Denying Mr. Parks (The Parks #1) (30 page)

He tried to act professional, but I caught how his brow furrowed at my suspicious behaviour. I was fidgeting, looking over my shoulder, and clearly in a rush.

“If you would like to take a seat at your table, madam, I will bring the order to you.”

“No,” I bellowed. “I would like it now. Thanks.”

“Of course.” He stiffened, then turned around to fill the short glass with two measures of vodka. He placed the glass down on the bar for me to take, and I handed him the money and drank it back in one go. The burn slightly numbed my lips and throat, but I quite welcomed it. Turning around to make sure I wasn’t being watched, I hesitated, even though I knew what I was going to do.

“Another double, please.” I pushed the empty glass across the bar. The barman caught it just before it slid off the other side and gave me a stiff smile. I was in a rush, and that time he took too long for my liking. My foot was tapping restlessly until he finally exchanged the glass for my money. I knocked it straight back, then made my way back to our table. Everyone looked up at me when I arrived.

“Evey, you were gone a while. Everything all right?” It pissed me off how Steph had to act like I had a motive for everything I did, though most of the time she was right.

“Just a queue for the toilet.” My smile was convincing enough for her to accept my reply. She and Mathew got talking after that, so Alex leaned over to get my attention. He’d been doing that most of the night, but now my attention was on Carla and Parks. Yes, I had to admit, Parks seemed bored as he watched her talk, laugh, flirt, and play with her hair. She kept reaching over to touch his hand, which he continuously pulled away. It made me wonder why the hell he was having dinner with her in the first place. And it made me wonder why the hell I felt envious.

“How’s your job going, Evey?”

Turning to Alex to answer his question, I realised he was closer to me than I’d thought. If I’d leaned forwards a touch, our lips would have met. So I shifted a little to give myself some space.

“Well, it was going good until I punched my boss in the face.” I thought I’d tell them myself because when the police came calling, they would find out either way. Then I remembered, shit, Alex
was
an officer.

“You did what?” Alex asked at the same time Steph said, “You punched your boss in the face?”

Risking a glance from my shredded napkin, I caught Steph’s bulging eyes and shrugged nonchalantly. “She called me a slut.”

Mathew burst out laughing. “That’s class.”

Steph smacked him in his shoulder. “So now you’ve got no job?
Again?
” She said the last word with an exhausted eye roll, but I quickly corrected her.

“No, I still have my job, that’s the crazy thing.”

“Is she pressing charges?”

I scoffed and glanced over at Parks and Carla’s table. “Probably.”

Then Alex went into full-blown officer mode. “You could get charged for common assault. Maybe a fine and up to five months in jail.”

I rubbed at my forehead. I didn’t need to hear the consequences, especially knowing that Carla would take her case all the way.

“She can’t let you keep your job if she’s going to press charges,” he said.

My perplexed frown matched Steph’s. “I know, but somehow I still got my job.” I looked over at Alex, who was watching me suspiciously. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I giggled out of nervousness.

Before he could answer, our meals arrived. Mathew rubbed his hands together in delight, as did the others, but I wasn’t hungry. I picked at my food, my focus remaining on Parks and Carla. He only spotted me when they got up to leave. My heart slammed against my chest with a thud, and my face filled with heat. His eyes went wide with alarm when he saw me, then narrowed as they turned to Alex sitting beside me. He had some damn cheek. Carla was looking for something in her bag, so when her head popped back up, he looked away from me quickly, took her hand, and led her out of the restaurant. He only looked in my direction again as he held the door open for Carla, then he followed her out.

My blood began to boil out of jealously but more so confusion, and my knee was bouncing up and down underneath the table the more I thought about Parks having dinner with that bitch. Where the hell were they going to go after dinner? To have sex? Most probably.

I closed my eyes, trying my best to calm myself down, but it was no use. The more I looked at Alex’s beer next to me, the more I wanted to pick it up and down the whole thing and then another ten more. But I couldn’t think that way. I couldn’t let a man make me feel that way. So why was Parks making me?

Moments passed as I half listened to Steph criticize Mathew’s every move. “You’re such a pig when you eat. Look, it’s all down your shirt.” I kept my eyes focused on my meal, trying to bite my tongue, but she kept going on about it. “And will you close your mouth? You sound like a horse.”

That was it. I banged my fist on the table, making the glasses and cutlery shake. “Steph, enough. You’re being a miserable, moaning bitch.”

She blanched, looking a little bemused, but I wouldn’t let her speak. “Let the man eat how he wants, let him speak how he wants.” I smacked my palm against the table each and every time I spoke. “You pick at every fucking thing the poor guy does. I’m sick to death of hearing you moan at him. Let the man fucking breathe. Either that or leave him and put him out of his fucking misery.”

She stared back at me, utterly gobsmacked with her fork in mid-air and pasta wrapped around it. I quickly glanced to Mathew and Alex, who were both equally astonished, but I’d had enough at that point. I stood forcefully, ripped my bag off the back of my seat, and accelerated out of the restaurant.

I was feeling resentful, enraged, and intolerant. And envious. Hell yes, envious. I mean, Parks made a show of telling me how much he wanted me, how much he desired me, then he pulled a stunt like this with a woman he knew I completely loathed. No,
loathed
didn’t quite cover it. I fucking hated the witch.

I needed a drink. A fishbowl of wine and a straw would do nicely. I was mentally on my way to a nearby bar, but Steph sabotaged my plan by following behind me with Alex and Mathew in tow.

“Evey. Where are you going?”

Exasperated, I tilted my head back to look up at the night sky. “Just leave me alone.”

Steph, being my best friend, was not about to do that. “You think I’m going to let you leave when you’re acting this way? I know exactly where you’re heading, and please, don’t do it. Talk to me,” she pleaded desperately, her heels clipping up the pavement as she made her way towards me. When she reached me, she spun me around by my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. She was angry with me, of course she was, but she was also the most understanding, forgiving person I knew. All she ever wanted was the best for me. I felt sick and guilty for treating her like this, but I couldn’t contain my anger.

“Steph, I just need some space.”

“With a wine bottle?” Her scoff was both angry and supplicating. “Come home, we’ll talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.” It was my turn to plead. “I just want to be alone.” I really did. Alone with a wine or vodka.

“I will not sit back and watch you drink yourself into oblivion. Remember what we said: We talk, we don’t drink. Just let me in.” Steph’s eyes were swimming in tears, but I felt exhaustion from her more than anything. She was exhausted from trying to keep me sane.

Her expression completely cooled my temper, and I groaned, rubbing my hands over my face. “All right, we’ll go home.”

The sincere, relieved breath Steph let out was heartbreaking. She had stayed by my side so many times, trying to talk me out of drinking, trying to calm me down whenever I got so angry at life and so pissed off I would black out. Did I deserve a friend like her? No, I did not.

We were all silent in the taxi ride home. I rode in the back with Alex and Steph, and Steph held my hand the whole way. When we got to our flat, she took Mathew to one side quickly, I think to apologize for her behaviour. Letting them be, I rummaged through my bag for my keys and felt Alex walk up next to me.

“You okay?” He rubbed my arm attentively.

I still hadn’t entirely calmed down, but I was a little more approachable. I looked up at Alex and saw a good, kind man. A man that had never caused me any trouble. A man that didn’t make my blood boil and didn’t force my feelings to come out of hiding and mess with my head. Alex was comprehensively safe for me. With him, my emotions were impenetrable and inaccessible, and I thought that was what I needed.

Leaning into him, I made a selfish, narrow-minded decision and placed my hands on his soft, baby-face cheeks and kissed him. After hesitating a couple seconds, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him before kissing me back. His lips were soft, affectionate, and ever so gentle. He circled his tongue slowly around mine and moved his hands around to my back to pull me closer into him. While he was kissing me, I silently begged for a heat rush. I prayed for a pulsing ache between my thighs, but there never was one. Did there have to be? If a man was willing to treat you right, did it matter if you never had that spark?

I pulled away on a small smile. “I’m going to head in. Pep talk with Steph and all that.”

“Sure.” He moved back a little to give me some space, and when we both turned, Steph was standing at the bottom of the path with her arms crossed and smirking ridiculously.

“The cab’s waiting,” she told Alex with a jerk of her head.

“I’m going.” He took another look at me and headed down the path, beaming.

“He’s head over heels for you, you know.” I knew he was, but Steph pointing it out wasn’t needed. I would try and make it work, I really would. Besides, Parks was too much. He was too frustrating. He made my blood boil. I got jealous seeing him with other women, even thinking of him with other women, and I’d never been jealous in my life. He was with me one minute, then Carla the next. He wanted me one minute and not the next. What was our relationship even based on? Rough sex? Punishment? A dirty affair? I had no idea of what category I could actually put us into. Wait, there was one: a mess. I settled on that. If I distanced myself from him and the world he came with, a world I didn’t belong in, I would be all right from then on. He was disruptive towards me and my feelings, and I couldn’t afford to self-destruct again.

Then I thought of why I’d really kissed Alex just now. Was it because I was bursting with vexation from seeing Parks with Carla? I wasn’t sure.

I climbed into bed, and Steph jumped onto the bottom, crossed her legs, and opened a Galaxy bar. “So what’s up with you?”

I took the chocolate she broke off for me out of her hand and threw it into my mouth. “I’m just worried about work.” Lie.

Her eyes were full of pity, and her voice was calming when she spoke. “I’m worried about you, Evey. You’ve been acting crazy. Erratic. Your moods are all over the place, and you’re going out with girls you don’t even know.”

“What’s that got to do with anything? How have I been acting erratic?” My defence mechanism kicked in again because I hated the truth.

“Are you kidding me? You punched your boss, Evey.”

I shrugged nonchalantly, then pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve punched someone.”

She sighed heavily, like I wasn’t getting it. “And you never ignore my calls unless you’re up to something.”

I drew imaginary pictures with my fingers in my bedding to avoid her eyes. “I didn’t hear my phone last night. I’m sorry.” I continued with the lies, lies I hadn’t strung for almost nine months, but I was back there again.

Steph sucked in some courage before her next question. “Are you drinking again, Evey?”

“No!” I barked. “You don’t trust me now?” There was my defence mechanism
again
. She shook her head timidly, so I reached over the bed to take her hand in mine and begged her, because I needed my best friend more than I thought I did. “Tell me you trust me, Steph, because I need your trust more than you will ever know. I’m not drinking again. I promise.”

After a brief pause, she sagged from watching me look so desperate. “If you say you’re not, then I trust you. One hundred percent.”

“Thank you.” I breathed out heavily and utterly relieved.

Chapter Twenty-One

All the next morning I didn’t hear from Parks nor did I see him at work, and I was immensely glad about that. I saw Carla, however, accompanied by a black eye. I almost got out of my seat to apologize to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She provoked me. She also
avoided
me
, which was strange. Not once did she look my way or talk about what happened, nor did she explain to me why she allowed me to keep my job. I didn’t understand it.

“I wonder what happened,” Clarke whispered over at me when he happened to glance up from his desktop.

I carried on typing, not being able to look him in the eye. “Who knows?”

Billy Bullshit had overheard our whispering and was quick to jump on the bandwagon. “I had a black eye once,” he said, rolling back on his heels with his arms behind his back. “It was much more hideous than Carla’s.”

I groaned loudly and almost hit my forehead against my computer screen. His voice was like torture to me. “Only you, Billy, would boast about having a bigger black eye than someone else.”

At lunchtime Clarke got his things together as he was leaving for his holiday early. I almost wished he wasn’t. I didn’t particularly like the thought of having to meet someone new and pretending to like them.

“Now when I’m gone, my girl, you are representing me, so be on your best behaviour. I can overlook your erratic behaviour—heaven forbid—but my temp will need you. And please, for the love of God, be polite.” He smirked and almost went to hug me, but I made it awkward by stepping back.

“I’ll be good,” I promised.

Steph texted me at lunch, asking to meet me at Starbucks, and I agreed. I needed to spend more time with her. I gathered my belongings and overheard Carla telling Pat all about her plans for that night.

“He took me to a beautiful restaurant yesterday evening. It was heaven. He’s too good to be true. It may have taken me a while to bag him, but I knew I would in the end.” She swooned.

“I do wish you would inform of his name,” Pat continued.

The pencil I was ready to put back into my bag snapped from the force I was holding it with. I aggressively picked up my bag and threw it onto my shoulder before turning to leave. I saw Carla smirk intentionally when I walked past. She’d obviously told Pat about her plans with Parks to piss me off. Good, they were welcome to each other.

I pushed and shoved my way into Starbucks until I saw the blonde mass of curls my best friend had put up into a messy bun on the top of her head.

She pointed at my coffee when I fell into my chair. It looked delightful. “Ooh, what’s that?” I asked.

“This”—she pointed to the concoction—”is a Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino.”

“Looks yummy.” I dipped my finger into the top of the froth and licked it clean.

“I ordered us salads. That all right?” Just as she said it, the new girl, Tabby, appeared beside our table with two plates. Every time I saw her I was drawn to her eyes. They were so big, almost cartoon-like. The whites were whiter than white, and the blue irises were so blue. I couldn’t help staring, even though it was weird of me. She had her blonde hair up in a braid, which pulled her hair out of her face to show off her gorgeous, model-like cheeks. Her face was young, fresh, and angelic, flawless even though she had no makeup on.

“Wow, your eyes.” Steph was more intrigued than I was.

“Thanks.” She hardly acknowledged Steph before looking away quickly to focus on me. “Hi, Evey.” She smiled a perfect, white-toothed grin.

“Hi.” I smiled back as she set down our plates. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Again she was overly friendly and staring at me like I was a celebrity. Steph must have noticed, because I caught sight of her frown from the corner of my eye. Picking up my fork, I was about to dig into my salad when I heard Tabby’s voice again.

“Do you have plans for today?”

I gave Steph a questioning look. “Just work.” I answered short because I wanted to enjoy my lunch without someone watching over me.

“Have a nice day,” she sang, almost skipping back to where she came from.

Steph twirled her index finger around her temple. “Kooky.”

I laughed and shook my head. “She’s harmless.” A bit kooky, yes, but harmless.

We chatted amongst ourselves and had finished our salads when we were interrupted again. This time it was Steph’s friend, one that didn’t like me so much.

“Steph, darling, how are you?” I glanced up, and Steph stood to give Rachel a welcome hug. “Evey,” Rachel sniffed, and I knew it would have killed her to acknowledge me.

“Hi.” I smiled as broad as I could. It was then Steph and I noticed she had a car seat in her hands with a small baby inside.

Steph immediately swooned over the little girl. “I didn’t even know you were pregnant,” she said, all excitable.

“Nor me,” I piped up. “I just thought you’d put on weight.” That was me; no filter.

Rachel’s mouth fell open whilst Steph closed her eyes slowly, as if she wanted the ground to swallow her up.

“Sorry.” I shrugged. I wasn’t sorry but felt I had to apologize before Steph had a heart attack.

Rachel turned away from me to chat to Steph briefly before walking off to find a table.

When Steph sat down, I was drinking the remainders of my coffee and looked over the ridge of my cup to find her scowling at me. “What?” I said, intentionally innocent.

“That is why you have no friends,” she hissed, then her attention went to her phone as it beeped. She read a text quickly, then shoved it back into her bag aggressively.

“Mathew?” I guessed, pushing my empty plate aside.

She made a disgruntled expression. “We’re not talking.”

“Why this time?”

“Because our sex life sucks. He can’t keep a boner, Evey.”

I stared at her, deadpan. “You’re not serious?”

“I tell him to get some Viagra, because his mate, Ricky, sells them three quid each, but he won’t accept that he needs that small boost, you know? He’s fucking useless. I have a better experience by myself. Thank fuck for my collection of rampant Rabbits.”

I glanced at my watch and saw it was just gone one o’clock. Praise the Lord I got out of her going on about Mathew. “Shit.” I stood in haste. “I have to get back to work. See you later.”

***

I climbed into the lift, and just because I was late, it seemed to stop on every damn floor. My foot was tapping restlessly as I stood behind two old men that were getting out before my stop. As the doors opened, off they went, and in walked Parks. His eyes lit up, as if he was a little entertained when he spotted me, and my heart skipped a beat from the sight of his face. I tried to press the ‘close’ button on the door to stop him entering, but he jammed his foot in the way quickly. I shifted aside so I wasn’t near him, but Jesus, the sexual tension between us could have turned the atmosphere a scorching red. From the corner of my eye, I saw him make a show of looking at his watch.

“You’re late.” He leaned over to press the button for his floor, then took my wrist, glancing at the watch he bought me. When his fingers touched my skin, my heart did a jump, my pulse quickened, and my temperature heightened. “I see your watch is still working, so the problem must be your incapability to tell the time.”

I snatched my wrist from his hold. “I lost track of time at lunch. Not that it is any of your concern.”

He straightened out his tie, and I would have been lying if I said I didn’t watch his dexterous fingers at work whilst thinking about how they could make me slick in moments. “Lunch with whom?”

“The fucking queen,” I spat out, angry at his lack of emotion. After what he’d done, he still thought he had the right to be possessive towards me.

“Oh, and how was dear old Elizabeth?” He was playing around and spoke in an English accent when he knew I loved him doing so. Bloody arse.

I wrinkled my nose as hostility coursed through my body. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

The doors pinged open, and as ever, he gestured for me to exit before him. “After you.”

I marched past him and felt the sting of a slap across my backside. My body lurched forwards, and instinctively I looked up at the desk where Melisa was sitting, but thankfully she was too engrossed in her computer to have noticed.

Parks pushed himself up against my back and bent down to my ear. “That’s for being late.”

I exhaled harshly through my nose like a wild bull as he walked ahead of me in his fine, charcoal-grey suit. Melissa’s bright-eyed, girly flutter of eyelashes when she spotted him made me want to vomit in my mouth.

“Afternoon, Mr. Parks.” She beamed as he walked on gallantly without giving her a glance. I followed him into the room he was entering and slammed the door behind me.

“What the fuck was that?”

“A punishment for being late.” He was aloof and completely reticent. I hated that he was acting cold, distant,
and dating Carla
. Fuck it, I thought. My life was better when he wasn’t in it. My head was better with him not engaging it, and my body was better off without him touching it. Or fucking it. Or licking it.

I scoffed and turned on my heel slightly to look away from him. “Fuck you,” I spat.

“I’d rather you fucked me,” he hit back smoothly.

“Or you could go fuck
Carla
,” I hissed as I looked back at him.

His eyes narrowed bitterly. “She means nothing.”

I crossed my arms. “You sure looked cosy last night.”

He copied me and crossed his own arms. “So did you and Alex.”

My jaw dropped. He had the cheek to bring that up? “You think you can tell me you want me, then go date Carla, then have the nerve to pull me up on Alex?”

His sigh was exasperated, and so was the action of his fingers as he rubbed his forehead. “That was for you, Evelyn.”

I gulped, perplexity washing over me. “What?”

“The only thing stopping her pressing charges against you is to date her. And I obliged. It’ll only be until the evidence of her black eye has disappeared, because when that’s gone, she has nothing against you. Only her word. She took pictures of it, of course she did, but I got into her phone and deleted them. She has nothing on you, Evelyn. I want to protect you, don’t you see? I
will
protect you.”

My heart halted in my heavy chest, and my mind was swamped with a mixture of emotions. “You’re dating Carla to stop her pressing charges? Is that why she let me keep my job?”

“Evelyn, I will do whatever it takes to be with you. I won’t hold back anymore. If I have to chase, then so be it.”

“So fucking her is the deal too?”

His frown dominated his forehead. “I’ve never slept with her.”

“That’s what she implied,” I sulked. It was pathetic.

“She’s lying.” He was getting cross.

I threw my hands up in the air. I was drowning in too many emotions: confusion, gratitude, lust, desire. “I can’t do this. I really can’t.” I turned swiftly. Parks was about to follow me, reaching out to grab me, but I swiped at him. “Leave me alone!”

***

I got home from work and desperately tried to ignore the sullen, empty feeling following me around. Half of me knew why I felt empty, and half of me denied it. Parks had, like I asked, left me alone. He gave me space. That’s what I wanted. Then why was I wishing it wasn’t?

I texted Alex back, as he asked if he could call around to see me for a film and a takeaway that night after his shift. I said yes and desperately tried to look forward to it. My guilt towards the way I felt for Alex was growing, but then he wasn’t my boyfriend, so why did I feel sorry for sleeping with Parks instead of him?

I decided to go for a swim to clear my head. Fifty lengths of aggressive swimming later, I was back in my clothes when my phone started to ring. I answered it mindlessly, and my dad’s voice came down the speaker all cheery. “Hey, kid, me and your ma want you over for dinner tonight. Say you’ll come.”

The way he begged at the end made my eyes roll, because I knew I would say yes. I had nothing else to do, so I agreed. “Sure, what time do you want me?”

The breath he’d been holding finally let loose. “Now? Your mum’s cooking a roast dinner.”

Oh God, I couldn’t wait to see how that was going to turn out.

***

After walking past the gangs of kids and up the metal stairs, I noticed my parents had a new door fitted. It was about time. Obviously the locks had been changed, so I banged on the door with my fist because the letter slot seemed to have been ripped off already. My dad answered, and his shaggy, shoulder-length hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks. His baggy clothes hung from his gaunt frame, and he was paler than the last time I saw him. I didn’t question him, though, I just walked inside, hoping for the smell of a roast chicken dinner, but all I could smell was burning. Then the fire alarm went off, and my dad rushed past me to swat the screeching thing with a towel.

Never a dull moment in my parents’ house.

“Fuck,” my mum yelled, followed by the crash of a baking tray. Yep, she had burnt it.