Deep Dark Mire (An FBI Romance Thriller ~ book four) (21 page)

Maybe the entire trip here was worthless. All it cost her was her future
with Callen, any chance at family, and oh yeah, HER CAREER. Talk about making horrible choices.

Desdemona looked up at her grand'mere’s voice. Now all she needed was to hear the lecture from her.

“Girls, time to call it a night. This old woman has to make a list and get ready to go back out in the bayou in a couple days. I need Desdemona’s help tomorrow. She can’t come out and play.”

Both women laughed and hugged their
reacquainted friend.

“I’ll call you both,” she mumbled, as she held her head.

“Come on, Desdemona. I want to lock up.”

Doctor Desdemona
Adare was going inside, on a Saturday night, when her grand'mere told her to go to bed. Right now, she could be in bed with Callen Whitefox, and having mind shattering orgasms. What the hell was wrong with her?”

She was going to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist
, and soon. It was official. Now, she doubted her sanity.

                                *   *   *

Elizabeth carried in all the things she needed for the cleansing and dressing of Timothy. He wanted to wear his blue tribal regalia and his headdress, as he lay in interment. In his instructions, they were to each wear the family color. It was going to be a long day when they had to say goodbye.

It was something she wasn’t looking forward to either.

Looking at her watch, she had to get granddad cleaned and dressed into his regalia wear. This was going to be one of the hardest things she was going to have to do in her life.

She wouldn’t lie. I
f she didn’t promise the man already, she would have preferred to not be the one doing this. It wasn’t how she wanted to remember him at all. What she wanted was to recall the tattoo on his forearm that he showed her at her wedding. Reverently, he fingers ran over it as she traced the letters with her fingertip.

“I love you, Timothy Blackhawk. You are going to leave a giant hole in my heart. Since I first saw you with your arms crossed and trying to intimidate me, you didn’t have me fooled. I saw what a big old teddy bear you were.”

Elizabeth ran the brush though his gray hair and memorized the way it felt. It was exactly the same silkiness that she recognized from when she’d touched Ethan and Callen’s hair. Now she would commit it to memory, as she braided it for him, and weaved in the feathers that he’d had in the sealed garment bag.

“I hope I do you justice, Granddad. I hope that I can pull this off and make you proud. I swear to
God, you better be here for the entire ceremony, and not off chasing your beautiful wife around the happy hunting grounds.” Elizabeth laughed, feeling her eyes fill with tears.

“
Are you going to be okay?” asked Doctor Chris Leonard from the doorway of the morgue, as he listened to his friend speak to the dead.

“Right about now
, I’d have some joke, and make a comment to lighten the humor, but I’m not feeling it.”

“Want my help?” he inquired, stepping forward to stand by the man on the table.

“Yes, but you can’t. It’s his religious beliefs that no one touch the body until he crosses, and that means I have to do this on my own.”

Chris Leonard was accustomed to
death; he lived it every damn day. “How about I keep you company then until you’re done, and then I’ll get you a coffee, Lyzee?”

She really didn’t want to be alone right now. “Maybe you can check off everything on the list to make sure I don’t miss anything?” she asked, finis
hing the next braid, as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Okay and hey
, we have an iron in the lounge. How about while you prep him, I iron his regalia so he’s all nice and spiffy?”

Elizabeth laughed
through the sadness. “Thank you, Chris.” She moved to Timothy and kissed him on the cheek. “I appreciate it.” Gently, her fingers stroked his cooling face.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, Lyzee.”

When he left the room, she looked down at the man she loved, and held in the tears, the sorrow, and the pain. Now she needed to be the strong one.

“Okay,
Granddad, let’s get this done. You have a party to attend, and I’m sending you off in Blackhawk style.”

                                *   *   *

Sunday Early Morning

It was officially the longest night of her life. One would think prepping a body would be easy and then getting him dressed, but when the body weighed more than you, and no one could help you, it took forever.

Stumbling into the house,
Elizabeth deactivated the alarm, and dropped her purse by the door. Her keys followed, then her shoes, and immediately she headed right for the kitchen for some beloved coffee. God, what she would give to feel human right about now.

Elizabeth was a mom and
sleep was nothing anymore. She could function on very little, as long as she drugged herself up with caffeine. Pouring a cup she placed it on the counter and then just decided to lay her head on her arm.

Just for a few minutes.

She promised.

Ethan smelled the coffee and climbed out of bed. Someone got up with his son last night
. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure who, but he knew it wasn’t him. Creeping to his son’s room, he found CJ asleep lying on his uncle’s chest while they both snoozed in the chair.

The s
cene touched him that the man was caring for his nephew, even when he was beyond exhausted and in mourning too.  Carefully he picked his son up, and rocked him a little before putting him back into the crib to sleep some more.

When he glanced back
over, he found his brother staring at him. Callen’s eyes were tired and empty of all emotion but sadness over the loss of Timothy. He thought back to the words whispered in his ear as his grandfather succumbed to death.
‘Take care of your brother and share your life. You're all he has left. Don’t let him fall into the darkness. Let love lead the way.’

He didn’t need to be told that. Everything in him demanded he take care of his younger sibling. Ethan always felt proprietary towards his brother. Growing up as kids, they really were all they had. All his youth
was spent with the man sitting in his child’s nursery. They ran together, worked together, and lived together. Callen Whitefox wasn’t just a half-brother, he was completely his brother. There wasn’t anything in the world he wouldn’t do for him.

Blackhawk motioned for them to go downstairs for coffee and his brother nodded and followed. When they arrived down there, they found Elizabeth sitting at the island
, asleep. One of them should carry her upstairs and put her to bed for a little while. She was dead on her feet.

“No one move me. I’m trying to fool my body into thinking I have a snowball
’s chance in hell of making it through today,” she mumbled into her arm and still didn’t move. “If I don’t move, my brain may actually believe I fell asleep and that I don’t have a vicious case of jet lag either.”

“Baby, you have to sleep sometime,” he said, going over and touching her coffee cup. “It’s still hot. What time did you get back?” he asked, running his hands down her back.

“What time is it?” she asked, too tired to move her arm to look at her watch.

“Six twenty one.”

“I got home ten minutes ago,” she answered, still not moving. “I have to be out the door at nine to get to the mall. CJ needs something turquoise. I picked up Wyler’s tribal wear. It’s in the car. Callen, yours is in there too. Ethan your clothing is in our closet, left side behind my wedding dress. Not dress one but dress two. I have to manage to find something turquoise to wear myself.”

“You hate shopping.”

“I’m well aware of that fact, but I love granddad,” she said, lifting her head. “I’m giving him his final wish.”

Both men felt the grief and then it registered. “What the hell h
appened to your cheek?” Ethan went to her side and touched it.

“Desdemona may be little
, but she packs quite the slap. Don’t worry; some foundation will cover it right up and no one will notice it.”

Blackhawk erupted. “You think I’m worried about you covering it?”
he practically shouted.

Elizabeth and
Callen both jumped at the tone in his voice and the anger vibrating through the words.

“She’s fired.
I can’t and won’t overlook her putting her hands on you in the field.”

Elizabeth looked over at
Callen and saw the turmoil brewing in his eyes. Right then she did what she promised; Elizabeth protected and covered for him. “Then you have to fire me too, because I physically assaulted her too, when I shoved her into alligator infested water.”

Blackhawk was too close to the edge for this today. “When
granddad’s funeral is over, I will hear all about this from one or both of you,” he demanded, looking at both of them. “I’m emotionally bankrupt right now and can’t deal with it.”

“Okay Ethan,” she said, quietly.

“Lyzee, what can I handle for you today?” asked Whitefox, needing to be helpful. “I’m going crazy just sitting here.”

“There’s nothing left to do but clothing. I called the council, the
teepee is set up and ready to go for tonight. The women of the tribe are currently cooking up enough food for... a tribe. There are drummers and dancers. I ordered a headstone, and it matches your grandmother’s, but it won’t be ready for a couple of days. Apparently, granite is hard to carve and can’t be ordered on short notice. Go figure.”

“We would have helped you.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Granddad specifically listed what needed to be done, and that neither of you were to worry about it. You’re a control freak.” She pointed at her husband, “And he was worried about your heart.” Elizabeth pointed at Whitefox.

“What about you? You can’t do this alone.”

Elizabeth stood up and grabbed her coffee. “Wow, I must look pretty bad if Callen didn’t poach my coffee.”

Both men just
stared at her.

Yep, there was the confirmation.
“I’m going to shower and then get dressed to go shop. I have to get that finished before I can rest.”

“Thank you for taking care of him.”

She didn’t turn back around because if she did, she’d weep. The dead she was used to handling. Loving the man lying on the table in the morgue and having to care for him was brutal, but a promise is a promise. “Granddad looks really good, and he’d be happy that no one saw him at his weakest,” Elizabeth continued walking up the stairs to her son’s room. Peeking in, she blew him a kiss, and promised when this was all over he’d get some mommy alone time.

Callen poured himself a cup of coffee. “I hate shopping.”

“I like to shop, but you aren’t going to be standing her up in the shower. I'm tired but I’m not that tired.”

“Damn.”
Whitefox laughed. It was a pathetic attempt, but at least it was something other than tears and grief. “What if I close my eyes?”

“
Nice try, but here’s the game plan. You call Julian and see how he’s doing. I’ll go make sure she doesn’t fall in the shower. I’ll tuck her in, and you can have bed shift watching over her while she’s asleep. I’ll run out and get her something appropriate and for CJ too.”

“Okay. I’ll make breakfast.”

Now, Blackhawk laughed.

“What?”
he asked. “Lyzee taught me to cook. I can make us all something to eat.”

“My wife gets off on seeing you in a flowered apron, that’s why she offered to te
ach you to cook.”

Whitefox grinned
, and then the small lightness faltered, and he slipped back into grimness of devastation and pain.

“Come here
,” Blackhawk ordered, pulling his brother into his arms and hugging him. “We’ll get through this and you are never going to be alone.”

It staggered Callen that his brother knew exactly what he was so afraid of in his heart. He loved the old man, but now it was like his only parent was gone
, and he was abandoned. Wyler was his biological father but Timothy raised him. “I don’t know if I can get through this, Ethan. I feel so damn empty.”

“You have Elizabeth and me.”

“I don’t want to live on the Rez. I can’t bear thinking about it.” His body shook when he let out a breath.

“You don’t have to live there, Cal. You have a bedroom right here.” From the way his brother was speaking, he assumed he wasn’t going back to Desdemona’s either. “You have a home here with us.”

Callen looked up at his brother and wiped his eyes. “You’re really lucky. Elizabeth is pretty special, and you picked an amazing wife. The woman I picked didn’t even care to come back with us. No text. No call. I think I rushed into it and made a huge mistake,” he finally confessed out loud.

Ethan suspected
, as did his wife and their granddad, but it wasn’t their business to intervene. “We’ll work through it.”

“I have to go back and help her out, and then find closure there too.”

Blackhawk nodded. “We’ll finish it up together,” he added, starting towards the stairs and his wife.

“Why? You both obviously dislike her
now.”

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Because Cal, we’re Blackhawks. We finish what we start, we stand together, and
no matter what, ‘
The Three Musketeers’
always have each other’s backs.” His brother gave him a reassuring grin and then bounded up the stairs.

All Callen could think
was, ‘
thank God that his mother knew who knocked her up all those years ago
.’

He won the family lottery.

Elizabeth stood under the hot spray and closed her eyes. Her mind was going a mile a minute, checking all the items off her mental list, and making sure she had it all done. When her husband’s hands slid around her waist, it caught her off guard. And when his lips left a trail along her neck and shoulder, a shudder went through her body.

“I missed you baby,” he whispered, knowing exactly what she needed to stop thinking and focus on herself briefly.

Elizabeth enjoyed the feel of her husband’s hands on her body; it was the perfect distraction when she needed it. When he began washing her hair, she was in complete heaven. The man had amazing fingers. A moan left her lips, and she could feel his body go taut behind her. Maybe it could be a distraction for them both.

She stepped under the water and the shampoo rinsed free from her hair, sliding silkily down her body
, and she looked over at him. He was most definitely her warrior. The tattoos across his body heated her blood, and gave her peace when she was experiencing turmoil.

“I need you now, Elizabeth,” he said
.

She simply nodded
, and they rushed each other. It felt like months, not days since she touched her husband. He picked her up and Elizabeth wrapped her long legs around his waist, trapping his erection between them.

Now
would come the heat, the need, and the fire of mouths doing battle, going to war to win the ultimate prizes. Peace, comfort and solace in each other’s arms.

Hands roamed
while mouths stayed fused, as they sought and found what they desired most.

They needed e
ach other and comfort, lost in moments of raw need.

“God baby, I missed you,” he muttered
, as her mouth did wild things with his.

“Ethan, I missed all of you
.” She ran her fingers across the tattoo of the raven and her name and felt peace.

He moved to the bench in the shower and sat, holding her on his lap. “I want to bury myself in my wife and forget for a while.” And then he slid into the warmth of woman and was suddenly at peace
, as he found home.

“Ethan,” she moaned, as he slid in achingly slow.

“Ride me, Elizabeth,” he whispered, resting his head against the tile, eyes open so he could watch the woman who owned his heart and soul do what she did best.

Captivate him.

Distract him.

Heal him.

Elizabeth began the slow, wet glide up and down his body, moving in a way she knew would torture her husband. Already
, his body shook beneath her.

“So good
, baby!” The words came out as a moan as she punctuated each glide with grinding down when she reached the base. “Christ, you undo all the knots that tie me up.”

Elizabeth was too distracted to speak. The feel of her husband in her body was all she wanted and needed. Right now she just needed to feel something other than loss
and complete emptiness.

Then she began moving faster, taking what she needed to block out the previous day and night.

Blackhawk couldn’t get past the complete pleasure. Here was a gorgeous woman bouncing in his lap and offering his body immeasurable amounts of pure ecstasy. “Close Elizabeth,” he warned.