Defying Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC Series Book 3) (22 page)

I don’t even know the list of my injuries but I can still feel them all. I have at least three broken fingers, broken ribs, bruised insides, and massive gashes on my legs and head. Now, I can add mental status to that long list. It’s going to take me a long time to get better, but I want to get better. Not just for me, but for my family. I know they all must have been scared shitless and freaking out over my behavior. I don’t want them to have to worry about me. I just want to get better and move on from this.

Movement catches me attention and I turn my head to see which one of the two is waking up. Louie stirs and seems to try to get comfortable, but then gives up on that hope. Opening his eyes, he doesn’t notice I’m awake yet.

“Louie,” I whisper, not wanting to wake Dani up but not being able to stay quiet either.

Whipping his head toward me, as soon as his eyes land on mine, he’s jumping up to rush toward me, but he ends up limping. Looking closer, I see him in a cast. What the hell happened to him?

“Harlow! Are you okay?’ he rushes out, not seeming to care that his outburst woke Dani up.

“I’m fine, Louie. But are
you
okay? What happened to your leg?” I ask, worried about him.

Waving my question off, he takes my hand. “It’s nothing, babe. Just a sprain,” he says, but I know he’s not telling me the truth. They don’t put a full cast on you for a sprain, but I don’t push him.

Smiling, I just stare into his eyes. He saved my life. I’m just so glad that he’s all right and here with me.

Clearing my throat that is clogged with emotion, I say, “I’m gonna be just fine.” And I know I will be. With everyone I care about by my side, and time, I’ll be perfect. I’ll make sure of it.

***

Louie

Dani insisted that she stay with Harlow and I make my way up to the ICU while Harlow was sleeping. I was torn between what I should do; I didn’t want to leave Harlow, fearing that she’d have a breakdown again and I wouldn’t be there, and needing to see Mack. I know he’s still unconscious and he needs that time to heal, but I need to see him for myself to know he’s okay.

Opening the door quietly, I see Blaze sitting beside Mack. “Hey, brother. How is he doing?” I ask, walking further into the room.

“No change yet. He’s still sleeping. The doctors keep saying that he’ll wake up soon, but he’s not,” Blaze says with worry evident in his voice.

Taking a seat on the other side of the bed, I look at Mack as I talk. “He’ll be fine. He’s just resting, building up his strength. He’ll wake up when he’s ready,” I say, trying to sound confident. Though I try to believe what I just said, a part me has some doubt. Mack isn’t old by any means, but what if the trauma was just too much for him? Or what’s more, what if he wakes up and he’s paralyzed? How will he get over that?

“Yeah, man. You’re probably right,” Blaze replies, interrupting my negative thoughts.

A few minutes later, Blaze stands up. “You good here with him for a little while? I want to go check in on Dani and call Sara to check on the kids.”

Nodding, I wave him off. “Yeah, brother. Do what you need to do. I’ll sit with him.”

After closing the door behind him, I sit here quietly just looking at Mack. I wish he’d wake up already. I know I told Blaze we had to be patient, just like we have to be patient with Harlow, but that was me talking crap. What I really want is for him to open his eyes and tell me to grow a pair and quit acting like a bitch. Yeah, that’s what I need.

When the silence is finally too much for me, I lean forward and take his hand. “Hey, Mack,” I start, feeling stupid at first for talking to someone who isn’t even awake, but decide to continue on. “Harlow’s gonna be all right. You were right, she’s strong. Though she has a long road ahead of her and there was more damage than we thought, she’s a fighter. And I know with everyone supporting her, she’ll be fine.”

As I think about what else I want to say, I resituate my leg. It’s starting to pound, but I don’t want to take pain meds. I don’t want to get loopy.

“I got caught in a burning building again,” I say, then chuckle. “I know, it’s my thing, right? At least this time I wasn’t knocked out, though maybe that would have been better. Then I wouldn’t have the images of Harlow bleeding all over and thinking she was dead constantly bombarding me.” I still can’t get that scene out of my head and I doubt I will for a long time.

“And then I find out that you were shot. Scared the shit outta me. Brought back all the memories of the last time I was in a burning building and I woke up to finding out Lyle was dead.” Lyle was a close friend of mine, not just a brother. I still miss him to this day. I know he’s looking down on us all though and laughing at me. Probably telling me to quit being a pussy.
Asshole
.

Sighing, I drop my head. “I’ve got a lot of makin’ up to do. Not just with Harlow, but with you. I realized yesterday that I’ve been really shitty these past few years. To be honest, probably since the beginning. I thought with my dad gone that place in my heart would always be void and the pain would always be there. But that’s not necessarily true. I miss my dad like crazy, but through that pain and loss, I found you. Or rather,
you
found
me
. And I know I don’t say it a lot, but I want you to know how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. The kindness you’ve shown me. But most of all, for filling that void. I love you, old man.”

“Love you too, son,” Mack says in a scratchy voice.

Jerking my head up, I see that he’s awake. Barely, but he’s awake.

“Now quit acting like a bitch and get me some water, would ya?”

Epilogue

Harlow

Today I get released from the hospital. It’s been a long two weeks with lots of physical therapy for my leg and talking to therapists for my PTSD, but I’m more than ready to go home. I’m not one hundred percent yet, but I’ll get there.

Louie is signing my release papers and then he’ll be bringing a wheelchair for me. I still have some trouble walking on the leg Titus drove his knife into because I have some nerve damage, but I don’t think I need a wheelchair. Louie, on the other hand, wants me to take it easy as much as possible. Plus, since we’re going to up see Mack before we leave the hospital, it might not be a bad idea.

A few minutes later, Louie comes walking into the room. “Ready, babe?” he asks with a huge smile on his face. Yeah, he’s happy I get to come home too.

“Yeah. More than ready,” I say, standing up from the bed to walk to where he’s standing, but he rushes toward me, halting my progress.

“Whoa, Harlow. You can’t be doing shit like that. I got the wheelchair for a reason, babe.”

Ugh, this is going to get old real fast.

“Louie, I love you dearly, but if you don’t back the fuck off I’d fear for your life,” I say. I appreciate everything he’s trying to do, but I need time to heal and exercise, not to be babied.

“I’m sorry. I just worry you’re going to overdo it,” he says sheepishly.

Pushing up onto my toes, I kiss his lips. “I know. And I love you for it, but I’m fine. Promise.” I kiss him once more, then take a seat in the wheelchair to make him happy. “Now take me to see Mack, slave.”

Laughing, he takes a bow. “Yes, ma’am!”

Five minutes later, we arrive at Mack’s room, but before we’re able to make it inside, a woman giggling stops us.

Looking silently up to Louie, I smile. I wonder who that could be.

“Knock knock,” I say before I take the reins on the wheelchair and head inside. Nurse Rose is beside Mack’s bed, pretending to check his vitals, but I know better. I just wish she’d stop pushing him away when he gets too close.

“Hey, you!” I say before standing up and walking over to him to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Harlow!” Louie chastises me, but I ignore him. He’s going to have to get used to it.

“I hear you’re getting released for good behavior today,” Mack says, smiling warmly at me.

“You heard right! I can’t wait to get home and take a nice hot shower and eat some real food. No offense,” I say the last part to Nurse Rose.

“None taken, honey.” She laughs, then the smile falls from her face and she turns to Mack. “All right, Mr. DeVin, make sure you do those exercises the physical therapist gave you.”

“Will you spank me if I’m a naughty boy and don’t follow the rules?” Mack teases, but it has no effect on her.

“No. I’ll send Nurse Helga in here to punish you for not following the rules,” she says, then turns to leave, but not before winking at me. Yeah, there’s something going on between them. She’s the perfect match for him too.

Turning back to Mack, I see him pouting, watching her leave. “Come on, Mack. Put the lip away.” I pat his hand. “And you better do as she says, otherwise you’ll have to deal with more than just Nurse Helga,” I threaten, though nothing is worse than Nurse Helga. She’s eighty years old and meaner than a hornet. I would know, she’s been my nurse a few times.

“Okay! Enough with the threats. I’ll do the damn exercises. Not like it’s gonna change anything, though.” He adds the last part softer, like he didn’t want me to hear.

Mack got shot in the back and the bullet nicked his spine. They did surgery to remove it and repair any damage, but some of the nerves were hit. They think that with enough physical therapy he’ll be able to walk again, but so far, he still doesn’t have feeling in his legs. And hearing him doubt that he’ll walk again makes me want to cry. Seeing him so down and unable to do what he loves is hard. I wish there were something I could do or say to make this better for him or fix him.

“Enough with the depressing crap. You two get outta here. I’m sure you have more pressing things to do besides sit here with an old cripple all day,” Mack says, giving Louie a meaningful look. I have no idea why or what it means.

I open my mouth to argue, but the look I get from Mack warns me not to. He’s more irritable lately, but I don’t blame him. But I will be having a talk with him soon about his attitude toward himself and about getting better.

“We’ll see you soon, okay?” I give him one more kiss, then sit back down in the wheelchair to wait for Louie to say his goodbye.

***

Louie

I hate seeing him like this, but I know he’ll be all right. He’s tough and he’s stubborn. He won’t let this keep him down for long.

“Oh, and Louie? Tell Blaze to give me a call. I want to check in and see what’s been going on with the Kings,” Mack tells me before we leave the room.

“Yeah, will do,” I say.

Blaze is acting President while Mack is out of commission. Mack was the one who voted him in, but everyone was happy with the decision. Blaze is perfect for the job, though we all hope Mack gets back on his feet soon.
Literally
.

Wheeling Harlow down the hall toward the elevator, she waits till the doors close before the first tear falls. She always gets like this when we see Mack.

“Hey, it’s all right, babe. He’s got this,” I say as I lean down and kiss her cheek. A part of her blames herself for what happened to him, but no one else does. None of this was her fault. It was that bastard, Titus. May he
not
rest in peace, but burn in hell.

“I know. It’s just hard seeing him like that—bed ridden. I’m so used to seeing him up and about, lively and joyful.”

“Give him some time. He’ll be back to being a pain in my ass before you know it.”

***

We’ve been in the truck for about fifteen minutes now and she hasn’t even noticed that we aren’t heading home yet.

I’ve been planning this since before she was taken, but it was supposed to be bigger and happier. But I think this is exactly what she needs right now. Something to mark her next step forward.

Pulling into the cemetery, she finally snaps outta whatever thoughts were keeping her prisoner inside her head and notices where we are.

“What are we doing here?” she asked, confused and a little leery.

“I wanted to show you something,” is all I tell her, wanting it to be a total surprise.

Pulling in next to Toby and Blaze’s bikes, she sees Dani and Sara standing by a plot.

Instead of asking more questions, she just waits for me to get the wheelchair out of the back and come around to her side.

She’s still quiet as we make our way toward the others and I start to think that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe it’s too soon. With everything she’s dealing with and her PTSD, this probably isn’t smart. But it’s too late to turn back now.

When we stop in front of the two headstones, she gasps and starts to cry when she sees the headstones.

Hendrix Matthew McPherson–

Loving brother and protector

Rayanne Marie Gregerson–

Loving sister and friend

We all stay quiet for a while as she soaks this all in. She only mentioned doing something like this in passing, probably never thought I’d take what she told me and make it real this fast. If she only knew it was ready weeks ago.

Finally, she speaks. “When did you do this?” She hasn’t lifted her eyes from the stones but I don’t mind.

“While you were in the hospital,” I say, and it’s not a complete lie, I did set most of it up then.

“But why?” she asks, though I don’t see how she doesn’t already know.

Stepping around her and kneeling so I’m in front of her, I make sure she looks at me before I reply. “Because, babe. You deserve this.
They
deserve this. After you mentioned it to me, I wanted to do this for you. I thought it would be the perfect place for you to come to be close to them, to talk to them when you want to. And because I love you, Harlow.”

Now she’s crying even harder, but I think they are tears of joy, not tears of sadness. She’ll always miss her brother, just like I miss my father, but she can finally heal. And I’ll be there every step of the way.

“Thank you,” she cries, then leans forward so she’s in my arms.

“You’re welcome, Harlow,” I say, then pull back so she can look in my eyes as I say the next part. “I’ll do anything to make you happy, to keep you safe, and to give you everything you ever want and deserve. I love you.” Then I lean forward and kiss her on the lips.

Nobody says much, well, we don’t really say anything at all. We bow our head and each stay silent but supportive. This is for Harlow. It’s for her brother and their adoptive sister. They deserve so much more than a small gathering, but it’s the best we could do with what we were given. I just hope it’ll be enough for Harlow. I want this to be a place she can come to when she wants to be close to her brother.

When I feel her shoulder start to shake under my hand, I decide to say a few words for her. I don’t know what they hell I should say, but I need to do this for my girl.

Clearing my throat, I start, “I didn’t know either of you, but I know by what my woman has said that you were pretty amazing people. You had a shit hand dealt to you and for that I’m sorry. But I also want to thank you for protecting Harlow. What you both did saved her, and for that, I owe you my life.”

Harlow silently continues to cry, but she’s looking up at me like I’m her salvation. And fuck me, I want to be that for her. I want to be her every-fucking-thing. I don’t know what I would do without her or what I would have done if something tragic had happened to her like what happened to her brother and foster sister. I meant what I spoke, I owe them my life for what they did for her. For protecting her when I wasn’t able to.

Knowing what I need to do, I lift my eyes from Harlow’s and stare at the headstones before me. “I owe you my life, but my life is connected to your sisters now. So I’ll pay my respects a different way.” Looking back to Harlow, I make sure she understands what I’m saying, why I’m doing it, and I pray she understands. “I swear to you, I will make that bastard pay for what he did to Hendrix and Rayanne. I will make him suffer. And I will make sure that he is unable to do to another child what happened to your brother and sister. I promise you, baby.” I end my promise directed at Harlow.

At first, she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t blink or give me any idea what she’s thinking. But just when I start to panic, thinking I really fucked up this time, she grabs my hand and pulls me closer to her. “We’ll make him pay together.” Then she seals her promise with a kiss.

Pulling away, I look deep in her eyes and see that this is the closure she needs. It’s not the funeral or service. It’s not forgiving her brother. It’s avenging him.

Nodding, I kiss her once more before standing silently behind her while she thanks everyone for coming. I would do anything for this woman. I would go to the end of the earth to make sure she has what she needs. I’d do anything to make her happy, even help her seek out revenge. I’d risk it all defying destiny, cause she’s worth it.

I’d die for this woman, but I also live for this woman too. It’s like my father always said, “You don’t know what you live for until you know what you’ll die for.”