Defiant Surrender (7 page)

She slumped into a large chair and tried to make sense of it all. A gust of heat from the roaring fire nearby heated her cheeks as her mind fought with the possibilities. What was happening? Was all this some sort of reincarnated life? Everyone here certainly saw her as the Lady Madeline. So she must look like her. And the people in the painting were most assuredly her parents. So maybe somehow people were not only reborn over and over again, but continued to have the same family repeatedly?

No, that couldn’t be right.

“Some refreshments are being brought in, Lady Madeline,” said Mistress Rhode as she lowered herself onto a wooden chair next to the hearth and held her hands to the flames. “Does your home seem familiar to you, my dear? If you have not recovered your memory by spring, I will consult my mother. She normally passes through this area during that time of year. She may know if there is anything to be done. Is that agreeable to you, m’lady?”

Maddie smiled over to her, and nodded.

“That’s fine, Mistress Rhode, do as you will, but I believe nothing can be done. I have no memory of this home or the land surrounding it. I only remember my life before, and that existence did not occur in 1102.”

She paused as she sipped the fruity mead handed to her by a servant. Thanking the maid, Maddie frowned when the girl appeared stunned by the gesture before scuttling off. Why did people keep running away from her like that?

“One thing I will admit to, Mistress Rhode, is the couple before us in that painting are indeed my parents. Their clothing may be unfamiliar to me, but otherwise they are most definitely a familiar pair.”

“Lady Madeline,” her maid gasped, “Do you still think yourself from the future? Surely not. I’m sure given time, your memory will return and all this worry will be for naught.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. I’m not sure what the other Lady Madeline was like, but surely you must see how different we are. My actions, my speech. Your Lady Madeline was a powerful baron’s daughter. A lady of the first water. I’m,” she said, clasping her hand to her heart, “the only daughter of a teacher and a housewife. I went to a public school, wore hand-me-down clothes and now run an antique store for a living. I have no social graces, and I do not remember anyone or anything here at Aimecourt, or at Kingston castle for that matter.”

Mistress Rhode pursed her lips. “It is true, m’lady, that you hit your head. Perhaps worse than I first thought. But you are the Lady Madeline in features. There is perhaps,” she frowned, “a certain coarseness now about your manner of speech and graces that had never been there before. But that is nothing that cannot be fixed.”

Maddie nibbled on a por
tion of bread and sipped her mead. “What was the Lady Madeline you knew like?”

Mistress Rhode sighed and sat back within her chair. “A tyrant, just as her father was. The property was always to be hers, or any sons she may have. Lady Madeline’s tutelage was thorough and hard. Your former self would never have said thank you to a mere vassal for anything. So it does not surprise me, m’lady, if your people are a little in awe and wary of you.”

Maddie nodded, understanding now what William had meant by his dig at her in the carriage. It also explained why whenever she used her manners people looked at her as if they were waiting for another person to appear.

“Perhaps something did happen in that carriage, that neither you nor I can explain, Lady Madeline. But you are a kind and considerate woman. Whilst Lady Madeline of old, the woman I had protected all of those years past, was mean, uncharitable, and hard.”
Mistress Rhode paused, her attention fixed on the flames as she spoke. “I had at times even felt sorry for Lord William. I knew Lady Madeline would not make an easy wife.” She chuckled. “It seems even the new one will not.”

Maddie’s smile fell short as she sat forward. “This time in history scares me, Mistress Rhode. I haven’t had the Lady Madeline of old’s upbringing, nor do I know what I’m doing. I’m lost.”

“I will admit, m’lady, that you are changed, but not for the worse. You may lack some of the social graces appropriate to your status, but that is easy to overcome.” Her maid leant forward and clasped her hand. “You must promise me not to speak of your concerns or former life with anyone other than myself. It reeks of witchcraft, and if you are in fact from the future, you know what happens to such unfortunates.”

Maddie’s stomach knotted. “I understand. But you will promise to ask your mother, when you see her, what could be done to return me home?” Maddie asked.

“Of course, my dear,” she replied, smiling.

They sat in silence and watched as their trunks were carted through the hall toward the winding stone staircase.

“Mistress Rhode, while I’m here, there is something I must find, or at least try to find. You see, the day I returned to 1102, I had found an ancient ring, buried on the shore of the Thames River in London. It was a wedding ring of sorts, one made of pewter with an inscription inside. When I placed the ring on my finger, the next thing I was conscious of was sitting on the carriage floor talking to you. I am hopeful that…that if I find this ring, I will find a way back home.”

Her maid frowned and held her response as the food platter was placed before them. “We shall look for the ring anon, child. Never fear, all will be well in time. But I pray your mind is confused as I would not want to lose you.”

Maddie clasped her maid’s hand, oddly touched by the sincerity in her words. “Nor do I wish to lose you, Mistress Rhode. Thank you for being my friend.”

*

Neither saw nor heard the woman who had listened to their damning conversation. The maid, dressed in nondescript clothes, smiled, a malicious tilt to her thin lips. The information would be quite useful to Her Ladyship and could possibly afford her a valuable trinket or gold coin once repeated. She allowed the shadows to close over her as she stepped out of the castle and headed toward the hidden exit near the guard’s gate.

She smiled as her mind filled with all the pretty things she could buy. How Her Ladyship would be pleased once she hears of the Lady Madeline’s strange musings and dilemma. She snorted, all of it was codswallop, the Lady Madeline’s mind was addled by a knock, and that was all. But she’d enjoy seeing the lady hang or burn for witchcraft, she knew where her loyalty lay and it was not at Aimecourt.

It wasn’t until the evening meal that Maddie saw William again. Earlier in the day, he had moved into her father’s bedchamber. A room joined to hers by an interlocking door. Upon entering her bedroom, Maddie’s first action was to lock that connecting door. After their kiss in the woodshed, she would take no further chances with the man.

Tonight Maddie was dressed in a silver-threaded gown, with sleeves almost the same length as the dress itself. Blue and purple thread was skilfully stitched around the plunging neckline and ends of her sleeves. The hem of the gown was adorned with beautiful hand stitching. She couldn’t help but love the dress. It was surely the most gorgeous thing she had ever worn.

“Do not forget your rosary, m’lady.”

Maddie frowned and turned back from the door. Walked to her trunk and snatched up the beaded necklace made of ribbon. “Do I have to wear it all the time?” she asked, placing it over her head.

“Lady Madeline was a devout Catholic. ’Twould be wise, I believe, to continue her religious beliefs,” Mistress Rhode said.

“So I have to attend church every Sunday?”

Her maid smiled then bent to stoke the fire. “Nay child, not every Sunday.”

Maddie sighed in relief. “Thank God.”

“You must attend mass at dawn, followed by your prayers. Then mid-morning prayers before your midday meal. Evening prayer is held before supper in the hall. Followed by your bedtime prayers.”

Maddie laughed. “You’re joking, right? I have to pray four times a day!” She shook her head in disbelief. “Mistress Rhode, I’m not even christened.”

“Well, consider yourself so now, m’lady. Now, you had best leave, supper is about to be served.”

Oh gosh, and Maddie thought the mirror water bowl was ridiculous.

*

Maddie basked in the warmth that seeped into her bones from the well-stoked fire situated behind the raised dais she now sat. She watched, seated like a queen over the absurd proceedings in the hall. The pomp and ceremony almost made her laugh. Really, it was too much for her common soul. Her husband had no such reactions; he was completely in his element. She peeked at his handsome features and strong jaw, which tonight sported a five o’clock shadow. His hair was newly cut to the cropped style the Normans favored. William fit the part of medieval lord to a tee, strong, hard and unforgivably handsome. He spoke with authority and power to his knights and their ladies seated at the table.

The meal was delicious. Almost every bird in existence was served: pheasant, chicken, duck, and turkey adorned the table along with fruits and cheeses and the ever-present mead. Maddie had grown accustomed to the beverage. Although she preferred it made with hops, which was much more palatable as the end-product tasted like beer.

She studied the hall, and noted the knights who she presumed to be her own. Although they ate and spoke to everyone, their reserved interactions with her husband’s men were obvious. An air of unease floated in the air and Maddie, not for the first time, wondered why.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Lady Madeline?”

Maddie looked to William and tried to form a smile, the gesture a half-hearted effort. “Of course, my lord, why wouldn’t I? I am home, back within the bosom of my own people. How could I not be content?”

“Is that how you inform me you are not content at Kingston, my dear?”

“Please do not call me by such endearments, I do believe their falseness will make me vomit,” she said, thanking a servant as they handed her some bread, before looking back at her incredulous husband.

“Pray tell me, Lord William, how do you like my home? Is it everything promised upon marriage to a rich man’s daughter?”

“No, I find not only the home but its occupants lack taste and refinement.”

“Well, that is a shame. If you dislike it so much, maybe you should leave and return to Lady Veronica, who no doubt misses you greatly. Ah, but…” she said, tapping her finger against her lip, “alas, perhaps not. She’s undoubtedly otherwise occupied bedding every other male within your walls while you’re away. You know what they say, when the cat is away the mice—”

“You are lucky, Lady Madeline, that no one can hear your vulgar words. You may be a powerful baron’s daughter but you mouth is unusually common.”

“I resent that greatly, my lord. In fact, you have insulted me. Please do not speak to me again—ever,” she said, looking him dead in the eye and not sounding at all wounded by his words. It really was quite entertaining vexing the man. She supposed she could push him too far one day and end up dead. But better dead than caught for life in this forsaken time. She chewed her food and wondered if that was how she could return home? If something were to happen to her here would she then be catapulted back through time? Maddie pursed her lips as the thought took hold. Her now bristling husband beside her, completely forgotten.

“When we return to our quarters tonight, I would like a word with you, Lady Madeline. So you will unlock the connecting door and allow me entry. Do not fear that I will ravish you, my minds repulsed at the thought of such an activity.”

Maddie inclined her head in what she hoped was a regal gesture, while her knees trembled beneath the table. She didn’t want him in her room, or anywhere near her for that matter. Somehow, he brought out the worst in her, always caused her to bristle. Too male, too controlling and the masculine pride was suffocating in the extreme. And, over the days and weeks since their marriage, she had poked fun and distaste at his every word or gesture. Perhaps he was not always so vile, but as he allowed his mistress to reside with them, it was too much for her twenty-first century pride to allow. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t staying, it was wrong of him to impose such
behaviors on whoever he married.

“As you wish, my lord.”

“I do,” he said, before he turned and summoned a servant for more wine.

Maddie finished her meal, stood and withdrew from the room. She ignored the startled faces of her people when she pushed back her own chair. While she was able, she would do that herself, no matter what anyone else thought. She walked upstairs, and allowed the argument with William to recede in her mind. Mistress Rhode had promised her earlier today that she could take a bath in her room after supper. Maddie had thought to use the communal bathing chamber, but then changed her mind. At least in her room she could lock her doors and take as long as she’d like.

A little later, she sank within the warm scented water and sighed in pleasure. The tub was round, not overly large but big enough to submerge herself, if she bent her knees. Mistress Rhode had insisted on washing her hair before Maddie convinced her she could well and truly dry and dress herself, and dismissed her dear maid for the night.

Maddie relaxed back in the bath, with her knees and shoulders the only parts uncovered by water. Sleep beckoned with the help of the lavender scent that wafted from the water. All too soon, the water cooled and Maddie stirred to get out. As she reached for her towel, she cringed when her hands met nothing but wood. She swore and looked for the elusive linen before seeing it lying on her bed.

Nothing else for it, she stood and allowed the excess water to run from her skin. Just as she stepped upon the bear skin rug, she gasped as her door flew open and her husband burst in. They stood rooted on the spot; Maddie from incredulity and William, it seemed, from sheer shock. Maddie refused to panic; instead, she walked as casually as she could, under the circumstances, to the bed and grabbed her towel. She shook it out, before folding it around her body and facing him.

“If you do not mind, my lord, I would prefer no one else to see my state of undress.”

“Why did you not leave the connecting door unlocked…wife?”

She sighed at his menacing tone. “It was an honest mistake. I merely forgot.” She walked over to the fire for warmth, unwilling to dress with him in her room.

“Now that you are here, Lord William, what was it you wanted to discuss?”

“Is that all the excuse I’m to hear? A mere mistake?” He
laughed the sound mocking as he joined her at the hearth. “Come, my lady, do you deny this plan to entrap me with your charms?”

Maddie frowned and looked up at him as she dried her hair. “Entrap you? Ahh,” she smiled. “You think highly of yourself, Lord William. You think I left the main passageway door unlocked so you would storm in without knocking and find me unclothed and in a bath. Come now, we are married and I am not ashamed of my body, but even I wouldn’t stoop to sleep with you. As far as I’m concerned we are married in name only, you take your pleasure elsewhere and no doubt, eventually, so will I. And I can guarantee you, my lord, it will never be with you.”

A chill ran down her spine as the last of her words left her lips. William’s face mottled in anger. The change in his mannerisms gave her an overwhelming urge to run. She swallowed her panic as he closed the space between them in lightning speed and pulled her hard against his muscled chest. She froze then gasped as his hands ripped the towel from her body, leaving her as bare as the day she was born. Oh crap, I’m in trouble now.

His long
woolen tunic couldn’t mask the hardness that sat against her stomach. Her chest flattened against his, and she struggled for air. His large, strong hands flexed against her flesh as they roamed over her body and slid down her back to clasp her buttocks. The stubble on his jaw rubbed against her cheek as he bent down to her neck. She heard the intake of breath, as he smelled her skin. Even she could smell the floral aroma, left from the bath. Maddie shivered, hoping the action was repulsion, but knowing in a small part of her mind that it was in pleasure.

“I could take you, Lady Madeline. Conquer you so you could never speak to me with such hate and abhorrence again. I could make you want only me.”

She swallowed as her nipples hardened to tight little peaks. Why was his tunic open? Please God, say she hadn’t done that herself. The coarse black hair tickled her skin and she shivered. Her mouth dried as his hands travelled further between the valley of her thighs. Hot wetness pooled at her core. Maddie fought her desire, hated her reaction to him. His warm breath hitched as he kissed her shoulder. His tongue ran up the length of her neck and caused the most delicious sensations, all of which she tried to ignore.

He pulled back, his gaze searching, but for what, Maddie didn’t know. She looked at him, unsure of his next move, but secretly hoping he would not stop. She should stop him, should not allow him to seduce her. But as his lips, soft and beckoning, settled over hers, all such thoughts disappeared.

She moaned when their lips met. Fire ran down her spine, igniting a wild need within. She allowed his tongue to caress hers until she all but clung to him in need. She could feel his hardened penis strain against his clothing. She wanted him. Wanted desperately for release. Wanted to be filled over and over again by this man.

He nibbled her bottom lip. Maddie opened her eyes and caught his wicked, heated gaze. She clasped his jaw, and pulled him back to kiss her, needing to feel his tongue and lips demand her own. She purred when he pulled her against his engorged member, his mouth suckling her bottom lip in a beckoning manner. Her breath caught in her throat, and William swallowed her moan as his fingers teased the moist apex between her legs. Maddie shuddered.

How was it possible the man in her arms, the same one who irritated, argued and hated her, could conjure such wants and needs from her body?

His hand clasped the hair at the nape of her neck in an almost punishing hold, and his kiss turned savage. She whimpered and wrapped her leg around his waist, opening to more of his touch. His chest was hard, all heaving muscle that moved beneath her palm. A man who fought battles to the death and lived in an unforgiving time only made him more desirable. Maddie fumbled with the knot on Williams hose and shivered when his manhood sprung free.

Her desire for him consumed her and she rubbed against his ample sex seeking release. A fire burned within her soul; a blaze that only William could extinguish. Never had Maddie acted with such wantonness before, but never had she felt such need in her life either. It was a sobering thought.

William tore away from the kiss and pushed her aside. Maddie stumbled before she righted herself and watched as he stormed from her room. Shocked, she stood still for a moment then without conscious thought threw on her silver surcoat and ran after him.
He couldn’t just do that to her, and then leave with no explanation.

She stepped off the stone stairs in the great hall and caught sight of him heading toward the entrance doors leading to the keep. She hastened to follow him then stopped when she reached the front steps of the castle.

A pain she shouldn’t feel ran through her paralyzing everything but her vision. She watched incredulous, as the man who, not minutes before had been kissing her, about to make love to her, walked into a cottage behind a young woman. Nausea settled in her stomach. How could she have let him hold and kiss her body as she had? How could she have acted with such stupidity? Maddie wanted to wash away the filth of his touch. At that moment, she could almost feel sorry for Lady Veronica.

First thing tomorrow, the search for her ring would start in earnest and William could go to hell. Shutting the castle doors, she walked back to her room with renewed
vigor and relief. Glad she hadn’t slept with a man who tumbled any woman who stepped before him.