I've come to see my husband."
A snide smile spreads across her face. 

"Excuse me?"
I'm feeling weak and want to sit, but don't want to give her the satisfaction that she is making me flustered. 

"Oh I think you heard me just fine.  I guess it is time you learned the truth."  Every
one of her words come out like malicious jabs. 

"Are telling me that Ian is your husband?"
My mouth is dry and I feel dizzy.

"So you did hear me?
Yes we are separated, but I'm pretty sure he wants to get back together, since he just called me and told me you left.  Told me to get over here as soon as possible."  Jab, jab, jab. A knife feels like it's cutting me open.  She sits on the couch crossing her legs looking very victorious.  The same couch Ian and I had cuddled on two nights ago. 

"Why.....he told me...."
Words are not coming to me, I feel paralyzed.

"I'm sorry
, really, that you had to be put in the middle. I guess a meaningless fling with you is what he needed to realize what we had. I hope this doesn't sour you for all other men, honey.  Especially given your....ummm past." Her lips are moving, but I hardly hear what she is saying.  She is talking low like she was with Ethan in the board room now.  "I figured after the way he treated you like you were nothing in the meeting that you would see it on your own.  I guess some women just need to hear it straight on."  She stands walking calmly toward my shocked useless body. 

I want to scream
, I want to yell, I want to throw things at her.  All I can do is stand there stunned has hell.  I hear the horn outside, no less my driver to pick me up.  I walk into the bedroom, grab my bag, and walk back out. I'm not leaving without saying something. As the anger is burning me up, the shock is wearing off. 

"By the way, Michelle, t
ell Ian thanks for all the mind blowing orgasms, but I've had better."  I slam the front door behind me not even waiting for a response. 

After
I get in the car, I call the pilot.  "Change the flight plans, I'm going to Colorado." 

Chapter 14

Ian

I'm driving and I have no
idea where I'm going. I just know that I needed to get out of there.  "Shit!" I hit the steering wheel then pull into a little beach front bar.

I order a whiskey double a
nd down it immediately ordering another.  How did things change so fast, how in the hell did it get this way?  I can't blame Michelle, because it's my fault. 

"Hey h
andsome, want to buy me a drink?" A cute blonde comes up to the bar and flutters her eyelashes at me.  What the hell, I could use the company.  I motion to the bartender to get her whatever she likes.  She climbs onto the stool next to me and starts gabbing away. I immediately regret my decision. 

After about a half hour of her talking and me not saying a word she still doesn't pick up the hint.  "So, why is a tall
, dark, and handsome man like you need to drink his sorrows away?"

"Because he's a dense
, oblivious mother fucker." I hear a booming voice say, and I don't have to see Sam to know it's him. "Beat it blondie, me and my mate need to have a talk," Sam says bluntly. The blonde has her mouth open in shock staring at me to defend her honor, which I don't, and she scoffs off.

"How did you know I was here?
"  I turn to Sam's smug face.

"There is GPS on all the company cars, genius."

"But how'd you know to look for me?" I give him a screw off look.

"Miry talked to Aubrey.
Stepped in it good, didn't you?" Sam orders a whiskey, downing it to catch up with me. "Aubrey's a mess right now. Miry said she was crying so hard that she couldn't make out hardly a single word."

"Why didn'
t you tell me about Michelle?" I am pissed, and looking for someone to blame.

"I have a few times, but you blew me off
. Apparently you didn't care until now," he says downing his second whiskey.  

"You've never said anything."
I'm sure of it.

"Miry and I have both told you the feelings she has for you
, and that you were fueling them by the way you act with her. I was hoping that with Aubrey in the room you would wake up, but she didn't even exist to you." 

"Fuck man, what have I done?
"  I can't believe that I was so stupid.  "What do I do now?" I turn to Sam for his advice. 

"You get your stupid a
ss out of here, and go stop her," Sam says, and like that, I realize that I really didn't try to stop her.  Yes, I said please don't go, but I didn't fight. 

Driving like a mad man back to my house is a surreal experience. I pray to God she isn't gone, and that I let her walk out of my life like that.  That the last thing she saw was me stomping out of the house like a stupid idiot.

I rush in the house
and it's quiet.  There's not that presence of the love of my life in the kitchen cooking, or in the bedroom waiting for me.  The closet where she had so neatly hung her clothes up is now bare of anything Aubrey.  The bathroom is missing that woman's touch of make-up, shampoo, and other girly things. It is empty, the house and my heart.

It's like
it was all a dream, like Aubrey was a dream.  I can't reach out and touch her soft skin.  I can't pull her sexy body into mine and kiss her lips. 

I fall on the bed and l
and on her pillow smelling her.  Her flowery sweet scent is the only thing left of her in this house.  I didn't even say good bye, I stomped out of the house like a fifth grader slamming the door.  Jesus I am such a stupid idiot. 

I instantly grab my phone
and try calling her. I need to hear her voice so bad right now.  It goes straight to voice mail.  I know she should be in New York by now.  So I send her a text:

Just want to know you are safe in New York, Ian

I get an instant reply:

Ye
s

That's
it. A simple, one word, go fuck yourself, yes.  I throw my phone and it smashes into the wall shattering in a hundred pieces. 

*****
Read what happens next in Book # 3 Deep Blue Forever, Coming soon, February 2014

A special thanks to my editor,  Tara the Word Wench.  For her awesome services she can be contacted @  [email protected].

Other books by this Author:

Unbreakable, Cypress Grove Series.

Deep Blue Impact

© Copyright. Amie Nichols. 2013. All rights reserved.