Denali Dreams (7 page)

Karon jolted at Zack’s words but she also understood them. She considered blurting out everything about her cancer. But would that repulse him? Even though his words took her back, she really wanted to hear the rest of his story. Maybe it was too soon; from the increased pace she could tell he’d closed up. He walked on ahead. “Zack, wait. I want to ask you a question.”

“Sure.” His brows lowered.

“You said you
came
here with a death wish? Does that mean you’ve changed?”

A moment passed. “I hope so—that is, I’m trying. Although it’s too early for me to say the transformation is complete.”

“I’m not sure I understand….”

His steps slowed then stopped. A muscle in his jaw twitched. “I’m not good at this, sorry. But you’re right, every moment counts.” His shoulders rose as he took a long breath. “I turned away from God a long time ago when my life fell apart. I blamed Him.” He started walking again, slow steady steps up the glacier. Karon was at his side. “A good friend of mine, another ranger, took me aside recently and asked me about it. I told him that of course it was
God’s
fault because when I
had
faith my life took a turn for the worse.” A sad chuckle reached Karon’s ears. Zack shook his head. “But my friend asked me a great question.”

She waited.

He stopped and looked straight at her. “He said, ‘If you were climbing and let go of the rope, would you blame the
rope
for your fall?’” Zack shook his head again. “It was amazing. In that one simple moment, I understood. My faith in God—or even God Himself—hadn’t caused my life to tank. Because He’s the rope. I let go, when I should’ve been holding on tighter.” Zack shrugged and continued walking.

Karon smiled. “So you’re saying you’re a believer?”

“Yep.” He stared ahead. “Have been a long time. Just haven’t been holding on to the rope like I should. But I’m changing that.”

She tugged on his parka sleeve. “Zack, wait.” A lump the size of Texas grew in her throat as he stopped a few feet below her and pulled his goggles up. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For sharing that with me. I need the reminder to hold a little tighter to the rope, too.”

They walked together in silence back down to the camp. Karon’s thoughts ran a mile a minute. This man beside her was quite a conundrum. He both attracted and confused her.

“Can I come by your tent later to get the book? I’ve got some other duties to attend to….” Back to business, Zack didn’t wait for a response, just gave her a nod.

Karon admired his broad shoulders as he walked away. One minute they’d shared a pretty deep connection, and the next? He left.

With a sigh, she turned back to her tent and decided to focus on food. She already missed jambalaya, crawfish, and shrimp. Maybe she could grab another bagel if she made it back to the tent in time. After the first week, they would be eating more tortillas, so she wanted to eat bread now while she had the chance.

The afternoon was spent hiking and hydrating to help them adapt to the elevation change. Then they rechecked gear and prepared dinner. Tortellini was on the menu and she found herself starved. Hopefully Lionel would let her pile on the mozzarella cheese. She wanted extra cheese on pretty much everything. As their private guide, Lionel catered to most of their wishes, as long as they were within reason. Even with the hardships they’d face on the expedition, she was looking forward to the climb.

But not looking forward to saying good-bye to Zack.

T
omorrow she’d be gone. Up the mountain, on the adventure of her life. Zack longed to spend every minute with her, but his job demanded his attention. He’d never had trouble focusing before.

But that was before he met Karon.

He looked at his watch. Eight p.m. They’d be going to bed soon, even though the sun still shone in the sky and would for hours to come. But they had to be ready for a long day of climbing, and they needed rest.

Clint popped his head out of the Grangers’ tent. “Hey, wanna play a round of spades?”

“Sure, I was just heading your way.”

Karon, Lionel, and Clint all smiled when he entered.

“We need a fourth, my good man.” Lionel’s accent seemed deeper. “You can be Karon’s partner.” He winked.

Great. Now there were two matchmakers. But Zack didn’t mind. “Sure thing. Bags or no bags?”

“Bags.” Clint and Karon spoke at the same time.

“Be forewarned, chap, they’re brutal.” Lionel leaned back. “I haven’t won a trick yet.”

Two hours and five rounds later, Karon excused herself and left the tent, while Zack enjoyed the camaraderie of the guys. It’d been a long time since he’d allowed himself to relax and have fun.

“Well, it’s past bedtime,” Lionel said. “And I’ve got to haul these dossers up the mountain tomorrow. So, out you go, Ranger.”

Zack said his good-byes but missed getting to see Karon. Maybe he’d get the chance in the morning, but he doubted it.

As he hiked off to his own tent, Karon’s voice followed him. “Zack! Ranger Taylor!”

He turned. Her cheeks were red from the cold.

“Hey, I brought you that book.” She held a gallon Ziploc with a book inside. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“Thanks. It’s been a long time since I read a novel, so I’m looking forward to it.” He reached out for the book. Didn’t want to break the connection between them. Would he see her again?

She held out a hand. “It was really nice to spend time with you. Thanks.”

Zack reached out and grasped her hand then wrapped his other around it. “I hope it’s not the last time we see each other, Karon … in fact … I wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure, go ahead.” She didn’t let go.

Her gloved hand felt warm even through the thick layers. “I’d like to know if you’d be willing to go out with me. Later … you know … when we’re off the mountain … sometime.” Idiot. Such an idiot. He almost wanted to roll his eyes at himself. What was he? Sixteen again?

She giggled. “You mean, there aren’t any great restaurants up here on the mountain? I hear there’s an incredible view.”

The joke helped calm his racing heart. “Well, I was hoping to take you
out
someplace, not just
up.
“

“But up is so beautiful.”

“So are you, Karon.”

She sucked in a breath.

“Is that a yes?” He waited. Like a kid. Seconds felt like hours.

A slow smile formed on her face. “I’d love to go out with you.”

“So, it’s a date?”

She shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

His heart lurched. He stared at her for several moments then squeezed the hand he still held between his.

“I’m sorry,” she added.

“Good night, Karon. I hope you get your wish.”

Zack’s words echoed through her brain as she trudged up the Kahiltna Glacier pulling a sled and her huge frame pack on her back. Of course, he’d been referencing her wish to summit Denali, which was why she was freezing her tuckus off at this very moment, but another wish was at the forefront of her mind. The wish to fall in love and get married. Hope sprouted inside her with thoughts of Zack, but how could she consider going out with him when she hadn’t even told him the truth? What if he had no desire to date a woman who’d had cancer? No. She refused to say yes and then have him fulfill his obligation out of pity.

Even though the sun shone bright and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, the wind whipped around her like a tornado. Lionel kept telling her to be thankful, many people never had the chance to see all of Denali because it was shrouded in clouds most of the time, but she wondered how long the wind would batter and bruise her aching body.

All the training, all the practicing, all the books—none of it prepared her for the real climb up Denali. When she read that the weather in summer on Denali could be worse than the weather on Everest in the winter, she’d found it interesting. Now the bitter wind ripping through her drove the point home. And they weren’t even to 8,000 feet yet.

“Come on, children,” Lionel yelled back. “While we’re still young.”

Clint was too far behind her to hear, but Karon couldn’t help but laugh. This expedition was her idea, and here they were. She’d better focus. The summit of Denali awaited.

Days three, four, and five passed much the same. On day six, the wind died down, and they climbed to 11,000 feet. As the sun beat down on them, Karon took off two of her outer layers. Clint had stopped fussing over her, which was a much-needed reprieve, and Lionel turned out to be quite the spades player—even with just the three of them playing.

Her body had done well getting used to the higher altitude so far, and she felt strong. Stronger than she’d felt in a long time. If only she’d been strong enough to tell Zack the truth about her cancer.

The sleeping bag confined her as she tossed and turned. Too late to go back and change her answer to Zack. It was best this way. Besides, she had a grueling climb ahead of her. But she was on her way. To the top of Denali.

Zack paced in front of the radio, his thoughts pinging around. Why couldn’t he get Karon out of his head? “Any news … um …?”

“Dude, you’re ridiculous.” The new ranger—what’s-his-name—shook his head and walked away.

“Can’t even remember the new guy’s name, huh?” David walked up and thumped Zack’s shoulder. “You
are
ridiculous.”

“Well …” He thought for a moment. “No, I have no idea what his name is. Can’t we just call him ‘rookie’?”

David’s laughter rumbled. “It’s okay. I don’t remember his name either.
Dude
,” his friend mimicked the new ranger. It cracked his nervous shell. “Normally takes me a while to get used to the new guys anyway.”

“Yeah, but most of the time, we know ‘em first. We’ve worked side by side or climbed together.” Zack took a long swig from his water bottle. “And it didn’t help that I was distracted the guy’s first few days.”

Another punch in the arm. “So the great adventurer finally admits it? He’s come down to the same level as us regular people and found out there’s more to life than the great adrenaline rush?” David swept his arm wide and pretended he had an audience. “Hear ye, hear ye—”

“Oh, shut up.” Zack couldn’t help but laugh and pitched a snowball at David.

“But you admit you were checkin’ up on your girl, huh?”

The words “your girl” had a nice ring to them. If only Karon hadn’t turned him down. Yeah, he was pathetic. All these years he’d avoided women and relationships. Amazing how one week could change it all. “Haven’t heard anything today. The wind’s been howling really bad up there the past few days, so I was a little concerned.”

“Aw. You’re worried. How sweet.”

Zack punched his friend in the arm. “Concerned. Not worried. I just wanted to know if they’d checked in.”

“Uh-huh. Pa-the-tic. Just sayin’.”

“Better watch it, David. Wait until you find someone. I’m gonna razz you even worse.”

“I’m shakin’ in my boots, pal.” His friend cowered.

The hulk of David shaking in front of him made Zack bust out laughing. So maybe he
was
being a little ridiculous. Karon could take care of herself. She knew what she was doing. And she had Clint and Lionel. She’d be fine.

Really.

T
he mountain glistened in the sunlight. The wind returned with a fury and severe cold dropped on them. Even with the sun shining almost around the clock every day, Karon felt the chill in her bones. The higher they climbed, the more water she drank. Food wasn’t interesting anymore, but her thirst never seemed to be quenched.

Every now and then, a glimpse of another peak gave her pause. This was more of an undertaking than she’d imagined. The broadness of Denali stretched before her. Ice and snow as far as the eye could see.

Each step took her closer to the goal. And each night as she rubbed sore muscles, she thanked God for the opportunity. The chance to do something so extreme, so different.

They’d spent another day resting after making 11,000 feet. Then a day carrying to Basin Camp. Today, they were
moving
to Basin Camp at 14,200 feet. Even though she’d already climbed this path yesterday, she found the hike exhilarating. Always something new to thank God for—even Clint’s complaining. Or his snoring. At least her brother loved her enough to do something like this with her.