Delver Magic: Book 06 - Pure Choice (36 page)

"I want to talk about Linda
with you. That's why I'm here."

Ryson turned his attention back to
Stomps. Crouched down before the dog, he found happiness, but he finished
revealing his reluctance as if explaining it to Stomps.

"I would love to take you
home, but I'm away too much. I wouldn't want to leave you alone."

"You could take him with you
on your scouts," Enin suggested.

"Too dangerous. I don't know
what I would do if something happened to him. I wouldn't be able to forgive
myself."

Stomps looked back into Ryson's
eyes and then licked the delver's nose.

Enin chuckled to himself, and then
explained what he saw in the dog's mind and heart.

"That's okay, Ryson. Stomps
understands. The time isn't right for you at the moment. He knows that. He'll
be fine here. He likes me, though he thinks I'm a bit odd."

Ryson smiled back at the dog. He
whispered a response, but said it loud enough so that the wizard could hear him
as well.

"I'm with you, boy. Wizards
are odd people. They do odd things."

Enin chuckled again, but then took
a hard look at the delver and considered everything that Ryson had said.

"Why don't you come
inside?" Enin asked. "We should talk in private."

The wizard guided Ryson into his
study. They both sat down and Enin started the conversation without hesitation.

"You are concerned about
Linda," Enin recognized. "What is it that I can do for you, or
her?"

Ryson wasn't sure how to start, so
he simply threw out the one concern that seemed to create Linda's downward
slide.

"Linda doesn't think we can
have children."

"She's right," Enin
responded simply.

The wizard's certainty shocked the
delver. He didn't have a great understanding of the magic, but he believed its
very existence made almost anything possible.

"You're sure?" Ryson
asked.

"Absolutely. She's physically
immune to magic. A delver child is part magic. That's just the way it is."

Ryson rubbed the back of his neck,
uncertain of what to say or do next. He realized that Linda was right. She
didn't need to speak to Enin, or anyone else. She
knew
the truth. At that moment, he did, too, and it left him
confused... uncertain of his future.

"This surprises you?"
Enin wondered.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I suppose it might,"
Enin allowed. "Did you plan to have a family?"

Ryson struggled for an answer. It
was a very personal issue and it was difficult to discuss.

"It's complicated," the
delver finally admitted. "It's not that we didn't talk about it. We just
never made a decision one way or the other."

"Yes, family life is indeed
complicated."

Ryson felt the urge to explain
further. Revealing that they had not made certain decisions left him uneasy, as
if he had acted irresponsibly.

"I guess we were just taking
things as they came. Maybe that's not the smartest way to handle things, but
you have to realize delvers don't always have a plan. We tend to switch paths
quickly. You also have to consider everything that's happened since we got
together. We met right when the magic returned. After that, it's been almost
one crisis after another. We've been happy to just stay alive."

"That's true," Enin
conceded. "Okay, so there was no set plan and many challenges, but if you
don't mind me asking—and this is just about you, it has nothing to do with what
you think Linda wants—did
you
want to
have children?"

Ryson had to give Enin credit. The
wizard pulled another question from the depths of the delver's heart and forced
him to face it. It was indeed a very personal question, but also a very
important one, one that he believed he might have been avoiding.

"Like I said, it's
complicated."

"That might be, but if you
want to get through this, you're going to have to be honest with yourself first
before you can deal with it honestly with Linda."

Ryson sighed and made a very
truthful admission.

"I don't think so... want to
have children that is. I'm away a lot. I face a lot of danger. Godson! Look at
what's been happening to me over the past few seasons. I've been fighting
monsters and demons. Do I really want to bring a kid into something like that?
I mean, you just asked me if I wanted Stomps. It's not that I don't want him,
it's just that I don't want anything to happen to him because of me. If I'm
concerned about having a dog, why would I want a child?"

"Your point is well taken.
Your honesty is also to be commended. That's a very good start to handling your
problem, but now we have to consider the other half of the equation. What about
Linda?"

What about Linda?

Yet again, another difficult
question. Ryson rubbed his forehead as he dug through his memories of his
discussions with his wife. He tried to piece them all together and come up with
a clear answer.

"She worries about me as it
is. I'm not sure she would want to add to that."

"But maybe with a child she
would have something to divert her attention," Enin proposed.

It wasn't a thought completely
foreign to the delver.

"I know what you're saying.
If she was taking care of a child, it might take her mind off me being gone,
but I'm torn about that. I feel bad about leaving her alone. If she had a
child, she might not mind as much, but then I'd be leaving them both. And
that's not right. We shouldn't start a family just so I could run off and
explore. It sounds terrible. I don't want to just leave everything to her.
Raising a family is tough. I should be there."

Enin began to see a fault in
Ryson's reasoning.

"That matter is now
irrelevant," the wizard remarked. "You can't have children, so
agonizing over whether or not you should be there for them is not the question.
You seemed surprised to find out you couldn't have children with Linda. I asked
if you had planned on having a family. You obviously didn't. As for Linda, you
seem to be focusing on whether or not it would be fair for her to have them
without you being around. That doesn't really answer the question. Do you think
Linda wanted to have a family?"

Ryson couldn't avoid the issue any
further. He had to give his honest opinion.

"I don't think so. That's the
truth."

Enin nodded and accepted the
presumption, but he would not allow the discussion to end there.

"Yet you seem concerned about
leaving her alone. I'm just wondering if having children is the real problem. I
don't doubt that has caused some immediate concern, but is there something
else? I don't mean to pry, but I can't dismiss the obvious. You've been talking
about leaving Linda alone. I know you do that because you have to... you're a
delver. But you seem almost guilty about it. It sounds as if you may be
questioning whether or not you really want to be a delver."

Ryson wasn't sure if it was
anguish or relief that sliced through his spirit. The wizard cut right to the
heart of the issue. Enin had addressed the concern that perhaps scared him the
most, yet it was also the reason he came to the wizard for assistance.

"I'm not questioning it. I
think
she
might be. Actually, I'm
wondering if Linda wants to be with a delver."

"I see," Enin
acknowledged as he considered the serious question with great deliberation.
"I have spent time with your wife, even talked to her about it. She knew
what to expect. She was always going to worry about your safety, but I don't
think she ever held it against you, wanted you to be something else."

"That might have been before,
but she seems different now. She made this remark about not having children and
now she doesn't seem to care about anything. It's the magic she's immune to,
not me, but something happened to her."

"It might have been a shock
to her. Not
wanting
children and not
being
able
to have them are two
different things. In the back of her mind, it was always a possibility. Now,
she realizes it no longer is. She probably just needs time."

It made sense, but the conclusion
was much too abrupt for Ryson's liking. He had hoped Enin would be more
proactive in offering a more helpful solution.

"So that's it?" Ryson
asked.

"You hoped for more?"

"Yes! I don't understand this
magic stuff, not like you do. I was hoping you might be able to do something."

"I can't change her immunity,
and I can't make you something you're not."

"But maybe you can do
something else."

"What did you have in
mind?"

Ryson knew of Enin's great powers.
He even knew of abilities the wizard had discarded.

"You used to talk about
seeing the destiny in people, you had the ability."

"Yes, I did, and I blocked it
out. I was making judgments of people based on what they would face, and that
was wrong. No one should make a decision based on what I was able to see. It
wasn't fair."

"That's not what I'm talking
about. I believe Linda and I were destined to be together. Too many things
happened to us for that not to be true. I was thinking you could validate that
for us."

"There's one problem with
that. I could never see Linda's destiny. I believe it was because she was
immune to magic."

"But you could see my
destiny."

"That is true, but you're not
the one with the issue, she is, and I'm still not sure I understand how that
might help you." Enin paused as he considered the entire situation.
"Ah, I see. You want me to look into your destiny and tell you that
everything is going to be fine between you and Linda, don't you?"

Ryson felt a surge of guilt. In
essence, it was exactly what he wanted. He didn't want to admit it, but there
was no sense in trying to avoid the knowing gaze of the wizard.

"Yes, is that so bad?"

"No, I understand your
situation, but I don't think you understand mine. Even if I could just turn
that ability back on, I'm no fortune teller. I saw destined events, moments of
critical choices. We have several paths we can follow, but most of them lead to
one significant event or another. Whether or not you were, or still are,
destined to be with Linda would not necessarily be in the realm of my
seeing."

"But you have seen things in
the past regarding my destiny. Even though you couldn't see hers, you have to
admit they fit together."

"Yes, it has always seemed
you and Linda were on convergent paths."

"Then that's what I want her
to hear. Maybe you could talk to her..."

At that, Enin held up both hands.
He would have done almost anything to help Ryson and Linda, but the delver was
asking him to influence someone about their most personal matters.

"Ryson, please do not ask me
to get involved in... domestic issues. I am not unsympathetic to you and the
problem you seem to face, but this is not the answer. In a way, you're hoping I
can influence your wife with my abilities. I know you're not talking about
casting a spell over her—we both know that would do no good—but it's almost the
same thing. She may not be able to touch the magic, but she has some
comprehension over its power. If I start telling her things she can never
really validate, it's going to lead you both into trouble. No, this is
something you have to work out another way. There's no magical destiny that
will solve your problems."

"I don't want you to try to
trick her, just tell her what you think."

"What I think? Sometimes I
don't know myself. You talk about complications, think of my life for a moment.
I know you think I often drift off, but that's not really the truth. At this
very moment, my consciousness is trying to separate a half dozen different
thought patterns that have me concerned with various levels of magical
intricacies. I don't want to make it seem as if the magic assaults me, but it
opens my awareness to paths I cannot adequately describe."

Enin paused to consider the
delver's own awesome abilities and believed he might have found a way to offer
more clarity.

"Think of your own
senses," the wizard continued. "What you can see, smell and hear is
far beyond my ability. I know there are times you can be overwhelmed by what
you sense. That's why you
have
to go
out and explore the world. If you didn't, I believe you'd go insane."

Ryson appreciated the wizard's
understanding of his personal situation, but he remained focused on his
problems with his wife.

"That's why I thought you
might be able to talk to her," Ryson said. "She'll respect what you
have to say."

"And what is it exactly I
should tell her? You don't want me to trick her, but you want me to try to
explain to her how I see things. How am I supposed to explain it to her in a
way that will make her lose her reservations? I can't even explain it to
myself. Imagine having three dreams while you're awake and you might have an
idea of what goes through my mind. Now, you want me to try and give Linda, who
is completely immune to magic, an idea of what I think? Do you really expect
that's going to make her feel better?"

Ryson had to admit it began to
sound more and more confusing.

"I guess not."

Enin tried to reassure his friend.

"I appreciate that you came
to me. It shows you have a trust in me. I appreciate that more than I can say,
but I also think this is a challenge that you and Linda can overcome by yourselves.
If you believe you were meant to be together, then I think deep down she
believes it as well, and nothing in this land will be able to break you apart.
Destiny is more than some kind of twisted joke meant to force us into trying
circumstances. It's also more than a test. It's part of our passage through
this existence, a reminder that we are not trapped—or alone—in some random
collection of events caused by our own manipulations. Have faith in that."