Deity (10 page)

I didn’t believe in them.

Aiden did.

Leon had thought we were both idiots.

But damn, I looked forward to it. Just sitting there and talking. No training. No trying to tap in and use akasha. Those moments with Aiden, even when Leon decided to join us, were my favorite part of the day.

I hadn’t choked Olivia again, but things were super-awkward when I did see her—no big surprise there. But I did start eating my lunch in the cafeteria with Seth. After the second day, Luke joined us, then Elena, and finally Olivia. We didn’t talk, but we also didn’t yell anything at each other.

Some things didn’t change, though. The mortal holidays of Christmas and New Year came and went, along with most of January. Most of the pures still seemed to expect every half to turn into an evil-aether-sucking creature and jump them. Deacon, Aiden’s brother, was one of the few who braved sitting next to us in class or talking to us around campus. Another thing that hadn’t changed was my inability to write a letter to my father. What was I supposed to say? I had no idea. Each night that I’d been alone, I’d started a letter, and then stopped. Paper balls littered my floor.

“Just write what you’re feeling, Alex. You’re overthinking it,” Aiden had said after I’d complained. “You’ve known that he’s been alive for two months now. You need to just write without thinking.”

Two months? It hadn’t felt that long. And that meant I had a little over a month before I Awakened. Maybe I was trying to slow time down. Either way, my feelings were all over the place, and if my father was as competent as I believed him to be, I didn’t want him to think I had issues.

So after practice with Seth, I gathered up my notebook and headed over to one of the less crowded rec rooms. Curling up in the corner of a bright red sofa, I stared at a blank page and chewed on the end of my pen.

Linard took up position at the door, looking bored. When he caught me watching him, I made a face and returned to gazing at the blue lines on the paper. Luke interrupted a few times, trying to lure me into a game of air hockey.

When his shadow fell across my notebook again, I groaned. “I don’t want to…”

Olivia stood in front of me, wearing a thick cashmere sweater I immediately started lusting after. Her brown eyes were wide.

“Uh… sorry,” I said. “I thought you were Luke.”

She smoothed a hand over her curly hair. “He’s trying to get you to play skee ball?”

“No. He moved on to air hockey.”

Her laugh was nervous as she glanced over at the group by the arcade games. Then she squared her shoulders as she gestured at the spot beside me. “Can I sit?”

My stomach turned over. “Yeah, if you want.”

Olivia sat, running her hands over her jean-clad legs. Several moments passed without either of us speaking. She was the first to break the silence. “So, how… how have you been?”

It was a loaded question, and my laugh came out choked and harsh. I brought the notepad to my chest as I glanced over at Luke. He was pretending not to have noticed us together.

She let out a little breath and started to rise. “Okay. I guess—”

“I’m sorry.” My voice was low, words hoarse. I felt my cheeks burn, but I forced myself to keep going. “I’m sorry for everything, especially the thing in the hallway.”

Olivia squeezed her thighs. “Alex—”

“I know you loved Caleb and all I’ve been thinking about is my own hurt.” I closed my eyes and swallowed down the lump in my throat. “I really do wish I could go back and change everything that night. I’ve thought a million times about all the things we could’ve done differently.”

“You shouldn’t… do that to yourself,” she said quietly. “At first, I didn’t want to know what really happened, you know? Like the details. I just couldn’t… deal with knowing for awhile, but I finally got Lea to tell me everything about a week ago.”

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t accepted my apology, but we were talking.

She drew in a shallow breath, eyes gleaming. “She told me that Caleb saved her. That you were fighting another daimon, and if he hadn’t grabbed her, she would’ve died.”

I nodded, clenching the notebook. Memories of the night surfaced, of Caleb streaking past me.

“He was really brave, wasn’t he?” Her voice caught.

“Yes,” I agreed passionately. “He didn’t even hesitate, Olivia. He was so fast and so good, but the daimon… was just faster.”

She blinked several times, and her lashes looked damp. “You know, he told me what happened in Gatlinburg. Everything you guys went through and how you got him out of the house.”

“It was luck. They—my mom and the others—started fighting. I didn’t do anything special.”

Olivia looked at me then. “He thought the world of you, Alex.” She paused, laughing quietly. “When we first started dating, I was jealous of you. It was like I couldn’t live up to everything you guys had together. Caleb really loved you.”

“I loved him.” I took a breath. “And he loved you, Olivia.”

Her smile was watery. “I guess I needed to blame someone. It could’ve been Lea, or the Guards who failed to keep the daimons out. I don’t know. It’s just that you’re this unstoppable force—you’re an Apollyon.” Springy curls bounced as she shook her head. “And—”

“I’m not an Apollyon, yet. But I get what you’re saying. I’m sorry.” I squeezed the wire on the notebook. “I just wish—”

“And
I’m
sorry.”

My head jerked toward her.

“It wasn’t your fault. And I was a total bitch to blame you. That day in the hallway, I wanted to apologize but it just all came out wrong. And I know that Caleb would hate me for blaming you. I shouldn’t have in the first place. I was just so hurt. I miss him so much.” Her voice cracked and she turned away, taking a deep breath. “I know those are just excuses, but I don’t blame you.”

Tears clogged my throat. “You don’t?”

Olivia shook her head.

I wanted to hug her, but wasn’t sure if that would be cool. Maybe it was too soon. “Thank you.” There was more I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the right words.

Her eyes closed. “Want to hear something funny?”

I blinked. “Yeah.”

Turning to me, she grinned even though her eyes glistened with tears. “After the day you and Jackson had that fight, everyone was talking about it in the cafeteria. Cody was walking by and said something ignorant. I don’t remember what—probably something about how great being a pure-blood is.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Lea got up all casually and dumped her entire plate of food on his head.” A giggle broke free. “I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I wished you’d seen that. It was hilarious.”

My mouth dropped open. “Seriously? What did Cody do? Did Lea get in trouble?”

“Cody threw a fit, calling us a bunch of heathens or something lame like that. I think Lea got written up and her sister wasn’t too happy with her.”

“Wow. That doesn’t sound like Lea.”

“She’s kind of changed.” Olivia sobered up. “You know, after everything? She’s not the same. Anyway, I have some stuff I need to do, but I’m… I’m glad we talked.”

I met her gaze and felt some of the tension leak away. It wouldn’t be like before, not for awhile. “Me, too.”

She looked relieved as she smiled. “See you in the cafeteria for lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure. I’ll be there.”

“I’m leaving for winter break next week with my mom. Some kind of Council business she has to attend to and she wants me to go with her, but when I get back, can we do something? Like maybe watch a movie or hang out?”

While mortals had winter break over the Christmas holiday, we had ours the entire month of February, in celebration of Anthesterion. Back in the old days, the festival was only three days and everyone pretty much got drunk in honor of Dionysus. It was like All Souls Night and Carnival rolled into one giant, drunken orgy. At some point the pures had extended the festival to an entire month, calmed it down, and filled it with Council sessions. Slaves and servants used to be able to participate, but that had also changed. “Yeah, that would be great. I’d love to.”

“Good. I’ll keep you to that.” Olivia got up to leave, but stopped at the door. Turning around, she gave me a small wave and a tentative smile before dipping out.

I glanced at my notebook. Some of the hurt and guilt that had lingered after Caleb’s death had lifted. I took a deep breath and scribbled a quick note to Laadan, telling her not to worry about the drink incident and thanking her for telling me about my father. Then I wrote two sentences under the brief paragraph.

Later that night, I sealed the letter and handed it over to Leon, who was hovering outside my dorm, with explicit instructions to give it to Aiden.

“May I ask why you’re passing notes to Aiden?” He eyed the letter like it was a bomb.

“It’s a love note. I’m asking him to circle ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if he likes me.”

Leon pinned me with a bland look, but shoved the letter in his back pocket. I gave him a cheeky grin before shutting the door. It felt like a semi-truck was lifted from my shoulders now that I’d written the letter. Spinning away from the door, I darted toward the computer desk. My bare toes smacked against something thick and heavy.

“Ouch!” Hopping on one leg, I looked down. “Oh, my gods, I am so stupid.”

The Myths and Legends book stared up at me. I bent quickly and grabbed it. Somehow, during all the craziness, I’d forgotten about it. Sitting down, I cracked open the dusty thing and began searching for the section Aiden had mentioned in New York.

I had no luck in the part written in English. Sighing, I flipped to the front of the book and started skimming the pages covered in what looked like gibberish to me. My fingers stilled about a hundred pages in, not because I recognized any of the writing, but because I recognized the symbol at the top of the page.

It was a torch turned down.

There were several pages written in ancient Greek, completely useless to me. They should be teaching that instead of trig at the Covenant, but what did I know? Then again, the pures were taught the old language.

Aiden knew the old language—kind of nerdy, in a totally hot way.

If I could find out more about the Order, then maybe we could get the evidence needed to prove that something crazy was up with Telly and Romvi. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that it had anything to do with what had happened, but it was much better than Seth’s suggestion.

The last thing we needed was an uprising… or one of us killing
another
pure-blood.

CHAPTER 8

LATER THAT NIGHT, WHEN I WAS HALF ASLEEP, I HEARD the familiar click of my door unlocking. I rose onto my elbow, pushing the mess of hair out of my face. The fine shiver tiptoeing down my spine told me it was Seth. Locks didn’t stand a chance against him. He either melted them or used the element of air to unlatch them from the other side.

He stopped just inside the doorway. His eyes were a soft, tawny glow in the dark.

Surprised to see him, it took me a few moments to say anything. “You’re not supposed to be in my dorm this late, Seth.”

“Has that ever stopped me before?” He sat on the edge of my bed and I could feel his gaze on me. “You’ve been in a much better mood this evening.”

“And here I thought I was getting better at blocking you.”

“You are. You did really well at practice today.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I heard him kick off his shoes. “Because I’m less likely to throw food at you right now?”

“Maybe.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“I was beginning to think you found your own bed more appealing.”

“You missed me.”

I shrugged. “Seth, about Jackson—”

“I’ve already told you. I didn’t have anything to do with that. And why would I do such a bad, bad thing?”

“I don’t know why. Maybe because you’re psychotic?”

Seth laughed. “‘Psychotic’ is such an extreme term. That would suggest I don’t feel guilty about my actions.”

I arched a brow. “My point exactly.”

When he pulled back the covers, I scooted over and watched him slide his legs under them. He eased onto his side, facing me. “You do realize I have a guard detail. They’ll know you’re in here.”

“I passed Linard on my way in.” He brushed back a stand of hair that had fallen across my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. His hand lingered. “He told me I was breaking the rules. I told him to bite me.”

“And what did he say to that?”

Seth’s hand dropped to my shoulder, covering the thin strap of my tank top. The cord inside me started to hum softly. “He didn’t look too happy. Said he was going to report me to Marcus.”

My heart dropped a little. There was no doubt in my mind that meant Aiden would hear about this; Aiden had to be aware of Seth’s sleeping habits. Knots formed in my stomach as I stared at Seth.
I’m not with Aiden. I’m not with Aiden. I’m not doing anything wrong
. Tension still dug into my muscles.

“Not that Marcus can really do anything about it.” He leaned over, gently guiding me down so that I was lying on my back. His fingers glided under the strap, and I shivered as his rough knuckles brushed over my collarbone. “He’s just the Dean.”

“And my uncle,” I pointed out. “I doubt he likes the idea of boys sleeping in my bed.”

“Hmm, but I’m not just any boy.” He tipped his head down. His hair fell forward, shielding his face. “I’m the Apollyon.”

My chest rose sharply. “The rules… still apply to you and me.”

“Ah, I remember this girl who couldn’t follow a simple rule even if her life depended on it.” He angled his head, which caused his nose to brush mine. “And I think what we’re doing, right now, is the least shocking rule you’ve broken.”

I flushed as I put my hands on his chest, stopping him from overcoming that last inch or two that separated us. “People change,” I said lamely.

“Some people do.” He placed his arm beside my head, supporting himself.

The cord was really starting to go crazy, demanding that I pay attention to it. My toes curled. “Did you come here to talk about the rules I’ve broken or what?”

“No. I actually had a reason for coming.”

“And that is?” I shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the way my skin, especially the palms of my hands, started to tingle. Thank the gods he had a shirt on.

“Give me a second.”

I frowned. “Why do—”

Seth dipped his head, brushing his lips over mine, and being caught between wanting to clamp my mouth shut and wanting to open for him was a frustrating feeling. I ached to be near him as equally as I did to be away from him.

“That’s… that’s why you came here?” I asked when he lifted his head.

“It wasn’t the main reason.”

“Then why are you—” His mouth cut my words off, and the kiss deepened, stealing my protests. The cord tightened as his hand slipped down my arm, over my stomach and under the hem of my shirt.

He smiled against my lips. “I have to travel with Lucian over winter break. I won’t return until the end of February”

“What?” The cord’s buzzing was getting excessive, making it hard to concentrate. I was kind of surprised that he’d leave so close to my eighteenth birthday, since I’d figured he’d camp inside my room in the weeks leading up to my Awakening. “Where are you going?”

“To the New York Covenant,” he answered, sliding his other hand into my hair. “There have been some problems that demand the Council’s attention.”

Some of the fuzziness receded. “I want to go with you. My father is—”

“No, you can’t go. It’s not safe for you there.”

“I don’t care. I want to go. I have to see my father.” By the look on Seth’s face, I could tell I wasn’t gaining any ground. “You’ll be there. Nothing will happen. And I’d be less safe here without you.” The last words physically hurt to say, but I threw pride under the bus. Seeing my father was that important.

Seth’s lips tipped up, enjoying that little ego stroke. “Marcus has assured Lucian that you’ll be well protected. Your darling pure-blood would slit his wrists before he let anything happen to you.”

I gaped.

“What?” He moved his hand up until it rested under my rib cage. “It’s the truth. And Leon and Linard will be here, watching over you. You’ll be fine.”

I wasn’t scared of being left behind. I just wanted to see my father. “Seth, I have to go.”

He kissed my lower lip, which had scarred just a little. “No, you don’t. And you’re not going. Not even I could get Lucian to agree to take you back to that hellhole.”

My mind raced frantically, trying to find a way to convince him.

“And don’t even think about sneaking off, because everyone is expecting you to do that. I don’t think I’ll be able to sense much from you when we’re that far apart, but from the moment I leave, someone will be watching you. So don’t even think it. I’m serious.”

“I don’t need a damn babysitter.”

“Yes, you do.” His lips found my chin next. “The girl who can’t follow rules to save her own life is still inside you.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Been called worse by you, so I’ll take that as a compliment.” He grinned even though I knew he felt the fury rising in me.

“When do you leave?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

“I’m leaving Sunday night, so you’re completely stuck with me until then.” He kissed the hollow of my throat.

“Great,” I muttered. Classes would be suspended on Wednesday. Almost all the pures left for super-posh vacations, which meant most of the Guards would be gone, protecting them. Some of the halfs would be out of here—anyone who still kept in contact with a mortal parent or was on good terms with a pure-blood one. There was still a chance I could sneak out, but how in the hell would I get to New York? I didn’t even have a driver’s license, but that was the least of my problems.

I’d have to get to New York without getting killed in the process.

Seth kissed me again and I debated pulling his hair out by the fistful while the bond between us tried its best to choke the living crap out of me.

“Why do you have to go, anyway?” I asked when he took a breather. I needed something—anything—to focus on that would take the edge off the cord that was tightening and tightening.

He twined strands of my hair around his fingers. “There’s a problem with the… servants in the Catskills.”

“What?” Dread blossomed in my stomach, growing as quickly as a weed. “What do you mean?”

“Some of them disappeared after the attack. Their bodies weren’t found and no daimons escaped.” Another quick, deep kiss before he spoke again. “And something appears to be wrong with the elixir.”

“Do you know anything about the ones who disappeared?” I caught his wrist before the hand crept any higher under my shirt.

“I don’t believe your father is among the missing, but as soon as I can confirm that I’ll let you know.” He lowered himself down, and since I’d grabbed his wrist, there was nothing to stop him. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m going to be gone for weeks.”

His weight made the cord extremely happy, and I struggled to pay attention. “Seth, this… this is important. What happened with the elixir?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. It doesn’t appear to be working as strongly.”

“As strongly?”

“Yeah, the halfs… are becoming self-aware. Kind of like the computers in Terminator.”

Odd comparison, but I got what he meant. And whoa—that was some serious stuff right there. The elixir was a mix of herbs and chemicals that worked to keep a half-blood compliant and dazed. Without it, I doubted the halfs in servitude would be thrilled with their lot in life. “It seems to be working here.”

“That’s the thing. It’s working everywhere but there. The Council wants us there to make sure nothing happens in New York, especially after the attack.”

“But why do you have to go?”

“I don’t know, Alex. Can we talk about this later?” He looked down at me, eyes glowing. “There are other things I want to do.”

The cord buzzed its approval. “But—”

Seth kissed me again and the hand against my stomach pressed down. I let go of his wrist, intending on pushing him off, but then I was gripping his shirt. The air around us seemed to crackle. There was something building inside me, a warning that the damn bond was up to no good.

I felt the cord rushing to the surface before I actually opened my eyes. Amber and blue lights cast strange shadows across the wall of my bedroom. I was transfixed by them for a moment. It was so bizarre that we were responsible for them. That they even came from within us.

It freaked me out a little.

But Seth’s free hand was everywhere, skimming down my arm, over my leg, and our cords were spiraling together, connecting us. My fingers clenched his shirt and I was pulling him down one second, then pushing him away the next.

Suddenly, the skin under his palm burned. Tiny pricks of pain stole my breath. I felt the rushing building in my stomach, akasha passing through the cords. A brief flicker of sanity reminded me of what had happened the last time we’d held on. Us, moving together on the bed, and there were fewer clothes to be removed this time.

Panic dug its claws deep in me. I wasn’t ready for this—with Seth. Letting go of his shirt, I pushed him hard enough that I was able to wiggle out from underneath him, breaking the connection. I scrambled onto my knees, clutching my stomach. “That… hurt.”

Seth looked dazed. “Sorry, it kind of just happened.”

Hands shaking, I pulled my shirt up far enough to see what I suspected was going to be there. Centered above my navel, right under my rib cage, was a glowing mark that looked like two check marks joined at the top.

“The power of the gods mark,” Seth whispered, sitting up. “Damn Alex, that’s a big one. Tomorrow, we should try blowing something up. I know you completely sucked at it when you did it the first time, but I bet it would work now.”

I couldn’t believe how quickly he went from wanting to get it on to wanting to blow something up. Seth seemed more excited about the rune than the other thing. Hell, his eyes had that crazy look again.

He placed his hands around the mark reverently. “There are four marks that appear first: courage, strength, power, and invincibility. But the power one, that’s akasha. See how it’s placed here?” He went to touch the mark, but I scooted back. He frowned. “Anyway, that’s where you pull power from.”

It was also where the cord slumbered when it wasn’t trying to turn me into one giant, raging hormone. “What happens when you get the fourth mark?”

Seth ran a hand through his hair, tugging it back from his face. Moonlight cut through the blinds, slicing across his face. “I don’t know. Mine came all at once, but they appeared in that order: on both of my palms, my stomach, and then on the back of my neck. Then everywhere else.”

My mouth suddenly felt dry. I dropped my shirt and backed up to the edge of the bed. “Do you think I’ll Awaken early if the fourth one appears?”

He lifted his eyes. “I don’t know, but would it be such a bad thing?”

Dizziness swept through me. “Maybe we should stop… touching or whatever until I turn eighteen.”

“What?”

“Seth, I can’t Awaken ahead of schedule.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand, Alex. Things will be so much better once you Awaken. You wouldn’t have to worry about Telly or the furies. Hell, the gods won’t even be able to touch us. How is that not a good thing?”

It wasn’t a good thing, because once I Awakened, there was a strong chance I’d lose myself in the process. Seth had warned me long ago that it would be like two halves coming together, that whatever he wanted would color my choices and decisions. I’d have no control over myself or my future.

And Aiden had been right that day in the sensory deprivation chamber. It terrified me.

“Alex.” Seth took my hand carefully, gently. “You Awakening now would be the best thing for… us. We could even try it. See if we can get the fourth mark to appear. Maybe nothing will happen after that. Maybe you’ll Awaken.”

I pulled my hand free. The eagerness in his voice creeped me out. “Are… are you doing this on purpose, Seth?”

“Doing what?”

“Trying to get me to Awaken early by touching me or whatever?”

“I’m touching you because I enjoy it.” Then he reached for me again, but I knocked his hand away. “What is your deal?” he asked.

“I swear to the gods, Seth—if you are doing this on purpose I will destroy you.”

Seth’s brows furrowed. “Don’t you think you’re being a tad bit melodramatic here?”

“I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. My palms tingled, my stomach burned, and the cord was finally settling down. “You haven’t done anything with me except training in weeks and then you show up tonight, all touchy and feely. Then this happens?”