Delectable Desire (22 page)

Carter’s head popped back with shock. He’d seen Grant Robinson’s dimpled smile before. Something downright crazy was going on here.

“Carter?”

Dammit, he had to pull it together. He was blowing the hell out of this interview.

“Uh, I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Yes, all of my family is back in Chicago. How do you know about my family’s estate?”

A ghost of a grin traced across Grant’s lips. “I didn’t mention this in any of our previous conversations, but I went to college with your cousin Shari.”

Comprehension nearly knocked Carter out of his chair.

That
was where he’d seen that smile and those green eyes.

Andre.

This man looked exactly like his cousin Shari’s four-year-old son.

Carter reached for the glass of water the waitress had set before him and downed half of it in one gulp. “So, you knew Shari back in the day, huh?” he asked.

Grant nodded. “But enough about that. Why don’t we get to the reason you’re really here? As I’ve mentioned in our previous phone conversations, I think someone with your skill set and experience would be an excellent addition to Robinson Restaurants.”

As the man imparted all the ways in which Carter and Robinson Restaurants were a perfect fit, Carter could only think about the many instances he’d sensed something deep and dark lurking behind Shari’s usually bright smile. His cousin had been keeping this secret from the world, and certainly from Andre’s father.

Carter shook his head to clear it. He pushed aside Shari’s dilemma and concentrated on what Grant Robinson was saying.

“Lillian’s has a reputation for creating some of the best baked goods in the entire state of Illinois. I know that you have had much to do with the bakery garnering that reputation in the last few years.”

Carter let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I can’t take that much credit,” he said. “My grandmother is the one who built the business. Much of what I know, I learned from her. Culinary school just helped me to hone what she’d taught all of us while growing up in the bakery.”

“She taught you well. I’m sure she’s very proud of the entire Drayson clan.”

Carter pulled in a deep breath. “Yes. She is.”

And his leaving would undoubtedly break his grandmother’s heart.

“So, what do you say, Carter? Have I convinced you to take what you’ve learned at Lillian’s and bring it to the Big Apple?”

Carter fidgeted with the silverware at his place setting. He picked up his water glass, took a sip, set it down and then picked it up again. He was stalling.

But not anymore.

He looked Grant Robinson in the eye. “When would I have to start?”

* * *

Carter pulled into his parking spot at his condo, but instead of getting out of the car, he sat behind the wheel and stared straight ahead at the concrete wall. He’d been nursing the tight ache in his chest since the moment he’d concluded his phone call with Grant Robinson over an hour ago—a phone call he’d made after leaving his grandparents’ home.

He’d made up his mind while still sitting across the table from Robinson back at his restaurant last Saturday night, yet for an entire week Carter had weighed the pros and cons, debated, questioning whether the choice he’d made was the right one.

In the end, Carter knew he’d chosen the only option that could truly make him happy.

It was done. Decision made. It was time for him to stop lamenting over it and start on the path forward.

He got out of the car. Carter opted for the stairs up to his apartment. He stopped short when he rounded the corner and spotted a figure standing in front of his door.

“Lorraine?”

She let out a yelp and turned, clutching her chest with her free hand. “Goodness, Carter. You scared me.”

“What are you doing here?” Carter checked his watch. “It’s after eleven o’clock.”

He walked the rest of the way to the door, but stopped a couple of feet away from her.

“I went looking for you at the bakery today. Your friend Malik said that you were visiting your grandparents, letting them know your decision regarding the job in New York. I decided to wait for you.”

“What do you want?” Carter asked, trying to ignore the ache that settled in his gut just at the sight of her. It had only been a week since he’d last seen her, yet it felt as if it had been a year.

“May I...?” She paused for a moment. “May I come in?”

Despite the quiet confidence in her voice, there was a vulnerability clouding her eyes that struck his chest with the force of a mallet. He had to remind himself that he hadn’t done anything wrong here.

Carter stared at her for several moments. He didn’t trust himself to move. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to fight this compulsion to assuage the hurt that was so evident in her once bright eyes. He wanted to take her into his arms and wrap them around her; instead, he put one of his hands in his pocket and used the other to open the door to his condo.

For a second, Carter contemplated closing the door behind him. It would be easier all around if she just went home. But she’d made the effort to come here. The least he could do was hear her out.

With a quick nod, he gestured for her to come in. She didn’t look at him as she entered the apartment, and once inside, she walked over to the far side of the kitchen island, as if she needed to put some distance between them.

It pissed him off.

“Do you think I would actually put a hand on you?” Carter bit out.

“No.” She shook her head. “No, of course not, Carter. I know you would never hurt me.”

“Really? It sounds as if you’ve changed your tune since the last time we talked.”

“Perhaps I deserve that,” she said. She straightened her shoulders, as if shoring up her courage. “I had several reasons for wanting to see you. I’m asking that you hear me out.”

“I can’t make any promises. Though you probably wouldn’t believe any promise I made anyway.”

The hurt that flashed across her face made Carter instantly want to take back his words. She hadn’t come in hurling more accusations. There was no justification for his cruelty toward her.

Despite his unwarranted callousness, Lorraine continued in that same poised, self-assured manner.

“First, I wanted to apologize for my mother’s actions. She saw nothing wrong with hiring that private investigator, but it wasn’t right.”

“Yet you still believe everything he had to say.”

“Second,” she continued as if he’d never spoken, “I want to apologize for jumping to conclusions after reading his report. It was only later that I realized that picture was taken over a decade ago, five years before I ever met Broderick. You had already left college by that time. You once told me that you’d given up the fraternity life a long time ago, so it isn’t unreasonable to deduce that you did not keep in touch with people from the fraternity.”

That thought hadn’t even occurred to him.

“If we had been in a court of law, everything that investigator brought forth would have been considered circumstantial evidence,” Lorraine continued. “I allowed the things I’d read to cloud my judgment, but I now realize that I should not have left without first discussing it with you.”

Carter felt a tiny spark of hope blossom in his chest and cursed himself for yielding even that small amount. Her apology wasn’t enough to erase what she’d done to him when she’d pulled out that picture and accused him of duplicity. She’d devastated him. How did he know she wouldn’t do it again the next time her mother sought to “protect” her?

“Those are only words, Lorraine.”

“Yes, they are,” she said. “Words are all I can offer. I was wrong, and I know that I hurt you. I’m sorry for that. I hope you can accept my apology.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “What if I can’t?”

She flinched, breaking eye contact for a moment.

“That is...understandable,” she said in a more subdued tone. She pulled in a shaky breath. “There was one more reason for my visit. I wanted to thank you.”

Carter’s eyes shot to hers.

“Movers were at my parents’ home today, packing up my things. I’m moving to my loft until I can find something more permanent. Also, on Monday, I’m holding my first art class at Comer Children’s Hospital. I will be teaching there and at the burn unit twice a week. Neither of those things would have happened if not for you, so I wanted to thank you.”

Carter shook his head. “I don’t deserve credit for that.”

“Yes, you do.” She nodded. “I should have moved out of my parents’ home a long time ago. But I stayed, thinking that the freedom I gave up was a small price to pay in return for the security they provided. I know now that I can stand on my own. As for the hospital...well, let’s just say that once I saw you with those children, several things became clear.”

Carter studied her, struck by the self-assuredness she exuded. He tried to recall that reserved, timid woman who’d walked into Lillian’s to order a cake for her sister’s bridal shower. He could barely picture her; that was just how much confidence she had acquired.

“What became clear?” he asked.

“Carter, before I met you I was lost. I knew I wanted to do more, but I didn’t know what, if anything, I could contribute, other than writing a check from the Hawthorne-Hayes Foundation. The night of the event at Lincoln Park Zoo, I realized that there was a way for me to give back. After we visited the hospital, and I saw Delaney’s sketches, I knew I’d found it.”

She took several steps forward, stopping a few feet from him. “So, thank you,” she said. “And goodbye.”

Carter fisted his hands against the cold granite of the kitchen island as he listened to the hollow sound of her footsteps as she made her way toward the door. He pinched his eyes shut, felt a muscle jumping in his jaw as it clenched in angry resentment.

“I want to know why,” he said in a quiet voice.

Her footsteps halted.

Carter turned. To her back, he said, “In the time we were together, what had I ever done to make you think I was capable of doing what you accused me of, Lorraine?”

Finally, she turned. Her chin dipped for just a moment before she brought her head up and looked him directly in the eye.

“It had nothing to do with you, Carter. It was about me, and what I had come to expect.” She paused, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. After a moment she dropped her hands and brought her gaze back to his, that silent strength returning.

“A month ago, when I accepted that first dinner invitation from you, it was the boldest and scariest thing I had done in years,” she said. “Those first few days, it felt as if I was a different person, some actor pretending to be this woman who flirted and kissed a man on the first date. But then I started to realize that the person I’d allowed myself to become—this aloof, unapproachable person—was the real fraud.”

She pointed to her chest. “This person, the one you helped me to rediscover—this is the real Lorraine.”

“I’d fallen in love with the real Lorraine,” Carter said quietly. “You don’t know what it took for me to say those three words to you. I’d never said them to another woman.”

The look of anguish that crossed her face ripped at Carter’s heart. She pulled her quivering bottom lip between her teeth.

“I have never loved someone the way I love you, Rainey. I didn’t think love could happen that fast, not the deep love I found myself feeling. But it did. And then you throw me in the same boat with the bastard that blackmailed you, all because of a picture that was taken nearly ten years ago. Do you know what that did to me?”

He drew a frustrated hand down his face.

“I only joined that fraternity because my dad and uncle were a part of it, but I knew from early on that it just wasn’t me. I didn’t take the time to get to know anyone there. The day that picture was taken, I showed up to the frat house, was there for the five minutes it took the photographer to snap the photo and I left. I don’t remember ever meeting Broderick Collins, and I’ve
never
had any dealings with him.”

“Carter, please try to see things from my perspective. At the time, all I had to go on was the evidence sitting right in front of me, and my mother’s warnings ringing in my ears, telling me that you were making a fool of me.”

“But—” Carter started, but she stopped him.

“No, please. You need to understand this.” She folded her arms across her chest, rubbing her hands over her forearms as if warding off a chill. Her voice, when she continued, was muted. “What happened with Broderick has haunted me every single day for the past five years. It has controlled my life in more ways than my mother ever could.” She looked up at him. “You showed me that it doesn’t have as much power over me as I thought it did. You showed me that my past mistakes do not have to define my future.”

“So why did you let it?” he asked, running an agitated hand through his hair.

“Because it’s what I had become used to. Don’t you get it, Carter?” She held her hands out, as if pleading with him to understand. “I didn’t know how to be happy. I didn’t think I deserved it. That’s my ugly truth. As amazing as these past few weeks with you have been, a part of me has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the joy I’d found to be snatched away from me.

“When my mother handed me her so-called proof, in a way, I felt justified, as if it was nothing more than what I had expected to happen all along.”

“So you’re telling me that this entire time you’ve just been waiting for me to break your heart?”

She lifted her shoulders in a hapless shrug. “I thought it was inevitable,” she said, the words coming out ragged, clogged with emotion. She pushed out a weary sigh. “And in the end, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I figured out a way to get my heart broken on my own. I thought I was more prepared for it this time around, but it seems that the harder you love, the greater the hurt.”

The words clutched at Carter’s heart, squeezing it like a giant fist. He’d felt that kind of love, and knew that kind of hurt.

Lorraine straightened her shoulders, and drew in a shattering breath.

“Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to apologize. I didn’t want you to leave for New York believing that I still thought you were guilty.”